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Post by LL Cool Dave on Jul 26, 2010 21:14:27 GMT
I met a fairy today who granted me one wish. "I want to live forever," I said.
"Sorry," said the fairy, "I'm not allowed to grant wishes like that."
"Fine," I said, "I want to die when West Brom win the premier league."
"You crafty cunt!" said the fairy.
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Post by Ron Jeremy on Jul 26, 2010 21:16:33 GMT
Wasn't it "When England win the world cup" a couple of weeks ago?
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Post by salopstick on Jul 26, 2010 21:20:33 GMT
it was man city two years ago
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Post by LL Cool Dave on Jul 26, 2010 21:20:46 GMT
Fuck knows. probably.
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Post by Ron Jeremy on Jul 26, 2010 21:20:54 GMT
I picked this tart up and said "Right, back to your place for a fuck."
She said "No, I'm on my period, but you can come in for a drink if you like."
I said "What do you think I am, a fucking vampire?"
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Post by LL Cool Dave on Jul 26, 2010 21:24:28 GMT
Q. How many kids with ADHD does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. Let's go ride our bikes!!
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Post by Ron Jeremy on Jul 26, 2010 21:25:27 GMT
I've just found out that it's better NOT to close the internet page when your wife walks in and catches you wanking to porn.
Especially if you've got a photo of your daughter and all of her mates at her sixth birthday party set as your wallpaper.
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Post by Ron Jeremy on Jul 26, 2010 21:26:46 GMT
Black couple have white child.
Parents are considering calling him Tim Westwood.
;D ;D
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Post by One-Two on Jul 26, 2010 21:31:03 GMT
The biggest comic book convention in the world opened today in San Diego.
It is a week-long convention of comic books, science fiction, video games, and other forms of birth control.
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Post by Orbs on Jul 26, 2010 21:36:22 GMT
I went to the Library today and said "Have you got that self help bloke for men who have a really small penis?" She said "It's isn't in yet" I said "Yes that's the one!"  |
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