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Post by borat on Jan 12, 2016 10:39:58 GMT
Interesting thread. Well done to everyone opening up, it shows we are not alone. What I am interested in, is people who suffer with depression who have posted on this thread, how was your childhood/any trauma in your life? Bit about me, suffer with depression for too many years, had various counselling courses on NHS, had CBT courses x3 private and EMDR course private. Various medicines. Nothing seems to help but it does help me understand how I feel. Suffered trauma as a child and suffered traumatic events at work including suicides. My childhood was ok in parts but poor in others. Parents split up when I was 2 and sadly my Mum went out with a complete prick, he was a pisshead, he used to piss on the sofa EVERY WEEKEND cause he had that much beer he couldn't control it, he used to twat my brother (but not me). He used to spend all his wages in the pub from friday to sunday. My biggest problem from childhood is i wasn't shown any love by any of my parents, they did what they could providing for me but I was never cuddled or complimented which affected me ( I know this doesn't affect everybody the same). I had a rough house because of my step dad, my mum eventually got rid of him when I was 15 but he'd spent 13 years dragging us down, the house got better when he left. My Brother turned out an heroin addict and my Mum had a drink problem, so yeah I've had a rough life which has contributed to my depression.
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Post by nik80 on Jan 12, 2016 11:10:09 GMT
I don't know whether reading this has helped or made me feel worse, sitting here with tears in my eyes now... Over the last three weeks it feels like my whole life and livelihood's been taken away. I've been here before but the last couple of years I thought I was rebuilding for a future, now it feels like I've got it all to do yet again, whilst simultaneously mourning a life I was happy with that's ended suddenly. Just getting harder to accept.
I do agree with people praising the benefits of exercise though, if you can muster up the strength to get out there then it really does (or at least for me) give you a more positive outlook. As somebody else said and I can't agree more, on a long run you do have time to think but your thoughts just seem much less clouded in loss and much clearer about what necessary life changes need to be made.
First time I've seen this thread, the oatcake world does seem to move in funny ways at times.
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Post by bathstoke on Jan 12, 2016 12:40:18 GMT
Hearing all your lives so far guys & can see why you're all down. Anyone can & will get depressed, given the right circumstances, so no shame considering all you've been through. Keep the faithXx
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Post by overthehills on Jan 12, 2016 12:41:18 GMT
[quote author=" borat" source="My childhood was ok in parts but poor in others. Parents split up when I was 2 and sadly my Mum went out with a complete prick, he was a pisshead, he used to piss on the sofa EVERY WEEKEND cause he had that much beer he couldn't control it, he used to twat my brother (but not me). He used to spend all his wages in the pub from friday to sunday. My biggest problem from childhood is i wasn't shown any love by any of my parents, they did what they could providing for me but I was never cuddled or complimented which affected me ( I know this doesn't affect everybody the same). I had a rough house because of my step dad, my mum eventually got rid of him when I was 15 but he'd spent 13 years dragging us down, the house got better when he left. My Brother turned out an heroin addict and my Mum had a drink problem, so yeah I've had a rough life which has contributed to my depression.[/quote] OK I can relate to a lot of that and I know how much this can affect someone in later life. During one of my CBT courses I have had, the therapist asked me about my childhood, which was similar to yours and she started to work on my inner self (also called inner child). Lot of my depression is related to my childhood trauma and I have read books/ researched online about the inner self/child. It can't fix what's happened but gives you understanding and the tools to help you move forward. Other areas that have been recommended to me to help are: relaxation exercises and breathing exercises. Example: Colour breathing: when feeling stressed, visualise the colour blue. Visualise breathing in that blue calm, and breathing out red tension. Hope this helps.
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Post by borat on Jan 12, 2016 13:02:07 GMT
yeah cheers, It goes to show that depression can also affect people who've had brilliant upbringings. Take my old best mate for example. He had everything as a child and his parents showered him with love and affection too. He always used to say " I'm so lucky have a great Mum and Dad". I used to be jealous as a teenager. But now he's an adult he's gone off the rails big time, he's been in a nut house twice, locked up x amount of times and his mental health is that bad he's permanently on the sick. He's a shadow of his former self and he can't remember anything of our friendship growing up, shame really.
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Post by Deleted on Jan 13, 2016 1:14:30 GMT
I don't know whether reading this has helped or made me feel worse, sitting here with tears in my eyes now... Over the last three weeks it feels like my whole life and livelihood's been taken away. I've been here before but the last couple of years I thought I was rebuilding for a future, now it feels like I've got it all to do yet again, whilst simultaneously mourning a life I was happy with that's ended suddenly. Just getting harder to accept. I do agree with people praising the benefits of exercise though, if you can muster up the strength to get out there then it really does (or at least for me) give you a more positive outlook. As somebody else said and I can't agree more, on a long run you do have time to think but your thoughts just seem much less clouded in loss and much clearer about what necessary life changes need to be made. First time I've seen this thread, the oatcake world does seem to move in funny ways at times. Life always moves in peaks and troughs, good and bad. Let it be how you pick yourself back up that defines you.
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Post by heavysoul on Jan 13, 2016 13:20:02 GMT
Without sounding patronising so glad you guys feel you can talk about this. Keep talking guys!!!
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Post by Skankmonkey on Jan 13, 2016 14:54:44 GMT
Without sounding patronising so glad you guys feel you can talk about this. Keep talking guys!!! I agree. This is a very useful thread. Sharing experiences can help others recognise and, possibly for the first time, put a name to their own collection of symptoms. There will be people reading this who previously thought that they were alone in their suffering. They aren't. Undiagnosed depression affected me for 20 years from my teens. Recognising the problem is the first step to getting well or, at least, becoming better able to manage the illness. After I was diagnosed I struggled with various treatments for another 5 years until a course of CBT gave me the tools I needed to take some control back. That was about 18 years ago. I have my ups and downs but I've been in control ever since.
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Post by harryburrows on Jan 13, 2016 15:15:41 GMT
As Thoreau famously said " most men lead lives of quiet desperation and go to their graves with the song still in them " Men generally have a problem recognising these issues and dealing with them
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Post by Skankmonkey on Jan 13, 2016 15:23:54 GMT
I notice a couple of posters have mentioned they suffer currently with OCD. You have my sympathy. That insidious little beauty deserves a bloody thread of its own. It's like whack a mole! You manage to get some control over one aspect of it and it quietly pops up in another manifestation. A miserable illness. I don't envy you. I only get it mildly now and again these days.
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Post by Deleted on Jan 14, 2016 3:59:54 GMT
Referring back what I said, is it worth going back to the doctors? The itching and rash is clearly depression it can't be anything else?!? It's 4am and it's woken me up
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Post by Deleted on Jan 14, 2016 4:35:26 GMT
There's a huge thread on GOT here with similar contributions. Strength to those fighting demons and personal battles. Never give up.
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Post by NassauDave on Jan 14, 2016 4:59:02 GMT
Good for everyone on this thread for speaking up.
This is extremely important.
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Post by Skankmonkey on Jan 14, 2016 6:43:21 GMT
Referring back what I said, is it worth going back to the doctors? The itching and rash is clearly depression it can't be anything else?!? It's 4am and it's woken me up Yes mate. If you are worried, I'd say definitely go and see the doctor and explain your concerns. I just re-read your post. It can throw up all sorts of physical symptoms and odd unexplained illness. In my case I had crippling back trouble for 12 months before I was eventually diagnosed with depression. I've had no back trouble since that time. Good luck. Take any help that is on offer. If he/she prescribes antidepressants you might also have a couple of support appointments for the first week or two. They are important to see if the tablets suit you, so don't miss them. Keep the exercise up and avoid alcohol. Hope it works out well for you and you are feeling better soon!
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Post by Deleted on Jan 15, 2016 0:06:04 GMT
Anti-depresents are useful sometimes but from my experience they paper over the cracks for some people. They can also lead to numbness.
The key is to understand the cause. Depression is actually a defence mechanism, seems counterintuitive, but it is protecting the sufferer from something within. For some death is more preferable than facing these feelings. Reduce or stop any drugs you are using to "self-medicate" ie alcohol and cannabis etc as this will increase the likelihood of self-harming. If you have an addiction seek professional help first as those physically addicted to alcohol may have seizures or DT's of they stop abruptly (huge influxes this time of year in A&E for new year resolutions and being unaware of the extent of their alcohol use).
Currently reading a book on Brief Psychodynamic Therapy. It suggests causes of mental illness lie in suppressed and repressed emotions. We learn in childhood that close relationships lead to harm, emotional or otherwise, and this gives rise to powerful emotions, often towards our care givers. This generates conflict. When these powerful emotions are triggered we develop anxiety symptoms in our bodies to protect ourselves from feeling/facing this conflicting emotion. These then triggers defences, such as depression, a second layer of detachment to protect ourselves from feeling this trigger emotion. Therapy involves patients recognising that they are using defences and to give them up, learn to regulate their anxiety and experience the emotion and explore it.
Having had depression myself, six months off work at one point, I am slowly learning to understand myself better. My trigger emotion seems to be anger that I fail to express, internalise and then develop a punishing relationship with myself resulting in depression.
My advice to anyone who is depressed is to explore these feelings in talking therapies. They all have their benefits and weaknesses, but when you talk to an other, you face these feelings.
To manage any associated anxiety practice mindfulness. This grounds you in the present moment, helping you to be calm, but also understand that the relationship you are in causing you problems is not the one that gave rise to the trigger emotion in the first place, but rather the one in childhood. It is not the emotion causing your suffering but your defences to avoid experiencing it. This is what we learn in childhood and if unresolved carry throughout our lives.
Mindfulness generates both body and mind awareness. Such awareness allows us to detect, explore and manage painful feelings, tackling our sense of helplessness when highly anxious, making us helpful to ourselves.
Tactical breathing is useful: breath in through your nose to the count of 4 and breath out for count of 7 through your mouth whenever you feel anxiety, anger or distress. You reduce the oxygen in your blood stream, slowing your heart and breathing, stopping the adrenalin production triggered by the threat of the trigger emotion. Continue to breath in this fashion until you feel composed and calm. Stick with it, focus on the technique, it is highly effective.
There is no miracle one off cure. These things take time but are worth it if you value yourself and your happiness. Tablets may offer respite but long-term talking therapies can help to not just cut the dandelion stem and leaves but remove the root also. Use the episode as a path to greater self-understanding and freedom from suffering. See it as a positive learning experience.
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Post by borat on Jan 15, 2016 3:01:15 GMT
Funnily enough my mood has picked up the last 3-4 days but like people have already said that's depression for you. Boredom triggers my depression so as long as I'm physically or mentally active, I'm usually OK. If I'm alone for hours and hours that also triggers me off. Anti-depressants have definitely made me feel numb in the past, neither happy nor sad at any time, it's a strange way to be when your like that but I suppose it's better than suicidal thoughts. I try my best to think positive as often as I can, everybody has a different outlook on life, mine used to be negative and it's so hard trying to change your thought process. Such a complicated subject lol.
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Post by Skankmonkey on Jan 15, 2016 12:49:41 GMT
Funnily enough my mood has picked up the last 3-4 days but like people have already said that's depression for you. Boredom triggers my depression so as long as I'm physically or mentally active, I'm usually OK. If I'm alone for hours and hours that also triggers me off. Anti-depressants have definitely made me feel numb in the past, neither happy nor sad at any time, it's a strange way to be when your like that but I suppose it's better than suicidal thoughts. I try my best to think positive as often as I can, everybody has a different outlook on life, mine used to be negative and it's so hard trying to change your thought process. Such a complicated subject lol. I'm glad you're feeling a bit better borat. My advice would be to try and keep yourself busy mate. Don't give yourself chance to dwell on things. Good luck!
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Post by Skankmonkey on Jan 16, 2016 11:14:41 GMT
BBC NEWS Mental Health Survey 15/01/16
The survey asked 5,000 adults and found 26% said they had received a mental health illness diagnosis.
Depression was the most frequently reported mental illness, with nearly one in five (19%) people saying they had been diagnosed with the condition.
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Post by borat on Jan 16, 2016 12:23:20 GMT
BBC NEWS Mental Health Survey 15/01/16
The survey asked 5,000 adults and found 26% said they had received a mental health illness diagnosis.
Depression was the most frequently reported mental illness, with nearly one in five (19%) people saying they had been diagnosed with the condition.
I can guarantee it's higher than that. Men, especially the older generation deny they have depression. It's a proud thing, when my Mum left my dad 30 years ago he said he felt like hanging hiself to my mum but denied it when I asked him.
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Post by Skankmonkey on Jan 16, 2016 12:44:00 GMT
BBC NEWS Mental Health Survey 15/01/16
The survey asked 5,000 adults and found 26% said they had received a mental health illness diagnosis.
Depression was the most frequently reported mental illness, with nearly one in five (19%) people saying they had been diagnosed with the condition.
I can guarantee it's higher than that. Men, especially the older generation deny they have depression. It's a proud thing, when my Mum left my dad 30 years ago he said he felt like hanging hiself to my mum but denied it when I asked him.
That's right. Also I reckon a good percentage of problem drinkers are self-medicating for undiagnosed depression.
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Post by djduncanjames on Jan 16, 2016 12:46:48 GMT
I can guarantee it's higher than that. Men, especially the older generation deny they have depression. It's a proud thing, when my Mum left my dad 30 years ago he said he felt like hanging hiself to my mum but denied it when I asked him.
That's right. Also I reckon a good HUGE percentage of problem drinkers are self-medicating for undiagnosed depression.
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Post by borat on Mar 14, 2016 11:02:29 GMT
Just an update, I'm much better now, I've gone back to work which has totally got me out my slump (which is amazing considering I facking hate it), still have my days but it's few and far between. It's something I've had for 18 years so it's a battle I'll live with for the rest of my life. As long as Stoke are doing well I won't get depressed ;)
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Post by bathstoke on Mar 14, 2016 11:49:34 GMT
Just an update, I'm much better now, I've gone back to work which has totally got me out my slump (which is amazing considering I facking hate it), still have my days but it's few and far between. It's something I've had for 18 years so it's a battle I'll live with for the rest of my life. As long as Stoke are doing well I won't get depressed Long may you not be depressed & here's hoping for a bit of ecstasy
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Post by Deleted on Mar 14, 2016 15:08:31 GMT
Just an update, I'm much better now, I've gone back to work which has totally got me out my slump (which is amazing considering I facking hate it), still have my days but it's few and far between. It's something I've had for 18 years so it's a battle I'll live with for the rest of my life. As long as Stoke are doing well I won't get depressed Glad to have read this at the end of a touching thread. Wishing you the very best of luck for the future.
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Post by southstanddan on Mar 15, 2016 13:19:11 GMT
Ok so here goes...
I’m currently being treated for depression, anxiety and PTSD and although I’m quite new into the recovery process the mass of thoughts that run through my head have meant that i couldn’t understand any single part of what was happening to me. This morning however whilst speaking to the CPN i have managed to kind of explain slightly to myself at least what’s happening...
We all have things that get us down, maybe from childhood, maybe from war, maybe a traumatic event in the recent past. When i was a young 20 year old with money in my pocket, birds on the go, holidays, nights out and not a care in the world my head was say 95% positive thoughts to 5% negative. There was not enough space in my head for any more negative thoughts. This kept my feelings and emotions in check.
Now I’m massively down. I would say I’m 10% positive (my son) and 90% negative (finances, poor marriage, loss of driving licence, career going nowhere, injured and so on). I don’t know what to do about the negative factors in my head but mentally i can now see some sort of line in my head that needs to move to the positive side. I don’t know how I’m going to sort any of this mess out but just working out the above had made me understand or picture better what’s going on up there.
Hopefully one of the readers might just gain a little bit of understanding from this or maybe help them clear up their thoughts a little. It certainly helped me today.
I have lost too many friends to this and although i dont know any of you i class us as part of a family (albeit through mutual support of a football club) so even though i dont even know how to sort my own head out please shout up if you need to speak to someone.
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Post by blurtonboy on Mar 15, 2016 17:20:54 GMT
When i started this thread about 10 weeks ago, I did not know , what replies this thread would have.
Thanks too all for bearing their souls or even trying too give advice.
Why did I start it ? Well i have no idea, just been looking round other fans forums, some of the longest threads were about this subject, but I saw no thread on here.
If this thread has helped people of the Oatcake , too take the time to explain how they feel, to talk, get things off their chest, without feeling demonised or a loss of feeling of self worth, then what are forums for?
We are all in unison together on here, we are Stoke fans, we look after each other.
Keep fighting people, we will win this fight together.
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Post by Skankmonkey on Mar 18, 2016 15:46:53 GMT
Just an update, I'm much better now, I've gone back to work which has totally got me out my slump (which is amazing considering I facking hate it), still have my days but it's few and far between. It's something I've had for 18 years so it's a battle I'll live with for the rest of my life. As long as Stoke are doing well I won't get depressed Well done borat ! Stick with it mate and you will gain more and more control in the end. Each new day is a fresh start, just keep getting back on the horse. Good luck!
PS Perhaps best not to rely on Stoke though!
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Post by Skankmonkey on Mar 18, 2016 15:55:59 GMT
Ok so here goes... I’m currently being treated for depression, anxiety and PTSD and although I’m quite new into the recovery process the mass of thoughts that run through my head have meant that i couldn’t understand any single part of what was happening to me. This morning however whilst speaking to the CPN i have managed to kind of explain slightly to myself at least what’s happening... We all have things that get us down, maybe from childhood, maybe from war, maybe a traumatic event in the recent past. When i was a young 20 year old with money in my pocket, birds on the go, holidays, nights out and not a care in the world my head was say 95% positive thoughts to 5% negative. There was not enough space in my head for any more negative thoughts. This kept my feelings and emotions in check. Now I’m massively down. I would say I’m 10% positive (my son) and 90% negative (finances, poor marriage, loss of driving licence, career going nowhere, injured and so on). I don’t know what to do about the negative factors in my head but mentally i can now see some sort of line in my head that needs to move to the positive side. I don’t know how I’m going to sort any of this mess out but just working out the above had made me understand or picture better what’s going on up there. Hopefully one of the readers might just gain a little bit of understanding from this or maybe help them clear up their thoughts a little. It certainly helped me today. I have lost too many friends to this and although i dont know any of you i class us as part of a family (albeit through mutual support of a football club) so even though i dont even know how to sort my own head out please shout up if you need to speak to someone. That sounds good, if you can " understand or picture better what’s going on up there" and " see some sort of line in my head that needs to move to the positive side" . It can be a slow process with setbacks on the way but there is light at the end of the tunnel and things can get better mate. Stick at it. Good luck!
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Post by borat on Mar 18, 2016 16:49:27 GMT
Ok so here goes... I’m currently being treated for depression, anxiety and PTSD and although I’m quite new into the recovery process the mass of thoughts that run through my head have meant that i couldn’t understand any single part of what was happening to me. This morning however whilst speaking to the CPN i have managed to kind of explain slightly to myself at least what’s happening... We all have things that get us down, maybe from childhood, maybe from war, maybe a traumatic event in the recent past. When i was a young 20 year old with money in my pocket, birds on the go, holidays, nights out and not a care in the world my head was say 95% positive thoughts to 5% negative. There was not enough space in my head for any more negative thoughts. This kept my feelings and emotions in check. Now I’m massively down. I would say I’m 10% positive (my son) and 90% negative (finances, poor marriage, loss of driving licence, career going nowhere, injured and so on). I don’t know what to do about the negative factors in my head but mentally i can now see some sort of line in my head that needs to move to the positive side. I don’t know how I’m going to sort any of this mess out but just working out the above had made me understand or picture better what’s going on up there. Hopefully one of the readers might just gain a little bit of understanding from this or maybe help them clear up their thoughts a little. It certainly helped me today. I have lost too many friends to this and although i dont know any of you i class us as part of a family (albeit through mutual support of a football club) so even though i dont even know how to sort my own head out please shout up if you need to speak to someone. The part about being young and positive is bang on, I didn't have a care in the world until I was about 24, getting older doesn't mean it gets easier.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 26, 2016 8:03:56 GMT
In February I decided to tell my Dr that I was suffering with symptoms of depression. Bit of a cop out really as I'd been suffering quietly (although my wife knew) since early 2000 It gradually got worse, health suffered, weight gaining while my head was constantly telling me ...what's the point in it all If I'm honest so low, at times I wasn't bothered whether I was here or not I, like others, had the usual signs of ...high one minute low the next. the thing was that at the back of my mind I always thought it was my medication for my hiatus hernia that was the culprit...even tho I was beginning to need a higher dose. my Dr always told me that my theory was bollocks, even tho the leaflet in the meds confirmed that I could be right...and obviously loads of web links of people with similar probs Anyway, I decided to see my dr in February after I noticed id started getting so tired all the time, I mean all the time. and my memory...don't get me wrong, I've always been a little forgetful but, it was getting far worse all of a sudden. Also I was at the point that my brain was struggling to function/work on the easiest of tasks. i seriously felt like my body/mind was giving in. So, my Dr immediately prescribes me some depression drugs and says..."come see me in 2 week, these will give you a lift, then we'll talk of cognitive behavioural therapy (you only get 10minutes with the NHS) i got home with my prescription thinking wow, I'm gonna get fixed. Then my daughter calls to ask what happened. When she heard the name of the meds she warned that she knew someone who took them and it made them a bit full on...a bit crazy I decided to check if these meds were compatable with my other meds omeprazole BINGO! by complete accident I came across a site that showed me how my meds and my diet could be causing all my symptoms. DECISIONS DECISIONS. do I take loopy tabs or try a healthy diet first? ill cut it short but what I did was I cut my omeprazole down slowly over weeks from 20mg to 10mg to breaking it in half to 5mg at the same time I started a LOW CARBS, NO SUGAR, NO DAIRY, GLUTEN FREE, ANTI FUNGLE DIET. THIS WAS NOT STARTED TO LOSE WEIGHT After day one I felt pretty good (although hungry) DAY 2 I was so weak I was off my feet......massive migraine, felt sick etc day 3 felt a little better day 4 I felt weird, like out of body experience really happy day 5 same day 6 FUCK ME! I was buzzin, and I mean buzzin (at the back of my mind I thought, wait for the downer)....never came at the same time I used herbal organic remedies for my hiatus hernia as I came off the meds completely. So, my Drs appointment was a month over due (due to me wanted to be sure it worked) I went to see him As soon as he saw me he was very impressed. He could see I was on cloud nine as soon as I walked in. itold him I'd not used his meds but, my diet, and that I had to hold myself back each day I woke, because my mind was on overdrive......the way I felt when I was in my 20's as a bonus since Feb I have lost 2 stone......I've not had one bout of reflux from my hiatus hernia, I now sleep with just one pillow without having to sleep almost sitting up all night. My mind is alive again. I'm full of energy and feel great everyday if you struggle with depression or just want to feel better and get a healthy body look into the anti candida diet for a while (very tough diet) and maybe move to the easier low carb no sugar diet later. but it's got to be better than just suffering im still on the anti candida diet as it's keeping my reflux at bay without the need for meds and the loopy drugs went straight in the bin hope it helps someone
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