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Post by mumf on Mar 17, 2016 15:36:38 GMT
My weight at birth was 10lb 4 , (of dubious parentage) and by the age of eleven I took size 10 shoes . I was the only kid who had to climb over the park railings cus I was too big to fit through the hole in the fence . My clothes were in the main 'borrowed' or stolen and my meals consisted of no vegetables ....just pies , meat and fish and chips . I used to take 14 rounds of shiphams paste snappin out to work at 17 and I had to buy a 125 cc motorbike instead of the normal 50 cc one . As a result my diet regime has always left a lot to be desired but I have always been quite active and fit (I know that's hard to believe ) but it's true .
Now that I have begun to wear a flat cap and slip ons to avoid tying my laces , I was wondering if there are any easy diet plans that anyone can recommend . I saw the diet nurse the other week and after I heard her whisper to her colleague " Here's another fat bastuurd to deal with ..." I didn't particularly see eye to eye and buggered off....
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Post by Deleted on Mar 17, 2016 15:58:12 GMT
My weight at birth was 10lb 4 , (of dubious parentage) and by the age of eleven I took size 10 shoes . I was the only kid who had to climb over the park railings cus I was too big to fit through the hole in the fence . My clothes were in the main 'borrowed' or stolen and my meals consisted of no vegetables ....just pies , meat and fish and chips . I used to take 14 rounds of shiphams paste snappin out to work at 17 and I had to buy a 125 cc motorbike instead of the normal 50 cc one . As a result my diet regime has always left a lot to be desired but I have always been quite active and fit (I know that's hard to believe ) but it's true . Now that I have begun to wear a flat cap and slip ons to avoid tying my laces , I was wondering if there are any easy diet plans that anyone can recommend . I saw the diet nurse the other week and after I heard her whisper to her colleague " Here's another fat bastuurd to deal with ..." I didn't particularly see eye to eye and buggered off.... Ah ! the Stoke - on - Trent " diet " .......I miss it .
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XXXL
Mar 17, 2016 16:16:43 GMT
Post by mumf on Mar 17, 2016 16:16:43 GMT
Instead of a dummy ...mummy used to give me a pigs trotter from Tunstall market ...! She always complained that my nappies werent big enough .
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XXXL
Mar 17, 2016 16:42:23 GMT
via mobile
Post by salopstick on Mar 17, 2016 16:42:23 GMT
Do you still use cussons talc?
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XXXL
Mar 17, 2016 16:46:02 GMT
Post by mumf on Mar 17, 2016 16:46:02 GMT
Do you still use cussons talc? No ....it tends to clinker so I now prefer Vaseline . Although I still swear by carbolic soap and Brut aftershave which I splash all over ... Not that it's fucking working ....
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XXXL
Mar 17, 2016 16:52:21 GMT
via mobile
Post by salopstick on Mar 17, 2016 16:52:21 GMT
Do you still use cussons talc? No ....it tends to clinker so I now prefer Vaseline . Although I still swear by carbolic soap and Brut aftershave which I splash all over ... Not that it's fucking working .... If it's keeping ilda away it is
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XXXL
Mar 17, 2016 16:57:50 GMT
Post by Deleted on Mar 17, 2016 16:57:50 GMT
My brother eat the same as me and my other brother, however he was 20 -21 stone and we were always around 13 -14 stone. He did exactly the same job I did and walked for miles.
Maybe the 10 - 15 pints of larger he consumed on a regular basis had some bearing =)but to be honest Mum always put it down to the fact that she fed him on Carnation Milk.
Dancing is my tip , since I stopped dancing I have piled on the weight. I'm sure the lack of S***ing isn't helping either.
So if you marry a nymphomaniac pole dancer with a passion to get you involved you should be fine, you could grease her pole and yours with your Vaseline and lose weight in the process, everyone's a winner =)
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Post by mumf on Mar 17, 2016 17:00:11 GMT
ildas away at the moment at the Asian women's gurning championships.
I'll be amazed if she doesn't win.
She can curdle milk with a fleeting glance.
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XXXL
Mar 17, 2016 17:18:15 GMT
via mobile
Post by mumf on Mar 17, 2016 17:18:15 GMT
My brother eat the same as me and my other brother, however he was 20 -21 stone and we were always around 13 -14 stone. He did exactly the same job I did and walked for miles. Maybe the 10 - 15 pints of larger he consumed on a regular basis had some bearing =)but to be honest Mum always put it down to the fact that she fed him on Carnation Milk. Dancing is my tip , since I stopped dancing I have piled on the weight. I'm sure the lack of S***ing isn't helping either. So if you marry a nymphomaniac pole dancer with a passion to get you involved you should be fine, you could grease her pole and yours with your Vaseline and lose weight in the process, everyone's a winner =) Mmm...dancing. I only ever tried it once on a Nile cruise ship that served 70% proof 'egyptian whiskey' but was rudely interrupted & detained by Egyptian police after a fight broke out with some Germans. Summat to do with the 'whore' and a Nazi salute....several escudos later I was released without charge and they even let borrow one of their police bikes back to Aswan.
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XXXL
Mar 18, 2016 18:26:35 GMT
Post by PotterLog on Mar 18, 2016 18:26:35 GMT
no carbs no sugar exercise at least three times a week
Bob's yer uncle.
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XXXL
Mar 18, 2016 18:35:05 GMT
Post by mumf on Mar 18, 2016 18:35:05 GMT
no carbs no sugar exercise at least three times a week Bob's yer uncle. Potter....I tried the low carb stuff ....hardly any bread or pasta . No biscuits or chocolate & sweeteners instead of sugar .... If I told you how much I exercise then you just wouldn't believe it ....and I do it 7 days a week .! I currently trying the drastic cutting of portion sizes ....
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XXXL
Mar 18, 2016 18:47:41 GMT
Post by PotterLog on Mar 18, 2016 18:47:41 GMT
no carbs no sugar exercise at least three times a week Bob's yer uncle. Potter....I tried the low carb stuff ....hardly any bread or pasta . No biscuits or chocolate & sweeteners instead of sugar .... If I told you how much I exercise then you just wouldn't believe it ....and I do it 7 days a week .! I currently trying the drastic cutting of portion sizes .... Really? And it didn't work?
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XXXL
Mar 18, 2016 18:51:12 GMT
Post by mumf on Mar 18, 2016 18:51:12 GMT
The only thing I lost was the button of me trousers in the middle of Aldi near to the sausage counter .
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XXXL
Mar 18, 2016 18:57:08 GMT
Post by PotterLog on Mar 18, 2016 18:57:08 GMT
Did you cut out alcohol?
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XXXL
Mar 18, 2016 19:01:25 GMT
Post by mumf on Mar 18, 2016 19:01:25 GMT
I don't drink beer . I don't drink spirits and I don't go out to any pubs .
I don't drink fizzy sugary drinks either ...just like sweet tea .
I might have a glass of wine at my daughters Dr Frogmella ... of the immaculate conception .
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