My letter to the Sunday Mirror Editor

[vestanpance]

Thought you might like to read it.

Dear Steve,

Firstly, let's get the uninteresting bit out of the way shall we? I shall not be buying your newspaper again in either it's Sunday or Daily guise. To be honest it has got progressively shitter over the past few months but Sundays effort topped the lot, all thanks to your insult wielding moron-in-chief, Michael Calvin.

His destruction of the team i support (Stoke City) and the league in which they play (The Championship) was utter insanity. It may have been more appropriate to call the piece "how to alienate entire sections of the public in one easy lesson" because clearly the intention was the same. I have never read such unbelievable assasination of a team by a man who has seen them what? once?. What made the whole thing even more laughable was you printed Johnathan Pearce's little bit on Stoke, saying that we were far from the labelled side some of the press had made us. We're either a bunch of knuckle dragging neanderthals who boot the ball 80 yards in blind hope or we are not. Can your employees at least sing from the same hymn sheet?

Presumably Mr Calvin predominantly covers Premier League games, and perhaps it's better if he does that from now on. Only i've seen Premier League games as well, and far from the jizz-fest Mr Calvin and his ilk would have us believe it is, in fact most of that is unbearably shit as well. Let's be honest, you and your journalistic band of cretins don't give a flying fuck about anyone outside the top four, and that's fine, because as far as i am concerned the feeling is utterly reciprocated. You might be well to remember that a reporters job is to report on the game, not to go on some ill-educated, half-arsed ramble about how bad the second tier of English football is, because there are hundreds of thousands of people who go to these games every single week and love their respective clubs regardless of the uninformed opines of a (no doubt) Arsenal supporting twat who, due to the "Super Sunday" showdown between the "Big Four", had nothing better to do on a Saturday that slate a side whose Manager has worked wonders, and whose players fight damned hard to get the chance to play in the Premier League, despite whatever technical deficiencies they have. There was a time when hard work and endeavour was recognised as virtues in the game of football, clearly in these Wenger-obsessed days that is no longer the case.

In short then, shove your paper up your arse and Mr Calvin if you do read this, you are absolutely right; there is a massive difference between Stoke City & Arsenal. We might actually fucking win something come the end of the season.


To be honest, i'm hoping for a job

[Deleted]

I like turtles.

ON EDIT: You spelt "assassination" incorrectly.

[ben88]

good stuff

[vestanpance]

I'll tell you something else while we are at it.

The second paragraph could have done with a full stop. Grammatically then, i think we can agree it's a bit wank.

[potter84]

Well put mate, i too e-mailed him and just told him my displeasure about the inbred bastard that is Michael Calvin.

Karma for u

[lordeffinghamhunt]

A fine letter my friend. Maybe the editor of our fanzine could print it in one of his editions. Then every week he could find the shittiest report on our side and then slag off the paper that it is in. I have hated the Mirror ever since it published those fake photos of our soldiers.

[Deleted]

Good work vestan.

[sovietonion]

Excellent!

[stokeny]

How much would you like to see that on the letter page of the Times?

[lordb]

I think we should have a monthly Oatckae MB award session

this would piss the 'rant of the month' award

[vestanpance]

I've sent in my CV as well.

In for a penny and all that. Tossmongers.

[Akinbadbuy]

Here's the one I sent below. Thanks to a few Oatcake posters who I pinched various stats off. Hope it gets the message across to that twat Michael Calvin!!


Dear Sir / Madam
Please could the following e-mail be forwarded on to your head of Sports Journalism.

Having read an article titled 'Second Rate' in the Sunday Mirror written by Michael Calvin regarding the Stoke City v Blackpool Championship match I felt I had to respond.
May I start by saying that if this article was meant to upset anyone who dares to support a team outside of the Premiership then he certainly achieved his goal.
This so called write up of the Stoke City v Blackpool match and general slating of the Championship has to be one of the most arrogant and lazy pieces of journalism I have ever had the pleasure to read.

"The Championship is a sea of mediocrity"

A bold statement to make, but one I have to admit has an element of truth. The question is why is the Championship a sea of mediocrity?
Perhaps this is due to the fact that the Premiership that you idolise has drained football as a whole of its talent by the lure of filthy lucre, and the greed and desire of a few clubs to dominate football at any cost, to bleed it dry for the greater good of themselves.
Can you not see that it is this Premiership greed that has created the anonomoly that you choose to so easily criticise.
The problems have been there for a long time, though nobody cares because football has been run for the benefit of the few ever since Sky agreed to plough vast amounts of money into the top level.
There is no real competition though, even in the Premiership. Yes teams have good seasons but they rarely keep that level of performance because the moment they have a player who looks something like half decent, along comes the big cheque book and he’s gone, usually to sit rotting in the reserves for a few years and therefore everyone loses, player, former club and the spectators. Sean Wright Phillips is a perfect example, he was a star with Manchester City now he’s a bit part player at Chelsea, is the money in the bank worth stalling your career to that extent, apparently so. Sidwell is another example, one good season with Reading and he’s gone to Chelsea again. How many times has he set boot on the park? Hardly any and he will end up having to leave to find first team football again.
It’s all very well claiming it’s the best league in the world but outside of the top four it’s as mundane and mediocre as the Championship. Many a Sunday afternoon I have dozed happily on the couch while two so called elite sides bore each other into submission.

A few stats to note -:
Wigan 28 goals in 31 matches.
West Ham 34 in 31.
Middlesbrough 28 in 31. (did you see their excuse of a performance against Cardiff?)
Newcastle 33 in 31.
Bolton 25 in 31.
Fulham 27 in 31.

The top three or four clubs aside, football in this country is medicore full stop. Our national team can't even qualify for the European Championship despite the money awash in the game.
So why don't teams like Stoke or Bristol City deserve a crack at the Premiership? As a Stoke City supporter I have had to endure years of "Second rate" football as you like to call it. I have followed my local team all my life and yet I get ridiculed by people who supposedly support Manchester United even though they were born in London and have never been within 20 miles of the arrogantly named "Theatre of Dreams".

May I also point out that Michael Calvin's comments about Bristol City were an absolute disgrace. They were a league one club last season and are challenging for a place in the Premier League. They should be given credit, not ridiculed.
In response to his question I can easily name at least half a dozen Bristol City players, but then I guess thats because I am passionate about football, go to matches, and have and interest in the game at all levels, and choose not to sit on my arse being spoonfed the premiership from a box in the corner.

"If Stoke are not good enough to dispose of Blackpool, they won't be good enough for Liverpool. The prospect of Fernando Torres meeting the likes of the musclebound Leon Cort is the stuff of comedy"
Well perhaps Fernando Torres earns slightly more than Leon Cort, due in part mainly because of greedy people like Michael Calvin and the rest of the Manchester United loving journalist leeches, football is now in such a mess that clubs like Stoke City now have to rely on people like the musclebound Leon Cort.

Did he honestly attend the match on Saturday? The article sounds like he wrote it weeks ago and was waiting for the perferct opportunity to publish it.
In his player ratings column he gave the Blackpool manager Barker 7 out of 10. Now correct me if im wrong but is Blackpool's manager not Simon Grayson?
Yet another top quality piece of journalism from a premiership focused journalist.

"The Championship is Second Division in all but name."
Do you remember the time when the Championship was the second division? It was a damn sight better for it, and in closing may I say that I would love it if our 'quasimodo' football as he likes to call it graced your precious little premier league next season, if only to ruin a few of your weekends.


Yours in the name of "Grand Slam Sunday"

[Adster]

i think the fact you got the word "jizz fest" in there says its a quality piece of work.

Karma for you

;D

[ihaveadream]

I think Calvin was in a mood at kick off as he and his ego had been forced to wait an additional 30 minutes. Probably considers himself far too important to be kept waiting.

[vestanpance]

Akinbadbuy,

That's a great letter, and considerably more intelligent than mine.

I would bestow upon you great wedges of karma, but i just gave some away for something entirely different.

Well said that man.

[Deleted]

"I would bestow upon you great wedges of karma, but i just gave some away for something entirely different."

Gave away? I never get credit for anything......

[vestanpance]

One day mate, they will all understand.

You are the wind beneath my wongs.

[realstokebloke]

Don't they run the chinese up Fegg Hayes?

[Deleted]

I'm glad you kept it in mate, nice touch ;D

www.wongsjewellers.co.uk/

[Deleted]

Just read the article online: www.sundaymirror.co.uk/sport/football/2008/03/23/stoke-1-1-blackpool-98487-20360350/

I am surprised that any national newspaper is writing anything at all about Stoke, they don't usually as a matter of policy. However, when they do is it too much to expect a little journalistic understanding of the nature of English football?

The big four would struggle to put together a single team of eleven English players between them. That is not English football, it is an expensive circus and the media are controlled by that circus. In the meantime, Stoke is one version of what English football has become because of the infatuation the press has with only four teams in the entire country.

I have been highly critical of Coates / Pulis in the past, but at least I recognise what is going on. In the main, English football is a matter of doing what you have to get in to the prem. Right now Stoke are doing what they have to better than anyone else. If we succeed, only then do we have to do what we can to stay there - which will probably involve changing a few things. Bolton did it, Charlton did it, Wigan did it - Stoke can do it.

Good post. You may have a little Karma to balance your chi

[JetBlack]

Quality Akinbadbuy. Did you get a reply?

[Deleted]

"whatever wongs are"

you must have meant wonsu which means "mortal enemy"

[Spiderman]

Vestanpance, don’t you think your rant would hold a lot more credibility if in fact you were speaking the truth? Exactly how many times have you been to a Stoke match this season? IMO to be a supporter of a club you have to actually go and support the team. It’s a bit different reading reports or listening to the TV and radio but the you’re just recycling someone else’s opinion instead of actually supporting the team and basing your opinion on what you’ve seen for yourself.
As for you reading the Daily/Sunday Mirror I had you down as a Sunday/Daily Mail reader.

[Deleted]

Only just read the article.

That is outrageous, completely ignorant and wide of the mark. Gallagher 8 out of 10 and man of the match?

I will be writing my letter of complaint now.

[vestanpance]

I like you Spiderman. I think you are great.

[Deleted]

Spiderman, I think you will find that more people agree with vestan's sentiments than your own.

He attends games and supports like any other supporter.

[Deleted]

spiderman, there are many different ways of supporting something!

I support cancer research by donating a bit of dosh monthly but in the great scale of things I am barely a drop in the ocean.

I support the NHS by regularly giving blood - is that support meaningless to the person that receives the blood?

mmmmmmmm I'm not sure my analogies work ;D

[RAF]

Let's be honest, you and your journalistic band of cretins don't give a flying fuck about anyone outside the top four, and that's fine, because as far as i am concerned the feeling is utterly reciprocated

Well said, however by writing the letter, you nullify your great point.

H

[vestanpance]

H,

You are of course, absolutely right.

[JetBlack]

Pj them boobs are fantastic, are they your ladies?