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Post by JurgenVandeurzen on May 29, 2018 14:26:08 GMT
There are people out there, who stand up to wipe their arse. How is that even possible? Anyone wanna own up?
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Post by thevoid on May 29, 2018 14:35:36 GMT
One up One down One to polish
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Post by GeneralFaye on May 29, 2018 16:13:53 GMT
I do, I like to look at the mess I've created before covering it up with toilet paper.
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Post by marylandstoke on May 29, 2018 16:46:55 GMT
Are these the same people using the poo knife?
There are some odd goings on.
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Post by Deleted on May 29, 2018 16:57:00 GMT
After I prefer to sit on the little fluffy toilet carpet, raising my legs and use my hands and arms to walk along the floor, dragging my arse
Also takes away any itching from leftover previous clinkers
Spotless me
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Post by chuffedstokie on May 29, 2018 18:28:54 GMT
After I prefer to sit on the little fluffy toilet carpet, raising my legs and use my hands and arms to walk along the floor, dragging my arse Also takes away any itching from leftover previous clinkers Spotless me We used to have a Corgi with a similar action. Nice dog.
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Post by Boothen on May 29, 2018 18:33:43 GMT
Ah, but can you wipe your arse with but a single sheet of bog roll?
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Post by thevoid on May 29, 2018 18:38:32 GMT
I do, I like to look at the mess I've created before covering it up with toilet paper. Like a kind of dirty Rorschach test?
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Post by thevoid on May 29, 2018 18:39:22 GMT
Ah, but can you wipe your arse with but a single sheet of bog roll? You can if you want an itchy arse and ring sting.
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Post by Deleted on May 29, 2018 18:57:26 GMT
After I prefer to sit on the little fluffy toilet carpet, raising my legs and use my hands and arms to walk along the floor, dragging my arse Also takes away any itching from leftover previous clinkers Spotless me We used to have a Corgi with a similar action. Nice dog. More to the point....clean arse 😉
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Post by robstokie on May 29, 2018 18:59:44 GMT
Im guilty of this deadly sin - but the results matter more than the process and, if my nipsy is clean, thats what really matters
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Post by Boothen on May 29, 2018 19:24:01 GMT
Just to mix things up.
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Post by JurgenVandeurzen on May 29, 2018 19:59:42 GMT
Another shocker, some people finish on a wet wipe rather than start with one.
Surely the whole process is to get you clean and dry, can't think of much worse than finishing with a wet wipe - asking for an itchy ring.
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Post by Deleted on May 29, 2018 20:18:47 GMT
Anybody ever have a cheeky sniff of the last wipe?
I love the smell of my own arse.
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Post by robstokie on May 29, 2018 20:28:31 GMT
Another shocker, some people finish on a wet wipe rather than start with one. Surely the whole process is to get you clean and dry, can't think of much worse than finishing with a wet wipe - asking for an itchy ring. too true that - you need something moist to take the majority away and use the bog roll to wipe up any remainder and, of course, to hoover up excess moisture from the nipsy area
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Post by chuffedstokie on May 29, 2018 20:39:40 GMT
Anybody ever have a cheeky sniff of the last wipe? I love the smell of my own arse. Errr, no.
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Post by Deleted on May 29, 2018 21:51:04 GMT
Anybody ever have a cheeky sniff of the last wipe? I love the smell of my own arse. Errr, no. 🙄obviously a yes
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Post by chuffedstokie on May 29, 2018 21:54:36 GMT
I'm not convinced. Depends what you've eaten the night before.
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Post by Pretty Little Boother on May 29, 2018 22:21:38 GMT
I stand up, it's the best way of getting unobstructed access from all angles, and also to check your arse is actually fucking clean by looking at the paper.
Nine or ten sheets scrunched up, a good scrub.
Repeat this up to maybe 12 times if needed.
Then when there's no longer any poo on the sheets, a wet wipe to get the debris that's hiding, and a final paper effort to dry off.
The whole process takes about three flushes typically.
(Although I'm back on a keto diet of about 1.5kg of meat a day, today's effort was a glory wipe. Nowt on the paper at all. But the coil of poo was massive (and pleasingly smooth and unbroken) and needed three goes for it to disappear entirely).
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Post by FbrgVaStkFan on May 29, 2018 23:49:27 GMT
Normally I'm all for discussion about scatological topics, however, this one is just wrong. Having said that, it's obvious that standing requires the "around the side" method, no?
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Post by bathstoke on May 30, 2018 2:22:08 GMT
I stand up, it's the best way of getting unobstructed access from all angles, and also to check your arse is actually fucking clean by looking at the paper. Nine or ten sheets scrunched up, a good scrub. Repeat this up to maybe 12 times if needed. Then when there's no longer any poo on the sheets, a wet wipe to get the debris that's hiding, and a final paper effort to dry off. The whole process takes about three flushes typically. (Although I'm back on a keto diet of about 1.5kg of meat a day, today's effort was a glory wipe. Nowt on the paper at all. But the coil of poo was massive (and pleasingly smooth and unbroken) and needed three goes for it to disappear entirely). No £@#&!n wonder we've got fatbergs. SevernTrent should bill you...
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Post by Deleted on May 30, 2018 4:57:30 GMT
How many times do you wipe though before looking on the bog roll? Do you look after each wipe or give it a few wipes before looking?
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Post by Staffsoatcake on May 30, 2018 6:14:43 GMT
Shit thread.
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Post by Deleted on May 30, 2018 10:45:08 GMT
Puppies on a roll works for me , all those little tongues and fluffy fur.
Disclaimer: No real puppies were harmed in the making of this infomercial.
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Post by JurgenVandeurzen on May 30, 2018 12:21:21 GMT
Anybody ever have a cheeky sniff of the last wipe? I love the smell of my own arse. Yeah I have, isn't it weird how it smells different close up as opposed to when you're just sitting on the toilet.
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Post by JurgenVandeurzen on May 30, 2018 12:22:47 GMT
How many times do you wipe though before looking on the bog roll? Do you look after each wipe or give it a few wipes before looking? I think you can feel when its clean, it's a fine art though. Some people strunch the toilet roll too and not neatly fold it, monsters! They're asking for mucky fingers.
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Post by Pretty Little Boother on May 30, 2018 16:34:16 GMT
How many times do you wipe though before looking on the bog roll? Do you look after each wipe or give it a few wipes before looking? I think you can feel when its clean, it's a fine art though. Some people strunch the toilet roll too and not neatly fold it, monsters! They're asking for mucky fingers. You're so wrong it's untrue. Folding the paper leads to a smoother surface area and less friction, making your fingers more prone to slippage. A scrunch provides a thicker barrier, provides a decent chunk for the fingers to grip, and also no slippage.
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Post by Deleted on May 30, 2018 17:57:04 GMT
Anybody ever have a cheeky sniff of the last wipe? I love the smell of my own arse. Yeah I have, isn't it weird how it smells different close up as opposed to when you're just sitting on the toilet. That's because there's a mixture of shit,arse sweat and blood (if you've got Jeremy Kyles or had a vindaloo).
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Post by chuffedstokie on May 30, 2018 18:51:07 GMT
I've read enough!. 😊
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