DO IT FOR MY SANITY

[StatesideStokie]

It's 8am here, the sun is shining bright without a cloud in the sky, birds are singing and it's almost 80 degrees. Like everyone else, I have endured a week of mental torture, with my moods swinging wildly from hour to hour, unable to concentrate on anything for more than a few minutes without my thoughts returning to the Bristol City game on Saturday. My girlfriend has all but given up trying to understand my constant state of turmoil and has grudgingly accepted that life is likely to get worse over the course of the next three weeks. During a brief period of relative mental calm last night, I sat down and attemted to justify my state of emotional and mental inbalance, and although she has absolutely no knowledge of the beautiful game ( she's American, so I really mean NONE) she listened intently as I gave her a brief history of the numerous traumas I had suffered since my first visit to the Old Vic at 7 years old. It was 1980, and a shit 0-0 versus Brighton. The highlight of the day was a parachute display, with some bloke landing in the centre circle. I should have fucking known right there and then how this was going to turn out, but no, my Dad explained it was just an off day and that all teams had them. He just decided to leave out the part about us having them a lot more often that most other clubs, which to be fair, was probably wise on his part as at that time, I had developed a very unhealthy fascination with the all-conquering, perm-loving scousers from the red half of Liverpool. I then shared with her the terrors of our relegation season from the top flight and our rapid decline into the depths of despair. I explained to her the evils of Richie Barker and Mick Mills. I revealed the deep mental scars left by the Alan Ball era, and the physical ones that are still evident after teenage trips away to Millwall, Swansea and numerous other shit-stinking holes in all corners of my beloved homeland. I briefly raised the mood as I recalled the Macari era, and that brief period of joy and pride at finally experiencing what it was like to encounter some success for the first time. But that fleeting moment was soon lost as I plunged back into the depths of despair at the recollection of Macari walking away, and the loss of The Golden One. I quickly moved on, trying to retain some kind of composure while explaining of his return, knowing that I was close to having to recall the play-off experience and of my feelings after that Leicester game. At this point, I was barely holding it together as my mind was beginning to return to Bristol on Saturday, and of how this time it would be all the more difficult to take if we failed, with me being a lone Stokie 3500 miles from home. I took a deep breath, regained my composure and talked her through it. Half expecting some sympathy, I looked her in the eye, and saw only pity. So on I went, with tales of Icelandic fishmongers, more despair and torture and another very brief success tainted by internal turmoil at the club. I brought her right up to date, to the point we are at now, and waited for her response. She sat in silence, just looking at me with an expression of bemusement, and after a brief, uncomfortable silence, she comforted me with the words "You need to see a fucking therapist". I could see the fear in her eyes, a look of utter disbelief and I was half expecting her to kick me out right there and then, but she sat for a few more moments while I just stared blankly at the wall. She then stood up, left the room and returned with two beers, and explained that after carefull consideration, she wanted Stoke to be promoted more than I did, because she genuinely feared for my mental wellbeing should we fail, and agreed to try and be a little more tolerant over the forthcoming weeks. No more was said on the subjuect, but this morning I feel a serene calm, and a new optimism. All of the fear and anxiety has gone, and I can't stop smiling. I just KNOW that this is our year, this time we WILL do it and everything is good in the world. I can't explain why, and I know there is no logic to how I feel, but I have decided not to fight it, not to dwell on past misery and dissapointment, and just to go with my gut instinct and BELIEVE.

GOOOOOOAAAAAAAARN STOKE!

[StatesideStokie]

Update: Now I'm shitting meself again.

[trebor63]

LOL

It just goed to prove the love of your club can never be diminished even if going the games isn't possible. When I was ski guiding a few years ago EVERY time Stoke played I was stood by a tele watchin sky sports news with my good mates and fellow ski guides (Matt and Graham) both Leicester fans.

I am nervous as hell at the moment NEVER EVER EVER felt like this before

DO IT STOKE JUST DO IT

[StatesideStokie]

The thing is, it is so easy to follow everything over the internet...... sometimes I think it would be easier if I couldn't find fuck all other than the results a few days after each game!

[bogus]

You can take the Bloke out of Stoke.........................

Have some karma stateside

[foals]

stateside, fortunatly i am not old enough to remember the demise of our great club in the mid 80s and the alan ball era. i think my first match in '93 was either under joey jordan or lou macari, so i didnt have too long to wait until i was watching that glorious football of the 95/96 macari season. since then stoke have taken me to the brink of insanity and back. i cant describe some of the emotional states that this club has put me in. just one thing - im worried that if we fail this time, it will leave much deeper scars than any other failure could ever had done. simply because we can do it. we have to do it. but the truth is, it should be in the bag already. my beloved stoke city are already playing games with my emotions and a couple of weeks ago were preparing me for the worst. i genuinely believe, like you, that this is our season. it has to be doesnt it? but IF we were to fail, how does one come to terms of the prospect of another season in the championship?

do eet for foals

please

[StatesideStokie]

Well, we come to terms with it because we're Stoke and we have to! I agree with you though, this season, should we fail, the scars will cut deeper because we will have blown the best chance we have ever had. How ironic though, that should we succeed and be promoted, that our prize will more than likely be a season long beating in the Prem. Fuck me, it's hard being Stoke, innit?

[foals]

i honestly do think stateside, that if we get there, pulis will do what he does best. put together a well organised team that are difficult to break down. we certainly wouldnt do a derby imho, and i reckon we might just stay up and consolidate ourselves as a premiership outfit! fingers crossed!

[wembley4372]

Steady foals, lets just get there first