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Post by Deleted on Feb 5, 2018 22:04:43 GMT
My radio alarm clock died so I purchased another top of the range job to replace it (£6.49 Tesco). I’ve got it set up and it goes off at 6am as planned. Problem is, neither me or the wife could read the instructions when we set it up as our reading glasses ( another recent acquisition) were always downstairs. We muddled our way through thinking we’d sort it properly another time but by the time I remembered to take my glasses upstairs a few days later she had forgotten where she’d put the instructions. We are now being woken at 6am every Saturday and Sunday because neither of us have any idea how to disarm the alarm at the weekend !! I've got to the stage now where I've got a pair of specs in the lounge, another in the bedroom, and one in the car. Can't read a bloody thing without them now.
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Post by harryburrows on Feb 5, 2018 22:28:54 GMT
My radio alarm clock died so I purchased another top of the range job to replace it (£6.49 Tesco). I’ve got it set up and it goes off at 6am as planned. Problem is, neither me or the wife could read the instructions when we set it up as our reading glasses ( another recent acquisition) were always downstairs. We muddled our way through thinking we’d sort it properly another time but by the time I remembered to take my glasses upstairs a few days later she had forgotten where she’d put the instructions. We are now being woken at 6am every Saturday and Sunday because neither of us have any idea how to disarm the alarm at the weekend !! I hate. Those instructions , by all means have everything we use made in China but for fucks sake don't let the little cunts write the instructions. Let the Germans or better still the Swiss take care of that . Have just moved back into my house after 4 months building work so have a mountain of instruction manuals to understand the oven , central heating , boiler , all digital and fucking gibberish, I'm an analog bloke who just wants an on/ off switch and some dials . Not to much to ask is it
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Post by potterglen on Feb 5, 2018 22:55:01 GMT
I once went shopping on the way home from work, came home to the flat where I was then living, whiled away the evening, went to bed. I woke up the next morning and my car was missing from where I normally parked it outside. I rang up the old bill, told them it had been stolen, caught the bus into work and had a thoroughly miserable day worrying about it. The next morning at 4am I got a call from the police. They had found my car, undamaged, parked about 10 minutes walk away. It was only when I got to Morrisons' car park that I realized that was where I had left it when I had gone shopping 36 hours before. I had walked back to the flat, having completely forgotten that I parked the car at the supermarket, and then continued to blank the fact from my mind until I saw it again. It scared the shit out of me for weeks afterwards as I thought I was going mad. Luckily the police saw the funny side. There is no way I’d have admitted that to the Police, I’d have blagged it and claimed how lucky it wasn’t damaged.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 6, 2018 6:38:31 GMT
My radio alarm clock died so I purchased another top of the range job to replace it (£6.49 Tesco). I’ve got it set up and it goes off at 6am as planned. Problem is, neither me or the wife could read the instructions when we set it up as our reading glasses ( another recent acquisition) were always downstairs. We muddled our way through thinking we’d sort it properly another time but by the time I remembered to take my glasses upstairs a few days later she had forgotten where she’d put the instructions. We are now being woken at 6am every Saturday and Sunday because neither of us have any idea how to disarm the alarm at the weekend !! I hate. Those instructions , by all means have everything we use made in China but for fucks sake don't let the little cunts write the instructions. Let the Germans or better still the Swiss take care of that . Have just moved back into my house after 4 months building work so have a mountain of instruction manuals to understand the oven , central heating , boiler , all digital and fucking gibberish, I'm an analog bloke who just wants an on/ off switch and some dials . Not to much to ask is it I’m with you there Harry 👍
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Post by Deleted on Feb 6, 2018 6:50:02 GMT
My radio alarm clock died so I purchased another top of the range job to replace it (£6.49 Tesco). I’ve got it set up and it goes off at 6am as planned. Problem is, neither me or the wife could read the instructions when we set it up as our reading glasses ( another recent acquisition) were always downstairs. We muddled our way through thinking we’d sort it properly another time but by the time I remembered to take my glasses upstairs a few days later she had forgotten where she’d put the instructions. We are now being woken at 6am every Saturday and Sunday because neither of us have any idea how to disarm the alarm at the weekend !! I hate. Those instructions , by all means have everything we use made in China but for fucks sake don't let the little cunts write the instructions. Let the Germans or better still the Swiss take care of that . Have just moved back into my house after 4 months building work so have a mountain of instruction manuals to understand the oven , central heating , boiler , all digital and fucking gibberish, I'm an analog bloke who just wants an on/ off switch and some dials . Not to much to ask is it How's the snagging list coming along Harry ?
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Post by murphthesurf on Feb 6, 2018 7:55:06 GMT
I hate. Those instructions , by all means have everything we use made in China but for fucks sake don't let the little cunts write the instructions. Let the Germans or better still the Swiss take care of that . Have just moved back into my house after 4 months building work so have a mountain of instruction manuals to understand the oven , central heating , boiler , all digital and fucking gibberish, I'm an analog bloke who just wants an on/ off switch and some dials . Not to much to ask is it How's the snagging list coming along Harry ? 'Arry STILL hasn't answered my question from last week yet about what snagging is, Dees. Mind you, from all the fruity laaaaaanguuuuaaaaage it's obvious he's 'a bit miffed'. Go digitals!
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Post by Deleted on Feb 6, 2018 8:08:55 GMT
I've put plates, knives and forks in the washing machine. Put clothes in the toilet instead of the laundry basket. Gives me a proper laugh when I've realised. If I Dunna realise I've done it and the other half finds them, she just shakes her head and rolls her eyes.
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Post by felonious on Feb 6, 2018 8:20:15 GMT
My radio alarm clock died so I purchased another top of the range job to replace it (£6.49 Tesco). I’ve got it set up and it goes off at 6am as planned. Problem is, neither me or the wife could read the instructions when we set it up as our reading glasses ( another recent acquisition) were always downstairs. We muddled our way through thinking we’d sort it properly another time but by the time I remembered to take my glasses upstairs a few days later she had forgotten where she’d put the instructions. We are now being woken at 6am every Saturday and Sunday because neither of us have any idea how to disarm the alarm at the weekend !! I hate. Those instructions , by all means have everything we use made in China but for fucks sake don't let the little cunts write the instructions. Let the Germans or better still the Swiss take care of that . Have just moved back into my house after 4 months building work so have a mountain of instruction manuals to understand the oven , central heating , boiler , all digital and fucking gibberish, I'm an analog bloke who just wants an on/ off switch and some dials . Not to much to ask is it Another year or two Harry and the boys will be sorted all these contraptions out for you. All you need to do is look angry and say "Fuck fuck fuck" and they'll come over and take the problem out of your hands
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Post by raythesailor on Feb 6, 2018 10:59:27 GMT
My radio alarm clock died so I purchased another top of the range job to replace it (£6.49 Tesco). I’ve got it set up and it goes off at 6am as planned. Problem is, neither me or the wife could read the instructions when we set it up as our reading glasses ( another recent acquisition) were always downstairs. We muddled our way through thinking we’d sort it properly another time but by the time I remembered to take my glasses upstairs a few days later she had forgotten where she’d put the instructions. We are now being woken at 6am every Saturday and Sunday because neither of us have any idea how to disarm the alarm at the weekend !! I hate. Those instructions , by all means have everything we use made in China but for fucks sake don't let the little cunts write the instructions. Let the Germans or better still the Swiss take care of that . Have just moved back into my house after 4 months building work so have a mountain of instruction manuals to understand the oven , central heating , boiler , all digital and fucking gibberish, I'm an analog bloke who just wants an on/ off switch and some dials . Not to much to ask is it You only have to read the instructions when everything else fails. Just keep pressing the buttons and see what happens ! 🙂
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Post by Staying up for Grandadstokey on Feb 6, 2018 18:09:49 GMT
I once took the dog for a walk on a lovely Summer's night and decided to call for a pint. I sat outside and the dog fell asleep under the table. A mate I hadn't seen for ages saw me and we had a good natter about the old days .4 pints later I strolled home and got to my front door when I realised I'd forgotten the dog, went back to the pub and there she was still asleep under the table.
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Post by thevoid on Feb 6, 2018 20:31:55 GMT
Imagine not being sure what all the fuss was about, during a period of mass fussing?
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Post by chuffedstokie on Feb 6, 2018 22:03:37 GMT
Does losing your car at Sainsbury count.
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Post by harryburrows on Feb 6, 2018 22:50:31 GMT
Does losing your car at Sainsbury count. I always find my car ,,, eventually, realising after 10 minutes I'm in my wife's car . My problem, is usually finding my way out of the car park
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Post by harryburrows on Feb 6, 2018 22:54:46 GMT
How's the snagging list coming along Harry ? 'Arry STILL hasn't answered my question from last week yet about what snagging is, Dees. Mind you, from all the fruity laaaaaanguuuuaaaaage it's obvious he's 'a bit miffed'. Go digitals! Snagging murf is when you walk around the job on completion with your builder pointing out all of the things you're not satisfied with he then promises to come back and fix them . He drives away smiling in his new Range Rover
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Post by harryburrows on Feb 6, 2018 22:56:25 GMT
I hate. Those instructions , by all means have everything we use made in China but for fucks sake don't let the little cunts write the instructions. Let the Germans or better still the Swiss take care of that . Have just moved back into my house after 4 months building work so have a mountain of instruction manuals to understand the oven , central heating , boiler , all digital and fucking gibberish, I'm an analog bloke who just wants an on/ off switch and some dials . Not to much to ask is it How's the snagging list coming along Harry ? Devil is in the detail mate 😉
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Post by lawrieleslie on Feb 7, 2018 7:43:31 GMT
Just a word of advice chaps. In the bathroom cabinet never put your Anusol Haemerroid Cream on the same shelf as the Deep Heat Muscle rub.
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Post by Staying up for Grandadstokey on Feb 7, 2018 9:03:31 GMT
Oncoming old age can be a bugger can't it? When I put my socks on in the morning, I always think what else I can do whilst I'm down there. 😊
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Post by Deleted on Feb 7, 2018 9:03:56 GMT
Just a word of advice chaps. In the bathroom cabinet never put your Anusol Haemerroid Cream on the same shelf as the Deep Heat Muscle rub. It does help clear your tear ducts though doesn't it ?
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Post by Deleted on Feb 7, 2018 9:12:09 GMT
I needed to make a Doctor's appointment yesterday and after ringing for over an hour without success I drove round to the surgery to do the deed in person. I filled in the form for the online service and went home to register on the computer. My wife was waiting for me and said the surgery had phoned as I'd left my glasses there when I'd been completing the form. So I drove back to get my glasses, put them in their case and had a chat with the receptionist. My wife was waiting when I got home as this time I'd left my glasses and case there !
My wife went to collect them for me !
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Post by harryburrows on Feb 7, 2018 17:08:18 GMT
I hate. Those instructions , by all means have everything we use made in China but for fucks sake don't let the little cunts write the instructions. Let the Germans or better still the Swiss take care of that . Have just moved back into my house after 4 months building work so have a mountain of instruction manuals to understand the oven , central heating , boiler , all digital and fucking gibberish, I'm an analog bloke who just wants an on/ off switch and some dials . Not to much to ask is it You only have to read the instructions when everything else fails. Just keep pressing the buttons and see what happens ! 🙂 Just read the instructions for my tumble dryer , download the app onto my phone and stay in touch with my dryer wtf 😤 Still I'm always ready to chat to a stranger
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Post by Deleted on Feb 7, 2018 17:30:57 GMT
My radio alarm clock died so I purchased another top of the range job to replace it (£6.49 Tesco). I’ve got it set up and it goes off at 6am as planned. Problem is, neither me or the wife could read the instructions when we set it up as our reading glasses ( another recent acquisition) were always downstairs. We muddled our way through thinking we’d sort it properly another time but by the time I remembered to take my glasses upstairs a few days later she had forgotten where she’d put the instructions. We are now being woken at 6am every Saturday and Sunday because neither of us have any idea how to disarm the alarm at the weekend !! I hate. Those instructions , by all means have everything we use made in China but for fucks sake don't let the little cunts write the instructions. Let the Germans or better still the Swiss take care of that . Have just moved back into my house after 4 months building work so have a mountain of instruction manuals to understand the oven , central heating , boiler , all digital and fucking gibberish, I'm an analog bloke who just wants an on/ off switch and some dials . Not to much to ask is it You struggle to remember which direction to wind your watch
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Post by felonious on Jun 23, 2018 20:26:43 GMT
I was gardening around lunchtime and realised they were shooting out on the fields and it's the dog's pet hate (get it)
So I put the shears down, took the gloves off and headed into the kitchen to put the radio on for him then got distracted by the stray cat and after feeding him found myself in the kitchen desperately trying to remember what I'd come in for. As I was picking the gloves up the next round of shots went off
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Post by harryburrows on Jun 23, 2018 20:32:19 GMT
I was gardening around lunchtime and realised they were shooting out on the fields and it's the dog's pet hate (get it)
So I put the shears down, took the gloves off and headed into the kitchen to put the radio on for him then got distracted by the stray cat and after feeding him found myself in the kitchen desperately trying to remember what I'd come in for. As I was picking the gloves up the next round of shots went off You wear gloves to garden with ?
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Post by felonious on Jun 23, 2018 21:02:53 GMT
I was gardening around lunchtime and realised they were shooting out on the fields and it's the dog's pet hate (get it)
So I put the shears down, took the gloves off and headed into the kitchen to put the radio on for him then got distracted by the stray cat and after feeding him found myself in the kitchen desperately trying to remember what I'd come in for. As I was picking the gloves up the next round of shots went off You wear gloves to garden with ? Not normally but today's job was cutting back some rose bushes that were out of control and a few briars. I've been trying to get the lad to do it all week and caved in today
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Post by murphthesurf on Jun 23, 2018 21:35:54 GMT
I was gardening around lunchtime and realised they were shooting out on the fields and it's the dog's pet hate (get it)
So I put the shears down, took the gloves off and headed into the kitchen to put the radio on for him then got distracted by the stray cat and after feeding him found myself in the kitchen desperately trying to remember what I'd come in for. As I was picking the gloves up the next round of shots went off You wear gloves to garden with ? You haven't seen what else Fel was wearing as well, H! (Hint: Lace & little bows, etc.) He looked gorgeous. I asked if I could borrow the stilettos, but he said 'no chance'. I was gutted!
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Post by FbrgVaStkFan on Jun 23, 2018 21:51:22 GMT
Sometimes I can't remember if I've already shampooed my hair or not when showering.
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Post by felonious on Jun 24, 2018 7:18:03 GMT
It's coming folks
"Someday I'll have a disappearing hairline Someday I'll wear pyjamas in the daytime
Afternoons will be measured out Measured out, measured with Coffee spoons and T.S. Eliot"
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Post by Deleted on Jun 26, 2018 22:35:11 GMT
Are senior moments catching?
I left the car door open AGAIN and last week the wife cooked us chicken lobby surprise...yup she forgot to put the chicken in.
Must be the hot weather, maybe sun stroke on my bald head.
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Post by felonious on Jun 27, 2018 5:56:02 GMT
You wear gloves to garden with ? You haven't seen what else Fel was wearing as well, H! (Hint: Lace & little bows, etc.) He looked gorgeous. I asked if I could borrow the stilettos, but he said 'no chance'. I was gutted! I think you're confusing me with our resident gender bender
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Post by musik on Jun 27, 2018 6:18:06 GMT
When I go from one room to another I almost always forget why. It's been this way for long. It started when I was about 17 - in other words, for 35 years ...
It didn't take long before I knew how to solve it. Slowly going back to catch the thought. It works all the time! 👍
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