There have been better threads, but it was up there.
Which threads mate? If theyre better than the 'craig thread' id like to read them. I remember laughing out loud whilst sitting on the settee whilst my lady was watching eastenders. Epic thread. Im chuckling now just thinking about it.
What are the main challenges facing the new government? You mean apart from a total lack of political nous and knowledge of the real world? The central problem is the lack of true radicalism. When this country was great, we didn't have the welfare state, a National Health Service or free education. What we did have was an empire, no income tax and a fucking big navy. You don't need a PhD to work it out, do you?
I feel sad that I never read or took part in the 'gruntle' thread. Can someone please explain the general jist of it and why it was so funny.
The story begins...
It was a warm summer night. The air, thick with the perfume of flowering tulips, moths, and the sound of the boy racers down behind B&Q, sat still, rustling against the venetian blinds.
Jimmy Cooper listened for a moment, his breathing still heavy after the last passing tremors of his third wank of the day. At peace after watching 'Big Black Butts 13', he tossed the wad of spent toilet paper towards the already overflowing, perma-stained bin.
Without pausing to wash his hands, or even pull his kegs up, Jimmy logged on to the Oatcake fanzine. Joe Ledley fever had taken over many of the main board's natives, and he felt strangely isolated.
"Fuck signing that Welsh prick", he muttered to himself.
The last few days weeks had seen him become more and more hooked on the site's general discussion board. The casual use of the "cunt" as a term of endearment, the way the posters there seemed so happy, and a desire to find out if "MermaidSal" was actually a woman (and if so, a need to find her on facebook and wank over her poorly protected profile) had drawn him in. He was posting more frequently, desperate to be called a "cunt" by the wild inhabitants of the GDB, with moderate success. They seemed to be warming to him. 'Boother' was arguing about the merits of Catholicism, Rocket88 was calling the Pope "a paedo". All was calm.
He cooly clicked on a thread, the glow draining from his cheeks, leaving them their usual milk-white colour- the mark of keyboard warrior,- as the memory of Latisha Del Montoya's big ebony arse cheeks faded from his mind's eye.
" "Asking my stoke mad bf to marry me tonight" Sounds interesting", he murmured. Life would never be the same again...
'Vennottery1981', the alphanumerical guise of what appeared to be a woman, had started the thread. She said that she planned to ask Craig 'Mr lover-lover' Lowe, a sprightly, active Bentilee youth, with Mediterranean good looks and a huge package, to marry her, via facebook, a steamy lovers' paradise of hot wenches in their holiday pictures, perfect for teenage masturbatory purposes. Jimmy sipped from the ice cold glass of Magners by the side of his computer. A fly, buzzed, like a metaphor for the futility of human existence, against the open window.
"That's a bit fucking weird."
It seemed Jimmy was not alone. Vennottery, (or 'V' as we shall refer to her from now on) seemed incapable of basic human speech.
"How tragic", Jimmy thought, shaking his head. "She obviously loves him and her obvious retardations and/or hand deformities (both leading to poorly typed posts) can not stop that."
He drank deep from the cider, thinking bitterly about the slag who had betrayed him weeks earlier. Fucking sket. Tears of anguish, like metaphors for the milk of human pain, rolled down his face.