What we need and don't need for next season - Oatcake style

[AlbertTatlock]

According to the Posters on this site, here's just some of the things we should get rid of and some of the things we need for next season.

Don't need - Shaq, Diouf, Given, any injuries, the pitch watering, Crouch, Adam, Wooly, Jacob, open corners, wrights pies, queues to get into the ground, the pitch watering at half time, anyone from Sunderland or Norwich or Villa, never scoring from a corner, intensive training, Hughes?

Do need - better boots and studs, £100k a week for Arnie, a 20 goal a season goal scorer, Jack back, a right back, a left back, a defensive midfielder, a right winger, Yarmolenko, Konoplyanka, Rafa, Eddie Howe, commanding centre back, creative midfielder, the corners filling in, cheaper pies (that don't burn the lining off your mouth), automated ticket entrance, better stewards, better speakers, better screen, scantily clad cheer leaders (that's my idea ), a fitness coach, a defensive coach, a corner kick coach, Pizza (it worked at Leicester).

Feel free to add your own

Gouranga.

[Deleted]

Some thing called pace?

I've heard it mentioned before with players like Owen, Ronaldo and Sanchez but they can't have had it because I'm pretty sure it was only invented this season by Leicester?

In fact I'm sure it's something that's only been used in football this year.

So....on that basis.

Usain Bolt.

[chuffedstokie]

Personal cattle prods. Motivation uses (varied).

[AlbertTatlock]

May 1, 2016 20:36:28 GMT @theloony1 said:

Some thing called pace?

I've heard it mentioned before with players like Owen, Ronaldo and Sanchez but they can't have had it because I'm pretty sure it was only invented this season by Leicester?

In fact I'm sure it's something that's only been used in football this year.

So....on that basis.

Usain Bolt.

Someone told me there's a guy at the Stoke who's a striker called Mama and he's one of the fastest players in the premier league, I can't recall seeing him start up front much this season though, I thought he was a defensive right midfielder.

Gouranga.

[cobhamstokey]

Some steel to go with our technical skills.
A striker who's got all attributes pace, strength, good in the air / holding the ball up and goals.
Better set pieces.
Arni.
Better luck with injuries.

[AlbertTatlock]

May 1, 2016 20:43:17 GMT cobhamstokey said:

Some steel to go with our technical skills.
A striker who's got all attributes pace, strength, good in the air / holding the ball up and goals.
Better set pieces.
Arni.
Better luck with injuries.

I'm not sure which you think we need and which you don't think we need??

Gouranga.

[chuffedstokie]

Just thought of another one, shame it's illegal.

[chuffedstokie]

Just thought of another one, shame it's illegal.

[Bojan Mackey]

A separate board for those who pine for the past.

[crapslinger]

Proper CB who does not wear gloves in April

Decent Goalkeeping back up.

Younger full back cover.

Pace

A striker the manager trusts to play in the role he bought him for.

Players committed to the cause.

Arnie to stay.

No more injury prone players.

[Deleted]

We need this to appear automatically after any "we should get rid of Shaq/Arnie/Bojan/Wolly/Shawcross" threads

[march4]

Don't need; Shaq, Imbula, Joselu.

Do need; Kirchhoff and a couple of similarly powerful players.

Do need; hard-working lone striker who is lightning fast and has an eye for goal.

[Deleted]

[Deleted]

Fuck me. We got it this season

[cheeesfreeex]

God forfend opinions.
You can't summarize the various thoughts of various folks in here.
There's no consensus, just folks's thoughts.
Dissent is allowed.

[Gods]

Need a decent start don't we?

3 points from the first possible 18 this time around left us without momentum and in catch-up mode.

[chuffedstokie]

What do we need.

We really need to keep evolving.
We really need to attract the right players.
We really need our owners.

We don't need some of our players.
We don't need a bucket load of injuries.

We really need to.......,as said at the beginning, add as you like, but we need to always remain STOKE.

If I could get on that field and make a difference I would, I can't so I won't we've got people to do that for us.
Just wish they'd do it a bit better a bit more often.

[Pugsley]

40 points
Zero expectations
Excessive balloon chasing
long throws
men in cages
minimum 4 centre halves on the pitch at any given time


Retro is in...

[scfcwebby]

Dont need Wolly

[Deleted]

Need

A media liaison officer (who knows the BBC and Sky Pundits)
A car park (big one with multiple exists)
A Wind Machine (now the corners getting filled something has to blow the ball off the corners)
An optician for the strikers
Blinkers for the midfield (so they don't pass sideways)
Nerve tablets for the fans
40 points
and an FA Cup

[chuffedstokie]

May 1, 2016 21:47:48 GMT rivival said:

Need

A media liaison officer (who knows the BBC and Sky Pundits)
A car park (big one with multiple exists)
A Wind Machine (now the corners getting filled something has to blow the ball off the corners)
An optician for the strikers
Blinkers for the midfield (so they don't pass sideways)
Nerve tablets for the fans
40 points
and an FA Cup

I forgot about the FA Cup, ta.

[mrcoke]

Nice OP AT, I suggest we use it to start the end of next seasons disappointments thread. 

[StokieNath]

May 1, 2016 21:02:18 GMT march4 said:

Don't need; Shaq, Imbula, Joselu.

Do need; Kirchhoff and a couple of similarly powerful players.

Do need; hard-working lone striker who is lightning fast and has an eye for goal.

I pissed me sen at this

[samba :)]

May 1, 2016 20:50:24 GMT Bojan Mackey said:

A separate board for those who pine for the past.

It's called 1863

[samba :)]

We need will up front

[swampySCFC]

We need to stop pissing around at home. And we need to do better than losing 4-0 at Lpool 3-0 at the S 3-0 at Leicester etc etc.

[samba :)]

May 1, 2016 22:27:56 GMT swampySCFC said:

We need to stop pissing around at home. And we need to do better than losing 4-0 at Lpool 3-0 at the S 3-0 at Leicester etc etc.

why when did we lose 4-0 at Liverpool...we scored from a set piece ball into the box

[loosestools]

Need: A good start to the season
Need: Benteke

[jezzascfc]

Need:
- a striker, a real striker, one who, you know, scores goals 'n stuff
- pace, pace and more pace, but no hale
- a left footed centre back, who is tough as teak, fairly quick and decent enough on the ball (off you go, Carto!)
- Marko to use a bic on a new contract pronto (sort it out, Scholesy!)
- more homegrown squad members
- at least one under-21 player breaking through
- 35+ games from our captain
- some new songs
- increased intensity of support at the ground for home games
- a cup final

Don't need:
- fat Scottish midfielders who can't tackle
- perma-tan bald Irish midfielders with grandma issues
- strikers on the wing
- big centre halves who wear gloves (bloody girl's blouse)....just stop it!
- beanpole strikers who are past their sell by date
- passing it around amongst the back four to no great effect
- THAT Muniesa song
- back, hamstring and knee injuries.......NO MORE PLEASE!
- relegation.......shush!!!

[ohbottom]

Win the premier league.
Anything less is abject failure and the whole club should fook off up the Vale.