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Post by foxysgloves on Jan 22, 2019 14:38:44 GMT
A lad I went to matches with sang ‘Cranston’ for a whole season.
Before realizing it was ‘Go on Stoke’.
And Cranson not Cranston.
Two for the price of one!
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Post by thanksjon on Jan 22, 2019 16:39:45 GMT
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Post by vermelho on Jan 22, 2019 18:49:56 GMT
That’s the whole message. Whilst this is funny and I did get a good Sunday night giggle out of it, I kind of get it. When I used to play football at school, I thought everyone was shouting the name of their new favourite striker 'Lowenard' when lining up a cross or shot, turns out they were shouting "low and hard". I felt like a right idiot when the penny finally dropped. People who still call Charlie Adam "Adams", now there's no excuse for that. I might get it if it was 1985! Does he only get his football info from word if mouth? Never seen the back of his shirt, a newspaper or this new thing called the Internet... |
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Post by Clayton Wood on Jan 22, 2019 19:02:39 GMT
They can see no reasons 'Cuz there are no reasons What reasons do you need? |
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Post by leicspotter on Jan 22, 2019 20:13:05 GMT
No, that's RAF  |
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Post by boothenconvert on Jan 22, 2019 21:49:03 GMT
I have laughed so loud at these last four pages. What a brilliant thread! 😂😂😂
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Post by Staffsoatcake on Jan 22, 2019 22:32:28 GMT
When I first came to live in Ireland,malady tried to get me to turn,so she dragged me along to to the Catholic Chapel,during the service you shake hands with the ones nearest and say Peace be with you,for yonks I was saying pleased to meet you.
Malady still ain't got me to turn Catholic after 47 years,so she has given up.
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Post by robinplumpton on Jan 22, 2019 22:34:47 GMT
I spent my first two years watching Stoke City singing “I want to be in that cupboard”. My older brother kindly never told me I was singing the wrong words. I put my stick in her hand until I was about 14 or 15 My boys are nine and eleven. I told them the same thing about the stick when we went to their first game a few years ago. Now they sing that bit as loud as they can and always, always make sure they give me a sardonic smile, their mother turns away, but secretly, deep down, when we get beyond the embarrassment...... I am so proud  |
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Post by cerebralstokie on Jan 22, 2019 23:24:48 GMT
When I was in Primary School, one pupil thought that a suburb of Longton was Sanfer Dill. As a teacher I came across a place in Canada which a student thought was Winnie Peg. Also a pest in Africa called a sexy fly. One wonders what it got up to!
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Post by darksideofthemoon on Jan 22, 2019 23:52:28 GMT
"There's a bathroom on the right"
Bad Moon Rising (Credence)
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Post by Deleted on Jan 22, 2019 23:56:10 GMT
Back in the 50s I remember a chap calling the iPhone the myphone!
Crazy I know. 😀
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Post by Gifton on Jan 23, 2019 0:02:52 GMT
An old mate of mine, used to think the penultimate line in the "Boothen Boys" was "if you are a Vale fan, sitting by your dad"
When I was a kid I thought my mum's favourite books were written by Agger the Christie.
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Post by Deleted on Jan 23, 2019 0:06:05 GMT
Myate used to think , I know a song that will get on your nerves was, I know a thong that will get on your nerves! 😀
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Post by Gifton on Jan 23, 2019 0:12:07 GMT
Also, about a decade ago, when my dad was contemplating joining social media, he asked my then girlfriend "is your dad on my-face?"
He's never been allowed to forget it!!
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Post by StatesideStokie on Jan 23, 2019 1:10:14 GMT
When I was still living in Stoke, I took my lad to his first game at the Brit, probably around 2005-06 season. He was about five at the time, and suddenly the whole stadium burst into a rendition of "Time to go...". I watch my lad taking it all in, and a few verses in, he joins in. So I'm watching and listening to him to see how far he's going to go with it...."Time to go, time to go....time to go, time to go, time to go...." Finally we get to the money shot and he goes "Time to go oh oh oh oh, FOUR O'CLOCK!"
I absolutely pissed myself and I'm not sure if it was more out of relief that he wasn't going to go home and sing the old lady his new song, or just the pure innocence of it. It's still a bit of an in-joke with him to this day. He's almost 19 now, and if we're out and about and he encounters somebody being a bit of a dick, he'll just give me a glance and a grin and say "four o'clock".
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Post by Deleted on Jan 23, 2019 6:59:12 GMT
When I was still living in Stoke, I took my lad to his first game at the Brit, probably around 2005-06 season. He was about five at the time, and suddenly the whole stadium burst into a rendition of "Time to go...". I watch my lad taking it all in, and a few verses in, he joins in. So I'm watching and listening to him to see how far he's going to go with it...."Time to go, time to go....time to go, time to go, time to go...." Finally we get to the money shot and he goes "Time to go oh oh oh oh, FOUR O'CLOCK!" I absolutely pissed myself and I'm not sure if it was more out of relief that he wasn't going to go home and sing the old lady his new song, or just the pure innocence of it. It's still a bit of an in-joke with him to this day. He's almost 19 now, and if we're out and about and he encounters somebody being a bit of a dick, he'll just give me a glance and a grin and say "four o'clock". That is tremendous |
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Post by Sven on Jan 23, 2019 7:32:08 GMT
My eldest lad came home from school once ( he was prob about 6ish I guess, 20 now) we were asking him what he had been learning at school. "About insects" he said. Oh right any in particular was my reply, "pids" he said. Pids? What are pids I said. "Tiny little insects" he said. Think you might have that wrong we said, "no it's a pid" he said. We clicked in several minutes later he was on about aphids 😂😂.
He still gets shit about it
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Post by Lakeland Potter on Jan 23, 2019 18:25:38 GMT
I thought as a kid that a "tuit" was an important item related to household repairs which was missing from my dad's tool bag. This is because I often heard him say to my mum that he would do some bit of DIY she had asked him to do "as soon as I get a round tuit."  |
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Post by mattythestokie on Jan 23, 2019 18:32:45 GMT
'You're going win 4-4' as opposed to 'You're gonna win fuck all'
Started to make a lot more sense when it eventually clicked
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Post by linfitstokie on Jan 23, 2019 19:00:25 GMT
when my brother got married before they met the vicar his bird saw epiphany on the notice board and asked what epi fanny meant
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Post by pretzel on Jan 23, 2019 19:57:11 GMT
Someone I know was in Belfast for a while and went into Boots to buy some kind of remedy for the stinking cold she was coming down with. Having purchased the strongest thing available from the pharmacists counter, she took out her purse to pay, upon which, the pharmacist looked her in the eye and said in a strong NI accent, "are you a bit scared". She thought this a bit strange and just shrugged her shoulders but the pharmacist frowned and repeated "are you a bit scared". The poor girl was a bit flustered and was thinking of dong a runner until a friendly native in the queue tapped her on the shoulder and said very slowly... "she's asking if you have a Boots card" |
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Post by PotterLog on Jan 23, 2019 20:37:48 GMT
'You're going win 4-4' as opposed to 'You're gonna win fuck all' Started to make a lot more sense when it eventually clicked That’s just reminded me that a mate of mine at school absolutely swore blind that the last line of the “we hate port vale and we hate port vale” song was “we are the Vale, IT IS!” - even when challenged and corrected and laughed at, and even when the song is about hating Port Vale and is littered with the word “hate” and his alternative made no sense whatsoever. |
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Post by bojanwonder on Jan 23, 2019 20:55:42 GMT
I have laughed so loud at these last four pages. What a brilliant thread! 😂😂😂 Humour has been missing from this board for some time now, understandably. So glad it's back. Can't wait to see if Benny Kafobe scores on Saturday! |
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Post by hotterpotter on Jan 23, 2019 21:28:35 GMT
One of mine (among many many others) was "When Smokey sings, I hear violence". It made sense as I thought Smokey singing was an analogy for the mountain "Old Smokey" erupting... Oh dear.  |
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Post by pmjh on Jan 23, 2019 22:02:00 GMT
Bloke who worked with me dad rang him up and said he was lost in Wales. Dad said can you see any road signs to which he replied I'm near a place called Dangergoslow (Danger go slow)
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Post by pmjh on Jan 23, 2019 22:05:27 GMT
The wife was watching catchphrase when a picture of a hand with a job in it came up. Put a smile on my face when she shouted out 'hand Job'
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Post by Deleted on Jan 24, 2019 0:15:22 GMT
A mate of mine is a cattle farmer for the family business, so naturally in the 80’s / 90’s his dad used to watch the weather on tv religiously (no internet of course, and the newspaper was fairly unreliable).
So, 2 or 3 times a day the family would get hushed when it came on so he could listen to the forecast.
My mate was in his youth, and Crowded House brought out a song and he thought the lyrics were “everywhere you go, always TAPE the weather”
He thought that if people went out, they’d record the weather forecast on the old VCR so they didn’t miss it. And someone wrote a song about it to remind people, as sort of a public service!
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Post by stayingupfor Sexualchocolate on Jan 24, 2019 5:52:30 GMT
I take my boy child to the match with me and for the last couple of seasons in the prem whenever we had the misfortune of having Atkinson as the ref I had to sing "Atkinson..quack quack quack" with said boy child so he wouldn't join in with the "correct " lyrics. Christ knows what the folks around must have thought
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Post by stiggerstackle on Jan 24, 2019 6:05:38 GMT
A girl at our place is absolutely mystified by the rival company that we’ve lost loads of staff to - you may have heard of them, they’re called ‘Pastures New’.
It’s been going on for years and nobody has the heart to tell her...
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Post by Deleted on Jan 24, 2019 7:32:20 GMT
When we played Blackpool, and after a rousing rendition of “ Blackpool’s A shit hole, I’d rather go Rhyl” the young lad who sat next to us In the family stand turned to his dad and said “Dad, what’s a shittle?
Made more than a few around us chuckle, and with baited breath as we waited for the answer.
His dad took the easy option and said “I’ll explain later” no doubt hoping his lad would forget to ask the question!
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