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Post by salopstick on Jun 30, 2023 23:09:52 GMT
Like a child the night before Christmas, I sit at the foot of the bed, unable to sleep with excitement. ‘Daddy, is Father Christmas going to be here soon?’ ‘I’m sorry son, he doesn’t exist.’ However, Matthieu Van der Poel does and he has more magic than your fictional present-bringer.’ ‘What? Does that mean that Marc Soler is magic too?’ ‘No my boy, he’s just a prick. Now get to sleep or Matej Mohoric will come down the chimney and punch you in the face.’ Thus, tomorrow is the day it begins. Not the most overall exciting parcours ever, but the riders make the race.* *Other clichés are available. A single 22km TT (bordering on being a mountain one,) four summit finishes, a decent mix of sprint/lumpy/rouleur stages and for the final time for now, the traditional Champs Elysees finish before the switch to Nice in 2024. It appears that we have Extraterrestrials Pogacar Vingegaard Lower calibre Spielberg movies Hindley O’Connor Carapaz Landa^^ ^^Mood permitting Klingons Meintjes Bilbao Gall Who knows? Bernal Pinot Gaudu Wheelsucking shithouses Mas Speedy Gonzales’ Philipsen Jakobsen Groenewegen Bauhaus Cavendish Ewan Welsford Special category supermen Pedersen Girmay Pidcock Assorted but potentially interesting randoms Skeljmose Bernal Bilbao Ciccone Martin Coquard Van Gils Tejada Jorgenson Twenty Frenchmen fighting over three mountain points on pointless stages Deities Van der Poel WVA Stage 1 is 183km with a start and finish in Bilbao, so expect hardcore fans in vast numbers. Crashes aplenty seem inevitable but if you are a GC guy then you can’t just aim to get to 3km and finish in the pack as the finish could actually suit you and bring some time gaps. The stage gets interesting in parcours terms at 140km when there is a short 4th cat climb, followed by a 3rd cat a dozen km later, then at 10km to go a bastard of a lump - Côte de Pike - (2.1km at 9.4%, of which the second km is at 13%,) finally the finish is 1km at 5.4%. Really tricky to predict a winner here. The sprinters will have their legs ripped off on the Côte de Pike, if not before and will struggle to get back on on the descent and then the finish is another haul. I can see it exploding on the penultimate climb and if it does, Pogacar and Vingegaard will get involved which will cause ripples for everyone else in the GC hunt. It promises a lot for an opening stage and I hope it delivers. Heart says MVDP, head says WVA, no part of my body says Axel Zingle. Love it mate Viva le tour
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Post by marylandstoke on Jul 1, 2023 0:19:44 GMT
Always a time to remember Paul Sherwen.
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Post by marylandstoke on Jul 1, 2023 0:33:41 GMT
Hi Bod. Bit cheeky to ask for requests but I was wondering if you could give us ‘The Bod’ on the US riders this year. NBC will do their inevitable ‘bit’ to GPro every couple of days (Taylor Phinney’s were a master class in existential velocipedetary) but was interested in your perspective. Had originally jumped on to say it must be like Christmas Eve night at yours tonight but you beat me to it.
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Post by Bod on Jul 1, 2023 10:29:58 GMT
Good to see you in here again. I was hoping you’d be back and now it really is Christmas. For the use of ‘Existential velocipedetary’ you have already earned the first maillot jaune of the race.
At the moment, there are some tremendously exciting US riders, but I think that it will still be a few years before the pick of them start to really make marks in GT’s.
Kuss (TJV) - doesn’t want a leadership role by his own admission as he said he doesn’t want the responsibility, but has all the tools and has very respectable finishes in each GT in which he has ridden totally at the service of either Roglic or Vingegaard. 15th and 18th in the TdF, 14th in the Giro and 16th and 8th in the Vuelta. Difficult to think that he wouldn’t be a consistent top 10 finisher if he rode at almost any other team.
Jorgenson (Movistar) - I’m high as a kite on this guy. He has something special. Only 24 with a big engine and climbs very well and is often able to hang with the big guns when he really shouldn’t. A little inconsistent but 24 is a baby in GT terms. He’ll be at the service of Mas I would think, so logic dictates that he should lose time early to gain some freedom in the final 10 days where he get in some breaks. His problem is that if he hovers around the top 10 his leeway for breaks will be minimal and so Movistar have to evaluate whether a top 15 is preferable to a potential stage win.
Powless (EF Education) - Can climb, time trial and is powerful on punchy one day type finishes. Had a great start to the season but his result in the Tour de Romandie was a bit of concern as he was dropped on the climbs very early and looked badly out of form. If he is on song, he is similar to Jorgenson in that he could be top 10/15, but all the stars would have to align.
Quinn Simmons (LIDL-Trek) - another quality young rider, who is only 22. Still finding his feet in GT’s as is to be expected and has had a pretty quiet season. Not sure if he has had any issues, but looks to be lacking race days maybe? Contrarily, he is young so it may be wise that he isn’t being flogged. Won the National title last week and is now sporting one of the worst looking US national jerseys it was possible to create. Simmons is the kind of rider who has ‘Breakaway’ written all over him in Sharpie.
Craddock (Jayco-Alula) - getting nearer to the end of his career than the start, Craddock is one of the riders who is a bonafide solid citizen. A domestique who has an excellent time trial (when he’s allowed to ride it flat out rather than having to save his legs,) he is someone who should always have a team until he chooses to leave the sport. Reliable and highly-valued by teammates. Unsung hero.
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Post by mrcoke on Jul 1, 2023 15:49:15 GMT
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Post by salopstick on Jul 1, 2023 16:05:09 GMT
Like a child the night before Christmas, I sit at the foot of the bed, unable to sleep with excitement. ‘Daddy, is Father Christmas going to be here soon?’ ‘I’m sorry son, he doesn’t exist.’ However, Matthieu Van der Poel does and he has more magic than your fictional present-bringer.’ ‘What? Does that mean that Marc Soler is magic too?’ ‘No my boy, he’s just a prick. Now get to sleep or Matej Mohoric will come down the chimney and punch you in the face.’ Thus, tomorrow is the day it begins. Not the most overall exciting parcours ever, but the riders make the race.* *Other clichés are available. A single 22km TT (bordering on being a mountain one,) four summit finishes, a decent mix of sprint/lumpy/rouleur stages and for the final time for now, the traditional Champs Elysees finish before the switch to Nice in 2024. It appears that we have Extraterrestrials Pogacar Vingegaard Lower calibre Spielberg movies Hindley O’Connor Carapaz Landa^^ ^^Mood permitting Klingons Meintjes Bilbao Gall Who knows? Bernal Pinot Gaudu Wheelsucking shithouses Mas Speedy Gonzales’ Philipsen Jakobsen Groenewegen Bauhaus Cavendish Ewan Welsford Special category supermen Pedersen Girmay Pidcock Assorted but potentially interesting randoms Skeljmose Bernal Bilbao Ciccone Martin Coquard Van Gils Tejada Jorgenson Twenty Frenchmen fighting over three mountain points on pointless stages Deities Van der Poel WVA Stage 1 is 183km with a start and finish in Bilbao, so expect hardcore fans in vast numbers. Crashes aplenty seem inevitable but if you are a GC guy then you can’t just aim to get to 3km and finish in the pack as the finish could actually suit you and bring some time gaps. The stage gets interesting in parcours terms at 140km when there is a short 4th cat climb, followed by a 3rd cat a dozen km later, then at 10km to go a bastard of a lump - Côte de Pike - (2.1km at 9.4%, of which the second km is at 13%,) finally the finish is 1km at 5.4%. Really tricky to predict a winner here. The sprinters will have their legs ripped off on the Côte de Pike, if not before and will struggle to get back on on the descent and then the finish is another haul. I can see it exploding on the penultimate climb and if it does, Pogacar and Vingegaard will get involved which will cause ripples for everyone else in the GC hunt. It promises a lot for an opening stage and I hope it delivers. Heart says MVDP, head says WVA, no part of my body says Axel Zingle. Sophie’s Choice: Yates A Yates S
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Post by Bod on Jul 1, 2023 19:04:13 GMT
Stage 1 - Bilbao-Bilbao. ‘AKA - the toughest opening stage in the modern history of the TdF.’
Kit check -
Movistar - white. The colour of surrender. Appropriate.
Cofidis - acceptable.
Astana - an accurate representation of the team in that it’s all over the place.
TJV - small map of France on the front is understated and pretty cool.
Trek-Lidl - can’t decide if it is utterly awful or magnificent.
A fast start but the break of five formed really easily and then the bunch just shrugged, played a bit of canasta, discussed the gold standard, played ‘Spot Louis Meintjes’ and the kept the group out front on a tight leash. It was a nervy, strange start which didn’t see the usual scattergun, constant attacks to bridge gaps, etc. 90 seconds was all they were allowed and I often talk about doomed breakaways, but this was the epitome of it.
Ewan and Cav right at the back as soon as the road crept slightly uphill. I think that was wise. The first two days are not for sprinters, so conserve, treat as much as a training day as is possible and try to stay mentally loose too. Let the big hitters expend all that mental energy and if you’re a fast man, let it all go on around you.
Break dangled, dangled, dangled and TJV and Soudal Quick-Step kept the pace high. Very little happened until 40ish km to go and then a few selections were made and the break was caught and jettisoned out of the proverbial anus of the peloton. UAE started to drill it on the Cote de Vivero and strung everyone out. Bjerg had a full on pain face. Two places behind, Pogacar was sipping on a bidon like it was a club run at 30km per hour rather than a second category climb. First big GC contender (of sorts) to get shelled was Lutsenko for Astana and he deserved it purely for the absolute shititude of the Astana jersey. He was wearing the Kazakh National kit but the point stands, dammit. Just outside 20km to go on and Mas and Carapaz stack it on the descent. Thankfully both were upright and moving but not in a state that bodes well. Carapaz could barely turn the pedals and for Mas, he had to abandon. I’m no fan of his, but wouldn’t wish crashing out on anyone. Months and months of preparation gone. Onto the Cote de Pike and Jumbo piled it on. Everyone wanted to be at the front at the foot the climb and Grosschartner for UAE went ballistic, adrenaline took over and dropped everyone without realising until he suddenly realised that Pogacar wasn’t there and so he knocked it off and sat up. A small but amusing moment. Next we know, Pogacar and Vingegaard have a gap and Lafay is along for the ride. A regrouping of sorts on the descent but MVDP and Alaphilippe are too far back to join the leaders. Somehow both Yates brothers get ahead, take 15 seconds and hold off everyone and take first and second! Adam gets the bragging right and Simon gets to hear about it for the rest of his life. Pogacar takes third and some bonus seconds into the bargain. A tough, selective stage to open with and already some time gaps opening up significantly. Enjoyable.
Yellow - A Yates Points - A Yates Mountains - Powless Young Rider - Pogacar
Winners
A Yates Basque fans Pogacar (4 bonus seconds)
Losers
Mas (abandon) Carapaz (crash, shipped 16 mins) Martinez (lost 3 mins) Lutsenko (lost almost 10 mins)
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Post by salopstick on Jul 1, 2023 19:52:34 GMT
You should have a blog Bod
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Post by Kewstokie on Jul 1, 2023 21:01:33 GMT
I’ll will be rocking up for at least one stage of the Tour, either the run up to Col d’Aspin or the Puy de Dome stage. Usually take in more but the route has avoided the far south again.
If you are minded to follow a cycling world tour event in person I recommend any of the warm up races before the Tour. The Criterium de Dauphine and Route d’Occitanie are localish for me in summer. OK you don’t get the publicity caravan but there are compensations. You can get up close to the riders, mechanics, bikes & tour buses (complete with their washing machines in the luggage bay) etc before a stage start and be more involved - not a chance at the Tour circus. I watched Vingegaard, Alaphillipe & Martin stand for a good 30 minutes outside their Team Buses at the Criterium signing autographs for the kids, riders are more relaxed and happy to exchange pleasantries, there’s a chance to give encouragement to up and coming UK riders plying their trade with overseas teams eg Harrison Wood at Cofidis and the two lads at DSM team Onley and Poole (David Poole had a really good Criterium btw - one for the future) as well as more established pro’s like Fred Wright. You’ll also appreciate not one oz. of fat on any of them.
Water bottles. Less spectators at warm up races = more Bidons. Chris Froome chucked us his at the Occitanie 😊. A quick survey of the contents of this summers collection : three quarters are sickly sweet either cola or sugared water. The rest, including Froome’s, were plain water.
Mix it up a bit too, do the start, a mountain or hilly stage and a flattish stage and head for a Belgian Camper van - there’s always plenty - to watch the finish on tv.
Allez Allez!
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Post by salopstick on Jul 1, 2023 21:10:01 GMT
I’ll will be rocking up for at least one stage of the Tour, either the run up to Col d’Aspin or the Puy de Dome stage. Usually take in more but the route has avoided the far south again. If you are minded to follow a cycling world tour event in person I recommend any of the warm up races before the Tour. The Criterium de Dauphine and Route d’Occitanie are localish for me in summer. OK you don’t get the publicity caravan but there are compensations. You can get up close to the riders, mechanics, bikes & tour buses (complete with their washing machines in the luggage bay) etc before a stage start and be more involved - not a chance at the Tour circus. I watched Vingegaard, Alaphillipe & Martin stand for a good 30 minutes outside their Team Buses at the Criterium signing autographs for the kids, riders are more relaxed and happy to exchange pleasantries, there’s a chance to give encouragement to up and coming UK riders plying their trade with overseas teams eg Harrison Wood at Cofidis and the two lads at DSM team Onley and Poole (David Poole had a really good Criterium btw - one for the future) as well as more established pro’s like Fred Wright. You’ll also appreciate not one oz. of fat on any of them. Water bottles. Less spectators at warm up races = more Bidons. Chris Froome chucked us his at the Occitanie 😊. A quick survey of the contents of this summers collection : three quarters are sickly sweet either cola or sugared water. The rest, including Froome’s, were plain water. Mix it up a bit too, do the start, a mountain or hilly stage and a flattish stage and head for a Belgian Camper van - there’s always plenty - to watch the finish on tv. Allez Allez! Had a similar albeit smaller experience at the commonwealth games TT in Wolverhampton last summer
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Post by Bod on Jul 1, 2023 21:40:21 GMT
I’ll will be rocking up for at least one stage of the Tour, either the run up to Col d’Aspin or the Puy de Dome stage. Usually take in more but the route has avoided the far south again. If you are minded to follow a cycling world tour event in person I recommend any of the warm up races before the Tour. The Criterium de Dauphine and Route d’Occitanie are localish for me in summer. OK you don’t get the publicity caravan but there are compensations. You can get up close to the riders, mechanics, bikes & tour buses (complete with their washing machines in the luggage bay) etc before a stage start and be more involved - not a chance at the Tour circus. I watched Vingegaard, Alaphillipe & Martin stand for a good 30 minutes outside their Team Buses at the Criterium signing autographs for the kids, riders are more relaxed and happy to exchange pleasantries, there’s a chance to give encouragement to up and coming UK riders plying their trade with overseas teams eg Harrison Wood at Cofidis and the two lads at DSM team Onley and Poole (David Poole had a really good Criterium btw - one for the future) as well as more established pro’s like Fred Wright. You’ll also appreciate not one oz. of fat on any of them. Water bottles. Less spectators at warm up races = more Bidons. Chris Froome chucked us his at the Occitanie 😊. A quick survey of the contents of this summers collection : three quarters are sickly sweet either cola or sugared water. The rest, including Froome’s, were plain water. Mix it up a bit too, do the start, a mountain or hilly stage and a flattish stage and head for a Belgian Camper van - there’s always plenty - to watch the finish on tv. Allez Allez! Onley has so much potential. He rides like someone who has ten years more experience. Route d’Occitanie is a fantastic race, which has all the excting bits of a stage race but removes the dull ones and still has a low key tone to it. Belgian camper vans have always been worth seeking out too for precisely the reasons you said. This is a bit worrying though, as if we have more than a handful of people in this thread the board may implode 😂
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Post by Bod on Jul 2, 2023 10:06:31 GMT
Stage 2. Vitoria-Gaistez to San Sebastián. Longest stage of the race at 208.9km.
Carapaz abandons with a fractured patella. I don’t want to be harsh, but in the ‘Good old days’ riders used to finish the race even if they had fractured both patellae, shattered a femur, contracted pneumonia, mild case of syphilis, the screaming ab-dabs and a cold. Riders today don’t know they’re born. The most plausible actual reason for his abandon was that he was so stunned to see Louis Meintjes in the flesh, that he passed out.
Two third cat, two fourth cat and then the Jaizkibel (8km at 5.3%, with the last 4km being the toughest) as the biggest test of the day which tops out with 16 km to go. Logically it should play out like a typical Classica San Sebastián and many of the riders are familiar with the Jaizkibel and then the fast descent afterwards. Yesterday was a little too much for WVA, MVDP and Alaphilippe, but today should be more suited to them and some of the other all rounders like Pidcock, Cort or maybe Pedersen and Girmay? Pedersen took it ‘easy’ yesterday and Girmay was dropped and then backed off too. Girmay is a crackerjack and I hope he is fully recovered after a season of misfortune. From a personal point of view, I’d (as always) like a victory for MVDP but head says WVA more likely. It would also depend upon how the day plays out as a whole. If the day is fragmented and chaotic, the final will be very hard, but if it’s more tempo, tempo then the rouleurs will won’t be as blunted at the end.
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Post by salopstick on Jul 2, 2023 19:09:36 GMT
Been out on my bike all day so missed the live
Just caught the highlights
Great finish to that stage and a worthy team producing the winner
Two days in its turning into a great tour and we’ve still got Cav to come
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Post by Bod on Jul 2, 2023 19:47:12 GMT
Stage 2. Lumpy. Sprinters cover your eyes and wait for tomorrow.
Another odd start. The usual carnage and politicking of getting into a break was absent again today. Cavagna, Powless and Boasson-Hagen went away virtually from the flag drop and the bunch just let them go and have a 4 mins 30 gap and that was that. Very, very strange that other teams didn’t try to get into this break. Movistar should have been all over this, for example. given that they now have no focus other than stages. Thus for 4 hours, very little happened. Powless accumulated mountain points, it rained for a spell and, well, erm, that was also that. One point of note is that the green jersey is hideous. It is absolutely foul. It doesn’t look like a classification jersey. It resembles what a second tier French team would wear. In 1977.
Peloton picked up the pace at 80km to go and suddenly the gap was down to 2 mins 30. UAE were, to harness my inner Sean Kelly, ‘Fucking drilling it.’ In fact, Majka actually gave Bjerg a mild talking to and told him to chill out, back off the pace and relax as there is nothing to gain from bringing the gap down so quickly. Bjerg did similar yesterday and appears to be afflicted with TdF- infused excitement and adrenaline. Cavagna couldn’t hang with Boasson-Hagen and Powless on the climb at 70km to go and the break became a duo. It wasn’t quite as sad as when Siobhàn left The Sugababes, but it was close. UAE and Jumbo controlled the pace and as Boasson Hagen was dropped by Powless, there was a small stack in the peloton and Van Gils seemed to have the worst of it. A shame for him as he’s another young talent who seems a bit forgotten as Remco is clearly the Belgian hero, but Van Gils has serious potential. Vingegaard punctured and was on the spare bike but no drama.
Onto the Jaizkibel and Powless had an advantage of 90 seconds. Wrap it up however you like, but that wasn’t going to be enough. UAE though had burned through five teammates and were left with just Majka, Pogacar and Yates. Van der Poel was dropped, sprinters were long gone, hanging out in the autobus, probably smoking like the cool kids do. Jumbo looked imposing and Adam Yates looked relaxed, but sartorially he was lacking. Some people can carry off an all yellow kit (Cipollini, Pantani) and some people can’t (everyone else.) Suddenly, Powless’ lead evaporated and it was GC time. The American gets to keep the mountains jersey for another day though, so mission accomplished. 18.1km to go. Louis Meintjes spotted. Just saying. What made me smile was seeing Bernal right up there on the Jaizkibel. He is a hero and almost a miracle that he is riding to this level. Bonus seconds at the top of the and Pogacar takes the 5 seconds and Vingegaard takes 3. Simon Yates picked up 2 seconds. 100m or so from the summit, Pogacar just gave Vingegaard a tiny elbow flick towards the barriers so that he could hold his position. The Slovenian means business. Last year’s image of Vingegaard waiting for Pogacar on the Col de Spandelles seems a very distant memory now. I think there may be some needle between the two and I hope there is. A Very Elite Group came back together on the descent, with Pogacar, Vingegaard, S and A Yates, Skeljmose, Bilbao, Pidcock, amongst others. Pidcock goes hard at 3km, WVA is on him like a limpet and then Skeljmose goes! Bloody hell. After the cricket, I can hardly cope. For what it’s worth, if cricket ever took off in Spain I would ‘Mankad’ Enric Mas. Double ‘Bloody hell,’ Victor Lafay!!! Chapeau!!!! Carlton Kirby will need sedating. Cofidis get a win after waiting for 15 years at the TdF. An absolutely blistering attack at 1km. Stunning move. Flat out, full gas. Boom! No-one (ie, Jumbo) can close and the Frenchman says ‘Merci’ and earns himself a place in history and a picture on the wall of insurances offices throughout France. In my mind I believe that Cofidis managing directors treat the TdF like a version of North Korea where all these years of failure have been passed off as victories and Guillame Martin is actually an eight-time TdF winner.
Winners - Lafay. Legendary opportunism. Delighted for him. Stage win and green jersey. Weeping on the streets of Paris and not solely due to tear gas.
Pogacar - took 12 bonus seconds today and looked like the patron. Always near the front, strong sprint to finish, powerful on the climbs and just boss level swagger.
Bernal - not just hanging in there, but competing.
A Yates - keeps yellow.
Powless - took mountains points and retains the jersey. Job done.
Losers - Jumbo. WVA is totally pissed off. The politics are coming into play where Jumbo needed to close the gap on Lafay and ran out of riders apart from Vingegaard. Jonas did nothing to help WVA. Bet it’s fun at their dinner table tonight. The Belgians are unhappy as WVA can win stages and it looks (famous last words) that Pogacar is stronger than Vingegaard and so WVA should be fully backed is the thought.
O’Connor - more time gone for a GC contender. 1 min 41 in 2 tough, but not mountainous stages is poor.
Martinez - over ten minutes down on GC.
Pinot - gave up 2 mins 25 on the stage. Groupama left Demare at home, so Pinot had better do something this year. Demare got the brown end of it.
Yellow - A Yates Green - V Lafay Mountains - Powless Young rider - Pogacar
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Post by Bod on Jul 3, 2023 8:58:15 GMT
Stage 3.
Amorebieta-Etxano to Bayonne. 193.5km
A start in Spain and then across the border to finish in France. Expect swathes of Lafay tattoos and Cofidis arriving on the start line in gilded carriages, powered by the joyful tears of an adoring public.
In theory, this has ‘Sprint’ written all over it. For me, it also has crashes too, sadly. The first two stages have seen a few chutes but thankfully on a small (yet not insignificant for Mas and Carapaz) scale. I expect today to be much more fraught. The four classified climbs are pretty insignificant and I cannot envisage another day where a break saunters off ahead of an uninterested peloton. It should be a fight to get in the break and already if you are Groupama, Arkea and AG2R, you have seen Cofidis take a victory and so you’d better get someone in a break. Or better still, more than one person. More so if you are Groupama, as you left Demare at home!
Of the sprinters, Philipsen is currently the premier fast man. Jakobsen is still rapid, Groenewegen is still Groenewegen, Ewan is still a mystery but if there is a crash there’s a chance he’ll be found at the bottom of it. Cav is unknown, but Astana are not the tightest drilled unit although Cavendish’s race smarts negate that to a large degree. WVA, Pedersen and Girmay are all explosive, of course, but it will be a matter of who can navigate the carnage and be there at the end. Philipsen should be the favourite and with MVDP as a lead out man, he is doubly dangerous. Something in my brain says Groenewegen though as he will go for gaps with minimal regard for his own safety (much like most sprinters) but even less regard for the safety of other riders at times.
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Post by str8outtahampton on Jul 3, 2023 16:16:14 GMT
Outstanding updates from Bod. Someone says above that the descents are a difficult watch because of the genuine danger of serious injury or worse. Gotta say I felt the same about the sprint finish just now in Bayonne. These blokes are certifiably insane. Also find the climbs a challenge to watch, but for different reasons. When the (almost invariably tubby) numpties get right in the face of the riders, often waving their raggedy flags, my BP rises. To the extent that our beautiful (but even by feline standards, dim) cat is at risk of being thrown through the TV screen. Should probably stick to Countdown or Cash in the Attic.
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Post by Bod on Jul 3, 2023 18:03:11 GMT
Stage 3
Ahoy there sprinters, there be gold at the end of this road.
Powless is unsurprisingly in the break and hoovering up (vacuuming would be more accurate for any pedants out there) the mountains points. He has Pichon for company and Arkea have clearly delivered the ‘Get in the break or else’ pre-race team talk. Powless celebrates topping each climb with a level of exuberance that doesn’t quite match having been first over the top of Spanish equivalents of Lime Kiln bank. It’s still good to see though as he’s enjoying himself. Unlike the viewers who are watching the stage progress at an absolute snail’s pace. A smattering of punctures were the only highlight as tacks on the road made an unwelcome return to the TdF. Powless picked up the points he wanted for the day and then sat up, leaving Lafay alone out front until he was reeled in and finally the pace picked up at 45km to go.
Jumbo were probably bricking it after yesterday in case WVA went full Hulk and pulled Vingegaard’s arms off. No team could fully control it though, with BORA, Uno-X, Lotto, Astana, Quick-Step and Bahrain all attempting to dominate. Interesting discussion on commentary with Kelly and McEwen about sprint teams using ‘Bubbles’ rather than a traditional train. Surrounding their sprinter, taking up road space at the front and making it difficult for other teams to get any purchase.
10km to go and every sprinter is still there and it’s roundabouts galore. The citizens of Letchworth must have been looking on with pride, chests puffed out and with knowing winks to each other.
Frenetic finish, Quick-Step do all the heavy lifting until IWG try to get Girmay in position and Teunissen pulls such contorted pain faces that I thought his bowels had loosened. All that happened was that IWG got in the way, couldn’t hold the wheels of the lone Quick-Step leader and then Alpecin said ‘Hold my beer’ and stepped into the fray. Philipsen was brilliantly placed and when MVDP leads you out, you’re on board the rocket ship. MVDP delivered the perfect lead out and Philipsen did the rest, ahead of Bauhaus, Ewan (stayed upright, bonus points,) Jakobsen and WVA. Slightly sketchy sprint where the barriers snaked a little and it looked briefly like Philipsen closed the door on WVA who sat up, but it was a clean sprint, even though the jury analysed the result. After a 10 min wait, Philipsen remained in first place. As an aside, Cav was sixth but hit the fastest top speed of anyone in the sprint - 73.3km/h. A hairy sprint which had potential for crashes galore, but everyone was unscathed and that’s paramount.
Yellow - A Yates Green - Lafay (tied with Philipsen) Mountains - Powless Young rider - Pogacar
Sprint danger rating -
3 Abdoujaparov’s out of 5. Mild peril, some scenes may cause distress to younger viewers and those of a nervous disposition.
Winners
Philpsen - had one job and did it. He was the favourite for a reason.
Alpecin - had two jobs and did them both. Philipsen took the win and balding men everywhere are benefiting from their magnificent hair products.
Lafay - was smart enough to break away for a while earlier in the stage to collect enough points to keep the green jersey. France salutes him. Legion d’Honneur incoming.
Powless - keeps the polka dots and appears to be living the dream.
Losers
WVA - win or nothing is what he said. Thus, it’s nothing and he gets consigned to the naughty list.
Thumbtack manufacturers - given the amount thrown on the road, the puncture rate was still low. Step up your game.
Meintjes - he was onscreen three times today. That is not how you roll Louis. If you keep this up, my equilibrium will be destroyed. I will have to discontinue the lithium, as Tony Soprano was once told.
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Post by thehartshillbadger on Jul 3, 2023 18:12:30 GMT
Stage 3 Ahoy there sprinters, there be gold at the end of this road. Powless is unsurprisingly in the break and hoovering up (vacuuming would be more accurate for any pedants out there) the mountains points. He has Pichon for company and Arkea have clearly delivered the ‘Get in the break or else’ pre-race team talk. Powless celebrates topping each climb with a level of exuberance that doesn’t quite match having been first over the top of Spanish equivalents of Lime Kiln bank. It’s still good to see though as he’s enjoying himself. Unlike the viewers who are watching the stage progress at an absolute snail’s pace. A smattering of punctures were the only highlight as tacks on the road made an unwelcome return to the TdF. Powless picked up the points he wanted for the day and then sat up, leaving Lafay alone out front until he was reeled in and finally the pace picked up at 45km to go. Jumbo were probably bricking it after yesterday in case WVA went full Hulk and pulled Vingegaard’s arms off. No team could fully control it though, with BORA, Uno-X, Lotto, Astana, Quick-Step and Bahrain all attempting to dominate. Interesting discussion on commentary with Kelly and McEwen about sprint teams using ‘Bubbles’ rather than a traditional train. Surrounding their sprinter, taking up road space at the front and making it difficult for other teams to get any purchase. 10km to go and every sprinter is still there and it’s roundabouts galore. The citizens of Letchworth must have been looking on with pride, chests puffed out and with knowing winks to each other. Frenetic finish, Quick-Step do all the heavy lifting until IWG try to get Girmay in position and Teunissen pulls such contorted pain faces that I thought his bowels had loosened. All that happened was that IWG got in the way, couldn’t hold the wheels of the lone Quick-Step leader and then Alpecin said ‘Hold my beer’ and stepped into the fray. Philipsen was brilliantly placed and when MVDP leads you out, you’re on board the rocket ship. MVDP delivered the perfect lead out and Philipsen did the rest, ahead of Bauhaus, Ewan (stayed upright, bonus points,) Jakobsen and WVA. Slightly sketchy sprint where the barriers snaked a little and it looked briefly like Philipsen closed the door on WVA who sat up, but it was a clean sprint, even though the jury analysed the result. After a 10 min wait, Philipsen remained in first place. As an aside, Cav was sixth but hit the fastest top speed of anyone in the sprint - 73.3km/h. A hairy sprint which had potential for crashes galore, but everyone was unscathed and that’s paramount. Yellow - A Yates Green - Lafay (tied with Philipsen) Mountains - Powless Young rider - Pogacar Sprint danger rating - 3 Abdoujaparov’s out of 5. Mild peril, some scenes may cause distress to younger viewers and those of a nervous disposition. Winners Philpsen - had one job and did it. He was the favourite for a reason. Alpecin - had two jobs and did them both. Philipsen took the win and balding men everywhere are benefiting from their magnificent hair products. Lafay - was smart enough to break away for a while earlier in the stage to collect enough points to keep the green jersey. France salutes him. Legion d’Honneur incoming. Powless - keeps the polka dots and appears to be living the dream. Losers WVA - win or nothing is what he said. Thus, it’s nothing and he gets consigned to the naughty list. Thumbtack manufacturers - given the amount thrown on the road, the puncture rate was still low. Step up your game. Meintjes - he was onscreen three times today. That is not how you roll Louis. If you keep this up, my equilibrium will be destroyed. I will have to discontinue the lithium, as Tony Soprano was once told. Although not a big enough fan to follow cycling with too much interest (tour de France is my limit) I thoroughly enjoy reading your posts on the subject. Very informative and keeps me up to speed and in case I fancy a few hours of Lycra clad monsters putting their bodies to the limit if ever I fancy tuning in👍🏻
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Post by chuffedstokie on Jul 3, 2023 20:08:16 GMT
First ever roundabout in the United Kingdom was in Letchworth and I lived there for a while.
Great reporting Bod.
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Post by Bod on Jul 3, 2023 23:28:59 GMT
Stage 4
Dax - Nogaro Circuit (181.8km)
The first day which starts and finishes in France and on paper looks like it won’t be winning any awards for its memorability. There is one classified climb all day. It’s a fourth category and worth one point. For parity, there is only one intermediate sprint too. Seems I picked the wrong week to quit taking amphetamines.
I’m off work for this stage, but I may have to tap out at various moments as I’m only flesh and blood. That said, I’ll probably watch every minute of it! The finish is on a race track (circuit Paul Armangnac to bestow upon it its alternate name) and the finale has 4 switchbacks in the final 3km. The fight to get near the front as the group approaches that will be even more frenetic than usual. If you lose your place on any of them, you will likely be out of the reckoning. The final 180° is with 750m or so to the finish, before opening onto a long, straight to the line.
Same names as stage 3 should feature but some will have to miss out due to the nature of the last 3000m. Sharp elbows needed to keep your men safe and that element of risk aversion to fit in gaps that aren’t really gaps. SQS and Alpecin have the strongest teams for this type of finish, but Lotto will want to be involved, as will IWG, which will then drag DSM into it and so on.
I make Philipsen as favourite again, but would like to see Girmay better positioned to see what he can do in a drawn out sprint. That said, he would have to wear safety glasses to open the champagne after the cork incident…
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Post by Bod on Jul 4, 2023 17:36:20 GMT
Stage 4
Yay, it’s a flat sprint stage with nothing to break up the monotony. What could go wrong?
The proceedings commenced with Jakobsen complaining before the stage about yesterday’s finish. Given the horrific nature of his injuries when Groenewegen cleaned him out I see his point. However, the sprint was fine and he is simply wrong and frustrated that he didn’t have the position that Philipsen did.
As for today, no-one wanted to get in a break. No-one. Victor Campanaerts, who would get in a breakaway in a solo time trial wasn’t interested. Luis Leon Sanchez hid. Simon Geschke gave fucks below 1. Doomed breakaways aren’t cool anymore kids. Everyone wants to win. Booooo! If I didn’t want to be entertained I’d watch us play every week. 20km and one person tried it. Half-heartedly. And failed. Could this win the combativity prize for Michael Gogl?
This is almost like the moment when the curtain is pulled back in The Wizard of Oz. All the magic is gone. No-one will attack because they know they’ll get be caught and so they won’t even play the time-honoured game of ‘We’ll pretend it might succeed.’ 30km. No break, still no interest. Thus the day was set. This might seem like a tactically astute thing to do by a lot of teams but when the organisers decide that they will include lumpy finishes on the majority of stages, then the sprinters may think differently then. Let a break go. Dangle them. Tease them. Like when Babestation used to give you the preview, then dash hopes when it seems that joy may be imminent.
The logical approach for me if I were Prudhomme would be speak to selected teams and say ‘Some of you will rely on wildcard invites to this in the future and for all ASO events.’ Don’t say any more than that. Leave that there to be processed. It’s not all doom and gloom though as I’ve removed my fungal toenail and done the ironing. Simultaneously. This is the kind of race day that would have seen ‘TdF Out’ graffiti on the D-road. Fans by the roadside were chanting ‘Refund’ and ‘Less testing, more EPO.’
Finally someone attacked and the cheers rang out across the land. Cosnefroy and Delaplace played sacrificial lambs or perhaps it was sheer boredom? At one point Pogacar actually fell asleep in the saddle. However, even given the sheer shititude of the racing, the most disturbing element (on two fronts) was the appearance at the roadside of a couple dressed as musketeers. Now, if you are going to go to the effort of sourcing a musketeer outfit, then at least have the decency to do it as a trio or quartet if we must include d’Artagnan. Worse than that though was the idea that these musketeers represent a lack of fear and a swashbuckling approach to life on a stage which was the polar opposite. I hope the couple are throughly ashamed of themselves. Shameful shit.
I’m current rewatching The Sopranos again and at numerous times today I harnessed my inner Livia and thought ‘I wish the Lord would take me now.’ The break fizzled into nothingness and at 10km the peloton was spread 8 abreast across the road with still no team pushing. Finally, at 5km the speed was on and it appeared that an actual race had broken out. Roundabouts, turns, elbows and shoulders. Sadly no heads or knees.
At 3km, everyone was well placed apart from WVA who was sitting back near Alpecin, as Laporte looked for him like a lost puppy, and Welsford who went the wrong way around a roundabout and was toast for the top places in the sprint. Boom! Crash! Jakobsen down at 1.5km to go. Chaos, crashes in the finish straight too but MVDP bulldozes his way through, pilots Philipsen to 150m from the line and it’s two for two for him. Ewan second and Bauhaus third. WVA doesn’t really contest the sprint and still finished ninth. Cav was fifth but was left sprinting into the wind as he couldn’t quite find a wheel to hold. He’s up there though, but Philipsen is proving why he’s ranked where he is. Great result for Ewan. I’ve picked him for my fantasy team for the previous two years and he’s done nothing. I left him out this year, so without being paranoid I put his good form down to an Antipodean desire to spite me.
Yellow - A Yates Green - Philipsen Mountains - Powless Young rider - Pogacar
Sprint danger rating
3.5 Abdoujaparov’s out of 5. Should not have been anything other than a single Abdou, but the amount of crashes and peeping through fingertips elevated it. The finish itself was not dangerous but it played out differently and if people end up on their heads then it is more Human Centipede level than Toy Story.
Winners
Philipsen. Another stage and in green.
Alpecin - MVDP is the best lead out man in the world. There, I said it.
Ewan - looking good and staying upright.
Losers
Jakobsen - crashed. As a rider who is quite fragile now (and rightfully so) this could really mess him up. A relief that the next few days are not suited to him.
Welsford - ‘Don’t go right at the roundabout. Don’t go right at the roundabout. Don’t go right at the roundabout.’ Goes right at the roundabout.
Everyone who watched. The dullest of the dull. Words will be exchanged I would think between organisers and certain people.
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Post by salopstick on Jul 4, 2023 19:05:39 GMT
Seriously bod. Get a blog
Drove to Scotland for work missed it. ITV app through car for the commentary though.
Driving home tomorrow will miss that too. Stopping off for a quick loop up the mennock pass. #not a climber
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Post by thehartshillbadger on Jul 4, 2023 19:17:59 GMT
Seriously bod. Get a blog Drove to Scotland for work missed it. ITV app through car for the commentary though. Driving home tomorrow will miss that too. Stopping off for a quick loop up the mennock pass. #not a climber Great idea to get a blog if Bod doesn’t already have one. Most informative
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Post by Bod on Jul 4, 2023 22:50:45 GMT
Stage 4 housekeeping. MVDP relegated from 16th to 22nd on the stage for shouldering Girmay in the sprint. Philipsen won so I imagine Alpecin and MVDP have just shrugged and laughed.
Stage 5 - Pau - Laruns (162.7km.)
Into the mountains they go. The Pyrenees, if we want to get all bourgeois and technical about it. The first stage for the climbers to test themselves on some long slopes. The Col du Soudet is HC, 15.2km at an average of 7%. It’s a bit of an uneven climb though,with some sections below 4% and some approaching 14%. It is crested at 87.5km and damnit if it’s anything other than a breakaway eating up mountain points (Powless will have restless leg syndrome tonight) then the world has been tuned upside down. UAE should be controlling the race, which they quite enjoy and are comfortable with although Jumbo may want to get involved too to disrupt a little.
Col d’ Ichere is a 3rd cat at 125km gone, which leaves the Marie Blanque after 145km (1st cat, 7.8km at 8.4%. The last 5km are in excess of 10% though and this could be the launch for someone.) An 11km descent and then a draggy, very gradual rise to the line for the remaining 7km.
I’m going to go into it with low expectations as anything else is a bonus. It’s the approach I have taken with us since 1978.
The time gaps on GC aren’t significant enough where someone of any three week relevance can be allowed to go up the road. Conversely, Pogacar loves winning and winning brings bonus seconds and given that Pogacar is generally quicker than Vingegaard then… With that in mind, stage 5 is one of the designated special stages, so the first three over the Marie Blanque get an additional 8, 5 and 2 bonus seconds. This may impact on how much leeway a break is given.
Pointless making a prediction, other than Powless hoping to get in the break and beyond that, I have no clue. It could be where Lutsenko tries to do something to claw back a little time or someone makes a play for the mountains jersey to challenge Powless. Paret-Peintre, for example. Mind you, at the minute Lutsenko looks like he is familiar with the concept of racing, but not the execution.
Luis Leon Sanchez has abandoned the race (broken collarbone,) as has Jacopopo Guarnieri for Lotto. That puts Cav down to one main lead out man (Bol) and although Cavendish likes to surf the wheels at times, LLS is a great road captain and will be missed.
Nerd facts - Since 2000 only French riders have won more TdF stages than British riders (60 to 56.) If you had told someone this in the mid 1990’s you would have been laughed out of town.
Bring on the mountains and bid au revoir to the pure sprinters.
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Post by Bod on Jul 5, 2023 17:34:48 GMT
I’ll need a smoke and lie down before I can summarise today.
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Post by chuffedstokie on Jul 5, 2023 17:39:22 GMT
I’ll need a smoke and lie down before I can summarise today. [br I'm just in from work Bod, looking forward to it. Take your time 👍
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Post by Bod on Jul 5, 2023 21:49:05 GMT
Stage 5
Mega break. Pow!!! 36 riders. Too many to list but they included WVA, Pedersen, Campanaerts, Soler, Hindley, Alaphilippe, Ciccone, Tejada, Uran, Chaves, Martinez and Gall. Some real, real quality in there, to the point of being GC threats (Hindley in particular.) A breakaway then launched from within the breakaway (very post-modern) and off they went. As strong trios go, this deserved a capital S. Three powerhouses and they had a 1 minute lead on the huge breakaway group and the UAE-lead peloton at almost 3 minutes back as they began the Soudet. Pedersen was soon dropped and WVA took to the front and Campanaerts practised some anal breathing to hold on Van Aert’s wheel.
Little bit of consternation but not panic by UAE who called back Soler from the break to rejoin the peloton and do some pulling. That was due to Hindley’s presence in the break and he couldn’t (or shouldn’t, perhaps) be gifted chunks of time. He’s a former Giro winner and on his day is very hard to shake off in the mountains. The break reformed 2.5km from the summit of the Soudet and then Gall (big fan of his as he earned me huge fantasy points in the Tour de Suisse) made a break of his own. Gall is a fabulous, if aesthetically challenged, climber and he took the mountains points and ultimately the jersey at the end of the stage. Saying that, he is such a weak time trialist that he can be given much more wiggle room on the GC than Hindley.
The strongmen of the break reformed on the descent and then into the valley and the peloton at 4 mins. UAE were chasing hard. Not gasket-blowing hard, but they had strung the bunch out. Why did they let the break get such a lead? Not sure that could do anything about it really. The break was too large, strong and cohesive.
With 5.5km of the Marie Blanque left, WVA was dropped and the breakaway numbers dwindled even more with a lead of 2 mins 30 on the remaining peloton. Berthe from AG2R was putting in monster turns for Gall until he finally swung off and Gall and Hindley forged ahead. For the peloton, UAE had three riders remaining, as did Jumbo and the gap to the leaders was simply not coming down. Majka is dropped and UAE are left with Pogacar and Yates. Decision time then. Yates is in yellow, Pogacar is the king though, so king trumps yellow and Yates is dropped, as is Rodriguez. Kuss is setting a crazy pace and now it’s Kuss, Vingegaard and Pogacar as the leading three in the pelotonal remnants.
Hindley kicked at 1.7km to go and Gall can’t go with him. Then behind, BOOOOOOMMMMMM! Vingegaard attacks from his trio and Pogacar can’t respond. Ooh La La. Pog has nothing and the Dane sails away. Vingegaard put 40 seconds into Pogacar in 500 metres! Kuss comes back to Pogacar. Le carnage. Vingegaard literally cut a path through the spectators and just accelerated to pass riders as fans had to move or be demolished by him. In the space of a few minutes he caught everyone who was left from the break bar Hindley and then asked them to work with him on the run in to the finish. I am not fluent enough in Italian, Austrian or German to know exactly what Ciccone, Gall and Buchmann said in response, but I can confirm that it wasn’t ‘Yeah Jonas, let’s do some through and off and then buy a house on a hill with a picket fence and live like a family.’ Pogacar’s tank was empty and he came in in a group of contenders at 1 min 04 secs after Vingegaard and 1 min 38 after Hindley. What Vingegaard did today was what Pogacar did throughout the early part of the season. He just blitzed his rivals and looked unstoppable.
For the race as a whole, we need Adam Yates to be in consistent form so that UAE have two options with which to threaten Vingegaard. Riders were all over the place and Vingegaard performed the cycling equivalent of making most of them submit, in the style of Marc Rocco.
After pausing for breath, the outcome is Hindley won the stage and took yellow. Vingegaard moved into second and Ciccone third. Adam Yates and Pogacar slid to fifth and sixth overall.
Yellow - Hindley Points - Philipsen Mountains - Gall Young rider - Pogacar
GC
1. Hindley 2. Vingegaard @ 47s 3. Ciccone @ 1 min 03s 4. Buchmann @ 1 min 11s 5. A Yates @ 1 min 34s 6. Pogacar @ 1 min 40s
Winners
Hindley - took the stage, took yellow and stayed in a strong break and looked in complete control.
Vingegaard - didn’t win the stage but the aim of the game is to distance Pogacar and today that makes him probably a bigger winner than Hindley.
Gall - showed that his form in Switzerland was no fluke.
Pidcock - solid riding, especially because he must have been busy preparing for his GCSE’s
BORA - Hindley in first on GC and Buchmann in fourth is a good place to be. Buchmann is no mug in the mountains.
Losers
UAE - the break should have been controlled. I don’t know how, but something like today should not happen when you are trying to boss the race. They burned out riders chasing and in the final, Yates and Pogacar couldn’t cut it.
Landa - He was never going to win the race, but steady, reliable, Landa is a great racer. Today though, he has ceded time to people he really needed to stay close to like Skeljmose, Adam Yates, Ciccone and Rodriguez.
Today was supposed to be the warm up day for the summit finish at Cauterets. Hmm, nope. I just hope that Vingegaard has poked the bear and Pogacar recovers, consolidates and takes the fight to Jumbo. An enjoyable first day in the Pyrenees. To continue with my Sopranos rewatch, what Vingegaard did to Pogacar was akin to when Furio proved himself to Tony by fucking people up in a massage parlour. At the end of the scene, everyone knew he meant business. Vingegaard was all business today.
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Post by salopstick on Jul 6, 2023 6:00:40 GMT
A brilliant stage.
I know he’s a giro a winner but I don’t think hindley will win it. That means Pog has to go for it on stages like today.
Vinegard was brilliant
The short hilly TT means there isn’t massive gains to be had there
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Post by Bod on Jul 6, 2023 11:48:29 GMT
A brilliant stage. I know he’s a giro a winner but I don’t think hindley will win it. That means Pog has to go for it on stages like today. Vinegard was brilliant The short hilly TT means there isn’t massive gains to be had there Agreed that Hindley won’t win it, but he has hopefully made himself enough of a concern that Jumbo have to watch him which could allow Pogacar to play off that. UAE have that interesting dynamic at the moment where Yates is not quite in the uber domestique role yet but that has to be his realistic role. That, or stay in contention deep enough into the race and then completely bury himself in attacking Jumbo. I think that Pogacar is a pure racer though. He likes winning. Playing safe cards for a podium doesn’t seem his style so more likely to see him trying and failing spectacularly than being conservative. We shall see what today brings then with a 3rd cat, two first cats and an HC. First summit finish too and after Aspin and Tourmalet, the finish looks relatively docile. It’s long at 16km, but has only one really tough section at 11-13km up at 10%. That said, after a day of hard racing (if it is) a comparatively straightforward climb can be anything but.
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Post by knype on Jul 6, 2023 11:49:48 GMT
Anyone watched the Tour De France series on Netflix yet? It's very good!
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