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Post by Deleted on May 5, 2016 14:49:59 GMT
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Post by STOKEDinUSA on May 5, 2016 14:52:03 GMT
I buckled my belt and my helmet and I am looking forward to the ride! That kind of thing is only allowed in sex masochism Oh shoot, I accidentally posted this in the wrong place, I am also an avid member of another, more sinister forum!
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Post by STOKEDinUSA on May 5, 2016 14:52:49 GMT
Awesome! Quite the variation in the early years!
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Post by jezzascfc on May 5, 2016 15:46:16 GMT
Great choice of club - Stokies are the salt of the earth. I am Stoke born 'n' bred, but left at 18 (best part of 30 years ago now!) to go off to study and have since lived in several other countries (currently in Bermuda). For me no one matches us Stokies for our warmth, humour (sometimes quite dark, gallows humour, often aimed at ourselves) and passion for our team. It is a family you are joining, a big, dysfunctional, slightly disturbed, but bloody wonderful family.
Stephen Foster's books are a must, as is the Marvellous film. Digest as many youtube clips of games as you can - check out Matthews, Smith, Greenhoff, Hudson, Chamberlain, Stein, Thorne, Fuller...legends all. Get over for a game when you can, to truly soak up the atmosphere.
Welcome - there will be more downs than ups, I am sure, but I have no doubt you will enjoy the ride.
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Post by superpej on May 5, 2016 16:37:18 GMT
Now learn the club song
But remember the stoke version goes "I put my dick in her hand and she laughed no more"
enjoy the ride
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Post by Staffsoatcake on May 5, 2016 16:48:07 GMT
Never say Manchester United, just say (The Shit), every Stoke fan will know who you are talking about.
If you ever bump into a Port Vale fan, take a shower afterwards, they are the great unwashed.
Anyone who plays for Arsenal are Scum.
Our ex manager Tony Pulis is like Marmite, you either love him or hate him.
We are the 2nd. oldest Football club 1863, Notts County are the oldest.
If we ever meet Arsenal in a cup semi final, expect to lose, the powers that be will find a way of screwing Stoke over.
Our owners, the Coates family, they own Bet 365, are around the 20th. richest in the UK.
Our previous ground was the Victoria ground, it is sitting derelict, even now.
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Post by Deleted on May 5, 2016 17:37:49 GMT
Realise this place is full of knicker wetting attention seeking drama queens and understand it's run by facists and you'll be ok.
And accept that Sir Tony of the Scholes is our great and divine leader if for no other reason to piss of Mr Momo. (Who incidentally licks windows clean)
Finally develop an irrational persecution complex. Whine like a bitch when we lose (which is quite a bit) and accept all referees are bent bastards employed to fuck us over at any opportunity .
GD
Oh and never piss on an Arsenal fan when he's on fire. Also a Shit fan. And Cardiff. Plus Wolves. Possibly any team north of Leek. And South of Stone. And don't ever ever EVER (Chris Jericho reference for you) touch a Vale Fan
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Post by ohbottom on May 5, 2016 17:40:54 GMT
Don't be ashamed of saying "soccer". Soccer is NOT an Americanism. We used to call it soccer when I was a lad kicking a ball around the King Street Backs in Talke Pits 50 years ago. Sunday lunchtime we'd watch a programme called Star Soccer showing highlights from the previous day's games. Soccer is a perfectly acceptable name for the beautiful game, as are "footie" and "nogger".
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Post by leicspotter on May 5, 2016 20:56:16 GMT
Welcome! You have salt in the USA, I suggest you take most of what you read on here with a very large pinch! As already mentioned, Stephen Foster's (RIP) books are well worth a read as is "Tie me to the mast" and also, "Gordon Banks: A hero who could fly" which is actually set in the 'troubles' in Northern Ireland but still evokes something about what being a supporter is all about. Avoid Sir Stan's autobiography - Ghost written and tedious, it does the great man no justice at all. Most of all: enjoy the banter, bitchiness and camerarderie NB the pedants on here (me included) will constantly point out that you cannot spell or manage proper ENGLISH grammar...you can't help it, you're American I have ex-colleagues in Bowling Green, Ohio, who I am still trying to convert!
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Post by LDE76 on May 5, 2016 21:04:11 GMT
Never start a thread unless you're prepared for it to turn into a circular argument about Robert Huth and/or Philipp Wollscheid.
Including this one.
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Post by stokiejoe on May 5, 2016 21:11:23 GMT
Welcome Derek. As you have probably gathered we are an odd lot. We whinge and moan, often at each other, but heaven help anybody from outside who criticises a Stokie. You are probably aware that we are the second oldest professional club in the world, only Nottingham County are older. You may have seen a recommendation above to watch "Marvellous", please do, it's on YouTube, you will gain a good insight into our nature. Generally regarded to be a friendly lot so please join in.
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Post by VolvicStokie on May 5, 2016 22:40:07 GMT
Il run through a few things.
Port Vale don't matter.
We have history (on and off the field with Cardiff) and a load of other teams, but Cardiff have a special place in our heart. Search Stoke v Cardiff playoff on Google Enjoy!
We hate Man Utd Arsenal Arsene Wenger
Pretty much every referee in the league, especially Martin Atkinson.
I'm feeling tired now after the emotional roller coaster of a few paragraphs.
That'll do for now
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Post by kustokie on May 5, 2016 22:53:48 GMT
Il run through a few things. Port Vale don't matter. We have history (on and off the field with Cardiff) and a load of other teams, but Cardiff have a special place in our heart. Search Stoke v Cardiff playoff on Google Enjoy! We hate Man Utd Arsenal Arsene Wenger Pretty much every referee in the league, especially Martin Atkinson. I'm feeling tired now after the emotional roller coaster of a few paragraphs. That'll do for now As far as ref's go, Michael Oliver is the most despized. Clattenberg is tolerated.
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Post by chuffedstokie on May 5, 2016 23:11:18 GMT
How's all the feedback coming across STOKED. Are you getting the general sense of all things required to become a thoroughly absorbed Stokie. I've been at it for the thick end of 45 yrs and the possibilities for hating / moaning / whingeing / criticising in general are boundless. Don't be fooled though, just wait and see everything change when we score from a corner. You'll witness the potteries equivalent of the second coming. Or maybe a smiley if it's a sunny day. Stick with it, you know you want to.
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Post by Deleted on May 6, 2016 1:42:03 GMT
I posted yesterday suggesting that this is Chugga's ( he of the JoeinOz sofa scandal) latest wind up. It was removed... That suggests 2 things. 1...I was right. 2..Chugga is a Moderator...
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Post by kustokie on May 6, 2016 2:02:41 GMT
Hi Stoked (me again). By now you've mastered the basics of Geography, History and Psychology of the typical Stokie and it's time for the more advanced topic: how to speak properly in a pub. Swearing is expected to be understood and is basically the same as standard American swearing except Hell and Damn are perfectly acceptable (even my mother uses them and she was raised Catholic) Arse is preferred to ass and arsehole to asshole, however, the American versions are accepted in more sophisticated watering holes.
So here are the basics. Because of the geographical location: Lancashire and Merseyside to the NW, Yorkshire to the NE, Wolverhampton and Birmingham to the S, the Potteries dialect is a unique mixture influenced by all the surrounding locales.
We read bukes (not bucks) and luke (not luck) at people funny. "Aye up" is definitely preferred to "hello, how are you". "Ow rate?" Is also a common greeting - roughly translated it means "are you all alright?". Men and women are refered to as "mate" and "me duck" (not dook), respectively. Children are "kiddies", not "nippers", which scouse. The old English (pronounced Aude Ingleesh) version of you, thee, is still in common use. Instead of won't you should say "wunner". Similarly, "dunner" and "conner" are used instead of "don't" and "can't", respectively. We don't "talk", instead we "towk" and right is pronounced "rate". H is always silent. Our grammar gets a bit mixed up sometimes, so we tend say "learn" rather than "teach". So now you have a basic understanding and should be able to pronounce and understand the following:
"Aye up, me duck, ow come thee conner towk rate?" "Dunner, werrit we'll learn thee". Bonus points for translating "werrit", which you will read on here from time to time - especially when you are knicker wetting and you'll be advised to "dunner werrit". As mentioned previously, if you get too critical you will be advise to "f#ck &ff, up the Vale".
Others on here can probably add to your knowledge. When you visit, you should definitely, "Go up Hanley" on a Friday night for the experience of a life time (but dunner take your girl friend with thee!).
PS: One peace of advice. Don't ever, ever criticize Ryan Shawcross because he's a legend. Same goes for Jimmy Greenhoff, Sir Stan and Denis Smith. Similarly former manager Tony Waddington is a saint, but Tony Pulis is fair game with about 50% of Stoke supporters. The other 50% are waiting for the second (actually the third) coming of the "Great Capped One" and will advise you to "f#ck &ff, up the Vale"
Here endeth the lesson.
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Post by chuffedstokie on May 6, 2016 5:46:46 GMT
Arfur tow crate in staffy cher. Required reading, to assist with Kustokie's very sound and comprehensive summary. Still with us, Good man.
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Post by STOKEDinUSA on May 6, 2016 11:58:40 GMT
"Aye up, me duck, ow come thee conner towk rate?" "Dunner, werrit we'll learn thee". Bonus points for translating "werrit", which you will read on here from time to time - especially when you are knicker wetting and you'll be advised to "dunner werrit". As mentioned previously, if you get too critical you will be advise to "f#ck &ff, up the Vale". Here endeth the lesson. I feel like I just got tossed in the deep end, and I'm drowning. But I assume werrit translates to worry? "Hey girl, why can't you talk right? Don't worry we'll teach you." Ill do my best impression of a sponge and try to soak everything up!
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Post by muglump on May 6, 2016 12:26:31 GMT
"Aye up, me duck, ow come thee conner towk rate?" "Dunner, werrit we'll learn thee". Bonus points for translating "werrit", which you will read on here from time to time - especially when you are knicker wetting and you'll be advised to "dunner werrit". As mentioned previously, if you get too critical you will be advise to "f#ck &ff, up the Vale". Here endeth the lesson. I feel like I just got tossed in the deep end, and I'm drowning. But I assume werrit translates to worry? "Hey girl, why can't you talk right? Don't worry we'll teach you." Ill do my best impression of a sponge and try to soak everything up! Watch out or someone will make you take a course in advanced owd granddad piggot
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Post by Deleted on May 6, 2016 12:26:59 GMT
Soccer = NO - Football. EPL = NO - Prem 4 Quarters = NO - 2 halves. Tie = NO - Draw. Overtime = NO - added/ extra time. Quarterback = NO Goal Keeper. Wide receiver = NO - Wingers. Touch Down = NO - Goal. Extra Point = NO - Peno ? Offensive Coach = NO - Manager.
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Post by chuffedstokie on May 6, 2016 12:27:33 GMT
"Aye up, me duck, ow come thee conner towk rate?" "Dunner, werrit we'll learn thee". Bonus points for translating "werrit", which you will read on here from time to time - especially when you are knicker wetting and you'll be advised to "dunner werrit". As mentioned previously, if you get too critical you will be advise to "f#ck &ff, up the Vale". Here endeth the lesson. I feel like I just got tossed in the deep end, and I'm drowning. But I assume werrit translates to worry? "Hey girl, why can't you talk right? Don't worry we'll teach you." Ill do my best impression of a sponge and try to soak everything up! How to talk right in Staffordshire. Dead right with Worry. This is going well. Excellent work.
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Post by kustokie on May 6, 2016 12:39:49 GMT
"Aye up, me duck, ow come thee conner towk rate?" "Dunner, werrit we'll learn thee". Bonus points for translating "werrit", which you will read on here from time to time - especially when you are knicker wetting and you'll be advised to "dunner werrit". As mentioned previously, if you get too critical you will be advise to "f#ck &ff, up the Vale". Here endeth the lesson. I feel like I just got tossed in the deep end, and I'm drowning. But I assume werrit translates to worry? "Hey girl, why can't you talk right? Don't worry we'll teach you." Ill do my best impression of a sponge and try to soak everything up! Excellent 10/10
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Post by kustokie on May 6, 2016 12:41:21 GMT
Arfur tow crate in staffy cher. Required reading, to assist with Kustokie's very sound and comprehensive summary. Still with us, Good man. Aye, up Chuffed. Do you still 'ave a copy of that buke? I used to, but I conner find eet.
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Post by kustokie on May 6, 2016 12:45:37 GMT
Soccer = NO - Football. EPL = NO - Prem 4 Quarters = NO - 2 halves. Tie = NO - Draw. Overtime = NO - added/ extra time. Quarterback = NO Goal Keeper. Wide receiver = NO - Wingers. Touch Down = NO - Goal. Extra Point = NO - Peno ? Offensive Coach = NO - Manager. Correction - quarter back in football or point guard in basketball are more analogous to #10 or CM. Center in basketball = striker
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Post by jezzascfc on May 6, 2016 14:10:29 GMT
Get yersen sum 'o' them "Ebb and Flo" cartoons from the Sent'null to learn ow fer tow crate 'n' have a bit of a laff 'n' all. Dunner werrit, kidda, it'll be owrate once tha's got sum bacun 'n' chayze oatcakes (with brine sauce not red, mind) dine thee - rate grand snappin'! We'll make a neckender of yer yet, me duck!
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Post by chuffedstokie on May 6, 2016 14:41:25 GMT
Arfur tow crate in staffy cher. Required reading, to assist with Kustokie's very sound and comprehensive summary. Still with us, Good man. Aye, up Chuffed. Do you still 'ave a copy of that buke? I used to, but I conner find eet. Yup. Got to find eet nah.
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Post by PotterLog on May 6, 2016 15:02:57 GMT
Soccer = NO - Football. EPL = NO - Prem 4 Quarters = NO - 2 halves. Tie = NO - Draw. Overtime = NO - added/ extra time. Quarterback = NO Goal Keeper. Wide receiver = NO - Wingers. Touch Down = NO - Goal. Extra Point = NO - Peno ? Offensive Coach = NO - Manager. Your post reminded me of that NBC advert from a couple of seasons ago, always worth a repost:
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Post by STOKEDinUSA on May 6, 2016 15:31:13 GMT
Get yersen sum 'o' them "Ebb and Flo" cartoons from the Sent'null to learn ow fer tow crate 'n' have a bit of a laff 'n' all. Dunner werrit, kidda, it'll be owrate once tha's got sum bacun 'n' chayze oatcakes (with brine sauce not red, mind) dine thee - rate grand snappin'! We'll make a neckender of yer yet, me duck! I surprisingly understood all of this. You guys must be good teachers!
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Post by stokefc on May 6, 2016 16:29:24 GMT
isn,t me duck more of an east midlands twang round here its just duck aint it
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Post by superpej on May 6, 2016 16:36:39 GMT
Cameron is complete shit and should be fooked off. he messes up in every position he plays!!
Stokedintheusa - u just have to get used to the idea that which ever player you think is good and helps the team someone else will think the complete opposite and a "discussion" will then follow - you just have to get used to it.
Incidentally you need to check out who superpej is and when he played for Stoke.
For a clue he had a couple of international appearance for England.
No it wasn't an own goal in the game against Scotland - it was going in anyway
And no he is not the moody git referred to in the Terry Conroy autobiography "you don't remember me do you"
Bing a Stokie for life you have to remember the past to cope with the present.
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