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Post by harryburrows on Aug 12, 2018 13:41:15 GMT
I came on the thread specifically to post this. It was so hyped up upon its release, and smashed all kinds of box office records that I was looking forward to it when I saw they were putting it on telly. I pride myself on giving things a chance but I couldn't stand it and turned it off after the hour mark. I've tried twice more since then and still haven't finished it. It's just so indescribably boring. It's not a bad film in terms of its premise, acting, direction, aesthetic etc, it's just as boring a piece of film as I can imagine. Great cast as well just as you say indescribable boring
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Post by DentySCFC on Aug 12, 2018 13:46:00 GMT
Thunderpants Nutty Professor 2: The Klumps Scary Movie 4 Paul Blart: Mall Cop Ready to Rumble Semi-Pro Larry Crowne Anchorman 2 Transformers: Dark of the Moon Gangster Squad Big Fish Mother! The Boondock Saints
All crap.
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Post by harryburrows on Aug 12, 2018 13:56:43 GMT
Troy should have been a great film , but they managed to make a wonderful piece of history Into a bore fest
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Post by thevoid on Aug 12, 2018 15:18:32 GMT
Thunderpants Nutty Professor 2: The Klumps Scary Movie 4 Paul Blart: Mall Cop Ready to Rumble Semi-Pro Larry Crowne Anchorman 2 Transformers: Dark of the Moon Gangster Squad Big Fish Mother! The Boondock Saints All crap. Mother was freakin' weird.
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Post by Vadiation_Ribe on Aug 12, 2018 16:07:45 GMT
These were all garbage. Please don't watch them. I always watch films to the end, even if its painful.
2046 (I thought it was going to be a cool sci-fi, but it was a slow, boring yawn-fest - and I don't mind a slow film if it's good) Five Seconds to Spare (has Ray Winstone been in a worse film?) Anomalisa (supposedly a life-changing comedy) The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert (why did I even watch this? I don't like musicals, and I've barely seen a decent Australian film) Louise-Michel (there are some great French comedies, but this isn't one)
I do like Avatar though.
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Post by chuffedstokie on Aug 12, 2018 16:20:07 GMT
The Jazz singer with Neil Diamond. Got dragged into it by my ex. Oh bloody dear. I could watch The magnificent seven over and over again though. You just fancy the young Mexican bird. now clap....really fast. You've got me nailed, I own up!. Mind you if I could be reincarnated as Steve McQueen I wouldn't complain.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 12, 2018 18:38:49 GMT
You just fancy the young Mexican bird. now clap....really fast. You've got me nailed, I own up!. Mind you if I could be reincarnated as Steve McQueen I wouldn't complain. I'm working on the Yul Brynner look, well on the way to getting the hair do.
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Post by potterinleeds on Aug 12, 2018 20:25:30 GMT
Alexander (2004) - unmitigated shite.
Any of the Pirates of the Caribbean movies - each to their own, but not for me. In fact, anything with Johnny Depp in apart from perhaps 'The Legend of Sleepy Hollow'.
The Hunger (1983) - tedious, pretentious tripe masquerading as sophistication.
Last Tango in Paris (1972) - see The Hunger.
Blair Witch Project (1999) - snoozefest.
Silence of the Lambs (1991) - Anthony Hopkins hams it up. Brian Cox was so much better.
The Land Before Time (1988) - or indeed any of the films with dinosaur character Little Foot in. Anyone on here of a certain age who has kids who are now in their late teens / early 20s will sympathise. It was like eating bags and bags of sugar, and then rubbing sugar into your eyes and ears, and then drinking gallons of maple syrup and then topping it all off with Kendal Mint Cake. Saccharine sweet. Thank god for mass extinctions.
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Post by maninasuitcase on Aug 12, 2018 22:25:12 GMT
Not sure if it's a dreadful movie or not, but I've never watched ET. I love sci-fi films but just can't be arsed to watch that.
Another is independence day. Utter tripe.
Give me a good old 60s sci-fi film every time.
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Post by Pretty Little Boother on Aug 12, 2018 22:33:00 GMT
Alexander (2004) - unmitigated shite. Any of the Pirates of the Caribbean movies - each to their own, but not for me. In fact, anything with Johnny Depp in apart from perhaps 'The Legend of Sleepy Hollow'. The Hunger (1983) - tedious, pretentious tripe masquerading as sophistication. Last Tango in Paris (1972) - see The Hunger.
Blair Witch Project (1999) - snoozefest. Silence of the Lambs (1991) - Anthony Hopkins hams it up. Brian Cox was so much better. The Land Before Time (1988) - or indeed any of the films with dinosaur character Little Foot in. Anyone on here of a certain age who has kids who are now in their late teens / early 20s will sympathise. It was like eating bags and bags of sugar, and then rubbing sugar into your eyes and ears, and then drinking gallons of maple syrup and then topping it all off with Kendal Mint Cake. Saccharine sweet. Thank god for mass extinctions. The Silence of the Lambs is probably top ten material, it's so tensely atmospheric throughout. Buffalo Bill is a great villain. The first Pirates is mint, they rapidly went absolutely wank though.
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Post by Pretty Little Boother on Aug 12, 2018 22:34:22 GMT
Not sure if it's a dreadful movie or not, but I've never watched ET. I love sci-fi films but just can't be arsed to watch that. Another is independence day. Utter tripe. Give me a good old 60s sci-fi film every time. There are far worse SF films out there than Independence Day. It does it's job well, a mindless, semi-comic action blockbuster. I wouldn't call it a classic but "tripe" is a bit unfair.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 13, 2018 5:29:41 GMT
I came on the thread specifically to post this. It was so hyped up upon its release, and smashed all kinds of box office records that I was looking forward to it when I saw they were putting it on telly. I pride myself on giving things a chance but I couldn't stand it and turned it off after the hour mark. I've tried twice more since then and still haven't finished it. It's just so indescribably boring. It's not a bad film in terms of its premise, acting, direction, aesthetic etc, it's just as boring a piece of film as I can imagine. Great cast as well just as you say indescribable boring I watched it at cinema in 3d and loved it so much I bought it in 3d on blue ray....watched it a few times now You miserable cvnt
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Post by partickpotter on Aug 13, 2018 5:50:18 GMT
Thunderpants Nutty Professor 2: The Klumps Scary Movie 4 Paul Blart: Mall Cop Ready to Rumble Semi-Pro Larry Crowne Anchorman 2 Transformers: Dark of the Moon Gangster Squad Big Fish Mother! The Boondock Saints All crap. Mother was freakin' weird. Mother! gets my vote. Pretentious drivel that gets worse and worse the longer the film goes on. And it does go on. And on. And on. 0/10
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Post by harryburrows on Aug 13, 2018 7:03:00 GMT
Great cast as well just as you say indescribable boring I watched it at cinema in 3d and loved it so much I bought it in 3d on blue ray....watched it a few times now You miserable cvnt Still doesn't make it any good though does it ? You still watch all the reruns of " Beadles About " ? . .
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Post by felonious on Aug 13, 2018 7:13:16 GMT
I watched it at cinema in 3d and loved it so much I bought it in 3d on blue ray....watched it a few times now You miserable cvnt Still doesn't make it any good though does it ? You still watch all the reruns of " Beadles About " ? . . Surely Steptoe......and son.?
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Post by harryburrows on Aug 13, 2018 7:15:11 GMT
Still doesn't make it any good though does it ? You still watch all the reruns of " Beadles About " ? . . Surely Steptoe......and son.?
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Post by murphthesurf on Aug 13, 2018 9:20:20 GMT
Alexander (2004) - unmitigated shite. Any of the Pirates of the Caribbean movies - each to their own, but not for me. In fact, anything with Johnny Depp in apart from perhaps 'The Legend of Sleepy Hollow'. The Hunger (1983) - tedious, pretentious tripe masquerading as sophistication. Last Tango in Paris (1972) - see The Hunger. Blair Witch Project (1999) - snoozefest. Silence of the Lambs (1991) - Anthony Hopkins hams it up. Brian Cox was so much better. The Land Before Time (1988) - or indeed any of the films with dinosaur character Little Foot in. Anyone on here of a certain age who has kids who are now in their late teens / early 20s will sympathise. It was like eating bags and bags of sugar, and then rubbing sugar into your eyes and ears, and then drinking gallons of maple syrup and then topping it all off with Kendal Mint Cake. Saccharine sweet. Thank god for mass extinctions. I'm amazed to see the last one marked down as a dud on this MB, Leedsy - doesn't this sort of film usually star Raquel Welch in a fur bikini? --- Exactly the sort of thing that usually has the Oatie's lot glued to their screens for the duration (…… + drooling? Naaaaaah - surely not! )
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Post by thevoid on Aug 13, 2018 10:05:07 GMT
Rise of the Footsoldier 3- two hours of Craig Fairbrass snorting coke and hitting people, with no other discernible plot. Just watch the first one and The Business, far better films.
Green Street 2- for some reason you've got some Millwall and West Ham fans in an American jail. And the gang who win a big arranged fight get early release. Really.
The Wicker Man remake with Nic Cage. As a horror film and tribute to the original, it's atrocious. As a comedy it's absolutely brilliant.
Dune- if you watched Star Wars in a k-hole, you'd have Dune.
The Matrix Reloaded- pretentious crap. At least the third one redeems it by being a straight action film.
Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation- Leatherface is a transvestite. One that Renee Zellwegger and Matthew McConnaughey will want scrubbing from their CVs.
Jason X- stop that, it's silly. I know Friday the 13th films aren't pieces of thought-provoking realism, but this really does 'jump the shark'.
Zoolander 2 and Anchorman 2- both unfunny and unneccesary.
Human Centipede 3- just like Green Street 2 it's set in an American jail. But this time there's a human centipede instead of hooligans. And some bloke who keeps shouting, but barely any gore. Just watch the second one.
Ghostbusters 2- not in the same league as the original. But it's probably better than the reboot with some unfunny women.
Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice- I'm not sure if it's me not really being plugged into the franchise, or the film just being a bit wank.
An American Werewolf in Paris- has more the feel of a Road Trip-style comedy than anything to do with one of the best films of all time. It's probably not actually that terrible, but it's just not An American Werewolf in London.
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Post by harryburrows on Aug 13, 2018 10:10:19 GMT
Rise of the Footsoldier 3- two hours of Craig Fairbrass snorting coke and hitting people, with no other discernible plot. Just watch the first one and The Business, far better films. Green Street 2- for some reason you've got some Millwall and West Ham fans in an American jail. And the gang who win a big arranged fight get early release. Really. The Wicker Man remake with Nic Cage. As a horror film it's atrocious. As a comedy it's absolutely brilliant. Dune- if you watched Star Wars in a k-hole, you'd have Dune. The Matrix Reloaded- pretentious crap. At least the third one redeams it by being a straight action film. Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation- Leatherface is a transvestite. One that Renee Zellwegger and Matthew McConnaughey will want scrubbing from their CVs. Jason X- stop that, it's silly. I know Friday the 13th films aren't pieces of thought-provoking realism, but this really does 'jump the shark'. Zoolander 2 and Anchorman 2- both unfunny and unneccesary. Human Centipede 3- just like Green Street 2 it's set in an American jail. But this time there's a human centipede instead of hooligans. And some bloke who keeps shouting, but barely any gore. Just watch the second one. Ghostbusters 2- not in the same league as the original. But it's propbably better than the reboot with some unfunny women. Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice- I'm not sure if it's me not really being plugged into the franchise, or the film just being a bit wank. An American Werewolf in Paris- has more the feel of a Road Trip-style comedy than anything to do with one of the best films of all time. Shame about Dune , I read this brilliant book 45 years ago highly recommended for anyone who reads science fiction
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Post by thevoid on Aug 13, 2018 10:12:13 GMT
Rise of the Footsoldier 3- two hours of Craig Fairbrass snorting coke and hitting people, with no other discernible plot. Just watch the first one and The Business, far better films. Green Street 2- for some reason you've got some Millwall and West Ham fans in an American jail. And the gang who win a big arranged fight get early release. Really. The Wicker Man remake with Nic Cage. As a horror film it's atrocious. As a comedy it's absolutely brilliant. Dune- if you watched Star Wars in a k-hole, you'd have Dune. The Matrix Reloaded- pretentious crap. At least the third one redeams it by being a straight action film. Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation- Leatherface is a transvestite. One that Renee Zellwegger and Matthew McConnaughey will want scrubbing from their CVs. Jason X- stop that, it's silly. I know Friday the 13th films aren't pieces of thought-provoking realism, but this really does 'jump the shark'. Zoolander 2 and Anchorman 2- both unfunny and unneccesary. Human Centipede 3- just like Green Street 2 it's set in an American jail. But this time there's a human centipede instead of hooligans. And some bloke who keeps shouting, but barely any gore. Just watch the second one. Ghostbusters 2- not in the same league as the original. But it's propbably better than the reboot with some unfunny women. Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice- I'm not sure if it's me not really being plugged into the franchise, or the film just being a bit wank. An American Werewolf in Paris- has more the feel of a Road Trip-style comedy than anything to do with one of the best films of all time. Shame about Dune , I read this brilliant book 45 years ago highly recommended for anyone who reads science fiction I think there's a mini-series that's closer to the books and probably makes a bit more sense. Without reading the books (I haven't), the film is unfathomable.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 13, 2018 10:32:41 GMT
After much deliberation the winner of "The Worst Film I've Ever Watched" is.....The Hunger Games.
Even the wife agreed with me.
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Post by RichieBarkerOut! on Aug 13, 2018 10:47:05 GMT
I endured Will Smith's Seven Pounds on a plane flight once. I think I should have battled my insomnia instead.
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Post by elystokie on Aug 13, 2018 10:58:24 GMT
Watched LaLa Land last year (I think!) on a plane, I'd vaguely heard of it so gave it a shot, load of crap, won Oscars apparently :/
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Post by musik on Aug 13, 2018 11:04:02 GMT
After much deliberation the winner of "The Worst Film I've Ever Watched" is.....The Hunger Games. Even the wife agreed with me. Is that a film? I thought it was many episodes. In Sweden, especially amongst writers, that one is very popular, the most popular of all actually. I've never seen it. What is it about? Sounds like a cannibal theme, to me. I have friends saying it's the best they've ever seen and that I have to see it! 🤔
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Post by thequietman on Aug 13, 2018 11:33:08 GMT
Rise of the Footsoldier 3- two hours of Craig Fairbrass snorting coke and hitting people, with no other discernible plot. Just watch the first one and The Business, far better films. Green Street 2- for some reason you've got some Millwall and West Ham fans in an American jail. And the gang who win a big arranged fight get early release. Really. The Wicker Man remake with Nic Cage. As a horror film it's atrocious. As a comedy it's absolutely brilliant. Dune- if you watched Star Wars in a k-hole, you'd have Dune. The Matrix Reloaded- pretentious crap. At least the third one redeams it by being a straight action film. Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation- Leatherface is a transvestite. One that Renee Zellwegger and Matthew McConnaughey will want scrubbing from their CVs. Jason X- stop that, it's silly. I know Friday the 13th films aren't pieces of thought-provoking realism, but this really does 'jump the shark'. Zoolander 2 and Anchorman 2- both unfunny and unneccesary. Human Centipede 3- just like Green Street 2 it's set in an American jail. But this time there's a human centipede instead of hooligans. And some bloke who keeps shouting, but barely any gore. Just watch the second one. Ghostbusters 2- not in the same league as the original. But it's propbably better than the reboot with some unfunny women. Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice- I'm not sure if it's me not really being plugged into the franchise, or the film just being a bit wank. An American Werewolf in Paris- has more the feel of a Road Trip-style comedy than anything to do with one of the best films of all time. Shame about Dune , I read this brilliant book 45 years ago highly recommended for anyone who reads science fiction Just re-reading the Dune series now. Hadn't read them for years. Finished Children ... just starting God Emperor ... Marvellous stuff. For anyone who hadn't read the first book, I can see the film would be confusing. For anyone who had read it, it's cringeworthy. A Dino D Horrendous production, I believe.
Independence Day? America Saves The World (Again). I hate that sort of thing but it's ok. Not the worst, out there certainly.
Hard to single out one worst film, but most American teen films would rank up there for me. Or cash-in second films (Blues Brothers 2000 etc.)
The best? Merry Christmas Mr Lawrence, Goodbye Mr Chips (Robert Donat original), Slapshot, Leningrad Cowboys Go America. I could watch any of those over and over.
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Post by harryburrows on Aug 13, 2018 11:36:53 GMT
Shame about Dune , I read this brilliant book 45 years ago highly recommended for anyone who reads science fiction Just re-reading the Dune series now. Hadn't read them for years. Finished Children ... just starting God Emperor ... Marvellous stuff. For anyone who hadn't read the first book, I can see the film would be confusing. For anyone who had read it, it's cringeworthy. A Dino D Horrendous production, I believe. Independence Day? America Saves The World (Again). I hate that sort of thing but it's ok. Not the worst, out there certainly. Hard to single out one worst film, but most American teen films would rank up there for me. Or cash-in second films (Blues Brothers 2000 etc.) The best? Merry Christmas Mr Lawrence, Goodbye Mr Chips (Robert Donat original), Slapshot, Leningrad Cowboys Go America. I could watch any of those over and over.
Sounds like a good idea , I never normally reread books but the worse my memory gets the more likely I am to do that
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Post by noustie on Aug 13, 2018 12:57:59 GMT
‘The Skin I Live In’
Antonio Banderas plays a plastic surgeon whose wife is mutilated in a car crash and he tried to develop a fake skin for her. When his wife sees her reflection though before he has finished she jumps out the window. Their daughter then takes medication for depression and at a wedding goes to sleep with a bloke called Vincent but then freaks out so he hits her and runs off.
When she comes too she tells her dad she’d been raped by Vicente so her dad kidnaps him, drugs him and starts reassigning his gender. The daughter then jumps out the window like her mum’s death.
To keep the experiment secret he sacks all the servants apart from Marilla who is his real mum but he doesn’t know because her employers at the time adopted him but let her raise him so he thinks she’s his nanny. A fella turns up who turns out to be Robert’s brother that he doesn’t know about (Marilla was a dirty) and he rapes Vicente (now Vera) so Robert kills him because Robert too has been shagging Vera because he/she looks like his dead wife. Vicente shakes off his drug addiction long enough to remember who he really is and kills Robert and Marilla.
Vicente goes back to the dress shop of his mother and she accepts him back with barely a question raised such as ‘where’s your cock gone?’. As a much needed happy ending though he can now pursue the love of his life shop assistant who previously wasn’t interested because she’s a lesbian.
I swear down Google it – it gets great reviews on Rotten Tomatoes
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Post by chigstoke on Aug 13, 2018 14:56:49 GMT
Arrival, came out in 2016.
All my mates seemed to have thought it was okay, but by fucking God what a boring film. Big fuck off alien drop pods/ships have landed on earth, and it requires a linguist and a physicist to assist in finding out what these aliens wants
(Amy Adams and Jeremy Renner)
Completely bypassing the advice of many scientists in actual real life of not to talk to aliens because it could have disastrous consequences, these two fucking idiots and their team go and try to talk to the aliens, seemingly this must have bypassed the people working on the film. This goes on for 3 days till we find out, oh shit, this weird language they spell in knows what will happen in the future, and it just so happens to know China are going to fuck shit up and nuke everything to destroy the aliens.
The linguist manages to speak to the Chinese president and get the attack called off, by reciting words she said to her daughter who was dying. The world is saved, the Aliens go home and the Linguist and Physicist fall in love and more than likely shag for dear life.
Wank film.
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Post by chuffedstokie on Aug 13, 2018 15:07:03 GMT
Arrival, came out in 2016. All my mates seemed to have thought it was okay, but by fucking God what a boring film. Big fuck off alien drop pods/ships have landed on earth, and it requires a linguist and a physicist to assist in finding out what these aliens wants (Amy Adams and Jeremy Renner) Completely bypassing the advice of many scientists in actual real life of not to talk to aliens because it could have disastrous consequences, these two fucking idiots and their team go and try to talk to the aliens, seemingly this must have bypassed the people working on the film. This goes on for 3 days till we find out, oh shit, this weird language they spell in knows what will happen in the future, and it just so happens to know China are going to fuck shit up and nuke everything to destroy the aliens. The linguist manages to speak to the Chinese president and get the attack called off, by reciting words she said to her daughter who was dying. The world is saved, the Aliens go home and the Linguist and Physicist fall in love and more than likely shag for dear life. Wank film. I'll be giving it a miss then.
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Post by chuffedstokie on Aug 13, 2018 15:12:02 GMT
Quick question, what was the film that had that bloody huge earthworm in the desert causing mayhem. I watched it all the way through but by christ it was terrible. Bunch of folk stranded on a rock in the middle of nowhere. The rest escapes me.
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