Brum Mail -Stoke are the John Prescott of football

[FullerMagic]

tinyurl.com/yt8u5k

Speaking of Christmas presents, one could be mistaken for thinking that Tony Pulis will be finding a Table Football under his tree tomorrow. It'll be the kind of Table Football game which has a row of nine defenders lining up across the width of the pitch in front of the 18-yard box. If you turn the handle quickly enough you can even get one of the 'players' to launch the ball down the pitch. One could also be mistaken for thinking it's where the Stoke manager takes his inspiration from.

Stoke sat back in large numbers and crudely scrambled balls away for large periods of the second half, a period when Kiely was often the only man left in Albion's half of the pitch. An astonishing number of Stoke players also became injured - badly enough to need treatment, but not badly enough to require permanent withdrawal from the game.


Referee Mark Halsey, an experienced official, was sucked into the gamesmanship. At one point a Stoke player managed to throw a ball into play when Albion were already in possession and mounting an attack with another ball. It was farcical stuff.


Not surprisingly Tony Mowbray bore the hallmarks of a disillusioned man after the game. He was pleased with his side's effort - if not their defending - but his grimace suggested that he was in despair at the methods used by Stoke to take a victory.


While there is no right or wrong way to play football, there is no doubt that there are vulgar methods. And Stoke City are the John Prescott of football - big and as ugly as sin.


One can only praise Stoke through gritted teeth. It's difficult being complimentary about a side who rely on percentages as much as an accountant and who simply are soiling the game.

Stoke were hard-working, functional and took their chances. And, on this form, they could easily push for a top two place. If they achieve promotion then it will be deserved. But at what cost to football as a sport? English football is going through an image crisis right now - it needs Stoke's brand of play like it needs a hole in the head.

[twisty]

Sour grapes for xmas me thinks.

[Olgrligm]

Fuller was the only person who went off for treatment yesterday. What about that baby girl who lay down in our penalty area for a good while?

The hypocrisy and just plain ignorance of that article could inspire anger out of Gandhi's corpse.

[FullerMagic]

There'a certain amount of truth in what he says.

But he's a bit of a drama queen, isn't he? ;D

[stokeuk474]

Love it! ;D

It's so bad it's laughable, I mean come on!

[LDE76]

That is, quite frankly, the biggest load of fucking bollocks since Comical Ali graced the airwaves.

Of course, the really satisfying part of all this is that the West Midlands-based media are obviously hating this. Fucking hating it.

[sovietonion]

It's the accent. It inspires clinical depression with its whining nasal drone. Its the aural equivalent of being fisted with Sir Lancelot's Gauntlet.

You're rich we aren't you weren't good enough to beat us.

Fuck 'em. 3-1, get used to it. Merry Xmas you denialist twats!

[daverichards]

Have they taken over the mantle from the Excuse and Star !!!!!!!

fullermagic, I have pasted the whole thing onto the match reports thread, and credited it with it

[Top Stopper]

Chris Lepkowski

That guy pisses me off.

[LDE76]

To be fair, the Birmingham Mail do deserve some recognition. I mean, I never thought any newspaper* could behave with less dignity than the Excuse and Star, but they've gone and done it.

Having said that, all of the Birmingham-based media became parodies of themselves a long time ago.

*Ha!

[daverichards]

email the fuckers

icbirmingham.icnetwork.co.uk/aboutus/ourpapers/contacts/

[Rebelliousjukebox]

hebangsthedrums said:

There'a certain amount of truth in what he says.

But he's a bit of a drama queen, isn't he? ;D

The only truth is comparing Parkin with Prescott!

The Baggies are like Blair - always lying about themselves.

[thepremierbanksy]

As far as gamesmanship was concerned they were far worse! Like someone else pointed out their centre half was down for ages when we were in a good spell and got up with no bother. Fair play Fuller did it blatently in their half but he scored 3 so he's allowed! More to the point was their persistent pushing our players in the back when competing for headers simply due to the fact that they knew they had no aerial presence. Also there were two or three cynical fouls (one which was booked) in the middle of the park when we were breaking, and i don't recall any of that from us.

As Arsenal have now learnt, if you are an un-physical passing side you will beat a lot of the more uncultured sides in the division, but come up against a well organised one and you might just get beaten. There is no point in crying about it, you just have to learn to be beat those sides - there are plenty of em in this division.

[nathan]

I share the same sentiments as the poster who recognised that it was written by Chris Lepkowski. He is, unfortunately, an incredibly biased reporter.

Mr. Lepkowski had a template copy of what he was going to write, which basically entailed Stoke jibes. It only needed the minor details of what occurred during the match and he's cracked it. What Mr. Lepkowski fails to mention that 'his' West Brom side failed to test Simonsen until the 58th minute. Though, I doubt Mr. Lepkowski noticed this, he was most probably trying to conjure up the opening that he favours - making reference to us as 'the long lost cousin, who brings cheap plonk, whilst the rest bring fine wines' after the previous encounter.

Lets break down Mr. Lepowski comments:

At one point a Stoke player managed to throw a ball into play when Albion were already in possession and mounting an attack with another ball.

No, the ball was thrown from the side, however Lawrence did kick it 'into the play' admittedly. Still, not an accurate report on the incident.

An astonishing number of Stoke players also became injured - badly enough to need treatment, but not badly enough to require permanent withdrawal from the game.

I can only recall 2, possibly 3 players being injured and receiving treatment, 1 being Fuller who later was substituted! To state is was an 'astonishing number' indicates that the majority of the team were involved!!!

So basically, he's commented on two things that have happened at the game and both have proved to be incorrect, or misleading. Coupled with the fact he wouldn't know what 'objective' meant if it smack him in the face, I therefore reach the conclusion he is a poor journalist.

His comments are boring and tedious - and so predictable! Whilst I admit WBA passed it well, there was no cutting edge to their play. Mr. Lepkowski would clearly prefer the Albion to play nice football for little or no reward, as they did in the first half. Whilst Albion are 'Brazilling it up' Chris seems to think that teams should be aware of the divine right WBA have to walk this division.

Chris seems to suggest that all of the 3 goals were 'typical' of a 'route 1 side'. Thanks Chris. Now Chris, why couldn't the Arsenal2 contend with the one dimension of 'limited' Stoke City?

But then again, they have been in the Premiership, haven't they?

;D

[boothenendboy]

hebangsthedrums said:

tinyurl.com/yt8u5k

it needs Stoke's brand of play like it needs a hole in the head.

oh dear, spoiling their nice non-contact sport are we?

[Vermelho20312505]

I unfortunately live in the West Midlands nowadays, and had to listen to the West Brom fans moaning on WM all the way home. They are so stupid that one fan suggested that Stoke stopped using the multi-ball system after we went 3-0 up to time waste. What a laugh that is, does he really think that 3-0 was the point in the game that we really felt we needed to time waste! What a muppet.

Also I am sick of hearing from West Brom fans about Stoke's unsporting tactics. Every single professional footballer in the country now waste time and pushes the refs buttons. I can't personally say I have ever seen it from West Brom, as it is so long since they had a lead to protect???????????

I've always hated Wolves and quite liked WBA. I'm starting to reassess this though!!!!

[LDE76]

I've just shown that report to a former editor of Pravda, and he reckons he'd possibly have toned down the lies a bit.

[iwwwsatv]

If you think what they are calling us now is bad..... i hate to think what they will call us if we get promoted

I cant think there will be many: 'best of luck lads' 'well done stoke you deserved it' 'Do the midlands proud and take the premier by storm'

[thepremierbanksy]

"Albion's deficiencies were sloppy defending and a lack of cutting edge. Yet they stuck to their principles by using movement and passing to carve open Stoke's defence."

Maybe we're not that different; after all the captain of the Titanic was a Stokie and he went down with the ship too

[Deleted]

Didn't they start the game with one big lump up front?

I don't remember them complaining about physical, defensive sides when Gary "five men across the middle" Megson was grinding out 1-0 wins every week.

[sheikhmomo]

If he thinks performances like Fuller's are damaging the image of Football, then he's simply a fucking idiot.

[craig67]

How can 'lack of cutting edge' and 'passing to carve open Stoke's defence' actually be used,as they contradict each other?

[madazcheese]

And West Brom are the Tracey Temple of football,because they both got FCUKED!

[DodgyDino]

Ive just emailed that prat Chris Lepkowski, What a nob. Ive asked him if he actually attended the game or decided to just fabricate a load of bull shit..

[LDE76]

The only way he could increase the bullshit-factor would be by reporting that West Brom won.

[bayernoatcake]

I'm so glad we beat them fuckers yesterday-yes they did camp in our half but to me never looked like scoring!

[fca47]

What I found really funny was the roar their supporters made everytime they got a throw in. They must have been really desperate for something to cheer. They are making a lot of the possession they had in the second half, but that was because Stoke were sitting back and hoping to catch them on the break, which we did, played into our hands perfectly.

[StoKeith]

To add to nath's analysis of the incorrect comments by this joke of a journalist - he also said:

John Eustace - a tidy midfielder who is wasted in Stoke's industrial-like engine room - played in a lofted ball for Mamady Sidibe, who appeared to control the ball with his hand before flicking it into Fuller's path.

Eustace played it on the ground and it was Fuller who might have handled it, not Sidibe at all.

Very poor journalism.

[Deleted]

sheikhmomo

so right what you say

Fuller represents football at its best

[Linx]

Obviously football is like art - beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I didn't see anything yesterday that suggested WBA were a more skillful or talented or 'footballing' side than Stoke.

As The Sunday Times match report suggested (slightly less partisan newspaper than the Birmingham Mail, methinks), based on the pre-match hype about Beauty and the Beast, it was as though the teams had exchanged kits for the first half at least!