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Post by mistersausage on Jan 27, 2012 16:29:36 GMT
My missus has begun to complain about me making sarcastic comments, moaning, and shouting insults at people on the telly. Examples of such could be: When a TV presenter says their name .... I can't help but sometimes say "Who the fuck wants to know your name" or "Yes you tell us that every time .... Do you suffer from dementia?" The hair ads that tell us that it now contains p18heavenH or such bollocks ..... "Now we'll HAVE to rush out and buy some of that", I retort. The Go Compare ads..... "JUST FUCKING DIE YOU WELSH TWAT" I find myself shouting. ANY fat woman, especially those moaning about their weight..... "Fat sweaty munter ..... Leave the cake trolley alone you heffalump" David Cameron ... "Where's yer son gone" ya blue nosed cunter. Anyway .... You get the gist ..... Does anyone else do this or should I ring the men in white coats  |
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Post by gremlin on Jan 27, 2012 16:34:18 GMT
or should I ring the men in white coats The klu klux klan?  |
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Post by localloser on Jan 27, 2012 16:40:48 GMT
I'm always shouting at the telly - and I get into trouble for it. I shout at the news, I shout at Prime Ministers' Questions, although my wife isn't in when that's on, I shout at that fucking skating crap she watches and that stupid ballroom dancing shite that was on in the autumn. I especially shout at the fucking jungle nonsense with those numpties Ant and Dec.
The adverts especially drive me fucking nuts - looking at them you think: "Are they REALLY trying to persuade me to buy this shit? That ex-East-ender licking yoghhurt off a spoon as if she's giving it a blowjob and it looks as sexy as having a dump and she's trying to sell fucking yoghurt!!
The more I watch modern telly the more I feel completely separated from the world - and, worryingly, according to my family, the more I WANT to be disconnected from the artificial, shouty, insincere twats catering for people with an IQ in single fucking figures.
Often I am banished to the kitchen to watch something else in their or else listen to the football on 5live.
Bring on sensible telly that caters for sensible, cynical, seen-it-all-before bastards.
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Post by oggyoggy on Jan 27, 2012 17:06:00 GMT
i only shout at the TV during football or other sports. My girlfriend always complains, saying that they can't hear me so why bother shouting.
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Post by localloser on Jan 27, 2012 17:07:41 GMT
i only shout at the TV during football or other sports. My girlfriend always complains, saying that they can't hear me so why bother shouting. That's a woman's view, but we know it's bollocks. Of course they're listening! |
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Post by buiskatthebrit on Jan 27, 2012 17:21:04 GMT
My missus has begun to complain about me making sarcastic comments, moaning, and shouting insults at people on the telly. Examples of such could be: When a TV presenter says their name .... I can't help but sometimes say "Who the fuck wants to know your name" or "Yes you tell us that every time .... Do you suffer from dementia?" The hair ads that tell us that it now contains p18heavenH or such bollocks ..... "Now we'll HAVE to rush out and buy some of that", I retort. The Go Compare ads..... "JUST FUCKING DIE YOU WELSH TWAT" I find myself shouting. ANY fat woman, especially those moaning about their weight..... "Fat sweaty munter ..... Leave the cake trolley alone you heffalump" David Cameron ... "Where's yer son gone" ya blue nosed cunter. Anyway .... You get the gist ..... Does anyone else do this or should I ring the men in white coats Bloody hell ! There's a Mrs Sausage! Unbelievable. Poor woman deserves a medal. |
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Post by starkiller on Jan 27, 2012 17:56:55 GMT
I shouted at the TV when I realised this fucking Government thinks it's ok to spend ££££££££££££££££THIRTY SIX FUCKING BILLION to save 20 minutes on a train journey.
Nice little earner from tax payers money for all of those private corporations that corrupt MPs have a stake in.
Apparently this is the only way to deal with all the people going to London. How about STICKING A COUPLE OF EXTRA FUCKING CARRIAGES ON THE FUCKING TRAINS.????? But it's nothing to do with the given reasons is it??
What makes me shout the most is that people accept all of this shit, without question.
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Post by Deleted on Jan 27, 2012 17:59:04 GMT
Actually there is a huge anti-HS2 campaign.
But what do you suggest they do?
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Post by LL Cool Dave on Jan 27, 2012 19:33:25 GMT
At the end of the Wickes advert I always mimic Timothy Spall's ever deflating 'Wiiiickkes'
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Post by philm87 on Jan 27, 2012 20:13:57 GMT
I make angry hand gestures at the woman who does the news in sign language.
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Post by mistersausage on Jan 27, 2012 20:18:51 GMT
It appears that I am not alone ;D ;D ;D Localloser, starkiller .... I do all that too .... and more |
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Post by harrysburrow on Jan 27, 2012 20:29:02 GMT
I thought it was only me that did the "wiiiicckes" thing?
I shout at Denise Welch a lot, because for some reason she thinks she's some 53 year old bit of top totty, when in actual fact she's turned into a female version of her husband. Pissin Geordie swamp donkey. (She'd eat a shit sarnie if it got her on the box for 10 minutes).
I'm also with Sausage on the fat people thing. All that blarting on the biggest loser cos they've eaten too much - like they've been force fed at gun point?
Also, we all have to do the weekly shop and watch the pennies, so how much does it cost to maintain a bulk like that? And then there's the weak willed bastards who can't even motivate themselves when they're on a TV show being watched by millions?
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Post by Beardy200 on Jan 27, 2012 21:16:02 GMT
I shouted at the TV when I realised this fucking Government thinks it's ok to spend ££££££££££££££££THIRTY SIX FUCKING BILLION to save 20 minutes on a train journey. Nice little earner from tax payers money for all of those private corporations that corrupt MPs have a stake in. Apparently this is the only way to deal with all the people going to London. How about STICKING A COUPLE OF EXTRA FUCKING CARRIAGES ON THE FUCKING TRAINS.????? But it's nothing to do with the given reasons is it?? What makes me shout the most is that people accept all of this shit, without question. Can i ask you for one last time as you never seem to answer me? You keep trotting out this condescending attack saying we all just accept it. Can i ask what you're doing differently to the rest of us apart from endlessly whining about it to strangers on the internet at every available opportunity? As we speak are you camped on a grassy knoll somewhere with a few bankers and politicians in your cross hairs? Are you campaigning for votes for your own political party? Are you out on the streets in the morning with your sandwich board and leaflets trying to drum up a posse? Do you wear a mackintosh and beret? Or are you like the rest of us sat on the sofa scratching our ball sacks because even though it annoys us we realise there's absolutely fuck all we can do about it ...... apart from moan your bag off of course. Just interested obviously |
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Post by stokiejoeofalsager on Jan 27, 2012 21:30:14 GMT
everyone does it i think... im worst when football is on.. like- "what the hell was that ref' and when suarez is on- "get up you greasy diving git!"
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Post by JoeinOz on Jan 28, 2012 1:35:13 GMT
I have a strange habit of doing a V sign at the telly. Even if it;'s something I like and I'm watching.
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Post by mistersausage on Jan 28, 2012 1:50:09 GMT
I thought it was only me that did the "wiiiicckes" thing? I shout at Denise Welch a lot, because for some reason she thinks she's some 53 year old bit of top totty, when in actual fact she's turned into a female version of her husband. Pissin Geordie swamp donkey. (She'd eat a shit sarnie if it got her on the box for 10 minutes). I'm also with Sausage on the fat people thing. All that blarting on the biggest loser cos they've eaten too much - like they've been force fed at gun point? Also, we all have to do the weekly shop and watch the pennies, so how much does it cost to maintain a bulk like that? And then there's the weak willed bastards who can't even motivate themselves when they're on a TV show being watched by millions? It's how they say "It's the genes, or it's the hormones, or it's the glands" ..... Well stop fucking eating them you fat cunt. |
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Post by myleftboot on Jan 28, 2012 8:18:53 GMT
Mar lady runs off in fits when I start. Usually at the news when Cameron is on  . |
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Post by emery1985 on Jan 28, 2012 9:08:56 GMT
Eamonn Holmes - Potato faced cunt.
I fully expect him to have a coronary live on TV so I do...
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Post by oldgit57 on Jan 28, 2012 9:17:29 GMT
There are certain programmes that I'm banned from watching ( Question Time is one) by the mrs, seems she's bothered about my health and all this time I thought it was the swearing!
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Post by redsaturday on Jan 28, 2012 10:17:46 GMT
couple of times my lady has come down stairs and asked "who were you on the phone too", to that i have replied "what you talking about, i've not been on the phone", so i must have been talking to the tele without realising
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Post by mistersausage on Jan 28, 2012 12:01:12 GMT
Eamonn Holmes - Potato faced cunt. I fully expect him to have a coronary live on TV so I do... To be sure to be sure he's an oirish potato faced cunter of the highest order. A table of pies would run away on spotting the fat bastard |
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Post by conzdad on Jan 28, 2012 18:56:51 GMT
I moan at everything the other half watches..........cause its mind numbing shite!!!!!!!!
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Post by Deleted on Jan 30, 2012 1:44:29 GMT
I moan at everything the other half watches..........cause its mind numbing shite!!!!!!!! I know the feeling...but it's her I shout at.  |
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Post by DannyStokie on Jan 30, 2012 2:16:27 GMT
I just take the piss out of it, if I dont like it.
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Post by wingy1964 on Jan 31, 2012 7:15:27 GMT
Every other advert at Xmas is a perfume/aftershave shown off by some semi naked pouting model running to some unshaven male model.I can't help myself but shout,"I'll buy that one that one smells nice,in a cynical sarcastic voice.
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Post by mistersausage on Jan 31, 2012 9:49:32 GMT
Foreign charity ads at tea time .... IF THE KID WAS THAT HUNGRY HE'D EAT THE FLY PIE AROUND HIS FUCKING MOUTH  |
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Post by Deleted on Jan 31, 2012 13:58:59 GMT
I tend to do sarcastic comments at most adverts... Each one in turn is equally as irritating.
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swarls
Lads'n'Dads
Dutchie Courage
Posts: 90
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Post by swarls on Jan 31, 2012 16:24:34 GMT
Foreign charity ads at tea time .... IF THE KID WAS THAT HUNGRY HE'D EAT THE FLY PIE AROUND HIS FUCKING MOUTH +1 ;D |
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Post by lommack on Jan 31, 2012 16:42:08 GMT
I once went absolutely loco when Amanda Holden told someone on one of those talent shows that "the business" perhaps wasn't for them.
"If that talentless cow ever told me I was no good at ANYTHING I would cut my own head off with a spoon"
I apparently carried on shouting similar while going up the stairs before slamming the bog door
God I hate that woman
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Post by mistersausage on Jan 31, 2012 17:06:28 GMT
I once went absolutely loco when Amanda Holden told someone on one of those talent shows that "the business" perhaps wasn't for them. "If that talentless cow ever told me I was no good at ANYTHING I would cut my own head off with a spoon" I apparently carried on shouting similar while going up the stairs before slamming the bog door God I hate that woman I'd fuck her in the mouth just to keep it shut ??? |
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