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Post by GRUMPY 1 on Jan 13, 2008 22:22:52 GMT
There are 5 stages of sex:
1. Smurf sex; when you first meet & shag till you’re blue in the face.
2. Kitchen sex; when you’ve been together a short while & you’ll shag anywhere in the house.
3. Bedroom sex; when sex is routine & you’ll only shag in bed on an occasional night.
4. Hallway sex; when you pass in the hall and both say “fuck you”.
5. Courtroom sex; when she takes you to court & screws you in front of twenty witnesses.
Firemen have rescued an Irishman stuck to a condom machine.
They asked him “what happened”?
He said “the sign said insert £2 an push knob in.”
TIP FOR THE DAY:
Treat life’s little problems like your dog would………
If you can’t eat it or shag it…………………….
Piss on it and walk away!!!
Woman takes a virgin lad home for sex & wants a 69.
Boy asks “what’s that?”
“You put your head between my legs & I do the same to you”
When doin it she farts.
She says sorry and they start again.
She farts again and the boy gets up to leave.
“What are you doin?” she asks.
He says
“I’m not hangin around for another 67 of them!”
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