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Post by mattador78 on Mar 25, 2019 8:58:16 GMT
I’m in the Haywood at the minute with a lad from work who has caught a steel hook we use to hang metal from in his nose and ripped his septum 🤷♂️. Got me thinking about stupid injuries at work or home I once chopped my thumb off opening a tin of dog food 🤦♂️ Anyone else got any weird ones??
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Post by yeokel on Mar 25, 2019 9:33:46 GMT
I’m in the Haywood at the minute with a lad from work who has caught a steel hook we use to hang metal from in his nose and ripped his septum 🤷♂️. Got me thinking about stupid injuries at work or home I once chopped my thumb off opening a tin of dog food 🤦♂️ Anyone else got any weird ones?? I was born in the Haywood As for accidents..... I was once lying on my back underneath a sailing dinghy doing a bit of repair work on it. It was summer, so no shirt or overalls on and was trimming a bit of sealent back with a Stanley Knife which I accidentally dropped, blade open and pointing down on to my stomach. It probably only went in a few mm but it stung, and bled a bit. I've still got the scar to prove it.
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Post by kelw on Mar 25, 2019 10:37:06 GMT
In Australian on a boat in Darling Harbour. Had a beer in hand and decided to pose against the boat chimney thing. Took all the skin off my hand was so hot. Pretended nothing had happened trying to be cool but was in agony
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Post by bigjohnritchie on Mar 25, 2019 10:59:58 GMT
I’m in the Haywood at the minute with a lad from work who has caught a steel hook we use to hang metal from in his nose and ripped his septum 🤷♂️. Got me thinking about stupid injuries at work or home I once chopped my thumb off opening a tin of dog food 🤦♂️ Anyone else got any weird ones?? I was born in the Haywood As for accidents..... I was once lying on my back underneath a sailing dinghy doing a bit of repair work on it. It was summer, so no shirt or overalls on and was trimming a bit of sealent back with a Stanley Knife which I accidentally dropped, blade open and pointing down on to my stomach. It probably only went in a few mm but it stung, and bled a bit. I've still got the scar to prove it. I was born in the Haywood as well Yeokel, not sure if I was conceived as a result of an accident.
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Post by bathstoke on Mar 25, 2019 11:10:45 GMT
I’m in the Haywood at the minute with a lad from work who has caught a steel hook we use to hang metal from in his nose and ripped his septum 🤷♂️. Got me thinking about stupid injuries at work or home I once chopped my thumb off opening a tin of dog food 🤦♂️ Anyone else got any weird ones?? HTF did you manage to chop your thum off opening dog food!?! It reminds me of the bloke who died from having his finger run over by a bus! You don’t die from having your finger run over. You do if you’re picking your nose with it at the time!
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Post by yeokel on Mar 25, 2019 11:20:50 GMT
I was born in the Haywood As for accidents..... I was once lying on my back underneath a sailing dinghy doing a bit of repair work on it. It was summer, so no shirt or overalls on and was trimming a bit of sealent back with a Stanley Knife which I accidentally dropped, blade open and pointing down on to my stomach. It probably only went in a few mm but it stung, and bled a bit. I've still got the scar to prove it. I was born in the Haywood as well Yeokel, not sure if I was conceived as a result of an accident. Once we left the hospital, the first place we visited was my dad’s gran (my great-grandma) to show me off. She lived just off High Lane and out of her back window you could see down, in to Vale Park. I remember thinking, even at that age, “Wembley of the North? Don’t make me f’kin laugh”.
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Post by mattador78 on Mar 25, 2019 12:32:44 GMT
I’m in the Haywood at the minute with a lad from work who has caught a steel hook we use to hang metal from in his nose and ripped his septum 🤷♂️. Got me thinking about stupid injuries at work or home I once chopped my thumb off opening a tin of dog food 🤦♂️ Anyone else got any weird ones?? HTF did you manage to chop your thum off opening dog food!?! It reminds me of the bloke who died from having his finger run over by a bus! You don’t die from having your finger run over. You do if you’re picking your nose with it at the time! Opened the tin part way went to pull it back scoop half the tin out and then close the lid back. However my dog jumped for the tin and he was a big bastard so I pulled it away but sliced the ragged edge through my thumb and around it, leaving a tiny flap of skin holding my thumb on and the bone sticking out like a skeleton.
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Post by Bojan Mackey on Mar 25, 2019 13:10:34 GMT
I ruptured a knee ligament getting out of a chair, a week before my driving test.
Fucks sake.
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Post by mattador78 on Mar 25, 2019 13:17:25 GMT
I ruptured a knee ligament getting out of a chair, a week before my driving test. Fucks sake. Trousers round ankles at the time??
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Post by Bojan Mackey on Mar 25, 2019 13:29:57 GMT
I ruptured a knee ligament getting out of a chair, a week before my driving test. Fucks sake. Trousers round ankles at the time?? Surprisingly not actually, it was around 7 in the evening and I prefer to schedule my wanks after the watershed.
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Post by mattador78 on Mar 25, 2019 13:30:59 GMT
Trousers round ankles at the time?? Surprisingly not actually, it was around 7 in the evening and I prefer to schedule my wanks after the watershed. You mean when the house is empty 😉😘
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Post by bathstoke on Mar 25, 2019 13:32:17 GMT
HTF did you manage to chop your thum off opening dog food!?! It reminds me of the bloke who died from having his finger run over by a bus! You don’t die from having your finger run over. You do if you’re picking your nose with it at the time! Opened the tin part way went to pull it back scoop half the tin out and then close the lid back. However my dog jumped for the tin and he was a big bastard so I pulled it away but sliced the ragged edge through my thumb and around it, leaving a tiny flap of skin holding my thumb on and the bone sticking out like a skeleton. 🤮
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Post by mattador78 on Mar 25, 2019 15:51:16 GMT
Opened the tin part way went to pull it back scoop half the tin out and then close the lid back. However my dog jumped for the tin and he was a big bastard so I pulled it away but sliced the ragged edge through my thumb and around it, leaving a tiny flap of skin holding my thumb on and the bone sticking out like a skeleton. 🤮 It was the day before we played Utd in the league cup at old Trafford I slammed my thumb back on and ran in the house told my mum ring my grandad I needed go hospital and sat on the front door step holding it on. Went Old Trafford the next night and had the stitches burst by my uncle grabbing my hand during the game .
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Post by bathstoke on Mar 25, 2019 16:07:29 GMT
It was the day before we played Utd in the league cup at old Trafford I slammed my thumb back on and ran in the house told my mum ring my grandad I needed go hospital and sat on the front door step holding it on. Went Old Trafford the next night and had the stitches burst by my uncle grabbing my hand during the game . 😱
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Post by Bojan Mackey on Mar 25, 2019 18:20:12 GMT
I’ve also had a bollock retract inside my body after going a bit too lively with the missus.
I fucking shit myself, felt disgusting.
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Post by felonious on Mar 25, 2019 18:38:17 GMT
I’ve also had a bollock retract inside my body after going a bit too lively with the missus. I fucking shit myself, felt disgusting. Wouldn't happen to Big Billy
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Post by felonious on Mar 25, 2019 18:41:04 GMT
My lad broke his arm taking a throw in at a school football match. He slipped on the mud as he was about to take the throw and put his hand out to stop his fall and snap. I suppose it's a long way down from 6 foot 3.
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Post by mattador78 on Mar 25, 2019 19:46:51 GMT
I’ve also had a bollock retract inside my body after going a bit too lively with the missus. I fucking shit myself, felt disgusting. How kinky are you getting, if your bollocks are even going “!fuck this I’m not watching this filth??? Let me back in!!!!”
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Post by FbrgVaStkFan on Mar 25, 2019 19:59:24 GMT
I’m in the Haywood at the minute with a lad from work who has caught a steel hook we use to hang metal from in his nose and ripped his septum 🤷♂️. Got me thinking about stupid injuries at work or home I once chopped my thumb off opening a tin of dog food 🤦♂️ Anyone else got any weird ones?? I do woodworking as an obsessive hobby...
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Post by telfordstoke on Mar 25, 2019 21:22:40 GMT
When I was a student at Stoke Poly, we had the final post-finals piss up aka “ball” with an ABBA tribute act at a field off Cauldon Road. Clearly this was an all day and all night drink and whatever else fest, so I indulged mightily and ended up taking a shortcut home over a barbed wire fence. Got back to student digs, apparently covered in blood, drove to hospital with a big nosed scouse girl I lived with, got stitches in side and right hand, drove home and spent rest of night with said scouse girl before waking up in agony and thinking “what the hell did I do last night”.
Amusingly, in the last two days, I’ve been invited to a hotel for a course 30 year reunion in September at the North Staffs!
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Post by Deleted on Mar 26, 2019 3:14:39 GMT
Setting farts on fire is very dangerous!
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Post by bathstoke on Mar 26, 2019 6:22:00 GMT
When I was a student at Stoke Poly, we had the final post-finals piss up aka “ball” with an ABBA tribute act at a field off Cauldon Road. Clearly this was an all day and all night drink and whatever else fest, so I indulged mightily and ended up taking a shortcut home over a barbed wire fence. Got back to student digs, apparently covered in blood, drove to hospital with a big nosed scouse girl I lived with, got stitches in side and right hand, drove home and spent rest of night with said scouse girl before waking up in agony and thinking “what the hell did I do last night”. Amusingly, in the last two days, I’ve been invited to a hotel for a course 30 year reunion in September at the North Staffs! Brace yourself for round 2 with’Big Nose’
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Post by bathstoke on Mar 26, 2019 6:23:47 GMT
I’ve also had a bollock retract inside my body after going a bit too lively with the missus. I fucking shit myself, felt disgusting. You’re not supposed to put you’re b%!!%#&s in as well
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Post by chigstoke on Mar 26, 2019 9:38:35 GMT
When I was little I was around a mates house, he had this toy car made of metal. Think it was meant to be some NASCAR kind of thing, but at the top there was an empty space you could reach into the car, that was meant to be covered over with some plastic I think. Anyway, being a selfish twat, I wanted to use it but my mate wanted it also. Being his property, he had every right to the car but I was being a cunt and wouldn't let him have it.
Whilst my thumb was in the square hole, he yanked the car away. I really at this point regretted not giving him the car back. Ripped the skin off the front of my thumb, nice and fleshy. Had to get it stitched back, have a scar there from it but it's actually a really good one as far as scars go, unless you took a close look you wouldn't notice it at all. Hurt like a bitch though and was pissing of blood when it happened.
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Post by elystokie on Mar 26, 2019 10:13:38 GMT
I used to have a nail gun, one that was powered by an air compressor, I was using it to patch up a door on one of the outbuildings in the garden and my eldest lad asked if he could have a go. As he pressed the trigger the nail went through the door, the patch and then my finger as I was holding the patch at the time, weird sensation having my finger nailed to the door Didn't really hurt much to be fair, the nails were more like big needles than proper nails.
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Post by Cast no shadow on Mar 26, 2019 10:34:28 GMT
When at school I had a sharpened pencil in my inside left blazer pocket, went to pick something up and it cut along around 6 inch along side of ribs/chest, still have the scar now 16 years later.
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Post by robstokie on Mar 26, 2019 12:09:25 GMT
I’ve also had a bollock retract inside my body after going a bit too lively with the missus. I fucking shit myself, felt disgusting. You sure it wasn't when you saw leaked pics of Bojan in his underpants? 😉
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Post by Bojan Mackey on Mar 26, 2019 13:02:29 GMT
I’ve also had a bollock retract inside my body after going a bit too lively with the missus. I fucking shit myself, felt disgusting. You sure it wasn't when you saw leaked pics of Bojan in his underpants? 😉 The opposite, I couldn’t contain it.
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Post by robstokie on Mar 26, 2019 13:33:40 GMT
You sure it wasn't when you saw leaked pics of Bojan in his underpants? 😉 The opposite, I couldn’t contain it. I dread to think of the self inflicted injuries iloveglennwhelan had when Whelo did his lap of honour after the villa game...
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Post by telfordstoke on Mar 26, 2019 20:03:02 GMT
When I was a student at Stoke Poly, we had the final post-finals piss up aka “ball” with an ABBA tribute act at a field off Cauldon Road. Clearly this was an all day and all night drink and whatever else fest, so I indulged mightily and ended up taking a shortcut home over a barbed wire fence. Got back to student digs, apparently covered in blood, drove to hospital with a big nosed scouse girl I lived with, got stitches in side and right hand, drove home and spent rest of night with said scouse girl before waking up in agony and thinking “what the hell did I do last night”. Amusingly, in the last two days, I’ve been invited to a hotel for a course 30 year reunion in September at the North Staffs! Brace yourself for round 2 with’Big Nose’ Said lady was the one that invited me lol. Best behaviour all round this time, honest guv!
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