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Post by ukcstokie on Dec 18, 2014 20:51:44 GMT
My Mrs made some cakes the other day with edible glitter.
All I can say is it sparkles on the way in, and on the way out too.
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Post by Deleted on Dec 18, 2014 20:59:40 GMT
You watch your poo coming out regularly?
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Post by Deleted on Dec 18, 2014 21:02:34 GMT
No,his missus watched it as it dropped onto her chest region  |
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Post by desman2 on Dec 18, 2014 21:14:58 GMT
No,his missus watched it as it dropped onto her chest region It added to the sparkle |
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Post by Deleted on Dec 18, 2014 21:17:36 GMT
No,his missus watched it as it dropped onto her chest region It added to the sparkle I bet it did  |
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Post by desman2 on Dec 18, 2014 21:24:05 GMT
Some folks post with a shovel to dig a hole even when they dont intend to.  |
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Post by 2004 on Dec 18, 2014 21:56:26 GMT
No,his missus watched it as it dropped onto her chest region  |
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Post by Billybigbollox on Dec 18, 2014 22:31:42 GMT
My Mrs made some cakes the other day with edible glitter. All I can say is it sparkles on the way in, and on the way out too. Did it show up on the compulsory post wipe paper inspection? |
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Post by Bojan Mackey on Dec 18, 2014 23:55:32 GMT
My Mrs made some cakes the other day with edible glitter. All I can say is it sparkles on the way in, and on the way out too. Did it show up on the compulsory post wipe paper inspection? I fucking hate the post wipe inspection, I went for a dump when I got in from work and the first two wipes were surprisingly clean, so I thought I was in for the holy grail, a clean defecation, so just to make sure I wiped one more time, only to be greeted with a delightful ginger wheelspin on the pan paper, I felt like curling up into a ball and weeping, but I couldn't, because my arse was dirty. Merry fucking Christmas. |
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Post by Deleted on Dec 19, 2014 0:04:34 GMT
Nobody ever want to use my loo, can't understand why   |
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Post by Bojan Mackey on Dec 19, 2014 0:28:18 GMT
I'm not fucking surprised, what possessed you to go for those tiles?.
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Post by desman2 on Dec 19, 2014 0:32:56 GMT
A guy who worked with us around 12 years ago used to watch his missus have a shit and was really open about it. One of the guys asked if he could come and watch and he said hed have a word with his missus and work out a price.
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Post by daveuppercut on Dec 19, 2014 0:47:38 GMT
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Post by Billybigbollox on Dec 19, 2014 8:17:09 GMT
Did it show up on the compulsory post wipe paper inspection? I fucking hate the post wipe inspection, I went for a dump when I got in from work and the first two wipes were surprisingly clean, so I thought I was in for the holy grail, a clean defecation, so just to make sure I wiped one more time, only to be greeted with a delightful ginger wheelspin on the pan paper, I felt like curling up into a ball and weeping, but I couldn't, because my arse was dirty. Merry fucking Christmas. Ha ha ha, never be fooled by the Virgin wipe. There's always a sneaky chug nut lurking in the vicinity. |
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Post by tuum on Dec 19, 2014 8:20:05 GMT
No,his missus watched it as it dropped onto her chest region I went to a detox resort for a week once with my partner. Eating carrot juice and laxatives for a few days and then on to the detoxing colon cleansing part. This involved lying on your back on a surfboard with the end of the surfboard hanging over the toilet bowl, your legs resting on the cistern. The idea was to add a load of water to a coffee solution hanging from a bucket above your head. From the bucket was a tube that you stuck up your arse. You the let the coffee solution flow down the tube and into your colon. Once you felt full you would clamp the tube, extract it from your arse and shuffle along the surfboard to evacuate the contents of your bowels Into the toilet. Continue until all the fluid was emptied from the bucket which was normally about 4-5 flushes. Each evacuation process can consist of a number of waves...the frequency of which are not easy to determine. This took a bit of getting used to and I struggled to reintroduce the pipe into my arse after the evacuation phase. My partner was on hand to assist in this matter. Unfortunately, on one occasion she was a bit too slow introducing the tube into my anal passage and I felt another wave within my stomach. The end result was that I shat all over her hand and the surfboard. Luckily, the process means that it was all fluid with only a few flecks of shitty stuff. It was at this point in our relationship (about 8yrs ago) that I realised she was worth keeping. Dedication and devotion beyond the call of duty in my eyes. |
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Post by pretzel on Dec 19, 2014 16:57:45 GMT
Nobody ever want to use my loo, can't understand why Maybe they spotted the ghostly manifestation of John Lennon smiling at them just under the left hand hinge? Have you notified anyone about this 'Turin Shroud' like apparition on your shitter? |
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Post by Okie Stokie. on Dec 19, 2014 17:39:03 GMT
Nobody ever want to use my loo, can't understand why You dirty disgusting bastard living the bloody seat up is just not on. |
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Post by Deleted on Dec 19, 2014 18:47:00 GMT
I'm not fucking surprised, what possessed you to go for those tiles?. Bojan helped me pick them. Must be happy with the choice of tiles now? |
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Post by Deleted on Dec 19, 2014 18:48:26 GMT
Nobody ever want to use my loo, can't understand why Maybe they spotted the ghostly manifestation of John Lennon smiling at them just under the left hand hinge? Have you notified anyone about this 'Turin Shroud' like apparition on your shitter? Crikey your right! |
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Post by Deleted on Dec 19, 2014 18:49:38 GMT
Nobody ever want to use my loo, can't understand why You dirty disgusting bastard living the bloody seat up is just not on. Apologies, apart from that it's not looking bad? |
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Post by desman2 on Dec 19, 2014 18:54:19 GMT
Nobody ever want to use my loo, can't understand why Fuck me, youve actually cleaned it at long last |
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Post by Deleted on Dec 19, 2014 19:01:52 GMT
Nobody ever want to use my loo, can't understand why Fuck me, youve actually cleaned it at long last Yes with guests round over Christmas, I though it could do with a clean. |
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Post by Okie Stokie. on Dec 19, 2014 19:03:34 GMT
Fuck me, youve actually cleaned it at long last Yes with guests round over Christmas, I though it could do with a clean. You have forgot the bog roll Ambass. |
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Post by Deleted on Dec 19, 2014 19:07:11 GMT
Yes with guests round over Christmas, I though it could do with a clean. You have forgot the bog roll Ambass. I haven't forgot it, I just don't use it. |
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Post by Okie Stokie. on Dec 19, 2014 19:09:54 GMT
You have forgot the bog roll Ambass. I haven't forgot it, I just don't use it. Oh. I see gone all posh have we. |
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Post by Deleted on Dec 19, 2014 19:22:36 GMT
I haven't forgot it, I just don't use it. Oh. I see gone all posh have we. Just think of ll that money you are spending on bog roll. |
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Post by Billybigbollox on Dec 19, 2014 19:42:15 GMT
You have forgot the bog roll Ambass. I haven't forgot it, I just don't use it. You must've stayed in the same hotel as me in Riga judging by that photo. That's what the bog was like before the stag weekend |
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Post by countofmontecristo on Dec 19, 2014 20:20:47 GMT
No,his missus watched it as it dropped onto her chest region I went to a detox resort for a week once with my partner. Eating carrot juice and laxatives for a few days and then on to the detoxing colon cleansing part. This involved lying on your back on a surfboard with the end of the surfboard hanging over the toilet bowl, your legs resting on the cistern. The idea was to add a load of water to a coffee solution hanging from a bucket above your head. From the bucket was a tube that you stuck up your arse. You the let the coffee solution flow down the tube and into your colon. Once you felt full you would clamp the tube, extract it from your arse and shuffle along the surfboard to evacuate the contents of your bowels Into the toilet. Continue until all the fluid was emptied from the bucket which was normally about 4-5 flushes. Each evacuation process can consist of a number of waves...the frequency of which are not easy to determine. This took a bit of getting used to and I struggled to reintroduce the pipe into my arse after the evacuation phase. My partner was on hand to assist in this matter. Unfortunately, on one occasion she was a bit too slow introducing the tube into my anal passage and I felt another wave within my stomach. The end result was that I shat all over her hand and the surfboard. Luckily, the process means that it was all fluid with only a few flecks of shitty stuff. It was at this point in our relationship (about 8yrs ago) that I realised she was worth keeping. Dedication and devotion beyond the call of duty in my eyes. Nice! Might have a go myself. Was it decaf coffee? |
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Post by Billybigbollox on Dec 19, 2014 20:41:48 GMT
I went to a detox resort for a week once with my partner. Eating carrot juice and laxatives for a few days and then on to the detoxing colon cleansing part. This involved lying on your back on a surfboard with the end of the surfboard hanging over the toilet bowl, your legs resting on the cistern. The idea was to add a load of water to a coffee solution hanging from a bucket above your head. From the bucket was a tube that you stuck up your arse. You the let the coffee solution flow down the tube and into your colon. Once you felt full you would clamp the tube, extract it from your arse and shuffle along the surfboard to evacuate the contents of your bowels Into the toilet. Continue until all the fluid was emptied from the bucket which was normally about 4-5 flushes. Each evacuation process can consist of a number of waves...the frequency of which are not easy to determine. This took a bit of getting used to and I struggled to reintroduce the pipe into my arse after the evacuation phase. My partner was on hand to assist in this matter. Unfortunately, on one occasion she was a bit too slow introducing the tube into my anal passage and I felt another wave within my stomach. The end result was that I shat all over her hand and the surfboard. Luckily, the process means that it was all fluid with only a few flecks of shitty stuff. It was at this point in our relationship (about 8yrs ago) that I realised she was worth keeping. Dedication and devotion beyond the call of duty in my eyes. Nice! Might have a go myself. Was it decaf coffee? Do they use those expensive coffee beans that a monkey or whatever has eaten and shat out? |
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Post by countofmontecristo on Dec 19, 2014 20:49:58 GMT
Nice! Might have a go myself. Was it decaf coffee? Do they use those expensive coffee beans that a monkey or whatever has eaten and shat out? That sounds a bit too expensive mate. I was thinking more the DIY route. Garden hose, ironing board and Asda homebrew coffee :-) |
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