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Post by redstriper on Jan 12, 2015 11:29:24 GMT
Since we have no Stoke goal to drool over this week post a fake match report describing the best goal you have scored, at any level of footy. If you were/are a mediocre player like me then this is your chance to big up your ability and see your finest moment in print.
If you believe you were good enough to play professionally but "never got the breaks" here's your chance to let us all know what we missed out on.
here's mine...
Secondary school internal match, late 70's Blue bibs v Red bibs.
Redstriper won a tackle close to blue bibs right corner flag near his own goal, carried the ball upfield and played a pass to David in centre mid, David found Ian wide on the left, Ian made 20 yards and hit a early ball across to the edge of the penalty area. Redstriper had continued his run from his own half and had to slide to get a foot to it before the defender, but made great contact and the ball flew over the startled red bibs keeper and in off the underside of the bar.
* The applause was deafening definitely missing - as there were no spectators present because Mr G the P.E. teacher had disappeared - presumably to chat up Ms P, his games mistress "friend" (as we later found out).
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Post by chellpotter on Jan 12, 2015 11:34:04 GMT
In middle school a defender kicked the ball to clear it, I was on the halfway line and the ball hit my knee and flew halfway across the pitch and back of the goal.
Didn't know much about it but what a goal!!
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Post by Robo10 on Jan 12, 2015 11:41:35 GMT
I can do better - bizarrely (and towards the end of my playing time) I scored a worldie, captured on camera, that is on YouTube - we used to have a regular supporter taking videos of us (was a works team) that we had a good laugh at on a Monday!
Our end of season video is a cult classic - 7 goals for me from left back/centre half - not bad!
(That said I was a striker from 16 when I started Sunday football, in my latter years my expanding girth and lack of pace saw me in defence - which I really enjoyed!)
Always loved scoring goals though!
Goal number 2 is mine!
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Post by Deleted on Jan 12, 2015 12:02:07 GMT
I can do better - bizarrely (and towards the end of my playing time) I scored a worldie, captured on camera, that is on YouTube - we used to have a regular supporter taking videos of us (was a works team) that we had a good laugh at on a Monday! Our end of season video is a cult classic - 7 goals for me from left back/centre half - not bad! (That said I was a striker from 16 when I started Sunday football, in my latter years my expanding girth and lack of pace saw me in defence - which I really enjoyed!) Always loved scoring goals though! Goal number 2 is mine! Great strike...and two of your team mates just turned round and stroll back to the halfway line! cheeky cunts. Mine was in a 5-a-side game. Received the ball on the half way line, nutmegged the defender and just as the ball was getting to the D with the keeper standing in wait, i stretched out my long hairy right peg, took the ball round the keeper and knocked it in to the whopping delight of two of my team mates. The other two cheeky cunts just turned round and strolled back |
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Post by foster on Jan 12, 2015 12:05:39 GMT
I can do better - bizarrely (and towards the end of my playing time) I scored a worldie, captured on camera, that is on YouTube - we used to have a regular supporter taking videos of us (was a works team) that we had a good laugh at on a Monday! Our end of season video is a cult classic - 7 goals for me from left back/centre half - not bad! (That said I was a striker from 16 when I started Sunday football, in my latter years my expanding girth and lack of pace saw me in defence - which I really enjoyed!) Always loved scoring goals though! Goal number 2 is mine! Looking at the celebration you could be mistaken for Alan Shearer.  |
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Post by Bojan Mackey on Jan 12, 2015 12:06:47 GMT
Two stick in my mind, both of them at Power League, one was a half volley I hit from the halfway line that found it's way into the far corner, the other was being pinned the corner at my end, completely mugging their player off and knocking it to my mate, who played it straight back to me and I rifled it first time into the top corner.
Both were amazing for me as I consider myself to be like Assaidi, very tricky but fuck all end product, apart from the odd occasion above where I score a wonder goal.
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Post by redstriper on Jan 12, 2015 12:08:37 GMT
6-0 and not to the pub team. Good hit robo10, drew some applause from one of their mids as well.
nb) your winger looked offside for goal 4 - and interfering with play.
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Post by Deleted on Jan 12, 2015 12:14:34 GMT
I can do better - bizarrely (and towards the end of my playing time) I scored a worldie, captured on camera, that is on YouTube - we used to have a regular supporter taking videos of us (was a works team) that we had a good laugh at on a Monday! Our end of season video is a cult classic - 7 goals for me from left back/centre half - not bad! (That said I was a striker from 16 when I started Sunday football, in my latter years my expanding girth and lack of pace saw me in defence - which I really enjoyed!) Always loved scoring goals though! Goal number 2 is mine! Looks like a scuff to me... |
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Post by Robo10 on Jan 12, 2015 12:33:38 GMT
It was a clearance WD :-)
I probably scored better, have a few in the memory bank that get better with each passing year in my own head ;-), but that one is captured for posterity!
Was never really arsed though, it could go in off my backside from half a yard and I would celebrate the same...
I used to be a regular 30+ goal a season striker in some woeful Sunday sides, but alas drinking all weekend and eating kebabs catches up with you by your late 20s!
Great days though, miss playing and the crack, the states people turned up in, grabbing folk off the street to play etc lol
I run a kids team now - still get my fix but on the other side of the line.
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Post by Deleted on Jan 12, 2015 12:38:10 GMT
It was a clearance WD :-) I probably scored better, have a few in the memory bank that get better with each passing year in my own head ;-), but that one is captured for posterity! Was never really arsed though, it could go in off my backside from half a yard and I would celebrate the same... I used to be a regular 30+ goal a season striker in some woeful Sunday sides, but alas drinking all weekend and eating kebabs catches up with you by your late 20s! Great days though, miss playing and the crack, the states people turned up in, grabbing folk off the street to play etc lol I run a kids team now - still get my fix but on the other side of the line. To be fair mate, that's a brilliant strike. Outstanding tekkers! I used to play right back in my younger years for Knype Vics Youth. The Gary Neville type player (far from the most talented, but worked hard, gave 100% etc). Scored double figures for a few seasons but mostly tap ins and headers (I was penalty taker which normally accounted for half of them). |
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Post by partickpotter on Jan 12, 2015 12:42:08 GMT
Was on holiday a couple of years ago with my son and played a seven a side game that he and his pals watched from a small stand (it was one of those Spanish resort places with a dedicated football pitch).
Anyway it was quite a good game, and goalless as we came to the last few minutes. I was playing in defence when the ball got rolled across to me pretty much on the centre spot. I hit it first time, and on one of those very rare occasions caught it perfectly. Usually these efforts fly 20 foot high and wide, but that day it went like a bullet into the top right corner.
Great to do that in front of your son.
I'm sure he was impressed!
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Post by robchicken on Jan 12, 2015 12:47:02 GMT
Mine was probably for the oatcake occasionals team.....about 1min 32 seconds
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Post by bathstoke on Jan 12, 2015 12:52:57 GMT
5 a side v some randoms at 1am at Reading festival circa 97.
Playing amongst the dusky glow and stench of plastic bottle fires a baggies mate of mine crossed the ball & I produced a diving header. Out of it!!!
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Post by metalhead on Jan 12, 2015 14:17:21 GMT
If we're talking 11 aside, I've got two. I didn't score many primarily because I spent almost my entire youth as a full back, so between the age of 8 and 18, I think I scored about 4 goals in total.
Probably my best came in a cup match when I was about 13. We ultimately lost 4-2, but I opened the scoring. We won a free kick on the right hand side and I pushed up to about 5 or 6 yards outside the penalty area. As the cross came in, I ran into the box as fast as my fairly uninspiring speed could take me and caught it perfectly on the volley in a rather weird slide-volley motion. It flew in the top corner. It was a great goal, and I've always wished I could see it again, but deep down, I know there was a fair chunk of luck behind it. How much did I know about it? Not much. It was hit and hope, but hey, I'll take the credit.
My only other good goal came in a school match. One of our midfielders was off sick, so I offered to fill in central midfielder as we had another player who could play in my role but only 12 actual players in our squad. Within 5 minutes of kicking off, I noticed how slow and static their back four was. They had some big chunky lad at centre back with another lad who was about 4 stone wet-through. It was the weirdest of mismatches I've ever seen but it meant that they were neither able to deal with balls over the top, or balls into feet. Neither player was comfortable and we dominated the game. I missed a very good chance after I flattened their thin centre half, but put it over. About two minutes later, our centre back and he played a long looping ball over the top, I easily (despite having pretty much no pace) outpaced their fat centre half who desperately tried to pull me back. The keeper came flying out and I was just able to reach it in time and side footed it over him straight into an empty net. It wasn't exactly a brilliant goal, but I was pretty chuffed considering scoring isn't my strong point.
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Post by redstriper on Jan 12, 2015 14:58:00 GMT
good stuff metal. The lower level the goal the better the story is. nb) The sheer genius of the Whelan challenge on your signature still makes me laugh, they didn't even get a free kick if I remember right |
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Post by metalhead on Jan 12, 2015 15:03:27 GMT
good stuff metal. The lower level the goal the better the story is. nb) The sheer genius of the Whelan challenge on your signature still makes me laugh, they didn't even get a free kick if I remember right Yep, I do remember those goals fondly. My others were nothing special. One was a tap in after I came up for a corner. The other was a similar tap in off a free kick except I'm pretty sure I shinned it. No free kick. I remember the Man Utd fans phoning up on 5Live going mental saying the ref must have been bent not to give a foul for that challenge. Made the whole thing a little bit sweeter. |
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Post by scfcmacca on Jan 12, 2015 15:07:41 GMT
5 a side was in goal saved a powerful shot with my knee the ball then pinged through the air only to go straight in the top right. I was expecting that to be show on sky sports news for at least ten years.  |
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Post by NassauDave on Jan 12, 2015 16:10:17 GMT
Around 1980, at the very open and exposed Meir aerodrome, Stoke Speedway was my team.
I attempted a 25 yard back pass to our goalie ( the goalie could pick it up back then). The ball was in mid air and a safe looking catch, but the wind caught it and it flew in.
It was pretty spectacular and I looked a right useless cunt, as did Mick our goalie.
Sad but true.
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Post by Pretty Little Boother on Jan 12, 2015 16:12:54 GMT
Two yard tap in.
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Post by stokiesteve on Jan 12, 2015 16:28:52 GMT
5 a side at the Michelin. I used to defend normally on my own. (I was that good a centre half ) Anyway I went up for an attack which fizzled out, about two thirds of the way back I glanced back up again to see the ball coming at me bouncing, it was one of those where I just acted without thought. Hit the ball from near enough my own goal area and it just flew in. Most of them were just staring at me in shock. My only other goal was at Stoke's old gym by the boothen end, again a five a side competition. Again I smacked it as hard as I could from my own half to see it hit a metal rsj before bouncing back towards their goal and somehow it went in. Which is probably why my Michelin goal was so special to me!! |
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Post by StoKeith on Jan 12, 2015 16:38:54 GMT
2 goals. One for Argonauts FC. Playing as a centre back, I cleared the corner with a header, sprinted up the pitch and received the ball at the edge of the opposition box to hit a first time shot into the far corner. I actually have four pictures of this goal developing (I'll try to find them later). It took 16 seconds between me clearing the corner and scoring the goal.
The other one was for a team called Tebby in a 2-1 win. Quick throw in on the right was thrown for me to run on to and I half-volleyed the ball from the corner of the penalty area into the far top corner of the goal. A bit like Greenhoff vs Birmingham or Crouch vs Man City. Lovely.
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Post by Northy on Jan 12, 2015 16:43:14 GMT
I can do better - bizarrely (and towards the end of my playing time) I scored a worldie, captured on camera, that is on YouTube - we used to have a regular supporter taking videos of us (was a works team) that we had a good laugh at on a Monday! Our end of season video is a cult classic - 7 goals for me from left back/centre half - not bad! (That said I was a striker from 16 when I started Sunday football, in my latter years my expanding girth and lack of pace saw me in defence - which I really enjoyed!) Always loved scoring goals though! Goal number 2 is mine! Cracking strike |
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Post by Northy on Jan 12, 2015 16:48:38 GMT
11 a side match somewhere near Hexham west of Newcastle at an Army base, with a howling wind, picked the ball up just near the halfway line, spotted the keepr on the edge of the 18 yard line and just hit it, it flew over him and into the net, very wind assisted , turned out to be the winner in a 2-1 win, squaddies sent on a sub not long after and he took me out knee height about 30 seconds after coming on and I had to go off, the ref was from the Army, he didn't get sent off, he was called twatkinson I think |
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Post by Stoke711 on Jan 12, 2015 16:59:44 GMT
I was forever trying overhead/scissor kicks as a teenager, scored a few but my best goal was similar to Dean West against us for Burnley. Ran on to a loose ball from 35 yards out and drilled it into the top corner.
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Post by riccyfuller93 on Jan 12, 2015 17:54:16 GMT
It was a 6 a-side game. I remember dribbling past 3 people, laying it off to a friend, I then continued my run as he hit it long towards me, I won the header and knocked it down to the winger, he crossed it in and I bicycle kicked it straight into the top corner. Even the other team applauded me, was a great day.
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Post by bignickhowes on Jan 12, 2015 18:17:23 GMT
a cross come up and I did a bicyle straight into the corner of the goal, great strike. Also scored from the halfway line in under 10'lobbing the keeper |
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Post by Linx on Jan 12, 2015 18:18:22 GMT
In my early twenties, it was my debut for the staff footie team. Fortuitously, I had been idly flicking through a soccer coaching manual earlier that day, which was strange, because I had never been bothered before. The one thing I remembered from it was that you needed to lean forward and get your body over the ball to get power and accuracy in a shot. Early in the game, the ball fell to me just in front of our defensive third of the pitch. I leant over the ball and just belted it as hard as a I could, my first touch on the ball. It went like a rocket, dipping over their keeper and into the net. I was a hero, and the boys thought they had a secret Brazilian in their ranks! It travelled two thirds the length of the pitch and, although it was a clearance, I pretended it was an intentional attempt to catch the keeper off his line.  It was all downhill from there.  |
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Post by BraveSirRobin on Jan 12, 2015 18:20:18 GMT
Playing vs cobridge community centre...orrible side...scored 2 ..One on the right side of the box curled in the left top corner with my right boot...The second on the left side into the right top corner with my left.. beautiful.
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Post by BraveSirRobin on Jan 12, 2015 18:23:01 GMT
Playing vs cobridge community centre...orrible side...scored 2 ..One on the right side of the box curled in the left top corner with my right boot...The second on the left side into the right top corner with my left.. beautiful. ooh remembered a better one ..keeper rolled the ball to me on the edge of the box..i went on a beagrie vs bournmouth run from one end of the pitch to the other and slotted the ball home with aplomb! Sexy! |
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Post by Caerwrangonpotter on Jan 12, 2015 18:25:11 GMT
Coronation Avenue Subutteo Cup, playing for the old Jules Rimmet trophy: Playing with early 1980s Norwich, striker (who only had one arm, hence the set being a Brookfields bargain) managed a never to repeated bend on a shot that would have won the real Jules Rimmet trophy if in real life ...still ended up losing though. Important childhood lesson learnt. A Brookfields bargain Norwich City is no competition for a 1982 World Cup team Germany  |
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