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Post by Deleted on Nov 16, 2018 12:15:10 GMT
It's an issue that is becoming more prevalent in the mainstream. Does anyone ever experience it?
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Post by yeokel on Nov 16, 2018 12:23:31 GMT
I'm sure some people must.
Do you?
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Post by flea79 on Nov 16, 2018 12:45:34 GMT
i love my own company but i do occasionally get lonely, usually if Mrs Flea79 is away for a couple of nights, i can do a few hours on my own but when its nights its a bit strange
first noticed in a few years back when i lived with parents and they went on holiday for a couple of weeks, i took a few days off work to have some me time, after 2 days of seeing nobody or even speaking to anybody properly i had to go back work i was feeling genuinely ill and my mind went to a very dark place...
i dont consider myself to have a mental health problem (other than managed PTSD) but it scared me how quickly i went into what can only be described as depression i guess
i guess humans are just not meant to be solitary
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Post by felonious on Nov 16, 2018 12:45:42 GMT
I was having this discussion with a friend a while but more specifically with regard to older people. With banks and building society branches being withdrawn and shop tills becoming increasingly automated the level of regular contact is diminishing.
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Post by Deleted on Nov 16, 2018 13:40:48 GMT
This probably sounds contradictory because it does to me, but, I often feel alone no matter where I am. I can be at work, in a group of people I know, etc etc and still feel alone.
Even in bed, middle of the night, the silence can overpower my thoughts until I hear nothing but silence (that probably doesn’t even make sense) then the silence becomes louder and louder.
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Post by Deleted on Nov 16, 2018 13:53:35 GMT
This probably sounds contradictory because it does to me, but, I often feel alone no matter where I am. I can be at work, in a group of people I know, etc etc and still feel alone. Even in bed, middle of the night, the silence can overpower my thoughts until I hear nothing but silence (that probably doesn’t even make sense) then the silence becomes louder and louder. I have tons of friends, phone's always going off and always receiving invites to here and there. There's rarely a day that goes by that I don't feel it though. |
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Post by neworleanstokie on Nov 16, 2018 13:55:17 GMT
I live in Manhattan and it's more difficult to find new friends here than any other place I've lived. Everyone is in there own little world. Work, Gym, Run Errands, Repeat... Spent last weekend in New Orleans and didn't have time to see everyone I wanted to see as I was so busy catching up with old friends. We have Thanksgiving next week and most people who are single and live in the city just try to block it out with a stay at home Netflix marathon.
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Post by harryburrows on Nov 16, 2018 15:39:25 GMT
I live in Manhattan and it's more difficult to find new friends here than any other place I've lived. Everyone is in there own little world. Work, Gym, Run Errands, Repeat... Spent last weekend in New Orleans and didn't have time to see everyone I wanted to see as I was so busy catching up with old friends. We have Thanksgiving next week and most people who are single and live in the city just try to block it out with a stay at home Netflix marathon. Just book yourself into one of the great eateries you have in manhattan and indulge yourself with all your favorite stuff  |
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Post by neworleanstokie on Nov 16, 2018 18:04:09 GMT
I live in Manhattan and it's more difficult to find new friends here than any other place I've lived. Everyone is in there own little world. Work, Gym, Run Errands, Repeat... Spent last weekend in New Orleans and didn't have time to see everyone I wanted to see as I was so busy catching up with old friends. We have Thanksgiving next week and most people who are single and live in the city just try to block it out with a stay at home Netflix marathon. Just book yourself into one of the great eateries you have in manhattan and indulge yourself with all your favorite stuff Luckily for me it doesn't have the same meaning having grown up in the UK. Honestly the last 20+ Thanksgivings I've had here with a partner have always been a right royal pain in the arse. The last 3 I just had to suck it up to keep the GF happy by going to her family - and all without me being allowed to drink due to the hosts "issues". This years I'll cook myself a nice chicken with veggies, open a good bottle of wine and light a fire - heaven! |
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Post by NassauDave on Nov 16, 2018 19:13:34 GMT
Just book yourself into one of the great eateries you have in manhattan and indulge yourself with all your favorite stuff Luckily for me it doesn't have the same meaning having grown up in the UK. Honestly the last 20+ Thanksgivings I've had here with a partner have always been a right royal pain in the arse. The last 3 I just had to suck it up to keep the GF happy by going to her family - and all without me being allowed to drink due to the hosts "issues". This years I'll cook myself a nice chicken with veggies, open a good bottle of wine and light a fire - heaven! The NYFD guys should keep you company for a while. That should help. |
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Post by neworleanstokie on Nov 16, 2018 19:17:14 GMT
Luckily for me it doesn't have the same meaning having grown up in the UK. Honestly the last 20+ Thanksgivings I've had here with a partner have always been a right royal pain in the arse. The last 3 I just had to suck it up to keep the GF happy by going to her family - and all without me being allowed to drink due to the hosts "issues". This years I'll cook myself a nice chicken with veggies, open a good bottle of wine and light a fire - heaven! The NYFD guys should keep you company for a while. That should help. No problem there - I'm quite skilled with the old toaster oven. |
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Post by Mr_DaftBurger on Nov 16, 2018 20:38:29 GMT
'Loneliness is a crowded room'
'Loneliness was tough, the toughest role you ever played'
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Post by harryburrows on Nov 17, 2018 5:16:47 GMT
Just book yourself into one of the great eateries you have in manhattan and indulge yourself with all your favorite stuff Luckily for me it doesn't have the same meaning having grown up in the UK. Honestly the last 20+ Thanksgivings I've had here with a partner have always been a right royal pain in the arse. The last 3 I just had to suck it up to keep the GF happy by going to her family - and all without me being allowed to drink due to the hosts "issues". This years I'll cook myself a nice chicken with veggies, open a good bottle of wine and light a fire - heaven! Can't go wrong with a nice roast chicken 😁 |
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Post by harryburrows on Nov 17, 2018 5:19:15 GMT
I don't get lonely as a rule and I don't mind spending time and holidays alone as I did after divorce. The only time i felt lonely ironically was living with someone I had grown to dislike.
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Post by chuffedstokie on Nov 17, 2018 8:44:37 GMT
I don't get lonely as a rule and I don't mind spending time and holidays alone as I did after divorce. The only time i felt lonely ironically was living with someone I had grown to dislike. Couldn't have put it better. That sums up my scenario exactly. Thanks Harry. |
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Post by mattyd on Nov 17, 2018 20:24:31 GMT
Vale fans must get terribly lonely on a Saturday at about 3PM
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Post by Deleted on Nov 17, 2018 20:29:25 GMT
Since the loss of my lady, a few years back, i have not net anyone else and don't really want to tbf long term, but i have have been to many places around the world by myself and i always wish it could be with a nice Lady..
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Post by chuffedstokie on Nov 18, 2018 12:42:19 GMT
Since the loss of my lady, a few years back, i have not net anyone else and don't really want to tbf long term, but i have have been to many places around the world by myself and i always wish it could be with a nice Lady.. I can identify with your last sentence. |
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Post by bathstoke on Nov 18, 2018 13:51:30 GMT
i love my own company but i do occasionally get lonely, usually if Mrs Flea79 is away for a couple of nights, i can do a few hours on my own but when its nights its a bit strange first noticed in a few years back when i lived with parents and they went on holiday for a couple of weeks, i took a few days off work to have some me time, after 2 days of seeing nobody or even speaking to anybody properly i had to go back work i was feeling genuinely ill and my mind went to a very dark place... i dont consider myself to have a mental health problem (other than managed PTSD) but it scared me how quickly i went into what can only be described as depression i guess i guess humans are just not meant to be solitary £@#&!n'e!! Flea, you write some poignant stuff. The first lesson of mental health issues is not to panic. Get help if you need it, take meds if you need them, but don't let fear take its hold. You can grow into it & adapt. Sure, we'd love not to have mental health issues, but if you can't shift it there's no use wasting time & emotions fighting it. It's just a thing. If you're born with a phisical deformity, nobody would say sort that out. It's just what it is. Take up art & become a genius🎨 |
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Post by Deleted on Nov 18, 2018 17:44:16 GMT
I honestly am fine with being alone. I spent a lot of my childhood alone due to my mum being a single parent and I lived a long way away from friends in school, so I learned to embrace my own company. I work on my own at work as well and it doesn't affect me at all, however it's obviously always nice to be around someone. I think it depends on how you've lived? If someone has been used to being around people then it'll be a shock to the system but if like myself it's all you've ever really known you're not bothered by it which is probably quite sad in itself.
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Post by wagsastokie on Nov 18, 2018 18:43:06 GMT
I think everyone feels lonely through parts of there lives it’s how a person copes with it that is important
I always remember a thing my mother said about a fortnight after her brother died
She just turned round and said I’m alone now
Me being me I just turned round and replied don’t be silly you’ve me and my brother and sister
She just looked at me and said
You don’t understand everyone I grew up with are gone now I’m the last one
I couldn’t convince her for the last ten years of her life she wasn’t on her own
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Post by wagsastokie on Nov 18, 2018 19:21:23 GMT
It's an issue that is becoming more prevalent in the mainstream. Does anyone ever experience it? Relationship wise been on my own the best part of twenty years My sons are in and out more regular than corbyn’s brexit policy But the loneliest I have ever felt was one night I was woken up by a tremendous thunderstorm I watched the night sky light up after about ten minutes of a spectacular light show I instinctively turned round and said aloud Did you see that and with the accompanying silence realised I was on my own From that day on I have always thought something is only truly wonderful if you can share it |
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Post by bathstoke on Nov 18, 2018 19:33:06 GMT
I think everyone feels lonely through parts of there lives it’s how a person copes with it that is important I always remember a thing my mother said about a fortnight after her brother died She just turned round and said I’m alone now Me being me I just turned round and replied don’t be silly you’ve me and my brother and sister She just looked at me and said You don’t understand everyone I grew up with are gone now I’m the last one. I felt the same when my Grandfather died, but as long as there is linage it doesn’t matter |
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Post by wagsastokie on Nov 18, 2018 19:37:19 GMT
I think everyone feels lonely through parts of there lives it’s how a person copes with it that is important I always remember a thing my mother said about a fortnight after her brother died She just turned round and said I’m alone now Me being me I just turned round and replied don’t be silly you’ve me and my brother and sister She just looked at me and said You don’t understand everyone I grew up with are gone now I’m the last one. I felt the same when my Grandfather died, but as long as there is linage it doesn’t matter Looking back she just didn’t cope with being the last of her generation looking at it twenty years later I can now see in a way where she was coming from |
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Post by flea79 on Nov 19, 2018 12:16:13 GMT
i love my own company but i do occasionally get lonely, usually if Mrs Flea79 is away for a couple of nights, i can do a few hours on my own but when its nights its a bit strange first noticed in a few years back when i lived with parents and they went on holiday for a couple of weeks, i took a few days off work to have some me time, after 2 days of seeing nobody or even speaking to anybody properly i had to go back work i was feeling genuinely ill and my mind went to a very dark place... i dont consider myself to have a mental health problem (other than managed PTSD) but it scared me how quickly i went into what can only be described as depression i guess i guess humans are just not meant to be solitary £@#&!n'e!! Flea, you write some poignant stuff. The first lesson of mental health issues is not to panic. Get help if you need it, take meds if you need them, but don't let fear take its hold. You can grow into it & adapt. Sure, we'd love not to have mental health issues, but if you can't shift it there's no use wasting time & emotions fighting it. It's just a thing. If you're born with a phisical deformity, nobody would say sort that out. It's just what it is. Take up art & become a genius🎨 lol i didnt realise at the time of writing how poignant and deep it was, maybe poured a little bit more out than i meant too there, feels good to let it go occasionally, as an adopted kid i didnt quite have the right nurturing in formative years and i really do need to get some of the unresolved issues sorted out! im a dreadful artist, however i am musically talented and a competent jazz saxophonist and a reasonable classical sax player your right nobody should suffer with mental health issues, i dont consider myself to be ill as such but i went to such a dark place in a short space of time it was frightening, just chatting is good and admins are always here or another member for people to chat too! |
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Post by felonious on Nov 19, 2018 12:48:02 GMT
£@#&!n'e!! Flea, you write some poignant stuff. The first lesson of mental health issues is not to panic. Get help if you need it, take meds if you need them, but don't let fear take its hold. You can grow into it & adapt. Sure, we'd love not to have mental health issues, but if you can't shift it there's no use wasting time & emotions fighting it. It's just a thing. If you're born with a phisical deformity, nobody would say sort that out. It's just what it is. Take up art & become a genius🎨 lol i didnt realise at the time of writing how poignant and deep it was, maybe poured a little bit more out than i meant too there, feels good to let it go occasionally, as an adopted kid i didnt quite have the right nurturing in formative years and i really do need to get some of the unresolved issues sorted out! im a dreadful artist, however i am musically talented and a competent jazz saxophonist and a reasonable classical sax player your right nobody should suffer with mental health issues, i dont consider myself to be ill as such but i went to such a dark place in a short space of time it was frightening, just chatting is good and admins are always here or another member for people to chat too! Ah Flea, the joy of sax  |
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Post by harryburrows on Nov 19, 2018 15:33:30 GMT
lol i didnt realise at the time of writing how poignant and deep it was, maybe poured a little bit more out than i meant too there, feels good to let it go occasionally, as an adopted kid i didnt quite have the right nurturing in formative years and i really do need to get some of the unresolved issues sorted out! im a dreadful artist, however i am musically talented and a competent jazz saxophonist and a reasonable classical sax player your right nobody should suffer with mental health issues, i dont consider myself to be ill as such but i went to such a dark place in a short space of time it was frightening, just chatting is good and admins are always here or another member for people to chat too! Ah Flea, the joy of sax Sax in a group is cool too 😎 |
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Post by wagsastokie on Nov 19, 2018 16:16:49 GMT
Ah Flea, the joy of sax Sax in a group is cool too 😎 Always for some reason preferred the harmonica |
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Post by xchpotter on Nov 19, 2018 16:22:18 GMT
I rarely get lonely and enjoy my own company and peace and quiet. Having said that, I know that many people do get lonely and that’s why I volunteer to visit lonely older people for an hour every week or so just for a chat.
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