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Post by Deleted on Mar 16, 2019 1:59:52 GMT
Saw this on Twitter and it shocked me.
I remember the girl in my year at school who hung herself with her school tie when we were 11. Heard her parents were getting divorced and she was getting bullied by a girl in the year above for having short nails. The bully made a noose gesture when she found out she had died.
I was bullied at school from about year 7 up until I left in year 11. I thought about killing myself but I managed to clear my head and not go through with it. Not everyone is so lucky and the school were very unhelpful and did the bare minimum to help me. It has to change, but how can it change? We can't be going forward with 7 year olds trying to off themselves because of being bullied.
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Post by Boothen on Mar 16, 2019 7:16:36 GMT
Back in my day we were encouraged to fight back, by teachers and parents alike. Give the bully a bloody nose or knock a tooth or two out and they'd soon think twice about their actions. Perhaps they should stop punishing kids if/when they fight back.
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Post by telfordstoke on Mar 16, 2019 7:55:25 GMT
My daughter was singled out age 7/8 and I took heart in mouth and spoke to the parents of the child concerned, who stood there stony faced and simply said their child would not behave like that. My daughter weathered the storm and cut said child dead, they got bored and move on. 2 years later, said mother takes her child out of the school cos the school aren’t dealing with bullying cos all the girls have ostracised her little angel. Karma I called it.
It’s a difficult and emotive subject, my Mrs teaches and often has sets of parents in to discuss it, but with social media spreading shit outside of the confines of the school environment it’s one that is never easily dealt with.
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Post by santy on Mar 16, 2019 8:02:09 GMT
Casting my mind back, there were kids who absolutely were the targets for bullying, but more often than not in those cases it was their parents fault for essentially making their children a target.
Either by how they had raised them (to behave strangely towards others) or by extremely low standards of hygiene which at 7/8/9 years old is far more down to the parents than the child. Even in the teenage years, if kids haven't been educated on it properly by their parents, they don't just magically wake up with the knowledge of how to fix it one day.
It also comes down to the definition of whats bullying, because there's a lot of stuff said that can be counted as bullying but what happens when you reply? I know there was a couple of lasses who were phenomenally bitchy and standard bullying remarks. Start taking the piss out of their last exam results, and various other things had I then become the bully or is it something else?
An awful lot of it seems to be in the response. Had the situation in year 10 where I got punched in the face been that and I did nothing in response, it seems fairly logical to say I've been the victim of bullying. Where instead that just lead to two lads scrapping and then the cliche of being pulled apart and laughing it off afterwards it's not bullying anymore is it?
In reality I could write a massive sob story about the years through high school in which I was the victim of bullying. Single mum household, couldn't afford decent clothes, couldn't afford certain school trips, carrying too much weight, was a fairly quiet lad. The hallmarks for easy target were all there. There were many instances in which I was targeted which if I dwelt on could certainly feel bad.
On the other hand there's probably half a dozen or so people who feel like I bullied them. Perhaps even in cases where I wasn't being malicious, just general piss taking. Maybe its more.
Again, perhaps the most serious example I can think of, some kid was giving me shit on a school trip. I just said "no wonder your mum killed herself to get away from you" and he threw an axe at me, came very close to hitting me in fact. What's the process there? He started off being a cunt, the bullying/derogatory remarks. I took it to the next level and was a massive cunt about the fact his mum had died and then he took it to the next level and threw an axe. If you have to adjudicate who is the bully and who is the victim, who wins out? He can paint a picture of me making remarks about his dead mum as the reason why he got emotional and threw an axe. I've got the story about how he unreasonably threw an axe at me, and how he had begun earlier by making various remarks to me.
Ultimately, kids are cunts are in my mind. Capable of horribly vindictive things, mainly because they're learning societal boundaries.
Coming back to the story at hand, who has been teaching 7 year olds how to tie someone up? That's not a skill set you acquire by age 7. Have they got some fucking Bear Grylls survival guide youtube show on a tablet next to them? How does that happen without others knowing? How does the mother not realise the pinching marks pre-suicide attempt? How does a 7 year old know about how to even begin committing suicide? My life experiences lead me to suggest its never as black and white as is made out.
I always wonder why parents seem to accept what their own children say at such face value, perhaps part of it is because I don't have kids of my own to have the parental instinct towards but I base my thoughts on how aware of the world I was as a kid. At age 7/8/9 I had little to no idea what suicide was, but I was perfectly capable of lying to get what I wanted in life. You learn to lie at a very early age. Deceit is something that comes naturally to all people. Odds are how most kids are raised by age 4 or so they've learned how to lie about something to avoid getting in trouble, even if its the worst composed lie in the history of mankind - such as denying eating the biscuits while covered in biscuit crumbs.
Teachers and schools have to try and impose that objectivity, to see the whole story but parents so rarely want to hear both sides based on what you hear them say.
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Post by stokieinaus on Mar 16, 2019 8:09:42 GMT
Kids can be the most lovable creatures on earth but they can also be the most evil.
Would hate to go back to my school years.
Whats the answer? I have no idea but what ever has been done does not work, as there is as much bullying now as there was when I was at school.
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Post by trentvale68 on Mar 16, 2019 13:21:22 GMT
I think that people who were bullies in childhood often stay bullies later in life too. A leopard never changes its spots.
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Post by FbrgVaStkFan on Mar 16, 2019 13:56:58 GMT
I think that people who were bullies in childhood often stay bullies later in life too. A leopard never changes its spots. I disagree, everyone has the ability to change and most do. I'm not and I'm betting you are not the same person you were many years ago. I was a smart-assed little prick saying hurtful things and laughing about it in my younger and not so younger days. People change, mostly by just growing up or meeting that one person who challenges you or loves you or both. |
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Post by Pretty Little Boother on Mar 17, 2019 14:51:04 GMT
Kids can be very clever and also very evil.
I'd like to say there's not a bullying problem at my school but there very well could be, if they're doing it so we can't see it then we simply don't know unless they tell us.
We will do assemblies and PSHE days etc about bullying but apart from that, if the kid doesn't tell us there's a problem, there's not an awful lot that can be done.
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Post by salopstick on Mar 17, 2019 14:53:04 GMT
Kids can be very clever and also very evil. I'd like to say there's not a bullying problem at my school but there very well could be, if they're doing it so we can't see it then we simply don't know unless they tell us. We will do assemblies and PSHE days etc about bullying but apart from that, if the kid doesn't tell us there's a problem, there's not an awful lot that can be done. In clear cut cases should the parents be prosecuted |
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Post by mattyd on Mar 17, 2019 14:54:08 GMT
My daughter was singled out age 7/8 and I took heart in mouth and spoke to the parents of the child concerned, who stood there stony faced and simply said their child would not behave like that. My daughter weathered the storm and cut said child dead, they got bored and move on. 2 years later, said mother takes her child out of the school cos the school aren’t dealing with bullying cos all the girls have ostracised her little angel. Karma I called it. It’s a difficult and emotive subject, my Mrs teaches and often has sets of parents in to discuss it, but with social media spreading shit outside of the confines of the school environment it’s one that is never easily dealt with. Simmilar happened to my daughter, she had a huge bruise where this feral little twat hit her with a bamboo cane, I went to see his father and he was a total knob head, I told him if it happened again I would beat the living daylights out of him, needless to stay it didn't. |
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Post by felonious on Mar 17, 2019 15:03:39 GMT
I think that people who were bullies in childhood often stay bullies later in life too. A leopard never changes its spots. I disagree, everyone has the ability to change and most do. I'm not and I'm betting you are not the same person you were many years ago. I was a smart-assed little prick saying hurtful things and laughing about it in my younger and not so younger days. People change, mostly by just growing up or meeting that one person who challenges you or loves you or both. I attended a 25 year school reunion some years back and unsurprisingly the school bully wasn't there. There was a discussion about him and it appeared that he had turned his life around and was a completely decent human being. The poor kids who's school lives and probably later lives that he destroyed were not there either. I like to think that he stayed away through abject shame. |
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Post by felonious on Mar 17, 2019 15:15:07 GMT
Kids can be very clever and also very evil. I'd like to say there's not a bullying problem at my school but there very well could be, if they're doing it so we can't see it then we simply don't know unless they tell us. We will do assemblies and PSHE days etc about bullying but apart from that, if the kid doesn't tell us there's a problem, there's not an awful lot that can be done. It will be going on and it's a judgement call by the poor kid to decide whether involving a school and/or parent will make the situation better or worse.
From experience of parents I talk to schools are more bothered about box ticking. My daughter had a problem and was told by the form tutor that she was being silly and the school became very defensive when I emailed the head of year to put it in writing. The lying bastard in question denied it was him and blamed his mates. It only resolved itself when I spoke to a couple of the lads involved and gave them 48 hours before I started turning up on parents doorsteps.
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Post by bathstoke on Mar 17, 2019 15:38:38 GMT
Back in my day we were encouraged to fight back, by teachers and parents alike. Give the bully a bloody nose or knock a tooth or two out and they'd soon think twice about their actions. Perhaps they should stop punishing kids if/when they fight back. It’s another world in schools from when we were kids. I remember by dad taking me to Golden Gloves from around the age of eight. I went through them bullies like a dose of salts. Now I would have been expelled. Conversely, if I’d have gone to posh school as a kid, they’d have made me rugby captain & I’d now be a CEO on a six figure salary. Fates a fickle £@#&er |
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Post by elystokie on Mar 17, 2019 16:14:58 GMT
Back in my day we were encouraged to fight back, by teachers and parents alike. Give the bully a bloody nose or knock a tooth or two out and they'd soon think twice about their actions. Perhaps they should stop punishing kids if/when they fight back. It’s another world in schools from when we were kids. I remember by dad taking me to Golden Gloves from around the age of eight. I went through them bullies like a dose of salts. Now I would have been expelled. Conversely, if I’d have gone to posh school as a kid, they’d have made me rugby captain & I’d now be a CEO on a six figure salary. Fates a fickle £@#&er Being able to throw a punch properly is/was a great bully deterrent, taught my lads as soon as they were old enough. Cost me when my youngest caught me with corker in the plexus once that put out of the game for a good ten minutes, he was only about 14 too :/ When you see most punches thrown it's like a slap with a closed hand, a backfiring elastic band would do more damage. Don't know if it's as useful in these days of cyber bullying mind. |
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Post by xchpotter on Mar 17, 2019 18:23:24 GMT
Give the bullies and their parents a damn good thrashing in front of the school in assembly. Sorted.
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Post by chuffedstokie on Mar 17, 2019 18:48:41 GMT
Ignorant cowards.
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Post by yes on Mar 17, 2019 19:19:11 GMT
I had it through childhood too.
I was an easy target, fat, smelly, dirty, the works really.
In hindsight, most bullying is kids trying to fit in with their mates, it becomes a peer pressure thing. I did have two fights in school with bullies, don't think it was much of a deterrent because I can't fight my way out of a wet paper bag!
I'd like to try and raise my kids to be the special ones that stick up for the kids getting bullied as I'm sure most parents would. Kids are worried they'll also get bullied by association.
Not sure it's that easy though.
Some cunts never outgrow it though.
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Post by The Drunken Communist on Mar 17, 2019 19:59:14 GMT
Simmilar happened to my daughter, she had a huge bruise where this feral little twat hit her with a bamboo cane, I went to see his father and he was a total knob head, I told him if it happened again I would beat the living daylights out of him, needless to stay it didn't. Have I missed the sarcasm here or do you really think a young kid hitting another young kid is completely unacceptable, but a grown man beating the shit out of another grown man is prefectly fine? |
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Post by trentvale68 on Mar 17, 2019 22:22:13 GMT
I can well imagine Cameron and Osborne were premier league bullies.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 17, 2019 22:45:47 GMT
I think that people who were bullies in childhood often stay bullies later in life too. A leopard never changes its spots. I disagree, everyone has the ability to change and most do. I'm not and I'm betting you are not the same person you were many years ago. I was a smart-assed little prick saying hurtful things and laughing about it in my younger and not so younger days. People change, mostly by just growing up or meeting that one person who challenges you or loves you or both. I definitely was one at primary school, a real little shit. I could never figure out why other kids didn’t want to scrap etc. I’d like to think I’m not now, but it’s definitely still there occasionally - it’s a strange thing because I need grit for my job, it takes some managing to not be a real bastard. Not nice! |
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Post by felonious on Mar 18, 2019 8:31:26 GMT
Simmilar happened to my daughter, she had a huge bruise where this feral little twat hit her with a bamboo cane, I went to see his father and he was a total knob head, I told him if it happened again I would beat the living daylights out of him, needless to stay it didn't. Have I missed the sarcasm here or do you really think a young kid hitting another young kid is completely unacceptable, but a grown man beating the shit out of another grown man is prefectly fine? Prefects don't do anything about the bullying either not even in the perfect world out there that some imagine we live in. |
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Post by mattyd on Mar 18, 2019 20:33:06 GMT
Simmilar happened to my daughter, she had a huge bruise where this feral little twat hit her with a bamboo cane, I went to see his father and he was a total knob head, I told him if it happened again I would beat the living daylights out of him, needless to stay it didn't. Have I missed the sarcasm here or do you really think a young kid hitting another young kid is completely unacceptable, but a grown man beating the shit out of another grown man is prefectly fine? A feral little cunt ( Lad ) 2 years older than my daughter whacking her with a cane is tantamount to assault, and when his equally feral father does fuck all, then it's time to up the game a bit...Put it this way...IT NEVER HAPPENED AGAIN. |
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Post by crapslinger on Mar 18, 2019 20:46:42 GMT
I disagree, everyone has the ability to change and most do. I'm not and I'm betting you are not the same person you were many years ago. I was a smart-assed little prick saying hurtful things and laughing about it in my younger and not so younger days. People change, mostly by just growing up or meeting that one person who challenges you or loves you or both. I definitely was one at primary school, a real little shit. I could never figure out why other kids didn’t want to scrap etc. I’d like to think I’m not now, but it’s definitely still there occasionally - it’s a strange thing because I need grit for my job, it takes some managing to not be a real bastard. Not nice! You aren't Mark Hughes are you ? |
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Post by crapslinger on Mar 18, 2019 20:50:38 GMT
Give the schools more powers to deal with the little bastards, bring back the cane and use it when applicable, stop your kids if possible using social media without supervision, go into the school and speak to the headmaster/mistress make sure the incident is recorded with a witness and report it to the police cover all bases.
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