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Post by scfctilidie on May 30, 2008 13:54:01 GMT
Funniest Joke by 3:10 ;D No stealing any from previous threads, especially any of mine  Go! ;D |
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Post by ben88 on May 30, 2008 13:57:43 GMT
What’s the difference between a butcher and an insomniac?
..................
One weighs a steak,
And the other stays awake.
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Post by Rick Oshea on May 30, 2008 13:58:22 GMT
your stealing my idea you twat ;D
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Post by Cartman on May 30, 2008 13:58:34 GMT
A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.
He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife:
"Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck." If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you."
To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He wwas whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!"
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Post by BraveSirRobin on May 30, 2008 13:58:37 GMT
What goes OOOOOOOOOOOOO
A cow with no lips.
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Post by Rick Oshea on May 30, 2008 13:58:50 GMT
twat abit harsh i meant bugger
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Post by jay1610 on May 30, 2008 13:59:24 GMT
I think we should have a pinned thread on this so that you can start your karma gaining games there ! |
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Post by Deleted on May 30, 2008 13:59:26 GMT
What's the definition of never-ending love?
Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder playing tennis.
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Post by scfctilidie on May 30, 2008 13:59:30 GMT
stokiedoherty you didnt show up to start a thread  I usually post a few jokes on yours Came third yesterday Just trying to give people karma |
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Post by scfctilidie on May 30, 2008 14:00:32 GMT
A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife: "Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck." If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you." To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He wwas whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!" ;D ;D ;D ;D Very Good |
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Post by Championship Potter on May 30, 2008 14:01:16 GMT
How do you ruin a party?
Make Gordon Brown the leader.
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Post by scfctilidie on May 30, 2008 14:03:49 GMT
Any more??
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Post by PerCyfilth ....Captains Log on May 30, 2008 14:04:07 GMT
A reporter in Austria speaks to a neighbour of the"dungeon master.
" Whats it been like living next door to this man and his daughter Alice"??
"Alice "? Who the fuck is Alice? You mean for 24years iv'e been livin next door to Alice?
Get me coat.
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Post by Top Stopper on May 30, 2008 14:06:32 GMT
Why did the baker have smelly hands?
Because he kneaded a shit! ;D
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Post by scfctilidie on May 30, 2008 14:07:00 GMT
Why did the baker have smelly hands? Because he kneaded a shit! ;D ;D ;D |
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Post by ben88 on May 30, 2008 14:13:50 GMT
whats red and invisable?
no tomatoes
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Post by scfctilidie on May 30, 2008 14:15:38 GMT
3rd, heard this the other day as well ;D A reporter in Austria speaks to a neighbour of the"dungeon master. " Whats it been like living next door to this man and his daughter Alice"?? "Alice "? Who the fuck is Alice? You mean for 24years iv'e been livin next door to Alice? Get me coat. ;D |
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Post by scfctilidie on May 30, 2008 14:16:32 GMT
2nd, very funny ;D A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife: "Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck." If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you." To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He wwas whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!" |
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Post by scfctilidie on May 30, 2008 14:17:14 GMT
Winner ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D Pisserrr  Karma For You Why did the baker have smelly hands? Because he kneaded a shit! ;D |
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Post by ben88 on May 30, 2008 14:19:14 GMT
i propose a re-count
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Post by Deleted on May 30, 2008 14:20:28 GMT
Mine was the funniest, why didn't I win?
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Post by scfctilidie on May 30, 2008 14:20:42 GMT
ben88, didnt win this time but i gave you your 100th karma yesterday |
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Post by Top Stopper on May 30, 2008 14:22:49 GMT
YYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!
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Post by Deleted on May 30, 2008 14:24:57 GMT
PMSL - please keep this thread going
Humpty Dumpty sat on a bed
Little bo peep was giving him head
As soon as he came she started to weep
She could tell by the taste he’d beed fucking her sheep
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Post by Deleted on May 30, 2008 14:25:39 GMT
This is an absolute fix, it’s just like the Eurovision, karma for your friends and all that.
If this was based on pure funnyness (yes that is a word) I would have won this competition.
I am going to sulk now.
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Post by scfctilidie on May 30, 2008 14:29:12 GMT
This is an absolute fix, it’s just like the Eurovision, karma for your friends and all that. If this was based on pure funnyness (yes that is a word) I would have won this competition. I am going to sulk now. Thats funnier than your joke ;D |
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Post by Deleted on May 30, 2008 14:31:12 GMT
Quit your jibba jabba fool.
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