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Post by iloveglennwhelan on Aug 15, 2016 20:56:07 GMT
If you were to ask people what sort of words they would use to describe Glenn Whelan, the response would be unanimous with regard to synonym group. "Handsome", "Adorable", "Captivating", "Titillating", "Sensual", "Saucy", etc... The list goes on. Unanimous and undeniably true as this may be, Whelan may want to consider a more flamboyant style. This is not for people like me. It is for a section of small minded people who I've overheard discussing the so-called "luscious locks" of the newly arrived Joe Allen. I shouldn't take notice and I shouldn't care, but Whelan does his best to help us, so I will do my best to help Whelan. I have come up with a few style ideas for Glenn. This would not only benefit Glenn, but it would improve the overall midfield sex appeal level. A team attribute not to be sniffed at as high sex appeal levels demoralise the opponents self confidence. 1) Hipster Whelan  You probably haven’t heard of me. Hipster Whelan liked football before it was cool. 2) Top-knot Whelan  He learned to tie his shoes at an early age… now he’s tying his hair! Top-Knot Whelan. 3) Glennardo Whelinho  Glenn Whelan? I only know Glennardo Whelinho! 4) Backstreet Glenn  Everybodyyyy… block that ball just right, Backstreet Glenn, alright! 5) Undercut Whelan  Adds an extra couple of inches in the air, and a couple of inches to my erection. 6) Bruce Whillan  Bruce Whillan will die hard for his team. 7) Hip-hop Whelan  Most Southern-State American’s can’t fully pull off the cornrows look. Yet our Glenn achieves it with ease. 8) Whelando 9  A classic Whelan hairstyle from the rare Glenn Whelan archives. “Many people ask me about the 2002 World Cup. My success began with my hair, and I got the idea from a player called Glenn Whelan. I owe my success to him.” – Ronaldo Luís Nazário de Lima 9) Mullet Whelan  Don’t stop me now, I’m having such a cute time. I’m sexy as fuck. 10) Mohawk Whelan  A rugged look. Burly rough Whelan would wrestle you straight to the floor. (I hope he wrestles me) 11) Edgar Whelan  Straight outta Suriname! Edgar Whelan pulls this look off more than Davids ever could. So as you can see, Glenn is incredibly versatile in his looks. Not only that, but he pulls off every single look as a perfect 10. Any one of these styles would significantly damage opponents team morale. |
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Post by Deleted on Aug 15, 2016 20:59:20 GMT
Fuck me backwards  move over Danny pugh thread. This as just blown everything out the water |
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Post by madelinesmithmmmh on Aug 15, 2016 20:59:20 GMT
Some ones got too much time on his hands. Top work though!
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Post by boppa74 on Aug 15, 2016 20:59:51 GMT
Fuckin hell 😂
Theyre all hilarious but number 2 made me laugh the most
Quality.
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Post by BuzzB on Aug 15, 2016 21:02:01 GMT
Funny as ha! Good work.
What Glen really needs though is a rocket up his arse!
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Post by liamo on Aug 15, 2016 21:02:20 GMT
My god, i fear for Glenn's anal virginity but i definitely love these posts
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Post by PotteringThrough on Aug 15, 2016 21:04:41 GMT
7 & 9 for me
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Post by GeneralFaye on Aug 15, 2016 21:05:05 GMT
Not laughed so hard in weeks, great post SJW  |
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Post by riccyfuller93 on Aug 15, 2016 21:05:44 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Aug 15, 2016 21:14:59 GMT
Just when you think you've laughed enough you scroll down to the next picture astounding. Bravo. |
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Post by diaoshairyballs on Aug 15, 2016 21:19:54 GMT
'Don’t stop me now, I’m having such a cute time. I’m sexy as fuck.'
Hahahaha!!! ;D
Bloody superb!!!
x
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Post by stantheman on Aug 15, 2016 21:32:46 GMT
Without doubt the best poster on this board.
Has anyone got a link to Glen's Mrs who apparently tweets a fair bit?
We need to get you and your Hero to meet.
Keep up the good work.
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Post by breakonthrough on Aug 15, 2016 21:33:53 GMT
Hilarious. I feel like we should have a new style each day until berahino sign's...can we make this a thing?!
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Post by dexta on Aug 15, 2016 21:36:43 GMT
If you were to ask people what sort of words they would use to describe Glenn Whelan, the response would be unanimous with regard to synonym group. "Handsome", "Adorable", "Captivating", "Titillating", "Sensual", "Saucy", etc... The list goes on. Unanimous and undeniably true as this may be, Whelan may want to consider a more flamboyant style. This is not for people like me. It is for a section of small minded people who I've overheard discussing the so-called "luscious locks" of the newly arrived Joe Allen. I shouldn't take notice and I shouldn't care, but Whelan does his best to help us, so I will do my best to help Whelan. I have come up with a few style ideas for Glenn. This would not only benefit Glenn, but it would improve the overall midfield sex appeal level. A team attribute not to be sniffed at as high sex appeal levels demoralise the opponents self confidence. 1) Hipster Whelan You probably haven’t heard of me. Hipster Whelan liked football before it was cool. 2) Top-knot Whelan He learned to tie his shoes at an early age… now he’s tying his hair! Top-Knot Whelan. 3) Glennardo Whelinho Glenn Whelan? I only know Glennardo Whelinho! 4) Backstreet Glenn Everybodyyyy… block that ball just right, Backstreet Glenn, alright! 5) Undercut Whelan Adds an extra couple of inches in the air, and a couple of inches to my erection. 6) Bruce Whillan Bruce Whillan will die hard for his team. 7) Hip-hop Whelan Most Southern-State American’s can’t fully pull off the cornrows look. Yet our Glenn achieves it with ease. 8) Whelando 9 A classic Whelan hairstyle from the rare Glenn Whelan archives. “Many people ask me about the 2002 World Cup. My success began with my hair, and I got the idea from a player called Glenn Whelan. I owe my success to him.” – Ronaldo Luís Nazário de Lima 9) Mullet Whelan Don’t stop me now, I’m having such a cute time. I’m sexy as fuck. 10) Mohawk Whelan A rugged look. Burly rough Whelan would wrestle you straight to the floor. (I hope he wrestles me) 11) Edgar Whelan Straight outta Suriname! Edgar Whelan pulls this look off more than Davids ever could. So as you can see, Glenn is incredibly versatile in his looks. Not only that, but he pulls off every single look as a perfect 10. Any one of these styles would significantly damage opponents team morale. absolutley brilliant |
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Post by lordherefordsknob on Aug 15, 2016 21:49:26 GMT
Day off for the team today?
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Post by Deleted on Aug 15, 2016 21:58:14 GMT
Legendary.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 15, 2016 22:00:40 GMT
Will you get to the doctors?
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Post by samba :) on Aug 15, 2016 23:20:29 GMT
Best 5 minutes of the day  |
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Post by samba :) on Aug 15, 2016 23:20:57 GMT
Just when you think you've laughed enough you scroll down to the next picture astounding. Bravo. nice display picture |
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Post by scfcmacca on Aug 16, 2016 1:33:00 GMT
Without doubt the best poster on this board. Has anyone got a link to Glen's Mrs who apparently tweets a fair bit? We need to get you and your Hero to meet. Keep up the good work. Meet up? I'm sure this guy works with him everyday, this has to be a wind up from the inside. Great work though keep it up |
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Post by NassauDave on Aug 16, 2016 3:37:19 GMT
Take a bow! That is brilliant.  |
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Post by Deleted on Aug 16, 2016 4:34:57 GMT
Pisser
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Post by Stokyo on Aug 16, 2016 5:05:49 GMT
If you are reading this Glenn, strengthen your security mate!
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Post by Trouserdog on Aug 16, 2016 8:10:17 GMT
2 & 9 definitely my favourites.
Awesome work! ???
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Post by cousindupree on Aug 16, 2016 8:30:13 GMT
Just when I have posted on another thread bemoaning the lack of humour on the Oatie, I open up this and spit my Woody Reserve out all over the laptop. Fabulous work.
No7 looks like a guy I had an altercation with recently in a bar in Lafayette !!
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Post by Will_75 on Aug 16, 2016 8:35:23 GMT
Just superb. The top knot is sensational, along with the priceless detail that Glenn learned to tie his shoes at an early age. Sexual Whelan indeed.
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Post by jarhead on Aug 16, 2016 8:39:31 GMT
That is just superb mate, I'm in stitches at that!
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Post by terryesticles on Aug 16, 2016 8:39:57 GMT
Bravo!
What an awe inspiring team those 11 Glenns would make, the 'sex appeal' would blow the roof off.
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Post by ryan4england on Aug 16, 2016 9:52:11 GMT
Brilliant
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Post by foster on Aug 16, 2016 10:24:32 GMT
Fuck me backwards move over Danny pugh thread. This as just blown everything out the water This guy's Whelan threads make the top 3,4,5 for me. All of them are excellent. The Whelan impact on education and economy one was also excellent. They should get their own space on this forum. |
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move over Danny pugh thread. This as just blown everything out the water 
