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Post by philm87 on Jan 24, 2012 20:24:11 GMT
Imagine this scenario...
A Stoke fan has been in a coma for about five years. He wakes up and as he is recovering in bed a fellow Stokie comes to visit him:
VISITOR: Look mate, I would love to tell you all about what's happened in the last few years and what I think of the bell-end that resides underneath The Cap but I really am in a rush. So to make this work for both of us, you have just three questions okay?
COMA VICTIM: Okay, I understand. Err...Do we still use the long throw?
VISITOR: Yes mate we do, people hate us for it.
COMA VICTIM: We still playing people out of position - you know, strikers on the wing, centre halves at full back?
VISITOR: Yes mate, we did exactly that this week and lost because of it.
COMA VICTIM: Do we still always beat West Brom?
VISITOR: (Tear in his eye now) Unfortunately they beat us the other day on our own patch. They passed it very prettily too.
COMA VICTIM: Oh shit, I forgot!
VISITOR: Forgot what?
COMA VICTIM: Which fucking division are we in?
VISITOR: I said three questions.
Just out of interest, what three questions would you ask?
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Post by Trouserdog on Jan 24, 2012 20:27:52 GMT
You're no blurtonboy.
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Post by LH_SCFC on Jan 24, 2012 20:29:34 GMT
How long have I been in a coma for?
Why was I in a coma?
Whats for tea?
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Post by Deleted on Jan 24, 2012 20:29:35 GMT
45 views in 5 minutes and 1 reply?
Fucking oatcake clique.
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Post by dorsetpotter on Jan 24, 2012 20:31:12 GMT
but the good news is Vincent Pericard is the best forward in Europe
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Post by RAF on Jan 24, 2012 20:36:38 GMT
I wake up from a coma most away matches after 90 mins.
H
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Post by smigchop on Jan 24, 2012 20:39:24 GMT
First things first, is Jon Walters black?
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Post by nott1 on Jan 24, 2012 23:01:38 GMT
Was it Kitsons fault?
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Post by ST5-POTTER on Jan 24, 2012 23:07:29 GMT
I've been to 10 away games including cup games do I qualify for a Colchester Ticket?
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Post by brotato on Jan 24, 2012 23:10:45 GMT
Will you have sex with me?
Is the answer to this question the same as the answer to the question above?
How many tickets do we have for Valencia?
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Post by ihaveadream on Jan 25, 2012 13:45:20 GMT
Has Lee Hendrie decided whether to stay or go
Do we stand any change of making the playoffs
Do we still hoof
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Post by Fenparkpotter on Jan 25, 2012 13:50:06 GMT
What is the current valuation on Lee Trundles house in Trentham?
Has Wayne Thomas been in Greggs recently?
Is Rudgey still on gardening leave?
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Post by Gifton on Jan 25, 2012 13:54:52 GMT
I actually was in an induced coma for part of the promotion season. When i woke up my best mate (vale fan) told me we were fourth in the league and had a few million to spend in january. Maybe it was all the drugs they had me on but i actually wept when he told me! I was so happy and just knew we were going up! Mourinho and martin foyle both got sacked while i was under too. Couldnt believe mourinho had gone! And i was also presented with mamas away shirt signed by all the lads when i was recovering too!
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Post by despotter on Jan 25, 2012 13:55:54 GMT
How long have I been in a coma for?
Why was I in a coma?Whats for tea? ;D ;D ;D ;D |
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Post by crowey on Jan 25, 2012 13:57:19 GMT
....has Smithy broken his leg again & am I still 21?
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Post by potterpaul on Jan 25, 2012 13:57:28 GMT
Does WD still have an arse?
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Post by potterpaul on Jan 25, 2012 14:00:37 GMT
Did Coggy return?
and
Was Hackett right?
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Post by crowey on Jan 25, 2012 14:02:46 GMT
...where is Ilford Dave?
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Post by ihaveadream on Jan 25, 2012 14:05:17 GMT
Has Wayne Thomas been in Greggs recently? ;D |
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Post by PotteringThrough on Jan 25, 2012 14:08:48 GMT
Imagine this scenario...
A Stoke fan has been in a coma for about five years. He wakes up and as he is recovering in bed a fellow Stokie comes to visit him:
VISITOR: Look mate, I would love to tell you all about what's happened in the last few years and what I think of the bell-end that resides underneath The Cap but I really am in a rush. So to make this work for both of us, you have just three questions okay?
COMA VICTIM: Okay, I understand. Actually no I don't. Why the hell are you visiting me but then saying you're in a rush? If you're in that much of a rush don't bother visiting me again, it's not like i'm in hospital or anything. You've really pissed me off.
Nurse, Nurse - Get rid of this imbecile. Also why am I in hospital?
And where is my right shin?
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Post by oularesarse on Jan 25, 2012 14:15:44 GMT
Did we ever sign Kanu?
What happened to them red cards?
Please tell me the Tories didn't get in?
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Post by shiftyfifty on Jan 25, 2012 14:18:39 GMT
Do people still post ridiculous threads on the Oatcake?
(bell-end that resides underneath the cap)
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Post by Deleted on Jan 25, 2012 14:20:40 GMT
1. Have we got the green man pub?
2. Has Nugent signed yet?
3. Is Bangoura still missing?
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Post by steino72 on Jan 25, 2012 14:23:35 GMT
don't you mean the legend that is.... |
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