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Post by potter63 on Jul 13, 2011 13:12:05 GMT
Terrible news a very witty man a fantastic author and a huge stoke fan who will be sadly missed ,best wishes to Stephens family and god bless.
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Post by OldStokie on Jul 13, 2011 16:39:21 GMT
The funeral at the crematorium was dead good. Some lovely floral tributes. Although it was a private funeral, the place was packed, and many folk had to stand. winger was a spiritual bloke in many ways, but he wasn't really religious, so a priest did the rituals with that in mind, and he did them very well, and with a lot of respect for winger's semi-beliefs. There were some readings, including one from his favourite book, The Catcher in the Rye, one from his best mate Ben-the-Candlelighter, and then excerpts from the many condolences on here were read out by Ian-the-Farmer. We left the chapel to Diana Ross's 'Remember Me'. Most apt considering that once you got to know him, he was an unforgettable guy. There was a collection at the end for Greyhound Gap. We then decanted to winger and Trezza's house where everybody did the normal funeral stuff. A very special thanks to Delia here, because, besides herself and her husband - Michael-the-Smoker - paying their respects, she organised all the foodstuff FOC, and had her restaurant staff serving the many guests. Behind that facade of 'Let's be 'avin' yer', She's a really lovely lady. It was then a case (for me) of giving the Norwich supporters some gyp, especially when I told them that their forwards would be crying their eyes out when Huth and Shawcross were dragging them all over the place. I was ok until I touched his coffin at the end, told him 'You're like my arse, winger!', and my eldest grandson began crying when he said, 'I'll never see winger again'. His words said it all, and the world will be a poorer place because we won't. My lot got home at midnight on the dot. And today is a new day, but no days will ever be quite the same without winger-boy pestering me about something, or laughing until tears were running down his cheeks because he rushed me so much that I put my mobile in the washer still in my trouser pocket and it cost me £140 to replace it, or him telephoning me from the ground to say that his car had been locked in and he couldn't get home, so could he borrow my old banger to go back to Norwich, and he'd bring it back on Monday. I forgot to add that after I'd lent him the car, I got a load of verbals for weeks after because the radio didn't work and the only cd in the car was a Sigur Ros one, and he would hate Gobbledigook forever. So now my fervent hope is that St Peter has greeted him at the pearly gates with this... Hold on... OS.
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Post by Huddysleftfoot on Jul 13, 2011 17:51:39 GMT
The funeral at the crematorium was dead good. Some lovely floral tributes. Although it was a private funeral, the place was packed, and many folk had to stand. winger was a spiritual bloke in many ways, but he wasn't really religious, so a priest did the rituals with that in mind, and he did them very well, and with a lot of respect for winger's semi-beliefs. There were some readings, including one from his favourite book, The Catcher in the Rye, one from his best mate Ben-the-Candlelighter, and then excerpts from the many condolences on here were read out by Ian-the-Farmer. We left the chapel to Diana Ross's 'Remember Me'. Most apt considering that once you got to know him, he was an unforgettable guy. There was a collection at the end for Greyhound Gap. We then decanted to winger and Trezza's house where everybody did the normal funeral stuff. A very special thanks to Delia here, because, besides herself and her husband - Michael-the-Smoker - paying their respects, she organised all the foodstuff FOC, and had her restaurant staff serving the many guests. Behind that facade of 'Let's be 'avin' yer', She's a really lovely lady. It was then a case (for me) of giving the Norwich supporters some gyp, especially when I told them that their forwards would be crying their eyes out when Huth and Shawcross were dragging them all over the place. I was ok until I touched his coffin at the end, told him 'You're like my arse, winger!', and my eldest grandson began crying when he said, 'I'll never see winger again'. His words said it all, and the world will be a poorer place because we won't. My lot got home at midnight on the dot. And today is a new day, but no days will ever be quite the same without winger-boy pestering me about something, or laughing until tears were running down his cheeks because he rushed me so much that I put my mobile in the washer still in my trouser pocket and it cost me £140 to replace it, or him telephoning me from the ground to say that his car had been locked in and he couldn't get home, so could he borrow my old banger to go back to Norwich, and he'd bring it back on Monday. Hold on... OS. Outstanding and beautiful....thank you.
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Post by Cupid Stunt on Jul 13, 2011 20:33:18 GMT
Mick, do you know if there's going to be any kind of service in Stoke for Winger? As I said, only met him a few times but the two games he took me to last season really stand out as it was a new experience travelling to games with him and Graham, and it was something I really enjoyed.
Thanks Dom
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Post by eastbelfaststokie on Jul 13, 2011 23:07:06 GMT
didnt know da bloke but god bless a good stokie
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Post by jezzascfc on Jul 14, 2011 1:18:29 GMT
Thank you, Steve. Those are lovely memories. After being an artistic gayer, he was a proper football man. Take care. Now for you others, including those who didn't know him personally, I've put together a memorial vid of winger, which includes his quick dip in the sea at Nice in his underpants (typical winger), and many scenes from the infamous Dender Bender trip (done especially to piss Victor Momo off ), but also for many of his close family and for the friendships he created. His Mum and his son, Jack-the-Mogul, are also in it. In true winger style, although it's called The Final, I've treated that game like winger did the Norwich game in SSTL. The song is one of winger's favourite songs, chosen by his partner, Trezza, who is shown in the penultimate clip. If you wonder what the boys are doing at the end; they're saying exactly what I said to winger on many occasions: You're like my arse, Boy! The Final.OS. Top job, Mick. Done him proud!
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Post by Lakeland Potter on Jul 14, 2011 5:39:18 GMT
Mick, do you know if there's going to be any kind of service in Stoke for Winger? As I said, only met him a few times but the two games he took me to last season really stand out as it was a new experience travelling to games with him and Graham, and it was something I really enjoyed. Thanks Dom Cupid, if you look back a page or so at one of Mick's (OS's) earlier posts on this thread, I'm sure he said there are plans for a memorial service (or some sort of event) in Stoke. Mick - that was excellent, mate. I bet winger will have had a chuckle - even though he will think you are a big sentimental softy for putting it on here. Glad the day went well - if anyone deserved a good send off it was winger. John
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Post by greyman on Jul 14, 2011 5:55:54 GMT
Cupid
I've emailed you
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Post by meltonjohn on Jul 14, 2011 9:22:16 GMT
Read these meassage over the past couple of weeks with great sadness. Never met the guy but loved his books on Stoke. We'll be with you Winger. Condolences to all the family.
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Post by leicspotter on Jul 14, 2011 15:14:31 GMT
Very moving Mick. Thanks
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Post by brandyandcoke on Jul 14, 2011 17:27:19 GMT
hey OS great to be with your family in norwich on tuesday,this realy is good for me to see all the kind words from fellow stokies !! i,ll never be a footie supporter i dont suppose!! but if you,ll accept me as an honary OATCAKE FAMILY member, i,d be delighted. i could send the odd weather report from spain,and inform you what i caught fishing !! but seriously thanks everyone... what a top bunch !! love bumble and family XXX
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Post by elystokie on Jul 14, 2011 18:36:53 GMT
hey OS great to be with your family in norwich on tuesday,this realy is good for me to see all the kind words from fellow stokies !! i,ll never be a footie supporter i dont suppose!! but if you,ll accept me as an honary OATCAKE FAMILY member, i,d be delighted. i could send the odd weather report from spain,and inform you what i caught fishing !! but seriously thanks everyone... what a top bunch !! love bumble and family XXX You'll hopefully find that any relative/friend of wingers' is a friend of The Oatie b+c. All the tributes are very well deserved, he'll be much missed for years to come. Don't be a stranger
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Post by kaney78 on Jul 15, 2011 23:58:59 GMT
Loved his book.sad news.r.i.p.
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Post by salopstick on Jul 16, 2011 13:43:50 GMT
great post oldstokie about the funeral - i attended the funeral of a stoke fan two weeks ago and it was very similar. every one wore red and white or stoke shirts. put s alot of things into perspective
i see this has been upinned - no arguments about that but just a quick point about threads like this and the one about for "do it for those we have loved". should they just be allowed to drift to the nether regions of the board? or should there be a place to keep easily accessible the truly great threads, not just for stoke fans but for those from other clubs that frequent this board
a sub board of those were the days may work?
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Post by Lakeland Potter on Jul 16, 2011 16:28:02 GMT
Salop, that is a great idea about keeping threads about departed Stokies in one place. There was at least one massive thread about Big Ade when he passed on in January - that is another thread which, like this one, deserves a place of honour. I think I'll pm admin and ask if they could sort out a sub board.
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Post by Davef on Jul 16, 2011 16:35:08 GMT
I was actually thinking about moving it to the Those Were The Days board earlier.
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Post by Lakeland Potter on Jul 16, 2011 16:36:23 GMT
Cheers Dave - I've just PM'd Sal about it - all that work for nowt! Edit - I think Big Ade's thread is also worth moving.
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Post by salopstick on Jul 16, 2011 18:19:02 GMT
I was actually thinking about moving it to the Those Were The Days board earlier. Cheers dave
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Post by OldStokie on Jul 16, 2011 22:35:57 GMT
Thank you, Dave. I was about to write about the memorial that we held today and I was going to suggest that afterwards, it was time to wrap it up. But moving it to here is the perfect solution. About the memorial. It was decided to hold it at Mow Cop Castle today, Saturday 16th July, but because the logistics of parking meant that we couldn't make it an open event, it had to be a semi-private affair. My apologies to anyone who feels they have been left out, but considering that the car park was packed to capacity with those attending the funeral and those who wanted to visit the castle, greyman and I who were organising it think we got it just about right. My thanks to Mark (greyman) for all the work he put into getting it right. As usual, my minder was there to lead me through the difficult parts. All winger's family were there, including his mum, who is not well, and was unable to attend the funeral in Norwich. In reality, this memorial was for her to pay her respects to her son, and we managed to organise that. Along with Carole his mum and her husband John, his sister Diane and her family came from up north to attend, brother Bumble and his wife Sam came from Spain, Jack-the-Mogul and his mum were there, and so was Trezza. It wasn't a long affair, but it was very meaningful as a way of celebrating winger's life in the city he came from, and in a spot that he loved. The dress code was red and white, and we began the memorial with a rousing Delilah that would have put block 19 to shame. I read out a few apologies from MCF, Pmac, and RAF (who sent the most beautiful flower arrangement of a Stoke shirt with a number 7 on it, which was the number winger always had on his shirt, but the Lancaster bomber he ordered for the fly past was 20 minutes late), and also from Smudge who had to attend a swimming gala down south with his son. Graham Etherington gave a lovely speech, and then winger's beloved brother, Bumble, made the most moving speech I've ever heard. If you read this Bumble, your brother would have been immensely proud of you. (I know he already was, but you did him proud today, boy.) The very immediate family spent a few moments alone up at the castle, and then the meeting broke up. Some decanted to a pub, and some went home. My thanks to all those who made it, especially to those who travelled so far to be there, including Sitheroo who drove up from Bournemouth, Mike who travelled from Bristol, AndyP from Leeds, and winger's special friends who came from Norwich. Finally, can I thank everyone for their condolences and kind words on this thread. Both at the funeral and at the memorial, your words were mentioned, and were an inspiration to Trezza and Jack and all winger's family. As Raf said on the gay flowers he sent you, and as Bumble said in his fine speech, we've lost somebody who was very special to so many people, but we won't forget you. So, R.I.P. winger. OS.
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Post by andysith on Jul 17, 2011 14:31:18 GMT
hey up, old stokie.
i'm back in the beautiful south now. everyone there, especially you and greyman in sorting it all out, did winger proud yesterday.
if i may blow smoke up all your arses for a sec... after all the messages, on here and awag and everywhere, about how helpful stephen was, the hospitality i was shown over the last couple of days, from people i've not met before (mikr's, (the vale fan - so it's the whole (6) towns not just stokies), parents put me up) goes a long way to show how it's the mentality of coming from stoke that made winger the man he was. you're all ace and you should all be very proud of that.
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Post by njkk on Jul 17, 2011 20:34:49 GMT
A bitter sweet occasion yesterday, very sad to be saying goodbye to such a fantastic friend and top Stokie, but wonderful to stand for a time with those who knew and loved the man, and listen to the heartfelt tributes from his family & friends
Many thanks to Old Stokie & Greyman for organising the memorial, I'm sure Winger would have been proud.
There's not many folk who'd get a turnout like that on a wet & windy Saturday up Mow Cop, just a shame he wasn't there to enjoy it
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andypleedsstokie
Academy Starlet
All aboard the Stoke City football special. Destination: New Direction
Posts: 144
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Post by andypleedsstokie on Jul 17, 2011 23:29:05 GMT
I've been wanting to produce a more worthy tribute to Stephen ever since my brief message here on the 30th June, but have struggled to get past a terrible sense of sadness, a feeling can't really put words to, but just left me incapable of getting very far without giving up. But following the memorial service on Saturday which Stephen would have undoubtedly called "sensational", and was an uplifting, moving, and humorous celebration of his life, I felt it was time to gerron wi' eet, stop fannying abite, and gerrit sorted. So here it is... My first encounter with Stephen was not in person, but his book "She Stood There Laughing". Reading it I felt several emotions. First off he spoke for me almost perfectly, describing that season in a way that I'd agree with 99% of his views. Secondly he repeatedly made me laugh out loud, startling fellow bus passengers in the process. Thirdly he made me envious. I harboured a dream of becoming a writer myself, and working on the old adage of "write about what you know" I'd considered doing something about my home town or Stoke City. However here was an author who had produced the sentiment of what I'd wanted to say, but had written it in such an eloquent and witty style that I could never have managed. The talented swine! I realised I'd best stick to the day job! Having read the book and learnt that "Winger" on the Oatcake Messageboard and Stephen were one of the same, I enjoyed following and contributing to threads that Winger and fellow "Pulis Hating Wankstains" frequented. Like his book his posts were articulate, sharp, reasoned, well observed, and very funny. I could usually rely him to back me up when I expressed a non-conformist opinion. Somehow, and the exact details elude me for once, I got roped in to a weekend away in Brussels, and a trip to watch Johan Boskamp's FCV Dender. Probably invited myself along more than likely. This was the first time I was to meet Stephen in person. By this point I'd read more of his works, including the awesome "It cracks like breaking skin", and I half worried that he might demonstrate the sort of self-importance bordering on arrogance, a trait one often finds with people that have obtained some fame or notoriety. I feared sharp put downs or sarcasm which also often go with the territory of the artiste. Yet I should not have worried, because Stephen is from Stoke, and so possessed that down to earth nature forged with self-deprecating humour that so many people of the Potteries exude. Yes there was banter. Yes my lengthy detailed instructions on how to navigate the Brussels Metro system and find the hotel were read out loud for the group's amusement, along with my propensity to use lots of exclamation marks, but there was no malice in this performance. Just good hearty ribbing, the sort mates give out all the time, the sort that indicates genuine affection. As I said in my previous message I will treasure the memories of that weekend forever, there were more laughs than I can possibly recall. That weekend led to greater contact: meetings at games, emails, text messages, blog post replies, all containing the trademark eloquence and wit. I spent 6 months in 2009 living in the USA with my American girlfriend to "see how things go". (They went alright as it happens - in September 2010 she became my "latest wife" as Old Stokie described her at the memorial service!) I wasn't allowed to work as a visitor in the USA so had plenty of time on my hands. This led to the honour of proof reading "And She Laughed No more". Stephen was also kind enough to give his frank, detailed and valuable constructive criticism of two short stories of my own that I sent him. The first needed much improvement, but the second was much better, enthusiastically received and to get that sort of praise from a writer I respected meant a great deal to me. In the email exchange about the stories he asked who my literary heroes were. I couldn't tell him at the time that he was one of them, but I can at least tell you all now. In "And She Laughed No More" Stephen very kindly included a comment of mine, one of my replies to his blog. He also kindly wrote alongside it that I was a person who lived his life to a code, to a set of principles, something that impressed him and he admired. Well the feeling is mutual. Stephen is someone I admired a huge amount, was a hero, and an inspiration to me. Maybe because he was someone I could relate to - fellow Stoke exile, working class background turned "middle class gayer" who appreciated the arts, the beauty of the English language, and a decent bottle of wine as much as a trip to the Brit and a cheese oatcake, and someone who confessed that writing didn't come easy for him, constant rewrites and much turmoil before something approaching satisfaction with the result is achieved. I felt an affinity with Stephen because of all of these things. But more simply than that, because he was a decent, genuine, caring, generous, funny person who would go out of his way to help you. My regret is that I didn't get to spend more time in person with you Stephen to tell you all of that, and that I won't be able to share tales of the new addition to our family - a RSPCA rescue whippet-cross that I think you would have certainly approved of and enjoyed meeting. It's so sad that you've gone, but there's so much to celebrate about your life. From Saturday's service it was obvious that you have touched so many people's lives in a positive way. Rest in peace lad.
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Post by OldStokie on Jul 18, 2011 6:44:50 GMT
>she became my "latest wife" Well... was I wrong, or are you living over the brush? Nice words Sitheroo and Nick and Andy. The part I thought was funniest at the memorial was when Bumble in his dreadlocks was fucking and blinding when them old ramblers were walking past. I saw one old woman staring at him open mouthed and gobsmacked at what he was saying. He looked like a white Yardie, and sounded like one. Yo bumble! OS.
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andypleedsstokie
Academy Starlet
All aboard the Stoke City football special. Destination: New Direction
Posts: 144
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Post by andypleedsstokie on Jul 18, 2011 8:04:41 GMT
Well OS Tina is my latest wife, but she's my only one to date. I've managed to avoid marriage for 38 years! It tickled me as it made me sound like a male Liz Taylor! Bumble was ace. Sadly I was not at the right angle to see the horrified rambler. I would have enjoyed that little piece of drama, and I'm sure so too would have Winger. Sorry to those expecting us at the pub. We tried to find it but from what my Owd Man said later, we turned back a little too early thinking we'd missed it. Plus we had to get back to my parents' to collect the step-son and hound as they were off to friends' for tea. I would have liked to pop in for a swift jar.
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Post by fauntleroyesq on Jul 18, 2011 8:52:55 GMT
Thanks again OS for organising a truly fitting tribute for Steve. Laughter, tears and a Lancaster bomber - it was like a 70s cup final! I was banned by the missus (Diane) from wearing my Sunderland colours but enjoyed the banter afterwards with a few of the Stokies. Had a good chat with Graham about Jones, Collins and Cattermole (can't you put an offer in for him please?). Also birdwatching - we have our fair share of rare ones in Hartlepool (Stoke on Sea as Steve called it!). It's a cliche but once again, football proved what a great uniting force it is, often for good. You're all more than welcome for a catch up and pint when we play you - or up at Hartlepool if you get drawn there again (time for revenge?) Bless you all, xx
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Post by jimmygscfc on Jul 18, 2011 10:20:26 GMT
I just want to say a big thank you to OS (and Mark) for organising the service. I felt privileged to be there and proud to be a Stoke fan. I'm so glad I made the trip up and that evening toasted Winger's memory with a glass or three of very fine red wine. I'm sure he would have approved. Rest in peace mate, and keep an eye on us all.
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Post by plummymum on Jul 22, 2011 10:25:17 GMT
Hi Sorry to crash your board, I don't have any affiliation to Stoke other than my cousin made your reserves team a number of years back I went to Uni with Steve and I was at the funeral where I heard some of the tributes that had been written on here. Just wanted to pop on and read about the Stoke memorial. The posts are all really lovely, what a great bunch you are!
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Post by hammer on Aug 20, 2011 9:00:06 GMT
I am a West Ham fan who always enjoyed Stephen's books. Even though I do not support Stoke, I still found a real connection with his very funny books. Shocking and sad news - RIP.
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Post by Caerwrangonpotter on Aug 20, 2011 10:56:01 GMT
Reading "And she laughed no more...." for the 5th or 6th time last night to get through a night shift
Still a great great read. Pretty sure that Stephen would be watching down on Carrow Road this Sunday & smiling as the Potters run out
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Post by OldStokie on Aug 21, 2011 10:04:46 GMT
Thanks hammer for your kind words. Delia has invited his partner Trezza and his son Jack to the game this afternoon, and my lad and my grandson are also there. Young Sam is carrying the colours... he's wearing winger's scarf. Goooaaarrrnnn Stoke! OS.
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