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Post by maxplonk on Nov 17, 2024 8:26:56 GMT
I passed my genetic engineering exam with flying koalas.
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Post by Mendicant on Nov 17, 2024 8:47:03 GMT
An oldie but a goldie  Where did Saddam Hussain keep his CD's? In Iraq When does Saddam Hussain have his tea break? When Tariq Aziz. |
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Post by pretzel on Nov 19, 2024 18:39:53 GMT
Be careful out there today people
It snowed last night...
8:00 am: I made a snowman.
8:10 - A feminist passed by and asked me why I didn't make a snow woman.
8:15 - So, I made a snow woman.
8:17 - My feminist neighbour complained about the snow woman's voluptuous chest saying it objectified snow women everywhere.
8:20 - The gay couple living nearby threw a hissy fit and moaned it could have been two snow men instead.
8:22 - The transgender man..women...person asked why I didn't just make one snow person with detachable parts.
8:25 - The vegans at the end of the lane complained about the carrot nose, as veggies are food and not to decorate snow figures with.
8:28 - I was being called a racist because the snow couple is white.
8:31 - The middle eastern gent across the road demanded the snow woman be covered up .
8:40 - The Police arrived saying someone had been offended.
8:42 - The feminist neighbour complained again that the broomstick of the snow woman needed to be removed because it depicted women in a domestic role.
8:43 - The council equality officer arrived and threatened me with eviction.
8:45 - TV news crew from BBC showed up. I was asked if I know the difference between snowmen and snow-women? I replied "Snowballs" and am now called a sexist.
9:00 - I was on the News as a suspected terrorist, racist, homophobe sensibility offender, bent on stirring up trouble during difficult weather.
9:10 - I was asked if I have any accomplices. My children were taken by social services.
9:15 - Far left protesters offended by everything marched down the street demanding for me to be arrested.
In an hour it will all be melted
Moral:
There is no moral to this story. It is what we have become, all because of snowflakes
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Post by thebasfordhedgehog on Nov 22, 2024 8:16:34 GMT
Marvin Gaye used to keep a sheep in my vineyard. He’d herd it through the grapevine.
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Post by Clayton Wood on Nov 22, 2024 10:07:02 GMT
My son said, “Dad, I don’t understand the difference between a diameter and a radius.” Me: That’s easy. It’s a radius. (If you don't get it at first you're as thick as I am  ) |
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Post by backintheday on Nov 22, 2024 22:56:44 GMT
Be careful out there today people It snowed last night... 8:00 am: I made a snowman. 8:10 - A feminist passed by and asked me why I didn't make a snow woman. 8:15 - So, I made a snow woman. 8:17 - My feminist neighbour complained about the snow woman's voluptuous chest saying it objectified snow women everywhere. 8:20 - The gay couple living nearby threw a hissy fit and moaned it could have been two snow men instead. 8:22 - The transgender man..women...person asked why I didn't just make one snow person with detachable parts. 8:25 - The vegans at the end of the lane complained about the carrot nose, as veggies are food and not to decorate snow figures with. 8:28 - I was being called a racist because the snow couple is white. 8:31 - The middle eastern gent across the road demanded the snow woman be covered up . 8:40 - The Police arrived saying someone had been offended. 8:42 - The feminist neighbour complained again that the broomstick of the snow woman needed to be removed because it depicted women in a domestic role. 8:43 - The council equality officer arrived and threatened me with eviction. 8:45 - TV news crew from BBC showed up. I was asked if I know the difference between snowmen and snow-women? I replied "Snowballs" and am now called a sexist. 9:00 - I was on the News as a suspected terrorist, racist, homophobe sensibility offender, bent on stirring up trouble during difficult weather. 9:10 - I was asked if I have any accomplices. My children were taken by social services. 9:15 - Far left protesters offended by everything marched down the street demanding for me to be arrested. In an hour it will all be melted Moral: There is no moral to this story. It is what we have become, all because of snowflakes Outstanding sir take bow |
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Post by pretzel on Nov 22, 2024 23:00:38 GMT
Be careful out there today people It snowed last night... 8:00 am: I made a snowman. 8:10 - A feminist passed by and asked me why I didn't make a snow woman. 8:15 - So, I made a snow woman. 8:17 - My feminist neighbour complained about the snow woman's voluptuous chest saying it objectified snow women everywhere. 8:20 - The gay couple living nearby threw a hissy fit and moaned it could have been two snow men instead. 8:22 - The transgender man..women...person asked why I didn't just make one snow person with detachable parts. 8:25 - The vegans at the end of the lane complained about the carrot nose, as veggies are food and not to decorate snow figures with. 8:28 - I was being called a racist because the snow couple is white. 8:31 - The middle eastern gent across the road demanded the snow woman be covered up . 8:40 - The Police arrived saying someone had been offended. 8:42 - The feminist neighbour complained again that the broomstick of the snow woman needed to be removed because it depicted women in a domestic role. 8:43 - The council equality officer arrived and threatened me with eviction. 8:45 - TV news crew from BBC showed up. I was asked if I know the difference between snowmen and snow-women? I replied "Snowballs" and am now called a sexist. 9:00 - I was on the News as a suspected terrorist, racist, homophobe sensibility offender, bent on stirring up trouble during difficult weather. 9:10 - I was asked if I have any accomplices. My children were taken by social services. 9:15 - Far left protesters offended by everything marched down the street demanding for me to be arrested. In an hour it will all be melted Moral: There is no moral to this story. It is what we have become, all because of snowflakes Outstanding sir take bow Can't take the credit for that mate, it's just a copy n paste job  |
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Post by Pedropotter on Nov 25, 2024 7:22:57 GMT
My son said, “Dad, I don’t understand the difference between a diameter and a radius.” Me: That’s easy. It’s a radius. (If you don't get it at first you're as thick as I am :) ) Baffled….. |
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Post by Clayton Wood on Nov 25, 2024 7:42:34 GMT
My son said, “Dad, I don’t understand the difference between a diameter and a radius.” Me: That’s easy. It’s a radius. (If you don't get it at first you're as thick as I am ) Baffled….. The diameter of a circle is the radius x 2(2r), so the difference between the diameter and the radius is the other radius. Join the club!! |
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Post by Goonie on Nov 25, 2024 7:58:04 GMT
My son said, “Dad, I don’t understand the difference between a diameter and a radius.” Me: That’s easy. It’s a radius. (If you don't get it at first you're as thick as I am ) Baffled….. Diameter = 2 x radius |
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Post by lawrieleslie on Nov 25, 2024 7:59:13 GMT
While we’re on the subject of circles Pi (π)is significant as 2πr is the circumference of any given circle no matter what the radius. However here is the most accurate Pi chart………..  |
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Post by Mendicant on Nov 29, 2024 14:54:08 GMT
Inner Clayton abite? He’s late.
For those clicking in hope of a joke: what’s the difference between George Michael and a microwave oven?
A microwave oven stops when you open the door.
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Post by redstriper on Nov 29, 2024 15:17:23 GMT
Inner Clayton abite? He’s late. For those clicking in hope of a joke: what’s the difference between George Michael and a microwave oven? A microwave oven stops when you open the door. Yes, but one of Georges biggest hits was Careless Wanker |
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Post by wagsastokie on Nov 29, 2024 18:12:43 GMT
What slides down toilet walls
George Michaels latest release
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Post by chuffedstokie on Nov 29, 2024 19:42:20 GMT
What goes up a drainpipe down but won't go down a drainpipe up?.
An umbrella 😁.
Think that was in the Beano.
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Post by Clayton Wood on Nov 30, 2024 9:13:50 GMT
Inner Clayton abite? He’s late. For those clicking in hope of a joke: what’s the difference between George Michael and a microwave oven? A microwave oven stops when you open the door. Family visiting mate, but back on it now! A factory worker died after falling into a vat of coffee. Paramedics said he didn’t suffer - it was instant. Yeah, I know, I know.... |
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