|
Post by pinoypotter on Jun 6, 2014 14:45:13 GMT
Ever-dependable right back John Butler was the Great Grandson of Comedy Legend Stan Laurel.
Although he rarely spoke of his 'Hollywood' connections, to win a cash wager with team mate Noel Blake, John did wear Stan's original 'bowler' during the whole game for the 7-0 thrashing of an Isle-of-Man XI during Stokes 91-92 pre-season tour of the Island.
Sadly, the iconic head-piece suffered irreparable damage in an injury time clearance from a corner.
|
|
|
Post by onionman on Jun 6, 2014 14:47:54 GMT
William the Conqueror based his tactics for the infamous 1066 Battle of Hastings on a war book written by fellow Frenchman Toni De Puli.
Conquerer lined his team in a rigid 4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-1-1 formation, instructing his brutish Neanderthals to fire their arrows into the air in a systematic fashion, apart from one maverick lone arrowman at the front, who was allowed to do whatever he wanted and escaped censure even when he sat in the corner of the trench sending text messages to his mates.
Harold of England, whose free-flowing game plan was exposed as a shambles when he was struck in the eye and died, uttered the famous final words: "We'd have won this if the pitch hadn't been so muddy."
|
|
|
Post by Deleted on Jun 6, 2014 14:48:22 GMT
Stoke goalmachine and part time Mexican Bandito Jonathan Walters once auditioned for a part as one of the members of the Juarez Cartel in Breaking Bad. he missed out as, when he saw the script, a particular section involved Jessie asking him "Can you score?" and Walters' brain exploded as he didn't understand the question.
|
|
|
Post by mattador78 on Jun 6, 2014 15:11:33 GMT
The slp boys are actually scholes and cartwright and are trying to get our opinion before any transfer swoops
|
|
|
Post by redstriper on Jun 6, 2014 16:56:30 GMT
Due to stoke being the oldest club in the world who play in red and white stripes, they receive a royalty from any other team donning the colours. Any shirt worn by such a team has to have "reproduced by kind permission of SCFC" hand stitched into the collar.
The amount of royalty payable varies upon an how much the shirt is seen on TV in any particular season multiplied by how big and successful a club is wearing it. Recently Athletico Madrid handed over £95,467.80 in royalties, and Sunderland handed over £1.38
|
|
|
Post by Trouserdog on Jun 6, 2014 17:13:29 GMT
Former left-back Lee Sandford used to motivate himself for matches by dipping his testicles into a cup of hot milk while imagining his own episodes of Bagpuss.
|
|
|
Post by robstokie on Jun 6, 2014 18:26:08 GMT
All stoke players signed under Tony Pulis had to be adjudged by an independent panel to be AAAAAAAAARD workers. These players were then signed over younger, more creative, cheaper players. Also, Pulis wanted all his signings to be built like brick shit houses, to have crazy eyes, skinheads AND deep bass voices (like Darth Vader) so they could scare the opposition into surrendering games.
|
|
|
Post by LDE76 on Jun 6, 2014 19:09:01 GMT
In order to while away the long coach journeys to and from away fixtures, Steven Nzonzi amuses himself by keeping count of Norbert Dentressangle lorries rather than Eddie Stobarts, which he deems to be "English and passé", or talking to his team-mates, whom he considers "dullards, philistines and misbegotten hograpers."
|
|
|
Post by Trouserdog on Jun 6, 2014 19:27:54 GMT
In 1988, a popular training ground game known as 'What's inside the rectum of Scott Barrett?' ended in a visit to A&E for our reserve goalkeeper, when a statuette of the Venus de Milo became lodged inside his colonic passage.
|
|
|
Post by onionman on Jun 6, 2014 19:33:15 GMT
In 1988, a popular training ground game known as 'What's inside the rectum of Scott Barrett?' ended in a visit to A&E for our reserve goalkeeper, when a statuette of the Venus de Milo became lodged inside his colonic passage. We're only supposed to be talking about stuff that didn't really happen mate.
|
|
|
Post by Deleted on Jun 6, 2014 19:48:53 GMT
Scholes and Cartwright don't even like pizza
|
|
|
Post by Deleted on Jun 6, 2014 19:50:07 GMT
Jon Walters shadow is whiter than him
|
|
|
Post by Deleted on Jun 6, 2014 19:54:19 GMT
Former left-back Lee Sandford used to motivate himself for matches by dipping his testicles into a cup of hot milk while imagining his own episodes of Bagpuss. That's definitely a made up fact cuz he used to dip his testicles into Alan Hudsons wife's mouth didn't he?
|
|
|
Post by Deleted on Jun 6, 2014 19:57:23 GMT
Every 6 months a swarm of retard zombies descend upon the Britannia Stadium.
Sorry...I'm thinking of transfer deadline day...
|
|
|
Post by Deleted on Jun 6, 2014 20:07:16 GMT
Robert Huth and Abdy Faye were the first interracial gay couple to get married in the UK. It is why Stafford-stokie has never been in the same gym as either of them for fear of being bummed
|
|
|
Post by Anto1962 on Jun 6, 2014 20:46:53 GMT
Frankie Soo was the second ever Chinese man to live in Stoke. The first was Mao Tse-tung who ran a Chip Shop on Ash Bank and played Crib for New Finney Gardens. That's bullshit, everyone knows he played for The White Lion
|
|
|
Post by redstriper on Jun 6, 2014 20:49:25 GMT
The Victoria ground was named after the clubs main sponsor Queen Victoria, who, saddened by the death of her husband Prince Albert of Saxe-Cobourg and Gotha two years earlier, plunged her energies into the development of the original team in 1863.
She was apparently touched by the plight of Notts County, who had turned pro the year before and had nobody to play against.
Her early plan was to populate the team entirely from her own offspring, but she only had nine children, and had to abandon the idea when her prime minsters, Gladstone and D'israeli refused to make up the numbers as they couldn't be seen to be on the same side on anything.
|
|
|
Post by arnieforpresident on Jun 6, 2014 21:13:52 GMT
In 2012 MI5 gained a warrant to raid the Youth Academy of excellence at the Britannia Stadium, it is believed this was following a Tip Off that Tony Pulis had been seen inside, it turned out not to actually be Tony Pulis but a secret Roland Rat Fan Club gathering.
|
|
|
Post by scarlet on Jun 6, 2014 22:46:25 GMT
English comedian Rowan Atkinson, father of referee Martin, lost his entire family fortune to Stoke players Glenn Whelan and Marc Wilson in an impromptu game of rock, scissor and paper at a North East Premier Inn on Christmas Day 2013.
|
|
|
Post by binthelplates on Jun 6, 2014 23:19:01 GMT
Bear Grylls got his break into television on the back his demonstration of survival skills on the Victoria Ground car park in the post match dash for the exit gate
|
|
|
Post by binthelplates on Jun 6, 2014 23:25:04 GMT
Mickey Thomas was inspiration for the TV show 'Cash in the Attic,
|
|
|
Post by thevoid on Jun 6, 2014 23:39:19 GMT
Feeling sorry for West Brom, as they found themselves 1-3 down to Stoke and heading for a 65th consecutive defeat against The Potters, the Stoke players decided to give their Black Country rivals a fighting chance by coming out in the second half and playing cards in the centre circle, rather than challenging for the ball and suchlike.
Stoke won the match 4-1.
|
|
|
Post by pyrus on Jun 7, 2014 4:15:19 GMT
Beneath the Britannia stadium there is a network of tunnels, bunkers, laboratories and living quarters over twenty levels deep. In the event of societal breakdown and widespread anarchy, the library, assets and artefacts of the nation's rules and conventions concerning etiquette will be relocated there. Access to the complex is a closely guarded secret, although many have speculated as to the real reason why the south east corner of the stadium has never been filled-in.
|
|
|
Post by Deleted on Jun 7, 2014 5:45:38 GMT
Mo Farah lists his inspirations as Haile Gabrselassi and Jon Walters
|
|
|
Post by Clayton Wood on Jun 7, 2014 6:45:02 GMT
The kick off to the 2008 home fixture against Arsenal was delayed by 15 minutes due to an administrative error. The rugby posts from the previous evenings junior 7's tournament had inadvertently been left in place. On exiting the tunnel the away manager was heard to utter mon Dieu before collapsing. The game was eventually played, Stoke winning 2-1 with a brace from fans favourite Fuller and a contentious penalty when Fabregas went down unchallenged in the centre circle.
|
|
|
Post by Deleted on Jun 7, 2014 7:56:22 GMT
The kick off to the 2008 home fixture against Arsenal was delayed by 15 minutes due to an administrative error. The rugby posts from the previous evenings junior 7's tournament had inadvertently been left in place. On exiting the tunnel the away manager was heard to utter m on Dieu before collapsing. The game was eventually played, Stoke winning 2-1 with a brace from fans favourite Fuller and a contentious penalty when Fabregas went down unchallenged in the centre circle. I thought we won 35-16 with thanks to tries from fuller,faye and oilyvagina and some expert kicking by Wilkinson??
|
|
|
Post by binthelplates on Jun 7, 2014 8:07:54 GMT
All future driving tests are to start from the South Car Park on match days. Candidates are required to wait until the final whistle before starting to drive. Unsuccessful candidates will be dropped off at Vale Park.
|
|
|
Post by bolders on Jun 7, 2014 10:20:53 GMT
On the eve of every home match an Arsenal fan is sacrificed as an offering to the mighty footballing gods and the centre circle is anointed with the blood of said vile sacrifice, this is why we are so strong at home and a completely a different team away.
|
|
|
Post by LDE76 on Jun 7, 2014 10:23:21 GMT
Upon signing for Stoke City, Geoff Cameron left a note in the pigeon-hole of kit manager Gary Worthington containing express instructions that he should always be provided with a short-sleeved shirt on matchdays. In his note, Geoff cited verbatim the Second Amendment to the US Constitution, which he insists affords him the right to bare arms.
|
|
|
Post by scarlet on Jun 7, 2014 10:26:27 GMT
90's Stoke striker David Xuasa didn't actually exist. He was named in one team line-up when manager Chris Kamara mixed up his team sheet with his Scrabble notes from the night before. During this unusually tense contest of the popular board game defender Jorg Sobiech insisted 'Xuasa' was the German word for 'who'.
|
|