Mav
Youth Player
Posts: 339
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Post by Mav on Apr 2, 2010 16:27:03 GMT
When a short, fat, balding man shouts to you, you ignore him. When he shouts “You’re number 1” you quicken the pace of your stride and walk away as fast as you can. Not if you’re John Ruiz. John Ruiz embraced me, in a non-gay way, like I embrace a cool bowl of coco pops after doing some intesive weight training. He looked me in the eye, and with a thundery voice like that of God himself he said to me “Yeah!” The words of a true champion. I had waited outside in the cold with about 50 other people for John Ruiz, or possibly David Haye, to leave the building where they had their weigh in. Ruiz, a trim and muscular 239 pounds, and David Haye, a pumped up 222 pounds. Me, myself, I weighed in at the morning at a pretty reasonable 154 lbs, plus some holiday weight, injury weight, water weight, and excess weight. So I waited outside, my wife with me, and we waited for the former WBA champion. I grew tired, I couldn’t see too much at the weigh in, I wish I had packed my Height Enhancement Socks. Finally, with a roar from the ever increasing crowd, John Ruiz comes out, with his trademark Gamekeepers hat on. He had some bodyguards asking people to move out the way, but John, being John, took his precious time and signed things, took photos, chatted with the fans. He had this, and it is hard to explain, shining light coming from out of his whole body. He looked like an Angel, but better, and with a designer beard. “You get in the photo with John Ruiz!” I say to my wife, as my heart pumps harder and faster than it does normally, it was like I was climbing some stairs. “No, you get in the photo, this is your time” she replies, remembering why I married her, she always puts my non-gay love for John Ruiz first. I shove the camera in her hand and with my trembling man-legs I make my way towards the man who has inspired me to first put my man-fingers to keyboard and write about his greatness. I know a lot about John Ruiz. More than most people. I know he likes to read opera scripts, he likes to listen to Al Green and Johnny Cash, he once wrote a screenplay which was rejected by HBO and was titled “Becoming the Champ”. It was about a down and out guy, written off after being knocked out, who fought the hard way up the ranks for his chance at the title. I also know that John Ruiz likes to look people in the eye, and thinks a strong handshake is the hallmark of a trust worthy man. I walk up to John Ruiz, looking at him straight in the eye, with my man-hand held out for a firm, non-gay, shake. I didn’t get to shake his hand. Some twat with a Chelsea flag knocked me out of the way, I tripped over and was on the floor. My whole John Ruiz related life flashed before my Baby Blues, my wife didn’t seem to notice I was almost knocked out and lying on the floor. She was perving on John Ruiz. Suddenly, as fast as Bill from True Blood, John Ruiz spun around and zeroed in on me on the floor. He literally picked me up, before stopping and asking the bodyguard he was with to help him because he feared he may hurt his back before the fight. “Are you ok?” John Ruiz said. His eyes could only be described as lion like, if you look at the picture of the lion on a lion bar you will know the eyes I am talking of. “John Ruiz I got you number 1 above Ali, you are going to win for sure…” I was going to continue talking when a roar came from the crowd, and people ran from around John Ruiz to meet David Haye who was just leaving the building. Without so much as signing an autograph, he jumped in his black Audi TT and f***ed off, probably back to Cyprus, the ponce. John Ruiz smiled at me, the only man to stay behind with John Ruiz, the rest wanting to see David Haye. “Can I get a picture with you Mighty John please sir?” I asked. “Mighty John huh? I like it!” My wife lined up the shot and John Ruiz smiled, while I looked like a guy about to get hit by a bus which had big boobies strapped to the front of it. John Ruiz can have that effect on a guy. I thanked Ruiz for the picture and asked him if he liked Stoke City “I love Stoke City! They are the all about hard work, honesty, tenaciousness and mixed with skill.” He said. “Just like you John, just like you.”I managed to tell him about my charity boxing match with Mark TKO and he wished me look and says he thinks if I show this much passion all the time I will win the fight. At this point some other fans tried to get in with the John Ruiz crowd and his bodyguard asked me to move on, and John gave me a hug and told me he will wave to me from the ring. As he got in his car and drove off I banged on his window like the scene from Overboard, he put his fist up to me. I was the only pro-Ruiz man in the crowd, and if anyone was there, that was me shouting “RUIZ NUMBER 1” I know it, he knows it, you know it. Come Saturday night, David Haye will know it. P.S Picture quality is bad because I had to take a photo of a photo to get it on the laptop.
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Post by Scanner on Apr 2, 2010 16:35:17 GMT
If you like (have a disturbing fixation of) Ruiz then why did you have your photo taken with Lennox Lewis!
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Post by Meggsy on Apr 2, 2010 16:35:51 GMT
Honestly, that was a bit gay.
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Post by sheikhmomo on Apr 2, 2010 16:36:23 GMT
Nice post, sadly (for you) Ruiz will be stopped in 8!
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Post by westmidspotter on Apr 2, 2010 16:37:28 GMT
i hope haye knocks him the fuck out man and you sound well gay fuck the yank i hope he goes down in the first !!!!!
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Post by westmidspotter on Apr 2, 2010 16:37:56 GMT
did you bum him ?????????????????????????
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Post by hitman on Apr 2, 2010 16:39:29 GMT
cracking post, and through all the build up to this fight ruiz has come across a lovely bloke, you will get chance shag him tomorrow night when haye lays him flat on his back! david haye...... the heavyweight champion and the peoples champion!
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Post by GeneralFaye on Apr 2, 2010 16:50:56 GMT
Haye is English but he's a bit of a twat imo!
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Post by stokecityscott on Apr 2, 2010 16:51:02 GMT
Cracking post and he seems a lovely guy unlike the big headed Haye.
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Post by sage on Apr 2, 2010 17:09:06 GMT
Er...what did I just read?? ???
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Post by scfcmacca on Apr 2, 2010 17:13:50 GMT
you sound gay you look gay the only thing unconvincing is you say you own a wife ;d
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Post by Done it for scfcbuxton on Apr 2, 2010 17:16:42 GMT
Haye better win, and in style not too early but in style, because I've paid nearly 70 notes for a ticket!
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Post by Orbs on Apr 2, 2010 17:25:05 GMT
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Post by Jamo on the wing on Apr 2, 2010 17:29:46 GMT
Good post, sounds like you enjoyed yourself mate.
Ruiz has been a very good pro and he's a two time champion so it won't all go Haye's way, although I feel that Ruiz may just be starting to wind down and go through the motions a bit.
Haye's stock is high and it's a heavyweight title defence in England, I don't see any other outcome than a home win no matter what happens.
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Post by PottersBrim on Apr 2, 2010 17:44:25 GMT
That was the most surreal and possibly brilliant post I've read in a long, long time.
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Post by hitman on Apr 2, 2010 18:10:57 GMT
Haye better win, and in style not too early but in style, because I've paid nearly 70 notes for a ticket! you and me both bud!
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Post by alphastokie on Apr 2, 2010 19:00:20 GMT
Unfortunately Fantana, I too know quite a bit about John Ruiz. I watched him stopped inside a round by David Tua and losing on points to Roy Jones and Evander Holyfield when both opponents were well beyond their best. The Giant dispatched him twice without breaking sweat as did several other second string fighters down the years.
He has made a living and career by being a credible opponent for any number of former champions with a reputation of putting up a good fight without offering any great threat and by being very beatable.
Nice man I grant you and a good durable heavyweight down the years , but as a boxing fan I have to say the guy has in my opinion never been involved in an exciting fight and I have seen them all. He is not known as the Quiet Man for nothing.
Come Saturday night I feel John will know who David Haye is.
Glad you enjoyed your time with him and a super memory to savour.
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Post by scar on Apr 2, 2010 19:00:34 GMT
Enjoyed reading that..you ought to be a writer!
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Post by Los Alfareros on Apr 2, 2010 19:15:12 GMT
Reading that, on a SCFC message board, and then seeing the picture sort of reminded me of my days on acid.
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Post by MrDBrent on Apr 2, 2010 19:20:26 GMT
Fantana with his dog
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Post by jacka118 on Apr 2, 2010 22:32:11 GMT
Goarn Haye!
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Post by Funky on Apr 2, 2010 22:43:21 GMT
When a short, fat, balding man shouts to you, you ignore him. When he shouts “You’re number 1” you quicken the pace of your stride and walk away as fast as you can. Not if you’re John Ruiz. John Ruiz embraced me, in a non-gay way, like I embrace a cool bowl of coco pops after doing some intesive weight training. He looked me in the eye, and with a thundery voice like that of God himself he said to me “Yeah!” The words of a true champion. I had waited outside in the cold with about 50 other people for John Ruiz, or possibly David Haye, to leave the building where they had their weigh in. Ruiz, a trim and muscular 239 pounds, and David Haye, a pumped up 222 pounds. Me, myself, I weighed in at the morning at a pretty reasonable 154 lbs, plus some holiday weight, injury weight, water weight, and excess weight. So I waited outside, my wife with me, and we waited for the former WBA champion. I grew tired, I couldn’t see too much at the weigh in, I wish I had packed my Height Enhancement Socks. Finally, with a roar from the ever increasing crowd, John Ruiz comes out, with his trademark Gamekeepers hat on. He had some bodyguards asking people to move out the way, but John, being John, took his precious time and signed things, took photos, chatted with the fans. He had this, and it is hard to explain, shining light coming from out of his whole body. He looked like an Angel, but better, and with a designer beard. “You get in the photo with John Ruiz!” I say to my wife, as my heart pumps harder and faster than it does normally, it was like I was climbing some stairs. “No, you get in the photo, this is your time” she replies, remembering why I married her, she always puts my non-gay love for John Ruiz first. I shove the camera in her hand and with my trembling man-legs I make my way towards the man who has inspired me to first put my man-fingers to keyboard and write about his greatness. I know a lot about John Ruiz. More than most people. I know he likes to read opera scripts, he likes to listen to Al Green and Johnny Cash, he once wrote a screenplay which was rejected by HBO and was titled “Becoming the Champ”. It was about a down and out guy, written off after being knocked out, who fought the hard way up the ranks for his chance at the title. I also know that John Ruiz likes to look people in the eye, and thinks a strong handshake is the hallmark of a trust worthy man. I walk up to John Ruiz, looking at him straight in the eye, with my man-hand held out for a firm, non-gay, shake. I didn’t get to shake his hand. Some twat with a Chelsea flag knocked me out of the way, I tripped over and was on the floor. My whole John Ruiz related life flashed before my Baby Blues, my wife didn’t seem to notice I was almost knocked out and lying on the floor. She was perving on John Ruiz. Suddenly, as fast as Bill from True Blood, John Ruiz spun around and zeroed in on me on the floor. He literally picked me up, before stopping and asking the bodyguard he was with to help him because he feared he may hurt his back before the fight. “Are you ok?” John Ruiz said. His eyes could only be described as lion like, if you look at the picture of the lion on a lion bar you will know the eyes I am talking of. “John Ruiz I got you number 1 above Ali, you are going to win for sure…” I was going to continue talking when a roar came from the crowd, and people ran from around John Ruiz to meet David Haye who was just leaving the building. Without so much as signing an autograph, he jumped in his black Audi TT and f***ed off, probably back to Cyprus, the ponce. John Ruiz smiled at me, the only man to stay behind with John Ruiz, the rest wanting to see David Haye. “Can I get a picture with you Mighty John please sir?” I asked. “Mighty John huh? I like it!” My wife lined up the shot and John Ruiz smiled, while I looked like a guy about to get hit by a bus which had big boobies strapped to the front of it. John Ruiz can have that effect on a guy. I thanked Ruiz for the picture and asked him if he liked Stoke City “I love Stoke City! They are the all about hard work, honesty, tenaciousness and mixed with skill.” He said. “Just like you John, just like you.”I managed to tell him about my charity boxing match with Mark TKO and he wished me look and says he thinks if I show this much passion all the time I will win the fight. At this point some other fans tried to get in with the John Ruiz crowd and his bodyguard asked me to move on, and John gave me a hug and told me he will wave to me from the ring. As he got in his car and drove off I banged on his window like the scene from Overboard, he put his fist up to me. I was the only pro-Ruiz man in the crowd, and if anyone was there, that was me shouting “RUIZ NUMBER 1” I know it, he knows it, you know it. Come Saturday night, David Haye will know it. P.S Picture quality is bad because I had to take a photo of a photo to get it on the laptop. As I started to read this post, my heart started to beat faster and faster, I could hear voices in my head that could of easily been the great man Ruiz himself talking to me from way up high, the voices got louder and clearer until in a syncronised raw like one from a Stoke City home game I finally realised what they were saying. STALKER STALKER STALKER.
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Post by kidsgrove4 on Apr 3, 2010 0:39:53 GMT
He'll get knocked out with a 'Haye maker'.
What's your wife's name?
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Post by Cyprusdelilah on Apr 3, 2010 7:42:37 GMT
Got me worried for a bit then, that hazy picture you looked like me dad.
Then later on you mention Cyprus.
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Post by chrispk76 on Apr 3, 2010 9:17:02 GMT
He'll get knocked out with a 'Haye maker'. What's your wife's name? Derek
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Post by french toast on Apr 3, 2010 11:30:01 GMT
im english and want the englishman to win
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Post by Inverness Stokie on Apr 3, 2010 11:39:46 GMT
Haye is English but he's a bit of a twat imo! A bit? Good boxer but like a lot of them he's got his head so far up his own arse it's un-real.
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Post by Done it for scfcbuxton on Apr 3, 2010 11:46:07 GMT
Haye is English but he's a bit of a twat imo! A bit? Good boxer but like a lot of them he's got his head so far up his own arse it's un-real. Do you not think a boxer has to portray an image of a man who thinks he's unbeatable. If he thinks he can be beaten then he will be beaten
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Post by french toast on Apr 3, 2010 11:47:01 GMT
he brings a bit of charisma to the heavyweight division, which has been characterless for years
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Mav
Youth Player
Posts: 339
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Post by Mav on Apr 3, 2010 17:17:56 GMT
I wore a hat in this picture because my big ears kept distracting from the banner and someone kept shouting dumbo to me when I was walking around with the banner. Been wearing my Stoke shirt in Mancland all day, ran into a few other sets of fans, and 3 hull lads when we were 1 - 0 up. They were alright! God Bless John Ruiz
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