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Post by potterinleeds on Nov 30, 2018 22:38:24 GMT
I used to read this thread a lot but for whatever reason never posted. Forgot it existed but happened upon it in my bookmarks today, anyway i needed to get a few things off my chest. I'm not depressed, i don't think anyway, i do have severe anxiety though. I always feel like i'm going to die, like something terrible is going to happen and i worry constantly about my health. I can barely function, i work from home but if a situation ever arose where i needed to get a real job i don't think i could cope. I'm also an alcoholic, i only feel confident enough to leave the house when i'm drunk, i can barely eat sober. I know i need stop but i'm so scared of the withdrawals and not being able to sleep, i'm convinced i'll die if i don't drink but i know i'll die if i carry on. I have so many irrational thoughts yet i only recognise them as irrational when i'm drunk. I keep telling myself i'll go to the doctor but i'm too scared to go unless i'm drunk and turning up to the doctors drunk would be so embarrassing, i just don't know how to fix it and feel like i'll never get better. I'm only 21 and i'm meant to have my whole life ahead of me but i know if i don't stop it won't be much of a life, never mind a long one. As others have said, you're a brave bloke for posting, and you've already taken some of the first steps. As Localoser has stressed, and I can't stress this enough either, you can't do this on your own. There is absolutely no shame in asking for help, and first thing you will find when you do, is that there are so many others who feel like you do now. It seems a weird idea confessing what you see as your worst thoughts to a stranger, but I went to see a psychotherapist privately over the course of 12 months, and she (a) listened to what I thought were the fears of a madman in a completely non-judgmental manner (b) demonstrated how common my fears / anxieties were and (c) showed me why I was doing it to myself. She was obviously not cheap but there are other avenues. NHS of course, but make sure that they don't try and fob you off with a 'self-treatment' internet course - get onto something where you talk face to face, singly or in a group. I assume that you are posting from the Stoke area and I see that the organization I have linked to below has covered Stoke and the West Midlands in the past. mentalhealthmates.co.uk/walks/Severe anxiety / intrusive thoughts / catastrophic future predictions are a bitch. I understand how they get lodged in your mind, will not go away, seem entirely reasonable and realistic however unlikely they may actually be. All I can say from my experience is that most of the things you worry about will not happen, those that do will not happen in the way that you think they will and they'll only happen once - you'll deal with them once, not the hundreds of times that they get played over in your head, and then you'll move on. In regard to longer term management of mental health, once you have got your drinking sorted, I've found that physical exercise (long runs in my case) helps a lot, as do yoga and meditation - a lot of blokes scoff at yoga (and I have a wry smile to myself sometimes when I am stood in the away end thinking what the home supporters would be shouting if they could have seen me in my lycra leggings doing the Downward Dog the day before) but it works. If you fancy it and can find a class in your area, Dru is a low impact form of yoga with an emphasis on breathing that is very good for managing the mind. At 21, you do have your whole life ahead of you, and I'm sure that however bleak the present may seem, it will pass. Hang on in there and just do a bit at a time. Best of luck.
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Post by localloser on Dec 1, 2018 19:27:33 GMT
Hey ClayFar, are you there? Just wondering how you're getting on? Weekends are difficult times as offices are closed Appreciate it if you let us know you're okay. See - we do give a shit....
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Post by chuffedstokie on Dec 1, 2018 19:30:38 GMT
Hey ClayFar, are you there? Just wondering how you're getting on? Weekends are difficult times as offices are closed Appreciate it if you let us know you're okay. See - we do give a shit.... Just thinking the same.
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Post by salopstick on Dec 1, 2018 19:47:27 GMT
I don't really want to go into own experiences but if anyone here is suffering ........ exercise! I don't know if it is medically advised but it's certainly helped me in the past. You can't beat a good gym session, especially after work. I've put weight on lately which gets me down, so I've signed up again. Exercise releases feel good endorphins
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Post by ClayFar on Dec 1, 2018 20:18:40 GMT
Hi Guys, thanks again for the messages and for checking up on me, i've been given an appointment in just under 3 weeks time at the youth addiction centre. Quite a long time away or so it feels, but in the meantime they have given me some advice on how to cut down on the drinking and to try to do something other than just stay in bed all day. I do feel slightly more positive today now i have an appointment and i feel like i owe it to myself and to my family and friends to give all my effort to getting sober. Thanks again for your kind words and advice, it really does mean a lot to me, hope everyone else is doing okay.
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Post by localloser on Dec 1, 2018 20:24:37 GMT
Thanks for getting in touch buddy. Pleased you have an appointment and that you have some good advice. Dunner forget the Samaritans - they are always there on 116 123 if things get tough. And there's always some numpty or other on here.
look after yersen and take care
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Post by ClayFar on Dec 1, 2018 20:33:35 GMT
Thanks for getting in touch buddy. Pleased you have an appointment and that you have some good advice. Dunner forget the Samaritans - they are always there on 116 123 if things get tough. And there's always some numpty or other on here. look after yersen and take care Cheers, i've got the number saved, thanks again
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Post by bobby1eye on Dec 1, 2018 20:51:11 GMT
Hi Guys, thanks again for the messages and for checking up on me, i've been given an appointment in just under 3 weeks time at the youth addiction centre. Quite a long time away or so it feels, but in the meantime they have given me some advice on how to cut down on the drinking and to try to do something other than just stay in bed all day. I do feel slightly more positive today now i have an appointment and i feel like i owe it to myself and to my family and friends to give all my effort to getting sober. Thanks again for your kind words and advice, it really does mean a lot to me, hope everyone else is doing okay. Mate,you will be surprised at what you can achieve with a little help from others. The oatcake is full of dick heads(myself included)but any one of us on here are here for you if you need to have a chat. You'll get through this mate,you've opened up to us all and that's the first step. PM me if you ever want to talk mate,no matter what time it is. 🤜🤛
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Post by bathstoke on Dec 1, 2018 21:02:38 GMT
You can't beat a good gym session, especially after work. I've put weight on lately which gets me down, so I've signed up again. Exercise releases feel good endorphins Having a good run won’t make a dismembered foot grow back, Neither will it stop people being depressed.
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Post by GeneralFaye on Dec 1, 2018 21:03:46 GMT
Hi Guys, thanks again for the messages and for checking up on me, i've been given an appointment in just under 3 weeks time at the youth addiction centre. Quite a long time away or so it feels, but in the meantime they have given me some advice on how to cut down on the drinking and to try to do something other than just stay in bed all day. I do feel slightly more positive today now i have an appointment and i feel like i owe it to myself and to my family and friends to give all my effort to getting sober. Thanks again for your kind words and advice, it really does mean a lot to me, hope everyone else is doing okay. With the collection of "characters" on here you've shown great strength and courage by posting your struggles. Admitting you've got a problem and acknowledging it is the first and biggest step in your road to getting healthy, I'll assure you of that. I jest when I mock the people of the Oatcake btw, the majority are like all Stokies, kind hearted and compassionate folk that would help anyone Best of luck.
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Post by GeneralFaye on Dec 1, 2018 21:05:26 GMT
Exercise releases feel good endorphins Having a good run won’t make a dismembered foot grow back, Neither will it stop people being depressed. Have you looked into any research into the benefits of exercise on mental health? I think you should, judging by your post.
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Post by salopstick on Dec 1, 2018 21:08:27 GMT
Having a good run won’t make a dismembered foot grow back, Neither will it stop people being depressed. Have you looked into any research into the benefits of exercise on mental health? I think you should, judging by your post. Exactly
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Post by bathstoke on Dec 1, 2018 21:15:43 GMT
Having a good run won’t make a dismembered foot grow back, Neither will it stop people being depressed. Have you looked into any research into the benefits of exercise on mental health? I think you should, judging by your post. Yes & Fuck off You don’t know what you’re talking about, just like Salop. I suggest you go to another thread. I like your work General, but this isn’t a light or funny subject
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Post by GeneralFaye on Dec 1, 2018 21:21:21 GMT
Have you looked into any research into the benefits of exercise on mental health? I think you should, judging by your post. Yes & Fuck off You don’t know what you’re talking about, just like Salop. I suggest you go to another thread. I like your work General, but this isn’t a light or funny subject Eh?! you're talking to someone who did a sports degree and carried out in depth analysis on this very subject so I'm more educated than you are, I'm afraid to say.
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Post by bathstoke on Dec 1, 2018 21:31:54 GMT
Yes & Fuck off You don’t know what you’re talking about, just like Salop. I suggest you go to another thread. I like your work General, but this isn’t a light or funny subject Eh?! you're talking to someone who did a sports degree and carried out in depth analysis on this very subject so I'm more educated than you are, I'm afraid to say. I gave you an out there but you didn’t take it.... You’re ignorant on this subject & dangerous to people who are not like you. Do you understand
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Post by GeneralFaye on Dec 1, 2018 21:34:28 GMT
Eh?! you're talking to someone who did a sports degree and carried out in depth analysis on this very subject so I'm more educated than you are, I'm afraid to say. I gave you an out there but you didn’t take it.... You’re ignorant on this subject & dangerous to people who are not like you. Do you understand You don't know who I am so how can you come to that conclusion?! You don't know my mum is a manic depressive so I've lived with it all my life, do you?.. I'm baffled to why you're being hostile with me in all honesty.
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Post by bathstoke on Dec 1, 2018 21:37:41 GMT
I gave you an out there but you didn’t take it.... You’re ignorant on this subject & dangerous to people who are not like you. Do you understand You don't know who I am so how can you come to that conclusion?! You don't know my mum is a manic depressive so I've lived with it all my life, do you?.. I'm baffled to why you're being hostile with me in all honesty. Do you tell you’re mum to go for a run...
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Post by bobby1eye on Dec 1, 2018 21:41:37 GMT
I gave you an out there but you didn’t take it.... You’re ignorant on this subject & dangerous to people who are not like you. Do you understand You don't know who I am so how can you come to that conclusion?! You don't know my mum is a manic depressive so I've lived with it all my life, do you?.. I'm baffled to why you're being hostile with me in all honesty. To be fare,does anybody really understand this shitty thing.i can understand that sports/exercise and many other things can help to take you away from it but each individual is different. Do what you find helps but do it with people around you.You will never beat it on your own.
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Post by GeneralFaye on Dec 1, 2018 21:42:10 GMT
You don't know who I am so how can you come to that conclusion?! You don't know my mum is a manic depressive so I've lived with it all my life, do you?.. I'm baffled to why you're being hostile with me in all honesty. Do you tell you’re mum to go for a run... You're being ridiculous now but now you're mentioning it, exercise along with many other lifestyle changes have helped her mental state, yes You may, for whatever reason, not agree with me but it doesn't mean you should assume that I don't know what I'm talking about or that I'm, in your opinion, not "qualified" enough to talk about the subject. It's a tad condescending.
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Post by GeneralFaye on Dec 1, 2018 21:43:55 GMT
You don't know who I am so how can you come to that conclusion?! You don't know my mum is a manic depressive so I've lived with it all my life, do you?.. I'm baffled to why you're being hostile with me in all honesty. To be fare,does anybody really understand this shitty thing.i can understand that sports/exercise and many other things can help to take you away from it but each individual is different. Do what you find helps but do it with people around you.You will never beat it on your own. I've never once said exercise can solve depression have I?! with all respect. Many differing factors have to come into line for an improved mental state, I know that.
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Post by trickydicky73 on Dec 1, 2018 21:51:06 GMT
In fairness to Salop and The General, in my experience routine and exercise can help prevent the worst episodes of depression, or at least keep them at bay. I have recently lost my job, and my anxiety/depression has resurfaced almost immediately. Once it takes hold, though, I can barely get through the door, never mind go for a run.
It's a horrible, life ruining thing.
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Post by bathstoke on Dec 1, 2018 21:52:41 GMT
Do you tell you’re mum to go for a run... You're being ridiculous now but now you're mentioning it, exercise along with many other lifestyle changes have helped her mental state, yes You may, for whatever reason, not agree with me but it doesn't mean you should assume that I don't know what I'm talking about or that I'm, in your opinion, not "qualified" enough to talk about the subject. It's a tad condescending. Sorry to offend. It’s an emotive subjectXx
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Post by GeneralFaye on Dec 1, 2018 22:06:25 GMT
You're being ridiculous now but now you're mentioning it, exercise along with many other lifestyle changes have helped her mental state, yes You may, for whatever reason, not agree with me but it doesn't mean you should assume that I don't know what I'm talking about or that I'm, in your opinion, not "qualified" enough to talk about the subject. It's a tad condescending. Sorry to offend. It’s an emotive subjectXx No worries. It sure is and also a very important one. I'm just glad people and young men in particular are talking about it more now. Knowing that of course though, major steps regarding awareness, understanding, help etc are still required.
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Post by salopstick on Dec 1, 2018 22:06:53 GMT
Have you looked into any research into the benefits of exercise on mental health? I think you should, judging by your post. Yes & Fuck off You don’t know what you’re talking about, just like Salop. I suggest you go to another thread. I like your work General, but this isn’t a light or funny subject www.mentalhealth.org.uk/publications/how-to-using-exercise
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Post by bathstoke on Dec 1, 2018 22:13:26 GMT
Run Forest run, it’ll make you smarter. Just like Salop
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Post by localloser on Dec 1, 2018 22:19:18 GMT
Can I just say....
There is no one universal solution, but I am mindful of ClayFar here = Can we please remember that here is a young man in crisis and lets all try to help him through this....
Nothing else matters for the time being
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Post by bobby1eye on Dec 1, 2018 22:22:53 GMT
To be fare,does anybody really understand this shitty thing.i can understand that sports/exercise and many other things can help to take you away from it but each individual is different. Do what you find helps but do it with people around you.You will never beat it on your own. I've never once said exercise can solve depression have I?! with all respect. Many differing factors have to come into line for an improved mental state, I know that. No,i wasn't saying that mate.i was more in the thinking that anything can remove you from your thoughts is and can only be a good thing. I wasn't having a pop mate.i understand that exercise can bring on a better state of mind(I know people who do it amd feel fantastic afterwards. It's just not everybody cup of tea.
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Post by Dingdangdoo on Dec 2, 2018 14:18:06 GMT
Hi Guys, thanks again for the messages and for checking up on me, i've been given an appointment in just under 3 weeks time at the youth addiction centre. Quite a long time away or so it feels, but in the meantime they have given me some advice on how to cut down on the drinking and to try to do something other than just stay in bed all day. I do feel slightly more positive today now i have an appointment and i feel like i owe it to myself and to my family and friends to give all my effort to getting sober. Thanks again for your kind words and advice, it really does mean a lot to me, hope everyone else is doing okay. One step at a time is the best way matey. Set yourself little goals, but don’t be disappointed if everything doesn’t go to okanl the time. All the best
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Post by salopstick on Dec 2, 2018 14:37:44 GMT
A mate of mine was in a state (not military) going through a rough time with loads of issues. Some self made. We spoke all the time about it. I told him go out and do somthing. Anything just so he would think about other stuff and not his problems. He started going for walks. I asked him where he walked. And he said no where in particular I just go out.
Brilliant
Tomorrow I said plan a route. Not only will you be happy with your walk but also with the fact you made a plan and succeeded. It helped a lot.
I find if you plan somthing then do it especially after doing nothing you get the extra sense of achievement from doing so.
Books like “chimp paradox” are a good read and it’s essential you get help but as hard as it is it’s the individual that had to make the descision to go to.
Finding a sport or activity to do leads to so many health benefits both mental and physical and it’s a good way of increasing your social circle.
It’s all about little changes gradually
If you make 5 new year resolutions it’s likely to fail you are trying too many changes at once. It’s all about one step at a time. Little changes that lead on to more little changes. Adds up to big changes. You make a little change that works it inspires you to the next one.
It’s not fucking easy at all, it’s very easy to get stuck in a rut and let yourself go down hill. It’s s long way back sometimes. But the hardest step is the first one from there it can get easier
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Post by harryburrows on Dec 2, 2018 14:49:09 GMT
Does anyone think medication would help this young man ? The reason I ask is my late dad suffered from depression in his late Middle Age . He was prescribed some happy pills and he made an immediate and sustained improvement. He did try to come off them but he went downhill pretty quick . He stayed on them for the rest of his life
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