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Post by tampon on Mar 30, 2011 20:07:02 GMT
The last text I received was ridiculous, I won't tell you who sent it or the reasons behind it but I thought it was new-thread worthy:
"Go lick a dead dogs dirty arsehole while an evil midget, dressed like a clown, rapes you from behind with a razor blade strap-on. When the midget is done making a mess of your arse, try and squeeze out a shit in front of a primary school assembly, pick up your blood coloured shit and smear it on Tom's niece's face in the front row while you scream nursery rhymes at her. Grab the ugliest fat kid, run out of the school, set it on fire in the middle of a busy street, dance around it whistling the Popeye theme tune then rolly polly to the nearest old woman and giver her a massive uppercut in her fanny, dropkick her then stamp on her boobs, give her a skin-head with your bare hands and glue the white hair to your chin with your own spunk, run back into the school shouting "santas here!" you sick son of a bitch"
What was the last text you received?
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Post by Northy on Mar 30, 2011 20:08:28 GMT
A bit more risky than yours OK, cheers
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Post by Time4aPINT on Mar 30, 2011 20:11:55 GMT
Fuckin' hell, that is quality.
the last text I got just said "pub?"
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Post by The Number 20 on Mar 30, 2011 20:12:18 GMT
Was it from boother?
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Post by PoisonedDonkey on Mar 30, 2011 20:13:26 GMT
Got my ticket
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Post by Time4aPINT on Mar 30, 2011 20:13:54 GMT
Not sure whether to use Uncle A's text as a reply or to just answer as I was going to with "yep!"
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Post by Mr Wheeze on Mar 30, 2011 20:14:20 GMT
The last text i recieved was a joke one from a work mate
"I was standing at the urinals next to a midget when i noticed him winking at me. I turned my back a bit but when i looked round he was still winking at me. I said 'whats your problem do you fucking fancy me or something?' He said 'no you bastard, your splashing my eyes!'
Not one of his greatest jokes hes ever sent!
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Post by neoisd1 on Mar 30, 2011 20:17:24 GMT
"I'm friggin myself silly thinking of you Paul, I'm soooooo fuckin wet" Thing is, I don't even know a Paul.
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Post by Orbs on Mar 30, 2011 20:21:36 GMT
The last text I received was ridiculous, I won't tell you who sent it or the reasons behind it but I thought it was new-thread worthy: "Go lick a dead dogs dirty arsehole while an evil midget, dressed like a clown, rapes you from behind with a razor blade strap-on. When the midget is done making a mess of your arse, try and squeeze out a shit in front of a primary school assembly, pick up your blood coloured shit and smear it on Tom's niece's face in the front row while you scream nursery rhymes at her. Grab the ugliest fat kid, run out of the school, set it on fire in the middle of a busy street, dance around it whistling the Popeye theme tune then rolly polly to the nearest old woman and giver her a massive uppercut in her fanny, dropkick her then stamp on her boobs, give her a skin-head with your bare hands and glue the white hair to your chin with your own spunk, run back into the school shouting "santas here!" you sick son of a bitch"What was the last text you received? That was the last text I sent.
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Post by PoisonedDonkey on Mar 30, 2011 20:22:03 GMT
The last text i recieved was a joke one from a work mate "I was standing at the urinals next to a midget when i noticed him winking at me. I turned my back a bit but when i looked round he was still winking at me. I said 'whats your problem do you fucking fancy me or something?' He said 'no you bastard, your splashing my eyes!' Not one of his greatest jokes hes ever sent! Found it quite funny myself, so now I'm intrigued... What is[/b the best joke he's ever told?
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Post by StokieMatt on Mar 30, 2011 20:24:52 GMT
people dont text me much
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Post by PotterLog on Mar 30, 2011 20:27:35 GMT
Hola, yo estoy en Rancagua! Vendi mi auto pero mi vecino me quiere demandar
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Post by PoisonedDonkey on Mar 30, 2011 20:33:51 GMT
Hola, yo estoy en Rancagua! Vendi mi auto pero mi vecino me quiere demandar Hi, I'm in Rancagua! I sold my car but I want to sue my neighbour!What. The. Fuck.
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Post by PotterLog on Mar 30, 2011 20:42:42 GMT
Hola, yo estoy en Rancagua! Vendi mi auto pero mi vecino me quiere demandar Hi, I'm in Rancagua! I sold my car but I want to sue my neighbour!What. The. Fuck. Almost! my neighbour wants to sue menot the other way round.
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Post by Pretty Little Boother on Mar 30, 2011 20:47:23 GMT
"Pub?" as well. ;D
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Post by SegaMegaDave on Mar 30, 2011 20:59:54 GMT
Sent Al out to get some shopping. Fancy a quickie?
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Post by lordherefordsknob on Mar 30, 2011 21:07:35 GMT
Walnut whips gone out fancy some gruntle.
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Post by LH_SCFC on Mar 30, 2011 21:08:28 GMT
Walnut whips gone out fancy some gruntle. What's gruntle?
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Post by french toast on Mar 30, 2011 21:15:32 GMT
My last text said you are a fucking cunt.
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Post by BoothenBooBoo on Mar 30, 2011 21:41:55 GMT
My last text said you are fucking my cunt tonight. Sorry huni, this is what it should of read... ;D
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Post by BoothenBooBoo on Mar 30, 2011 21:43:32 GMT
My last text was from my work colleague telling me what a fantastic experience it was today having fish eat the dead skin off her feet. Ewww
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Post by Deleted on Mar 30, 2011 21:48:01 GMT
''Can you do me a job down to Lowestoft & back to pick up three Huskies ?''
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Post by StokieMatt on Mar 30, 2011 21:49:13 GMT
can someone text me if i give them my number just so i can put something on here? ;D
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Post by winedelilah on Mar 30, 2011 22:02:31 GMT
"All Bankers are Wankers.." from a friend who works at Barclays ;D
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Post by french toast on Mar 30, 2011 22:05:34 GMT
My last text said you are fucking my cunt tonight. Sorry huni, this is what it should of read... ;D thats just given me an instant semi
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Post by StokieMatt on Mar 30, 2011 22:06:45 GMT
ok luke45 made my night by texting me
'you are a humongous pile of dog shit'
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Post by winedelilah on Mar 30, 2011 22:11:36 GMT
ok luke45 made my night by texting me 'you are a humongous pile of dog shit' It's nice to feel loved... ;D
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Post by ProudPotter17 on Mar 30, 2011 23:14:05 GMT
Mine was:
?
I have no texts left ;D
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Post by Carlos Dickabout on Mar 30, 2011 23:30:46 GMT
"Kozlowski and you love me bitch x"
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Post by Cupid Stunt on Mar 30, 2011 23:46:03 GMT
"Sorry, the internet died so I'm walking home x"
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