shame you coudnt have kept him until the Dec10th . oh well enjoy girls and boys :
The announcement has been made that Stoke have finally sacked their manager. Our interviewer finds Jones in combative but reflective mood in his beautiful new home in the village of Mammon.
" Nathan, my commiserations. Do you feel the board acted presumptuously?"
"Absolutely amazed I lasted this long to be honest Gabby.I mean really? 3 wins out of 30 and I get a vote of confidence! I should have been sitting on a beach counting my compo months ago."
"Some will say you were rewarded for failure"
"I'm aware of the paradox Gabby. There's a direct correlation in football between how useless you can be and how much, how early and how often you can trouser the lolly and move on. I call it the Mourinho paradigm."
"Do you feel the fans lost patience in the end"
" To be fair most of them had sussed me by the end of March. Did you read the comments on the Fruitcake fanzine? Bloody cheek, called me a snake oil salesman. Fred West has had better press than me. The rest of them I gave some tosh about 9 year plans,doing things 'the Stoke Way' and then bought some time with my Tarzan routine. Special mention for some old player, Sir Stanley Ogden or something and I thought they were going to extend my contract."
" So, no regrets then?"
Regrets! I'll say so. Have you seen my arse? I went and got another tattoo. Had ST stamped on my left buttock last week and was due back today to have KE put on the right one. I was going to unveil it against West Brom on Sky Super Duper Monday. Looks bloody ridiculous now on just one side. I'll have to manage St Mirren or get canonized if I want to finish it. Not that I'm likely to get another job till the heat dies down"
"Rumour has it Nathan that the Franchise are after you and their manager may be sacked this week"
" You're joking, really? Mange tout! Funnily enough Chitty Chitty Bang Bang is my most favouritest film. Loved their Chairman in it! Bletchley twinned with Barcelona! Concrete cows are in my blood.... Where's that phone, Harty, Del Boy here, don't book that holiday yet..This time next year...
Nb. With apologies to Sir Stanley Matthews. During his 2 terms at Stoke the' Wizard of the Dribble' broke many records and has a stand named after him and a statue at the ground.
The legacy of the 'Wizard of the Drivel', however despite also breaking many long standing records during his brief tenureship may not be judged by history so benignly.
