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Post by muggleton on Sept 21, 2021 7:01:59 GMT
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Post by prestwichpotter on Sept 21, 2021 7:23:45 GMT
Anyone else on here going through any kind of traumatic life experience at the moment? I'm a little reluctant to share but I've not posted as much on here as I used to over the past 10 months due to personal circumstances. A few months back I went through a really dark period and had a wake up call once I had a kind of 'what's the point in living' thought. At that time I decided I had to do something about it and have seen a therapist a few times just to get things off my chest. Now it seems that there's a tough time ahead and although I'm better prepared than last time (and sure I won't hit rock bottom again), I know it's going to be hell. Rationally I know I have a lot to be grateful for, job, kids, girlfriend, but when you have something traumatic and life changing staring you in the face it's tough keeping it together. All in all, after divorcing 4 years ago, then losing my (then) job, then losing all my money, then having to switch off my mothers life support, it's been a total up and down rollercoaster ride of emotions. Anyway, if anything, I guess this post may comfort others who are going through a tough period, in that they're not alone. So...as expected, the last 2 years have been hell. Especially the last few months, hence my lack of time on here. My best friend, my boys mother, and the most important person in my life (other than the kids) just passed away at 41 years of age, in my arms at home. It was a cruel, slow, painful, drawn out death. Totally undeserved of such an amazing selfless person who's loved by everyone who knows her. In the end her death was how she wanted it to be. To pass away with me, her mother and her closest friends beside her. But it wasn't easy and she took the hard way to make it happen. The funeral is tomorrow. It's hell now and I've been a wreck for the past days, but I will survive, I won't give up on life.. ..and neither should anyone on here. This post somehow passed me by. So sorry for your loss fella…..
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Post by Orbs on Sept 21, 2021 21:46:07 GMT
Let us know mate. What’s it supposed to do/be for?
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Post by Orbs on Sept 21, 2021 21:52:29 GMT
I always find when things are going to shit and I feel down that I start singing the Big Break theme song in my head (out loud if nobody is around, can't sing for shit!!). "It's only a game soooo put up a real good fight, I'm gonna be snookering you tonight" Helps me anyway. Good luck. Written and performed by none other than Captain Sensible (of The Dammed fame) no less. I once convinced a young impressionable student* to come back to mine** and be sexually appalling with me by using the line "I'm gonna be snookering you tonight". The most impressive thing about this however is that she was far too young to remember Davidson & Virgo's prime time BBC One snooker-based antics - she probably just thought I was a bit of a card/autistic and went "fuck it, I'll do him anyway" 😂 *I was a student myself (albeit a slightly older one) so it wasn't anything untoward. **which was in Sheffield, which we all know is the home of snooker (although I'm not sure if this had any bearing on the situation). It’s actually embarrassing that no one has asked if you pocketed the pink and/or screwed back for a tricky brown. Just what exactly is the board coming to? You need to liven yourselves up a tell thee. Liven yourselves up.
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Post by mickeythemaestro on Sept 22, 2021 8:59:35 GMT
Written and performed by none other than Captain Sensible (of The Dammed fame) no less. I once convinced a young impressionable student* to come back to mine** and be sexually appalling with me by using the line "I'm gonna be snookering you tonight". The most impressive thing about this however is that she was far too young to remember Davidson & Virgo's prime time BBC One snooker-based antics - she probably just thought I was a bit of a card/autistic and went "fuck it, I'll do him anyway" 😂 *I was a student myself (albeit a slightly older one) so it wasn't anything untoward. **which was in Sheffield, which we all know is the home of snooker (although I'm not sure if this had any bearing on the situation). It’s actually embarrassing that no one has asked if you pocketed the pink and/or screwed back for a tricky brown. Just what exactly is the board coming to? You need to liven yourselves up a tell thee. Liven yourselves up. Well I thought about it but was fearful of being cancelled for inappropriate bigotry Anyways I am glad this thread is back to the top. Don't suffer in silence people, talk to a mate and find help.
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Post by muggleton on Sept 22, 2021 11:48:23 GMT
Got back to running this week after a couple of months in a rut and immediately felt better and slept better.
Exercise isn't a panacea, but it's the most useful practical change I can make.
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Post by mickeythemaestro on Sept 22, 2021 12:52:07 GMT
Got back to running this week after a couple of months in a rut and immediately felt better and slept better. Exercise isn't a panacea, but it's the most useful practical change I can make. Exercise is 100% tonic for mental well being. When I first left Uni I found myself riddled with anxiety and was developing a fear of crowds and social situations. A very nice elderly doctor sat me down and asked me all sorts of questions to get to know me and understand my habits and background. He ended by saying, I could prescribe you some pills that will probably make you feel better, but what you need to do my son is get off your fat arse and start exercising.What he had identified, by asking me all sorts of (what I thought were) innocuous questions, that had completely passed me by, was that at school I was a keen sportsman and was always out doing something fitness wise. It was a life changing moment and I actually sat there and cried like a baby, felt like an idiot, but will never forget the kindness on his face. I am so grateful to that kindly doctor and I have never looked back. Even today I find if I go a few days without exercising I feel myself slipping backwards and I think of him. Exercise is vital, however you do it, walking, running, gym, weights, football with your mates, whatever, just get out there and do something. We also need more doctors like that great man.
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Post by danceswithclams on Sept 22, 2021 12:56:56 GMT
Exercise is 100% tonic for mental well being. When I first left Uni I found myself riddled with anxiety and was developing a fear of crowds and social situations. A very nice elderly doctor sat me down and asked me all sorts of questions to get to know me and understand my habits and background. He ended by saying, I could prescribe you some pills that will probably make you feel better, but what you need to do my son is get off your fat arse and start exercising.What he had identified, by asking me all sorts of (what I thought were) innocuous questions, that had completely passed me by, was that at school I was a keen sportsman and was always out doing something fitness wise. It was a life changing moment and I actually sat there and cried like a baby, felt like an idiot, but will never forget the kindness on his face. I am so grateful to that kindly doctor and I have never looked back. Even today I find if I go a few days without exercising I feel myself slipping backwards and I think of him. Exercise is vital, however you do it, walking, running, gym, weights, football with your mates, whatever, just get out there and do something. We also need more doctors like that great man. Always said that Big H was massively misunderstood.
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Post by mickeythemaestro on Sept 22, 2021 13:03:05 GMT
Exercise is 100% tonic for mental well being. When I first left Uni I found myself riddled with anxiety and was developing a fear of crowds and social situations. A very nice elderly doctor sat me down and asked me all sorts of questions to get to know me and understand my habits and background. He ended by saying, I could prescribe you some pills that will probably make you feel better, but what you need to do my son is get off your fat arse and start exercising.What he had identified, by asking me all sorts of (what I thought were) innocuous questions, that had completely passed me by, was that at school I was a keen sportsman and was always out doing something fitness wise. It was a life changing moment and I actually sat there and cried like a baby, felt like an idiot, but will never forget the kindness on his face. I am so grateful to that kindly doctor and I have never looked back. Even today I find if I go a few days without exercising I feel myself slipping backwards and I think of him. Exercise is vital, however you do it, walking, running, gym, weights, football with your mates, whatever, just get out there and do something. We also need more doctors like that great man. Always said that Big H was massively misunderstood. thankfully it wasn't him.
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Post by muggleton on Sept 22, 2021 17:55:13 GMT
Got back to running this week after a couple of months in a rut and immediately felt better and slept better. Exercise isn't a panacea, but it's the most useful practical change I can make. Exercise is 100% tonic for mental well being. When I first left Uni I found myself riddled with anxiety and was developing a fear of crowds and social situations. A very nice elderly doctor sat me down and asked me all sorts of questions to get to know me and understand my habits and background. He ended by saying, I could prescribe you some pills that will probably make you feel better, but what you need to do my son is get off your fat arse and start exercising.What he had identified, by asking me all sorts of (what I thought were) innocuous questions, that had completely passed me by, was that at school I was a keen sportsman and was always out doing something fitness wise. It was a life changing moment and I actually sat there and cried like a baby, felt like an idiot, but will never forget the kindness on his face. I am so grateful to that kindly doctor and I have never looked back. Even today I find if I go a few days without exercising I feel myself slipping backwards and I think of him. Exercise is vital, however you do it, walking, running, gym, weights, football with your mates, whatever, just get out there and do something. We also need more doctors like that great man. It's definitely the best tool I have for getting out if a rut or maintaining decent MH. When you're struggling its hard to remember this, but as you say: get out and do *something* and you'll benefit from it. I ran again today (3rd times in 5 days after fuck all for 3 months) and feel much better for it. Onward.
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Post by thehartshillbadger on Sept 22, 2021 17:57:45 GMT
Good effort Mugs and thanks all for keeping the thread going. It’s certainly given me a few ideas for when things get a bit wank👍🏻
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Post by muggleton on Sept 22, 2021 18:44:58 GMT
Good effort Mugs and thanks all for keeping the thread going. It’s certainly given me a few ideas for when things get a bit wank👍🏻 Cheers mate. I'm actually better at digging myself out of a rut than I am at maintaining genuinely good MH longterm. The real key is to find a sustainable routine you'll stick with for years, and I've never quite cracked that. But I've had a better week than last, so that'll do. Good luck everyone.
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Post by Orbs on Sept 26, 2021 18:38:44 GMT
Good effort Mugs and thanks all for keeping the thread going. It’s certainly given me a few ideas for when things get a bit wank👍🏻 Cheers mate. I'm actually better at digging myself out of a rut than I am at maintaining genuinely good MH longterm. The real key is to find a sustainable routine you'll stick with for years, and I've never quite cracked that. But I've had a better week than last, so that'll do. Good luck everyone. How's the running going Muggs?
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Post by muggleton on Oct 2, 2021 9:20:22 GMT
Cheers mate. I'm actually better at digging myself out of a rut than I am at maintaining genuinely good MH longterm. The real key is to find a sustainable routine you'll stick with for years, and I've never quite cracked that. But I've had a better week than last, so that'll do. Good luck everyone. How's the running going Muggs? Good, thanks mate. Fitness took a battering over the summer due to too many pints, but I'm back in the routine of about 3 x 4 mile runs a week. These are *very* gentle affairs along the canal as I'm not fit for the hills yet, but making noticable progress (only been back at it a fortnight) and just getting them done is the achievement. No booze in the week, and no solo drinking is keeping me on the straight and narrow, so I've earnt a few pints with mates later today. How're you getting on yourself? Have a good Saturday lads.
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Post by Orbs on Oct 2, 2021 14:37:57 GMT
How's the running going Muggs? Good, thanks mate. Fitness took a battering over the summer due to too many pints, but I'm back in the routine of about 3 x 4 mile runs a week. These are *very* gentle affairs along the canal as I'm not fit for the hills yet, but making noticable progress (only been back at it a fortnight) and just getting them done is the achievement. No booze in the week, and no solo drinking is keeping me on the straight and narrow, so I've earnt a few pints with mates later today. How're you getting on yourself? Have a good Saturday lads. All good Muggers. Good effort with the running too. Is there someone you can run with? It’s certainly made me go out more knowing my mate was waiting for me and I didn’t want to let him down. I don’t really enjoy it but feel much better for doing it. I don’t drink the day before running either so that’s 2-3 days alcohol free. Sounds like you’re doing all the right things. 👍🏻 Not too happy about the darker mornings and nights drawing in but never mind. Hang in there lads.
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Post by maxplonk on Oct 10, 2021 16:57:40 GMT
Today is World Mental Health Day.
Remember that there is always hope, even when your brain tells you there isn't.
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Post by Orbs on Oct 10, 2021 17:25:29 GMT
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Post by Orbs on Oct 25, 2021 13:42:33 GMT
Bump.
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Post by mickeythemaestro on Oct 25, 2021 15:27:07 GMT
Should be pinned to the top of the board in my humble opinion.
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Post by Goonie on Oct 26, 2021 7:26:01 GMT
Here's a podcast by a US neuroscientist, very informative and spends a long time going through the scientific rationale but in the end comes up with some great tips open.spotify.com/episode/7lR4jC90jef8ivbXEfOdYP?si=ANragr5bQkykkrIWnI-1YA&utm_source=copy-link (spoiler alert: regular exercise, at least 5 minutes every morning performing breathing exercises or meditation will change your stress response over a 28 day trial period) Others available on sleep, depression etc If you want to understand the minutiae of how and why it's well worth a listen (especially the Sapolski episode) with scientifically proven tips at the end It's also on YouTube for the more visual among us
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Post by partickpotter on Oct 26, 2021 8:19:48 GMT
Just finished reading a book, The Black Ridge, that puts into words so much better than I could ever do, the wonders of the Cuillin Ridge on Skye.
Anyway, an expression in the book crops up that has been in my mind for a good while…
Make New Memories
It’s a great thought. There are so many amazing things to experience.
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Post by FbrgVaStkFan on Nov 25, 2021 1:50:22 GMT
I took up regular walking at the beginning of this year, got a fit-bit, walking shoes, etc. Really enjoying it--I used to go hiking a few years ago, but I always needed to drive somewhere first and prepare. I also picked up a pair of ear buds so now I'm listening to podcasts and books on tape stuff while walking. Along with riding the motorcycle I find that walking really clears the mind and always makes me feel much better afterwards. Should have done this last year instead of increasing my booze intake.
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Post by flea79 on Nov 25, 2021 14:54:53 GMT
After a tumultuous few years and various sad incidents things all got too much a few months back and a family row sent me spiralling south.
After a few weeks of basic cbt over the phone I have been referred to high intensity face to face cbt to finally work through the crap in my head.
Ask for help don’t suffer silently
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Post by thehartshillbadger on Nov 29, 2021 19:10:25 GMT
After a tumultuous few years and various sad incidents things all got too much a few months back and a family row sent me spiralling south. After a few weeks of basic cbt over the phone I have been referred to high intensity face to face cbt to finally work through the crap in my head. Ask for help don’t suffer silently All the best mate👍🏻
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Post by flea79 on Nov 29, 2021 19:12:16 GMT
After a tumultuous few years and various sad incidents things all got too much a few months back and a family row sent me spiralling south. After a few weeks of basic cbt over the phone I have been referred to high intensity face to face cbt to finally work through the crap in my head. Ask for help don’t suffer silently All the best mate👍🏻 Ta mate I’m not considering anything daft and never have to be clear, just things all got on top of me and my wife finally put her foot down and made me get some help with things to try and get me back to where I should be! Stay safe everybody
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Post by thehartshillbadger on Nov 29, 2021 19:21:24 GMT
So as some on here know, in the last couple of weeks I’ve split with my lady of 10 years. Came out of the blue really although I knew summat was up and had booked a meal out for us to thrash a few things out but the night before she burst into tears and said she was leaving. This is my 3rd long term relationship that’s ended up in a break up, I don’t think marriage is for me🤣( we’d been engaged since December 2019 and had to cancel our wedding in America twice due to Covid) Anyway I guess what I’m getting at, and what always comes to mind for me is there are millions upon millions of people in this world in a much worse position than us Jammy sods in the U.K. so the immediate reaction is onwards and upwards. Life changes so quickly that one devastating blow can be equalled out by a big positive at the drop of a hat. I have a well paid job, a house and a beautiful daughter so I will not let this latest setback get to me one bit. Hopefully😉
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Post by thehartshillbadger on Nov 29, 2021 19:52:52 GMT
Ta mate I’m not considering anything daft and never have to be clear, just things all got on top of me and my wife finally put her foot down and made me get some help with things to try and get me back to where I should be! Stay safe everybody Good stuff mate, thankfully you’ve got a wife who cares about your well being. She’s a rock👍🏻
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Post by cobhamstokey on Nov 29, 2021 20:34:48 GMT
So as some on here know, in the last couple of weeks I’ve split with my lady of 10 years. Came out of the blue really although I knew summat was up and had booked a meal out for us to thrash a few things out but the night before she burst into tears and said she was leaving. This is my 3rd long term relationship that’s ended up in a break up, I don’t think marriage is for me🤣( we’d been engaged since December 2019 and had to cancel our wedding in America twice due to Covid) Anyway I guess what I’m getting at, and what always comes to mind for me is there are millions upon millions of people in this world in a much worse position than us Jammy sods in the U.K. so the immediate reaction is onwards and upwards. Life changes so quickly that one devastating blow can be equalled out by a big positive at the drop of a hat. I have a well paid job, a house and a beautiful daughter so I will not let this latest setback get to me one bit. Hopefully😉 That’s the spirit mate though never be afraid to admit if your having a bad day / week. I had some counselling a few years back and it worked wonders. Though it’s not the solution it certainly helps to offload even if it’s to someone on here.
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Post by partickpotter on Nov 29, 2021 21:27:52 GMT
So as some on here know, in the last couple of weeks I’ve split with my lady of 10 years. Came out of the blue really although I knew summat was up and had booked a meal out for us to thrash a few things out but the night before she burst into tears and said she was leaving. This is my 3rd long term relationship that’s ended up in a break up, I don’t think marriage is for me🤣( we’d been engaged since December 2019 and had to cancel our wedding in America twice due to Covid) Anyway I guess what I’m getting at, and what always comes to mind for me is there are millions upon millions of people in this world in a much worse position than us Jammy sods in the U.K. so the immediate reaction is onwards and upwards. Life changes so quickly that one devastating blow can be equalled out by a big positive at the drop of a hat. I have a well paid job, a house and a beautiful daughter so I will not let this latest setback get to me one bit. Hopefully😉 So sorry to hear this. Best wishes fella.
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Post by thehartshillbadger on Nov 29, 2021 21:32:12 GMT
So as some on here know, in the last couple of weeks I’ve split with my lady of 10 years. Came out of the blue really although I knew summat was up and had booked a meal out for us to thrash a few things out but the night before she burst into tears and said she was leaving. This is my 3rd long term relationship that’s ended up in a break up, I don’t think marriage is for me🤣( we’d been engaged since December 2019 and had to cancel our wedding in America twice due to Covid) Anyway I guess what I’m getting at, and what always comes to mind for me is there are millions upon millions of people in this world in a much worse position than us Jammy sods in the U.K. so the immediate reaction is onwards and upwards. Life changes so quickly that one devastating blow can be equalled out by a big positive at the drop of a hat. I have a well paid job, a house and a beautiful daughter so I will not let this latest setback get to me one bit. Hopefully😉 So sorry to hear this. Best wishes fella. Thanks Partick👍🏻 I’ll be fine😉
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