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Post by felonious on Apr 29, 2016 17:23:02 GMT
You know me Mary, always happy to dress up as a woman to get my widge excited Oh my, what is a girl to do ps you do know this is a very serious thread Think we'd better meet up soon for a cup of herbal tea
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Post by Deleted on Apr 29, 2016 17:25:28 GMT
Oh my, what is a girl to do ps you do know this is a very serious thread Think we'd better meet up soon for a cup of herbal tea Like two fucking benders again
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Post by Deleted on May 3, 2016 9:59:33 GMT
Warming up,at the weekend. Hallelujah! This weather is going on for too long! Might be able to get my chin off the ground.
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Post by Skankmonkey on May 21, 2016 11:47:15 GMT
Just a bump. End of season and all...
I shall be using my Saturday spare time constructively - either out in the sun or, if rain, reacquainting myself with late '50s cool jazz.
Any other plans?
The fixture list will be out soon.
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Post by trentvale68 on May 21, 2016 13:32:28 GMT
Too much 'self medicating' for me..I suspect Im not alone!
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Post by trentvale68 on May 24, 2016 20:39:46 GMT
Admin, any chance of putting this on a sticky at the top?
Its an important subject and Id be proud to see the Oatcake recognise this and award it permanent visible status, at least as important as adverts for second hand goods?
If it doesn't get used then fair enough but I'd be mightily chuffed to see it up there
Anyone else feel the same on this??
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Post by Skankmonkey on May 27, 2016 15:29:10 GMT
Admin, any chance of putting this on a sticky at the top? Its an important subject and Id be proud to see the Oatcake recognise this and award it permanent visible status, at least as important as adverts for second hand goods? If it doesn't get used then fair enough but I'd be mightily chuffed to see it up there Anyone else feel the same on this?? They should pin the Men's Health thread. Men's Health
That always used to lift my spirits.
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Post by harryburrows on May 27, 2016 16:11:12 GMT
Admin, any chance of putting this on a sticky at the top? Its an important subject and Id be proud to see the Oatcake recognise this and award it permanent visible status, at least as important as adverts for second hand goods? If it doesn't get used then fair enough but I'd be mightily chuffed to see it up there Anyone else feel the same on this?? It will be useful after our first home defeat against Swansea or Watford
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Post by chuffedstokie on May 28, 2016 22:37:23 GMT
This may sound daft or at least irrational, but being able to come into the oatcake community with all its broad cross section of views, thoughts, opinions, experiences, stories and a unique sense of humour has gone quite some way to restoring a sense of community and worth where there was precious little. Separation, messy and complicated, health deterioration, job loss, not seeing my own son for 6 years. A panoply of events that you can see no end to. Rational thought becoming ever more elusive. But by being able to get involved, if only in some moderate way, on these pages it has been a help just to focus on things a little clearer. It won't resolve everything overnight, but I've been fortunate with work and managed somehow to regain a modicum of self worth and esteem. Just by writing this now will be the first time that I've really expressed some inner woes. No, I'm not what you might call clinically depressed but there have been more Jeremy Kyle days than I care to remember. Strangely though, and I really don't know how, but Stoke results don't seem to affect me, although they probably should. Keep up the good work everyone, it helps more than you could possibly realise.
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Post by trentvale68 on Jun 25, 2016 18:41:13 GMT
This may sound daft or at least irrational, but being able to come into the oatcake community with all its broad cross section of views, thoughts, opinions, experiences, stories and a unique sense of humour has gone quite some way to restoring a sense of community and worth where there was precious little. Separation, messy and complicated, health deterioration, job loss, not seeing my own son for 6 years. A panoply of events that you can see no end to. Rational thought becoming ever more elusive. But by being able to get involved, if only in some moderate way, on these pages it has been a help just to focus on things a little clearer. It won't resolve everything overnight, but I've been fortunate with work and managed somehow to regain a modicum of self worth and esteem. Just by writing this now will be the first time that I've really expressed some inner woes. No, I'm not what you might call clinically depressed but there have been more Jeremy Kyle days than I care to remember. Strangely though, and I really don't know how, but Stoke results don't seem to affect me, although they probably should. Keep up the good work everyone, it helps more than you could possibly realise. Very moving post mate
And in terms of Stoke results; it isnt life or death. You get disappointed but once you've had a few REAL knocks eg job loss, relationship probs, death of parents etc then you realise it doesn't really matter AT ALL. The club will still be there next week, there will still be 40 odd games the next season.
I mean, this England thing. 50 years of hurt & all that bollox. Hurt??!!? Give me a break, shouldn't be more than mild irritation at best; not an excuse to kick the cat or put the window through!
Anyway, worthy thread which ive tried to champion more. Its a shame Admin cant or WONT get behind it. So anyway Im bringing it back to page 1 again in case it helps anyone.
For some reason, people appear very hot under the collar these past 24 hours
But seriously, if youre pissed off at anything and its REALLY getting to you, its a decent bunch of people on this particular thread
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Post by chuffedstokie on Jun 25, 2016 19:35:21 GMT
This may sound daft or at least irrational, but being able to come into the oatcake community with all its broad cross section of views, thoughts, opinions, experiences, stories and a unique sense of humour has gone quite some way to restoring a sense of community and worth where there was precious little. Separation, messy and complicated, health deterioration, job loss, not seeing my own son for 6 years. A panoply of events that you can see no end to. Rational thought becoming ever more elusive. But by being able to get involved, if only in some moderate way, on these pages it has been a help just to focus on things a little clearer. It won't resolve everything overnight, but I've been fortunate with work and managed somehow to regain a modicum of self worth and esteem. Just by writing this now will be the first time that I've really expressed some inner woes. No, I'm not what you might call clinically depressed but there have been more Jeremy Kyle days than I care to remember. Strangely though, and I really don't know how, but Stoke results don't seem to affect me, although they probably should. Keep up the good work everyone, it helps more than you could possibly realise. Very moving post mate
And in terms of Stoke results; it isnt life or death. You get disappointed but once you've had a few REAL knocks eg job loss, relationship probs, death of parents etc then you realise it doesn't really matter AT ALL. The club will still be there next week, there will still be 40 odd games the next season.
I mean, this England thing. 50 years of hurt & all that bollox. Hurt??!!? Give me a break, shouldn't be more than mild irritation at best; not an excuse to kick the cat or put the window through!
Anyway, worthy thread which ive tried to champion more. Its a shame Admin cant or WONT get behind it. So anyway Im bringing it back to page 1 again in case it helps anyone.
For some reason, people appear very hot under the collar these past 24 hours
But seriously, if youre pissed off at anything and its REALLY getting to you, its a decent bunch of people on this particular thread
Over the last month or so things have moved forward a bit thankfully. Job is going ok but lengthy days, at least time goes quickly. Hopefully i'll be able to get to more games now, that should be a positive. Mind you some might think otherwise. Even made progress with my son, which again is good going forward. As I mentioned previously getting involved on here has really helped as well. Call it a leveller, always a good thing. Good job I was half decent at spelling at school.
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Post by trentvale68 on Jun 27, 2016 21:26:47 GMT
Some of you might need this tonight..
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Post by chuffedstokie on Jun 27, 2016 21:28:23 GMT
Some of you might need this tonight.. And I was doing so well. 😀
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Post by trentvale68 on Jul 3, 2016 18:10:58 GMT
Admin still wont take this on board as a sticky, so Im bumping it again
Quite happy though to pin something about a bunch of lardies running round in circles, pretending to play football!!
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Post by chuffedstokie on Jul 3, 2016 19:04:14 GMT
Admin still wont take this on board as a sticky, so Im bumping it again Quite happy though to pin something about a bunch of lardies running round in circles, pretending to play football!! It's well worth it. Have to bear in mind all the time though,that to genuinely open up is quite a leap. Helped me but what do I know. 👍
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Post by trentvale68 on Jul 3, 2016 19:07:34 GMT
Admin still wont take this on board as a sticky, so Im bumping it again Quite happy though to pin something about a bunch of lardies running round in circles, pretending to play football!! It's well worth it. Have to bear in mind all the time though,that to genuinely open up is quite a leap. Helped me but what do I know. 👍 Theres a few things in that Tennis thread I wouldn't mind opening up...
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Post by mermaidsal on Jul 3, 2016 19:49:57 GMT
Keeping bumping this please, if it gets a lot of traffic I'd pin it, my only worry is too many people might try and have the wrong sort of laugh with it. Blokes, especially, being prepared to talk aopenly about depression is brilliant and the small steady things that get you through. It really is true imho that women talk about that small daily stuff when too many giuys train themselves to bottle it up.
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Post by trentvale68 on Jul 3, 2016 19:57:40 GMT
Keeping bumping this please, if it gets a lot of traffic I'd pin it, my only worry is too many people might try and have the wrong sort of laugh with it. Blokes, especially, being prepared to talk aopenly about depression is brilliant and the small steady things that get you through. It really is true imho that women talk about that small daily stuff when too many giuys train themselves to bottle it up. Fair play, fella
I do agree there's a potential for arseholeism whenever something serious like this is in play
Makes me laugh when Cameron & co talk about Mental health...then the cunts proceed to do fuck all to fund effective treatment!!
Its noticeable as well that it's only men by themselves you see propping up a bar, looking for answers in the bottom of a glass. God knows I have & still do!!
You never see women doing it though - they just seem to cope better!
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Post by mermaidsal on Jul 3, 2016 19:59:59 GMT
Keeping bumping this please, if it gets a lot of traffic I'd pin it, my only worry is too many people might try and have the wrong sort of laugh with it. Blokes, especially, being prepared to talk aopenly about depression is brilliant and the small steady things that get you through. It really is true imho that women talk about that small daily stuff when too many giuys train themselves to bottle it up. Fair play, fella
I do agree there's a potential for arseholeism whenever something serious like this is in play
Makes me laugh when Cameron & co talk about Mental health...then the cunts proceed to do fuck all to fund effective treatment!!
Its noticeable as well that it's only men by themselves you see propping up a bar, looking for answers in the bottom of a glass. God knows I have & still do!!
You never see women doing it though - they just seem to cope better! Hmmm, we're still prone to pour one glass then end up finishing the bottle home alone...
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Post by chuffedstokie on Jul 3, 2016 20:07:02 GMT
Keeping bumping this please, if it gets a lot of traffic I'd pin it, my only worry is too many people might try and have the wrong sort of laugh with it. Blokes, especially, being prepared to talk aopenly about depression is brilliant and the small steady things that get you through. It really is true imho that women talk about that small daily stuff when too many giuys train themselves to bottle it up. Fair play, fella
I do agree there's a potential for arseholeism whenever something serious like this is in play
Makes me laugh when Cameron & co talk about Mental health...then the cunts proceed to do fuck all to fund effective treatment!!
Its noticeable as well that it's only men by themselves you see propping up a bar, looking for answers in the bottom of a glass. God knows I have & still do!!
You never see women doing it though - they just seem to cope better! I found myself in a place that only I occupied. Then gradually many small issues snowballed into one large problem. Not having anyone to share those problems with made it worse. Then (this may sound bizarre), this place came along, with all its diverse characters. In its own way very much a help. Hat's off.
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Post by trentvale68 on Jul 3, 2016 20:17:53 GMT
Fair play, fella
I do agree there's a potential for arseholeism whenever something serious like this is in play
Makes me laugh when Cameron & co talk about Mental health...then the cunts proceed to do fuck all to fund effective treatment!!
Its noticeable as well that it's only men by themselves you see propping up a bar, looking for answers in the bottom of a glass. God knows I have & still do!!
You never see women doing it though - they just seem to cope better! Hmmm, we're still prone to pour one glass then end up finishing the bottle home alone... Do you know, Id only just clocked that you were a lady!
I am sorry, you just get so used to sparring with other blokes on here!!
Ah, yes, wine!! The so called silent killer of the middle classes! Doesn't help that it doesn't bloat you like beer or burn the throat like spirits!
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Post by Deleted on Jul 3, 2016 20:20:02 GMT
Interpersonal Psychotherapy (IPT) is an effective way of treating depression. Have a look on Amazon etc for self help books that have this as a focus. It encourages you to identify depressant behaviours and how to use those people in your life as anti-depressants in helping to change depressing behaviours. Otherwise seek help from your local primary care mental health team. You can often self-refer or your GP can. Personally I think medication has its place but talking therapies can bring about lasting change. Oh and watch your booze intake as it is also a depressant.......and watching England play in knockout tournaments! 😉
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Post by trentvale68 on Jul 3, 2016 20:25:23 GMT
Fair play, fella
I do agree there's a potential for arseholeism whenever something serious like this is in play
Makes me laugh when Cameron & co talk about Mental health...then the cunts proceed to do fuck all to fund effective treatment!!
Its noticeable as well that it's only men by themselves you see propping up a bar, looking for answers in the bottom of a glass. God knows I have & still do!!
You never see women doing it though - they just seem to cope better! I found myself in a place that only I occupied. Then gradually many small issues snowballed into one large problem. Not having anyone to share those problems with made it worse. Then (this may sound bizarre), this place came along, with all its diverse characters. In its own way very much a help. Hat's off. Same here, my friend, I'm only really here for the EE board
Too many self righteous pricks on the football board for my liking! Thankfully all the decent folk seem to post on here and the others don't seem to have any life beyond football so they don't visit here. Then again, some on the Football board say exactly the same about this board. The football board does me head in, folk telling others to fuck off just because they saw something in a game differently to them. Even worse when they just say "Shit Bin" - fucking arrogant!! Or even worse, pretending to be intellectual and wording it as "To The Bin Of Shit". Nah, no thanks, we'll play like grown ups on the EE Board instead - well sometimes LOL
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Post by trentvale68 on Jul 3, 2016 20:43:46 GMT
Interpersonal Psychotherapy (IPT) is an effective way of treating depression. Have a look on Amazon etc for self help books that have this as a focus. It encourages you to identify depressant behaviours and how to use those people in your life as anti-depressants in helping to change depressing behaviours. Otherwise seek help from your local primary care mental health team. You can often self-refer or your GP can. Personally I think medication has its place but talking therapies can bring about lasting change. Oh and watch your booze intake as it is also a depressant.......and watching England play in knockout tournaments! 😉 I have to be honest, Im caught in that booze cycle myself. Im not a heavy drinker as such but usually out 6 or 7 nights a week, just a steady 3 pints of John Smith's for me. I don't take holidays, run a car etc and I'm by myself so I think well I've gotta have something for me!!!
Been a difficult couple of years, got laid off from a big local employer after 12 years there, my mother's death last year nearly snapped me in half, still not properly back in work yet - those 3 pints and a change of scene are what get me through the day tbh. Funnily enough, I never touch a drop in the house though and I never touch top shelf so its sort of half social/half medicinal.
It really is true that the 40 to 50 bracket is a challenging time. One thing with me that at least helps is that I'm not a vain person, I aint interested in designer threads or flash cars and I'm not too fussed about being on my own at the moment, I think a woman would just stress me out even further!! I just have to think things will change somewhere, Ill get back into work, maybe someone comes along or maybe they don't! At least I'm comfortable in my own skin and I've developed a certain spiritual (NOT religious!) perspective that allows me to see life for the game that it really is. I have no fear of death and I have no doubts of something beyond it either so I'm very comfortable of my mortality. My father made only 66 and I'm not half the man he was so if I can make 70 I'm happy with that.
Ive been on antidepressants for 20 bloody years now, sometimes I don't think they work but the doctor said its like having a filling, youd soon know if you weren't taking anything. Have to say when I saw a bereavement counsellor last year, he was brilliant; he had similar views to me (had had an NDE) and he really, really helped so anyone that loses anyone close - and you all will sadly- I really can give a MASSIVE shout for the Dove service at Hanley
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Post by Deleted on Jul 3, 2016 20:53:11 GMT
Interpersonal Psychotherapy (IPT) is an effective way of treating depression. Have a look on Amazon etc for self help books that have this as a focus. It encourages you to identify depressant behaviours and how to use those people in your life as anti-depressants in helping to change depressing behaviours. Otherwise seek help from your local primary care mental health team. You can often self-refer or your GP can. Personally I think medication has its place but talking therapies can bring about lasting change. Oh and watch your booze intake as it is also a depressant.......and watching England play in knockout tournaments! 😉 I have to be honest, Im caught in that booze cycle myself. Im not a heavy drinker as such but usually out 6 or 7 nights a week, just a steady 3 pints of John Smith's for me. I don't take holidays, run a car etc and I'm by myself so I think well I've gotta have something for me!!!
Been a difficult couple of years, got laid off from a big local employer after 12 years there, my mother's death last year nearly snapped me in half, still not properly back in work yet - those 3 pints and a change of scene are what get me through the day tbh. Funnily enough, I never touch a drop in the house though and I never touch top shelf so its sort of half social/half medicinal.
It really is true that the 40 to 50 bracket is a challenging time. One thing with me that at least helps is that I'm not a vain person, I aint interested in designer threads or flash cars and I'm not too fussed about being on my own at the moment, I think a woman would just stress me out even further!! I just have to think things will change somewhere, Ill get back into work, maybe someone comes along or maybe they don't! At least I'm comfortable in my own skin and I've developed a certain spiritual (NOT religious!) perspective that allows me to see life for the game that it really is. I have no fear of death and I have no doubts of something beyond it either so I'm very comfortable of my mortality. My father made only 66 and I'm not half the man he was so if I can make 70 I'm happy with that.
Ive been on antidepressants for 20 bloody years now, sometimes I don't think they work but the doctor said its like having a filling, youd soon know if you weren't taking anything. Have to say when I saw a bereavement counsellor last year, he was brilliant; he had similar views to me (had had an NDE) and he really, really helped so anyone that loses anyone close - and you all will sadly- I really can give a MASSIVE shout for the Dove service at Hanley
Well said mate. It takes a lot for your average man to seek help and admit they are depressed, it's even harder to get some to talk. Drugs have their place in treatment for some and they can really help. It can effect anyone, anytime. Ruby Wax has a book out on mindfulness, not sure how good that is but I do know mindfulness and meditation are seen as hugely beneficial in helping people develop calmness and becoming aware of toxic thinking patterns and behaviours. Awareness leads to choice....do I think/do the toxic or choose not to. Also Self-Compassion therapy is incredibly beneficial as you learn to be compassionate to yourself. Especially good if you have low self-esteem or are highly self-critical. It's all about exploiting our brain's neuroplasticity....it's ability to change pathways and chemical makeup
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Post by trentvale68 on Jul 3, 2016 21:01:47 GMT
Tried an excellent book by Susan Jeffers called Embracing Uncertainty
Thoroughly recommended!
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Post by chuffedstokie on Jul 3, 2016 21:49:59 GMT
Interpersonal Psychotherapy (IPT) is an effective way of treating depression. Have a look on Amazon etc for self help books that have this as a focus. It encourages you to identify depressant behaviours and how to use those people in your life as anti-depressants in helping to change depressing behaviours. Otherwise seek help from your local primary care mental health team. You can often self-refer or your GP can. Personally I think medication has its place but talking therapies can bring about lasting change. Oh and watch your booze intake as it is also a depressant.......and watching England play in knockout tournaments! 😉 I have to be honest, Im caught in that booze cycle myself. Im not a heavy drinker as such but usually out 6 or 7 nights a week, just a steady 3 pints of John Smith's for me. I don't take holidays, run a car etc and I'm by myself so I think well I've gotta have something for me!!!
Been a difficult couple of years, got laid off from a big local employer after 12 years there, my mother's death last year nearly snapped me in half, still not properly back in work yet - those 3 pints and a change of scene are what get me through the day tbh. Funnily enough, I never touch a drop in the house though and I never touch top shelf so its sort of half social/half medicinal.
It really is true that the 40 to 50 bracket is a challenging time. One thing with me that at least helps is that I'm not a vain person, I aint interested in designer threads or flash cars and I'm not too fussed about being on my own at the moment, I think a woman would just stress me out even further!! I just have to think things will change somewhere, Ill get back into work, maybe someone comes along or maybe they don't! At least I'm comfortable in my own skin and I've developed a certain spiritual (NOT religious!) perspective that allows me to see life for the game that it really is. I have no fear of death and I have no doubts of something beyond it either so I'm very comfortable of my mortality. My father made only 66 and I'm not half the man he was so if I can make 70 I'm happy with that.
Ive been on antidepressants for 20 bloody years now, sometimes I don't think they work but the doctor said its like having a filling, youd soon know if you weren't taking anything. Have to say when I saw a bereavement counsellor last year, he was brilliant; he had similar views to me (had had an NDE) and he really, really helped so anyone that loses anyone close - and you all will sadly- I really can give a MASSIVE shout for the Dove service at Hanley
Well said. I can recognise more than one trait you describe. It was hard but losing the booze helped a lot. Self affirming success story. Play mind games with yourself and keep trying to win them.
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Post by trentvale68 on Jul 22, 2016 11:18:30 GMT
Bringing it back for us miserable twats!
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Post by chuffedstokie on Jul 22, 2016 15:25:43 GMT
Here here. Any reminder won't do any harm. The season hasn't started yet either. :-)
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Post by Deleted on Jul 22, 2016 17:53:56 GMT
Lifestyle change, diet, exercise has completely turned my life around since February. dont know if I'm right or wrong, but I put it down to a chemical imbalance of some sort
I feel I'm the person I was when I was in my early 20's now
Except for this.......
Everything was like a dream for months until.......I re-introduced ....coffee. Costa/ Starbucks ....id call for a cappuccino decaf skinny.
No immediate affect so driving on the motorway a lot taking my mum to Manchester for radio therapy a called quite a lot for coffees
By the end of the week I'd completely reverted to my old anxious, irritable deep moody shit
Only thing it could have been that had changed was I'd introduced coffee, so I stopped it immediately 2-3 days later I was back to feeling great and have been since
I haven't touched alcohol since February but, I'd imagine that would be as bad if not worse.
Just my thoughts.
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