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Post by Stafford-Stokie on Feb 3, 2009 8:39:28 GMT
This is one of the funniest rants I have ever seen on a message board.Silly *****. We're fucked. We have a second rate keeper inbetween the sticks who made a few routine saves the other night, including the penalty stop, which bizarrely saw him lauded as some modern day Lev Yashin or Peter Schmeichel. Our captain is fucking useless and way, way our of his depth at this level yet seemingly, and embarassingly, undroppable. Fans around the country laugh like fuck whenever they play us knowing it's almost a certain three points. I'm sick of seeing these smug ***** from shit tips like Sunderland tip up at the KC, laugh in my face, your face, every **** associated with our club's face and then fuck off home with three points safely, and easily, tucked away in their back pocket. Then you have their cunting teams come over and celebrate like it's a cup final while our fucktards slope off to, probably, gay up in the communial bath. Even Stoke fans laugh at us. Fucking Stoke fans. The biggest set of six-fingered, iliterate, sister shagging fucks this side of Lincolnshire. Bernard Mendy is a Frenchman. A fucking Frenchman. Our defence, the best centre half in the world aside, is cack squared. We'll get arse raped by an under strength Chelsea side on Saturday. Many would say we probably should get beat by last season's European Cup semi-finalists and they may well be right but the weekend's game will see us crushed beyond all belief. They brushed us aside with ease when we were in a rich vein of form, Saturday could be scary. Fagan and Garcia upfront is the worst strikeforce in the history of the Premier League. And that includes Fjortoft and Mutch at Swindon. Phil Brown has lost his marbles. Anyone who plays the above duo must be more than a tad fucked in the head. Marlon King will score the winner against us when we travel to Fiddlesbrough. We have five good players. Michael Turner is the only one who's guaranteed a place. Bernard Mendy's Frenchness keeps him out of the side on occasion, Geovanni and Myhill have been unwisely dropped and Jimmy Bullard is a crip and by that I mean cripple as opposed to an L.A. gang member. Word. The rest of our squad - barring a handful of average to decent larkers - is on a par with Derby's last year and that shit Sunderland mob from whenever it was. Our great African hope Kamil Zayette has turned into Nicky Mohan and won't improve. We've been attempting to punch well above our weight this Transfer Window and have been stung as a result. Sensible targets have been missed out on because we've been chasing Wops with exotic names and mystery gadges who will "blow our socks off". Get fucked. I hate the **** but someone like James Beattie is far more our level. I'd put him on a par with Kevin Kilbane. We should have been looking at best at ***** who can't/couldn't get in other Premier League sides and would perhaps have a point to prove. Anthony Gardner is Alton Thelwell. We somehow have been tricked into giving a Manchester United reserve player a bit of top flight experience. How? Why? Is Phil Brown that desperate to snare Frazier Campbell that he's become Alex Ferguson's prank monkey beyatch puppet? Manucho is an experiment that hasn't and most certainly won't work. Duffman is a liar. He said he had today in hand. Cock in hand more like. One win from fifteen says it all. We are proper fucked. The only way is down. On the plus side, getting a ticket for Championship away games won't be a problem. Away Direct may be going but so will all the cunting know-nowt fucks who broke limbs jumping on the bandwagon during the summer. Smart. If we resign Simon Trevitt and move back to Fer Ark I'll be in heaven. Football is all about the misery and I can't see myself being more miserable than I am right now. Fuck off. The thread. ;D www.ambernectar.org/phpBB3/viewtopic.php?f=1&t=4933&st=0&sk=t&sd=a&start=780
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Post by cousindupree on Feb 3, 2009 8:43:02 GMT
Spot on there fella...Fabulous post ..he could be the Bard of Hull...such eloquence p.s. Not sure about Nicky Mohan though
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Post by MrBigJobby on Feb 3, 2009 8:44:25 GMT
and we all thought Stokies were a bunch of moaning twats
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Post by Funky on Feb 3, 2009 8:44:35 GMT
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Post by cousindupree on Feb 3, 2009 8:50:17 GMT
Anyone explain what these mean; a) A gadge b)Prank Monkey Beyatch puppet I thought I had a more than decent grasp of the english language...but those 2 have me stumped.??!!
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Post by Beardy200 on Feb 3, 2009 8:54:29 GMT
;D ;D ;D
Can't beat a good rant.
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Post by salopstick on Feb 3, 2009 8:55:11 GMT
stafford thats not funny - its true and brings up lots of points all other other football fans have been saying all season
if - IF they stay up it will be by the skin of there teeth
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Post by Stafford-Stokie on Feb 3, 2009 8:57:02 GMT
stafford thats not funny - its true and brings up lots of points all other other football fans have been saying all season if - IF they stay up it will be by the skin of there teeth Oh go back to bed. That is as funny as fuck. ;D It puts some of the moaning sods on here to shame.
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Post by stokietomo on Feb 3, 2009 8:58:37 GMT
I loved this line "Jimmy Bullard is a crip and by that I mean cripple as opposed to an L.A. gang member". Pisser!!
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Post by Mason_Stokie on Feb 3, 2009 8:59:36 GMT
that's a work of art!
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Post by Baggs on Feb 3, 2009 8:59:47 GMT
lol the mystery of hudsongod's whereabouts revealed!
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Post by dexter97 on Feb 3, 2009 9:00:03 GMT
That is a quality rant! A little mcf-esque I thought.
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Post by monkeycat on Feb 3, 2009 9:20:58 GMT
James Beattie in the same brackett as Kevin Kilbane...erm....I know which player I think will be most influential. Whoever wrote that does not like Tango much, was in Windass
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Post by thepremierbanksy on Feb 3, 2009 9:33:35 GMT
Anyone explain what these mean; a) A gadge b)Prank Monkey Beyatch puppet I thought I had a more than decent grasp of the english language...but those 2 have me stumped.??!! Pretty sure gadge is a Scottish slang word to describe a person, but also used by Geordies, and Hull it seems. The Scots also have radge, which I think is a more aggressive version of a gadge. A gadge is just a general loud dickhead I think, guess it's a bit like a chav. Conner help with prank monkey beyatch puppet, but i think he's trying to imply that Phil Brown bends over for Ferguson.
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Post by lancer on Feb 3, 2009 9:37:57 GMT
Stoke fans 'iliterate'? Surley 'illiterate' ?
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Post by swampySCFC on Feb 3, 2009 9:41:49 GMT
Sounds like anger management is required up there
Nurse....nurse
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Post by knowles on Feb 3, 2009 9:46:02 GMT
Brilliant post! That is class.
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Post by cousindupree on Feb 3, 2009 9:46:31 GMT
Thanks premierbanksy....like to improve my vocab.Anyone for Prank Monkey.....etc?
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Post by Deleted on Feb 3, 2009 10:07:31 GMT
It was always going to be hard for Hull. They had a few reasonably kind fixtures to ease them into the Prem and they got too big for their boots. That's why not all of us were crying like a 14 year old girl at a McFly concert about their good start.
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Post by sweetandinnocent on Feb 3, 2009 10:10:07 GMT
Class that is!!! ;D They really are up shit street arnt they. I think considering he mentions us and our players into that quite a bit, its testament to just how well we have done in the transfer window, he's obviously so jealous that he's boiled over and had a right good rant. well done TP & PC we really have done the business this transfer window!!! We may of got some duds at the start of the season but nobody can say that this January has been unsuccessful. 18) Middles borough 19) Hull 20) WBA with the way our team looks now we have a real good chance of finishing above these 3, and maybe even newcastle and pompey too.
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Post by Pugsley on Feb 3, 2009 10:16:35 GMT
A man after my own heart ;D ;D ;D
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Post by liamscfc on Feb 3, 2009 10:19:08 GMT
Brilliant post
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Post by cruelking on Feb 3, 2009 10:40:11 GMT
Class that is!!! ;D We may of got some duds at the start of the season but nobody can say that this January has been unsuccessful. 18) Middles borough 19) Hull 20) WBA with the way our team looks now we have a real good chance of finishing above these 3, and maybe even newcastle and pompey too. and 15) blackburn 16) portsmouth 17) newcastle
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Post by RAF on Feb 3, 2009 10:45:45 GMT
Apart from the fact that the Hull guy is funny. H
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beardofzeus
Youth Player
By the Beard of Zeus...
Posts: 376
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Post by beardofzeus on Feb 3, 2009 10:53:31 GMT
Got to say as a Yorkshireman, it is cracking to see the smug smiles of Hull fans being slowly wiped off their faces as the dreams of Europe fade and the possibility of a relegation battle looms. Haha
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Post by realstokebloke on Feb 3, 2009 11:10:54 GMT
Top rant (and , in its own way, quite eloquent for a Dullard).
Bit surprised how uncharitable he is about Manucho though?
Many thought (myself included) he'd be a bit of a star given the chance.
Hope he's right, i for one, certainly had & still have Dull in the bottom three come May.
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Post by sage on Feb 3, 2009 11:17:21 GMT
We're just 4 points behind them now...and hopefully less after the weekend.
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Post by vestanpance on Feb 3, 2009 12:54:30 GMT
That's a spectacular effort, absolutely brilliant.
In fairness, i can understand his annoyance. they have gone from smug to oh shit in a matter of weeks, and look desperately short now of what is required. PB is getting exposed for the twatter he is and the chairman, despite talking big, has failed to sign a right back who remembers when Paolo Maldinin was a decent prospect.
In short, fucked. Tee-hee.
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Post by LDE76 on Feb 3, 2009 12:56:50 GMT
They look seriously short of options up front, don't they? Recall for Mr Windass?
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Post by eddy_under_fire'sviews on Feb 3, 2009 13:02:37 GMT
great post lad
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