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Post by nottinghamstokie on Aug 6, 2015 10:43:21 GMT
I hate "hit with pace"
and anything that includes "experience" or "experienced"
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openg
Youth Player
If it ain't broke, fix it until it is.
Posts: 264
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Post by openg on Aug 6, 2015 12:47:22 GMT
Dislike the "your Xs" as in "your Ronaldos and your Suarezes". Who talks like that? I'm going down to the chip shop for a pie. I'm looking for your wrights or your pukkas
I love the descriptions of the ball's flight, be it "drilled", "lofted" "floated" "bobbled" "good looking cross(es)".I love all those
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Post by KevinWhimper on Aug 6, 2015 13:05:21 GMT
"City" and "United". WE were formed before Manchester Blue Brand therefore WE are the original City.
"We like to get the ball down on the ground and play football". - Ahh yes, as you are different to other football teams who play fucking tiddlywinks at 3 o'clock on a Saturday afternoon.
"Walters always gives you 110%". - No he doesn't. It's highly unlikely that he has ever offered the team anything close to 100% of his physical and technical exertion. It's not possible to give 10% more than what you can possibly give.
"Player X has been very clever there in winning a penalty". - No he hasn't, he's been a lying cheating sewer rat who represents the epicenter of the disease that's crippling our game.
"Brand of football". - What the actual fuck does this mean? "Today's football by Stoke City is bought to you by McDonalds; I'm lovin' it".
Die.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 6, 2015 14:11:04 GMT
Football needs more overt homoeroticism in the commentary rather than just the vague allusions from Motson et al.
"Shiver me sheepskin", and so on
Personal fave:
"He doesn't know if it's new year or New York" from Lawro.
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Post by rawli on Aug 6, 2015 14:24:12 GMT
He's a real football man - translates as he's in the closed shop that seems to operate within English football management.
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Post by manchesterpotter on Aug 6, 2015 14:59:43 GMT
My favourite is one that you rarely hear these days. It only applies to defenders who can 'stretch out a telescopic leg' to make a tackle. I like the idea of Inspector Gadget style centre halves.
'Good feet for a big man' is a terrible one.
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Post by Staying up for Grandadstokey on Aug 6, 2015 16:23:21 GMT
"Playing in the hole"," False No. 9,", are these supposed to be the same thing ?,I haven't got a clue.
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Post by kidcrewbob on Aug 6, 2015 21:01:47 GMT
He's made himself big .....no he hasn't he's the same fucking size as five minutes ago unles he's been standing there pulling his pork
Radio presenters assuming we know who the fuck they're on about viz slap head Brazil on Talkshite this morning "what about Jack - poor poor Jack" fucking Jack who you daft porridge gobbler ? Jones, Osbourne, Straw, Jack and the fucking beanstalk.......fuck right off
Any sentence with 'array kayyyyynnnnneee in it....
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Post by Malcolm Clarke on Aug 6, 2015 22:49:38 GMT
" by jingo, Denis". I love it. Nige is the only person who can use the language of a half a century ago without sounding daft.
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Post by LL Cool Dave on Aug 6, 2015 23:06:37 GMT
'Asking questions'
Drives me up the wall.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 6, 2015 23:08:52 GMT
Mixture of old and fairly new "galactico" "he's a top top player" "It's the West Ham way" and "Martin peters ghosts in" all make me want to vomit
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Post by kidcrewbob on Aug 7, 2015 6:45:09 GMT
Returning to my pet hate term of the ever so slightly misogynistic "handbags" with the rise of women's football what's gonna happen there - "just a bit of man bags Brian" or "bitch fight it's a bitch fight Brian" !!
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Post by njpotter on Aug 7, 2015 13:04:23 GMT
Not quite a cliche but some nut on the local channel for New York Sports always refers to NYC as the "Soccer Capital of the World"
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Post by sheikhmomo on Aug 15, 2015 12:26:01 GMT
Jonathan Pearce delivered that Charlton cliché in relation to us on five live earlier. I was absolutely fucking staggered.
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Post by nottinghamstokie on Aug 15, 2015 12:32:51 GMT
"They know their football here at club X......." ( West Ham and Tottenham seem to get the most mentions )
WTF does that mean ? That they know the rules of the game ?
When the camera pans to the 6 year old with his dad, I seriously doubt he - in the bigger picture - knows very much about football at all at that point.
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