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Post by guernseydave on Feb 17, 2012 20:04:10 GMT
For the Rimmers
"If all else fails, a total pig-headed unwillingness to look facts in the face will see us through"
The team captain to Pulis
"Am I jumping the gun, Mr pulis, or are the words 'I have a cunning plan' marching with ill-deserved confidence in the direction of this conversation?"
Pulis to James Beattie
"Pulis: Beattie, I would like to say how much I will miss your honest, friendly companionship.
Beattie: Thank you, Mr P.
Pulis: But, as we both know, it would be an utter lie. I will therefore confine myself to saying simply, 'Sod off and if I ever meet you again, it will be twenty billion years too soon.' "
Pulis on this present poor run
" 'We're in the stickiest situation since Sticky the Stick Insect got stuck on a sticky bun.' "
Any more . I'm bored !
GD
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Post by pretzel on Feb 17, 2012 20:11:55 GMT
Wasn't it Baldrick who spent countless thousands of pounds of his masters money on his 'dream turnip'?  |
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Post by Mr Notherchance on Feb 17, 2012 20:22:47 GMT
Rudge at the Robert Huth red card appeal...
I was planning on playing the mindless optimism card pretty strongly. I planned my closing address based on that very theme...oh go on, let him off your honour, please!! After all it's a lovely day; pretty clouds, trees, birds etc. I rest my case.
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Post by lawrieleslie on Feb 17, 2012 20:23:55 GMT
PC to TP after defeat at Crawley Town: 'If nothing else works, a total pig-headed unwillingness to look facts in the face will see us through.'
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Post by Mr Notherchance on Feb 17, 2012 20:29:07 GMT
Tony Scholes walking with distain past the ticket off queue...
"Morning Mr Scholes"......"morning peasant"
"Good morning Tony"......"morning peasant"
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Post by jonah77 on Feb 17, 2012 20:29:24 GMT
"trying to change t.p.s mind is like putting wheels on a tomato,time consuming and completely pointless.
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Post by Mr Notherchance on Feb 17, 2012 20:36:00 GMT
"Tony, you must have been disappointed to have to sell your close friend, Dave Kitson?"
"Nige, I've lost closer friends than David, the last time I was de-loused".
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Post by CalgaryPotter on Feb 17, 2012 20:36:41 GMT
If we lose at Crawley....................
Blackadder III_ Sense & Senility
TP (The Prince Regent)
Kevan (Blackadder)
TP _ "What do you mean Dave, why only the other day I heard the crowd singing, we hail Pulis, we hail Pulis"
Kevan_"I believe it was we hate Pulis, we hate Pulis your majesty"
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Post by lawrieleslie on Feb 17, 2012 20:37:22 GMT
TP: (to Tuncay) You are last in God's great chain. Unless there's an earwig around here you'd like to victimise.
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Post by PotterLog on Feb 17, 2012 20:39:27 GMT
Kemp announces team for Swansea:  |
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Post by CalgaryPotter on Feb 17, 2012 20:42:02 GMT
TP regarding attacking full backs.................................
Do not mention the Scottish play!!
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Post by stokie12345 on Feb 17, 2012 20:43:04 GMT
"This map here represents the yards covered by Kenwyne Jones during the last match"
"What scale is it?"
"one to one"
I can also imagine SJW becoming Tony's "speckled Jim" and TP court marshalling anyone who had a go at him
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Post by Deleted on Feb 17, 2012 20:43:12 GMT
TP - You really are as thick as clotted cream, that's been left out by some clot, and now the clots are so clotted, you couldn't unclot them with an electric de-clotter, aren't you, Jermaine?
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Post by joinerssquire on Feb 17, 2012 20:46:21 GMT
Peter Coates to Pulis:
'after spending £90m our play has progressed as much as an asthmatic ant with some heavy shopping'
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Post by lawrieleslie on Feb 17, 2012 20:48:16 GMT
TP (To Crouchie at half-time after he misses a sitter at Crawley Town): You twist and turn like a ... twisty-turny thing. I say you are a weedy pigeon and you can call me Susan if it isn't so
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Post by Mr_DaftBurger on Feb 17, 2012 20:48:43 GMT
Jarhead: To you, Tony, the Renaissance was just something that happened to other people, wasn't it?
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Post by jonah77 on Feb 17, 2012 20:48:54 GMT
st peter.
"£90 mill spent and we've advanced no further than an ahstmatic ant with heavy shopping."
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Post by CalgaryPotter on Feb 17, 2012 20:50:28 GMT
Pennant to TP
"Morning boss"
"Leave me alone, Pennant. If I wanted to talk to a vegetable, I would have bought one at the market"
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Post by Mr_DaftBurger on Feb 17, 2012 20:53:15 GMT
Lil Ant after a new contract: My lord, I've been in your family since 1982.
TP So has syphilis, now get out.
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Post by CalgaryPotter on Feb 17, 2012 20:53:51 GMT
Sir Peter to TP
"Something wrong, Tony? "
"Oh, something's always wrong, Peter... the fact that I'm not a millionaire aristocrat, with the sexual capacity of a rutting rhino, is a constant niggle. "
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Post by guernseydave on Feb 17, 2012 20:55:06 GMT
The PHW's
""The case before us is that of the Oatcake versus Sir Tony Pulis , alias the Stoke entertainment murderer. Oh, and hand me the black cap, will you - we'll be needing that."
GD
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Post by lawrieleslie on Feb 17, 2012 20:56:31 GMT
PC to TP before the 1st Europa Cup adventure: Oh, Tony, then this is it. Have you got clean underwear, and don't eat foreign food and watch out for strange men and discover me a country and bring me back a vegetable and… oh, everything.
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Post by stokie12345 on Feb 17, 2012 20:57:05 GMT
"Asmir, what are you doing with that ball?"
"Writing 'Begovic', sir?"
"Why?"
"Well, i thought if my name was on every ball, i'd never have to call for it"
"Mr. Pulis has formulated a master plan to ensure victory in the field"
"Would this plan involve hoofing the ball and moving very slowly to close down the enemy?"
"How could you possibly know that it's classified information?!"
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Post by Mr Notherchance on Feb 17, 2012 21:01:53 GMT
Aaron Ramsey "ahhhhhhrrrrrggghhhh"
Glenn Whelan "have you broken your leg, Aaron?"
Aaron Ramsey "no Glenn, I've just put my elbow in a blob of ice cream"
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Post by harrysburrow on Feb 17, 2012 21:12:57 GMT
A letter from TP to Jon Walters:
"Dear Jon,
I know you're totally worn out and the supporters want me to give you a rest, but I can't do it. Tell you what though, cut along here with all your cash and some saucy night attire and you'll be staring at my bedroom ceiling from now until Christmas you lucky tart!"
P.S. WOOF WOOF!
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Post by Mr Notherchance on Feb 17, 2012 21:16:09 GMT
Pulis ahead of Stoke's match at Anfield...
"I couldn't be more petrified than if a wild rhinoceros had just come home from a hard day at the swamp and found me wearing his pyjamas, smoking his cigars and in bed with his wife"
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Post by OldStokie on Feb 17, 2012 21:21:32 GMT
"Pulis, you wouldn't recognize an attacking plan if it painted itself purple and danced naked on a harpsicord singing attacking plans are here again."
OS.
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Post by jonah77 on Feb 17, 2012 21:31:51 GMT
pulis and wenger-as similar as two dissimilar things in a pod.
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Post by Staffsoatcake on Feb 17, 2012 22:09:43 GMT
Pulis with sticks stuck up his nose, giving team tactics.
Wibble,Wibble,Wibble.
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Post by dexter97 on Feb 18, 2012 4:53:37 GMT
Useful in a whole range of scenarios: "The eyes are open, the mouth moves, but Mr Brain has long-since departed hasn't he?" Or there's my personal favourite, and probably the reason I enjoy hanging-out on this MB: "It is said, Percy, that civilised man seeks out good and intelligent company, so that by learned discourse he may rise above the savage and closer to God ... Personally, however, I like to start the day with a total dickhead to remind me I'm best" |
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