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Post by Robo10 on Jan 23, 2004 9:32:42 GMT
A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night and have dinner with her parents. Since this is such a big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out and make love for the first time.
Well, the boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms. The pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms and sex. At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms he'd like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family pack.
The boy insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be rather busy, it being his first time and all. That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parents house and meets his girlfriend at the door. "Oh, I'm so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in!"
The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl's parents are seated. The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head. A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer, with his head down. 10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy.
Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans over and whispers to the boyfriend, "I had no idea you were this religious."
The boy turns, and whispers back, "I had no idea your father was a pharmacist."
;D ;D ;D Its the way I tell'em!! ;D ;D ;D
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Post by onewaynebiggins on Jan 23, 2004 11:00:08 GMT
very good mate!
pmsl ;D
onewaynebiggins
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Post by Pricey on Jan 23, 2004 11:52:53 GMT
Ohhhhhhhh yes!
That's a proper joke.
Rex, please don't tell anymore unless they are as good as that one!
;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
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Post by stonetezza on Jan 23, 2004 11:58:36 GMT
Bloke goes into Pizza Hut and says "Can I have a thin, crusty Supreme please ?"
Five minutes later Diana Ross walks out
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Post by Pricey on Jan 23, 2004 12:00:15 GMT
That's like a stand-up opener though isn't it? I'd rather have a build-up where you can't see the punch-line. Still good though!
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Post by cpepper on Jan 23, 2004 12:06:55 GMT
Kara-joki ;D keep em comin.
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Post by Deleted on Jan 23, 2004 15:41:23 GMT
this is THE worlds worst ever joke, but it just makes me laugh anyway for some reason
this bloke wins MILLIONS in the lottery that has rolled over for weeks & weeks. he donates £30million to Stoke (not part of the joke but added it anyway) and goes to an state agent & buys a huge condo in the far east, goes to travel agent & books himself on a 6month globetrotting tour. On his return from his holiday, he finds that his condo has been burned to a crisp, and on the top of it is a little green man. as the guy approaches, the green man turns & walks off. Plenty of money....buys a nice ancient castle in Scotland, off for a 3month cruise, and on return finds that his castle has been burned down completly, and top of it all, is the little green man. on approach, the green man simply turns and walks off. He buys himself a nice mansion, 4 week trip to the caribbean, comes back & once again his mansions been burned down. on top of it all is this little green man. the guy walks fast towards the green man, but he just turns & walks off faster. So he buys himself a nice big detached house in the suburbs, goes Turkey for 3weeks, comes back & his house has been burned down. on top of all the ash & stuff is this little green man. the guy jogs towards him, the green mans turns & jogs away. So he gets himself a semi detached in Leek, goes Costa del Sol for 2 weeks, gets back & his house is burned down. the guy jogs faster towards him, but the green man turns & jogs off fsater. Now, he gets himself a cottage in endon, goes cornwal for a week, gets back & finds his house has been burned down, and on top of it is a little green man. the guy jogs faster after the green man but he just simply turns, runs and disappears again. The guy gets himself a terrace house in birmingham, goes to the peak district for a weekend, comes back & his house has been burned down. on top of it is this little green man. the guy runs after him, the green man turns and runs off faster. with hardly any money, the guy buys himself a flat pack shed, knocks it up and goes to the shop to get a paper read after his efforts. on return, his shed has been burned down and on top is this little green man. the guy sprints after the green man but the green man turns and sprints off faster. so, absolutly skint, the guy manges get a good size box, pops it outside woolies, goes round into the alley for a pee, comes back and his box has been burned. where the few remain s of the box are, the green man is stood. the guy sprints towards him, and as the green man turns to run off, runs into woolies window, knocks himself unconcious. the guy picks him up and waits for him to regain conciousness. as he does, the guy shouts 'RIGHT YOU LITTLE B#ST#RD...HAVE YOU BEEN BURNING ALL MY HOUSES DOWN?????' the green man pauses, stares the guy in his eyes, and replies 'yes'
im sorry for this.....i really am. i'll be at the walsall match for you all to kick 10 barrels out of for wasting your time!!!!!
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Post by Admin on Jan 23, 2004 15:45:03 GMT
Okay.... erm, that's a really good one PTAP... yeah, please tell us, erm more....
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Post by no1stokie on Jan 23, 2004 17:00:20 GMT
Agree there smudge!
But the orginial one was quite good from robo.
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Post by Deleted on Jan 23, 2004 17:03:46 GMT
like i said...i'll be at the walsall match so you can beat me to a pulp! you wont need me to be pointed out...if someone getting a good hiding & you hear '...i warned you it isnt funny...' being pleaded....that'll be me in there so just join in! promise no more like that though (as there arent any)
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Post by Pricey on Jan 23, 2004 17:12:52 GMT
Is that not actually a story rather than a joke, it's actually an anti-joke I suppose (something one of my mates came up with, stating the obvious, etc) But his are much better than that though. Can't tell you any though I'm afraid, much to sick and UNPC....and also not that good thinking about it...
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Post by no1stokie on Jan 23, 2004 20:26:58 GMT
We won't be you up as long as there aren't any more and you pleed for our forgivness.
If you're not going to pleed tehn can you send me a piccie so i know who you are?
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Post by boothenendboy on Jul 24, 2008 12:39:56 GMT
its thursday you silly twat.
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Post by GRUMPY 1 on Jul 24, 2008 20:03:23 GMT
Never mind the day, have you seen the date?
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Post by Juan Kerzhoff on Jul 24, 2008 21:54:50 GMT
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: “That’s the ugliest baby that I’ve ever seen. Ugh!” The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: “The driver just insulted me!” The man says: “You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I’ll hold your monkey for you.”
ba boom tish
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Post by kkkkken on Jul 24, 2008 22:04:58 GMT
;D Fullerskillz
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Post by Deleted on Jul 24, 2008 22:08:02 GMT
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: “That’s the ugliest baby that I’ve ever seen. Ugh!” The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: “The driver just insulted me!” The man says: “You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I’ll hold your monkey for you.” ba boom tish I feel the need to make it clear that in the above the joke the baby is not black! I REPEAT THE BABY IS NOT BLACK Phew..I think you got away with it Fullerz ;D
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Post by Juan Kerzhoff on Jul 24, 2008 22:14:55 GMT
Ahh thankyou kind sir
saves me using the "oh look a squirrel" evasion trick
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Post by trend....... on Jul 24, 2008 23:18:58 GMT
fuck me that made me laugh!
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Post by Dazzlerscfc on Jul 25, 2008 1:53:25 GMT
Heard that joke over a year ago, Still worth reading though
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Post by rhodesy on Jul 25, 2008 1:55:30 GMT
That's good
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