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Post by Miles Offside on Sept 2, 2019 10:02:49 GMT
The doctor says "I've got some bad news for you. You've only got ten."
The patient says "Ten what? Ten months? Ten weeks? Ten days?"
The doctor says "Nine".
(Thanks to The Tipster, who told me this last night.
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Post by musik on Sept 2, 2019 10:27:17 GMT
Minutes?
Btw, when he went to the doctorS - how many doctors did he see?
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Post by elystokie on Sept 2, 2019 11:40:51 GMT
Minutes? Btw, when he went to the doctorS - how many doctors did he see? That's just the way we phrase it musik, we'd probably say "I'm going to *see* the doctor" but also "I'm going *to* the doctors" - maybe because when we do need to see our health professional we generally go to a 'Doctors Practice' where there's usually more than one doctor. It could also be because our language is occasionally unfathomable, I'm not sure. |
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Post by bigjohnritchie on Sept 2, 2019 11:46:13 GMT
Minutes? Btw, when he went to the doctorS - how many doctors did he see? That's just the way we phrase it musik, we'd probably say "I'm going to *see* the doctor" but also "I'm going *to* the doctors" - maybe because when we do need to see our health professional we generally go to a 'Doctors Practice' where there's usually more than one doctor. It could also be because our language is occasionally unfathomable, I'm not sure. I presume that it's the way we speak as opposed to " proper English"....I guess it's short for " doctor's surgery or practice" not plural |
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Post by elystokie on Sept 2, 2019 11:49:30 GMT
That's just the way we phrase it musik, we'd probably say "I'm going to *see* the doctor" but also "I'm going *to* the doctors" - maybe because when we do need to see our health professional we generally go to a 'Doctors Practice' where there's usually more than one doctor. It could also be because our language is occasionally unfathomable, I'm not sure. I presume that it's the way we speak as opposed to " proper English"....I guess it's short for " doctor's surgery or practice" not plural Yeh, that's what I was trying to say. Evidently not very well  |
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Post by bigjohnritchie on Sept 2, 2019 11:55:26 GMT
I presume that it's the way we speak as opposed to " proper English"....I guess it's short for " doctor's surgery or practice" not plural Yeh, that's what I was trying to say. Evidently not very well Apologies Ely....I think that you did say it...... very well,! |
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Post by Miles Offside on Sept 2, 2019 12:27:47 GMT
That's it, I'm definitely not giving up the day job for a stand-up routine.
Let me flesh it out a bit and see if this works -
A man goes to see his doctor to discuss the results of his tests. The doctor says "I've got some bad news, I'm afraid. You've only got ten."
The patient is both alarmed and puzzled. He says "Ten what? Ten months? Ten weeks? Ten days?"
The doctor pauses for a while, looking at his watch, before he says "Nine..."
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Post by pretzel on Sept 2, 2019 12:32:27 GMT
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Post by bigjohnritchie on Sept 2, 2019 12:33:08 GMT
That's it, I'm definitely not giving up the day job for a stand-up routine. Let me flesh it out a bit and see if this works - A man goes to see his doctor to discuss the results of his tests. The doctor says "I've got some bad news, I'm afraid. You've only got ten." The patient is both alarmed and puzzled. He says "Ten what? Ten months? Ten weeks? Ten days?" The doctor pauses for a while, looking at his watch, before he says "Nine..." Was the doctor German? |
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Post by Billybigbollox on Sept 2, 2019 14:52:32 GMT
I presume that it's the way we speak as opposed to " proper English"....I guess it's short for " doctor's surgery or practice" not plural Yeh, that's what I was trying to say. Evidently not very well If it’s possible to speak illiterately then you manage it Ely. 😁 |
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Post by mickmillslovechild on Sept 2, 2019 15:12:04 GMT
That's it, I'm definitely not giving up the day job for a stand-up routine. Let me flesh it out a bit and see if this works - A man goes to see his doctor to discuss the results of his tests. The doctor says "I've got some bad news, I'm afraid. You've only got ten." The patient is both alarmed and puzzled. He says "Ten what? Ten months? Ten weeks? Ten days?" The doctor pauses for a while, looking at his watch, before he says "Nine..." Was the doctor German?
the doctor was Huthy
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Post by Staffsoatcake on Sept 2, 2019 15:23:58 GMT
The doctor says "I've got some bad news for you. You've only got ten." The patient says "Ten what? Ten months? Ten weeks? Ten days?" The doctor says "Nine". (Thanks to The Tipster, who told me this last night. Was the Dr.German? |
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Post by ilfracoombestokie3 on Sept 2, 2019 16:37:58 GMT
Man goes to the Doctor with an apple up his arse.
Doctors Says " Cox's
The man says " That's fine, but what about the apple "
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Post by Staffsoatcake on Sept 2, 2019 21:40:45 GMT
"Doctor,I have broken my arm in 3 places".
Doctor,"well don't go to those places".
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Post by rivival on Sept 3, 2019 2:31:47 GMT
Doctor said you've only got three minutes to live
what can you do for me asked the man
A boiled egg^
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Post by marylandstoke on Sept 3, 2019 12:40:20 GMT
My Doctor told me I had the highest cholesterol he had ever seen. He said “when you die, which you will very soon, would you will your body to me”
I said certainly, for medical research?
He said no, so I can hang you in the back garden for the blue tits to peck at..
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Post by drjeffsdiscobarge on Sept 3, 2019 12:47:40 GMT
Doctor Doctor, you've got to help me, I've lost my memory! When did this happen? ... When did what happen?  |
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Post by drjeffsdiscobarge on Sept 3, 2019 12:49:45 GMT
Doctor Doctor you have to help me, my hands won't stop shaking! Do you drink a lot? No, I spill most of it! |
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Post by Staffsoatcake on Sept 3, 2019 13:39:15 GMT
Doctor Doctor,my cock is all orange.
What is your job?
I'm unemployed Doctor.
What is your hobby?
I sit all day watching porn films and eat bags and bags of Wotsits.
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Post by bathstoke on Sept 3, 2019 14:12:55 GMT
Why isn’t Wilco Johnson in that video... |
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Post by pretzel on Sept 4, 2019 5:21:27 GMT
Why isn’t Wilco Johnson in that video... Wiki says He left the band in April 1977, following disagreements over the tracks to be included in the Sneakin' Suspicion album. Johnson maintains that he was kicked out of the band, while the remaining band members claimed that he had left voluntarily. |
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Post by Northy on Sept 4, 2019 9:17:52 GMT
Doctor said you've only got three minutes to live what can you do for me asked the man A boiled egg^ More of a poached in that time |
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