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Post by Deleted on Jun 23, 2014 18:20:05 GMT
I heard that to get into 'Ozzie' you get a full medical check-up including a doctor's big hamfisted hand going up your back passge. I reckon a stay in Thailand before hand will set you up well My doctor says he has to kiss me at the same time too
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Post by chigstoke on Jun 23, 2014 18:30:43 GMT
So scfc2014 is a gayer now? Well, at least he has a place to kip now
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Post by bathstoke on Jun 23, 2014 18:34:35 GMT
Don't listen to them, Scfc2001 ( or whatever your name is) they are tugging your chain. There are no such thing as Bumers in Australia. You should get yourself down to Sydney and sign up for a team. Preseason training is at a place called Oxford St and takes place over one weekend in mid February. All the footballers get together and it's a brilliant atmosphere. Make sure you wear your kit. Yes there is. My Uncle Soft-touch (as he liked to call himself) just opened a bar called Bumers and its for gayers only. In fact, the only customer they've had so far is a british fell a from stoke who has recently moved over there to play football. Spends all his time in there apparently coz he's looking for a place to crash. My uncle lets him stay for a bit of old fashioned 4 times per week. What's "Old Fashioned!?!"
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Post by scfc2014 on Jun 23, 2014 21:10:43 GMT
You all love going on about pushing dinners back so you lot coming out that closet any time soon
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Post by chigstoke on Jun 23, 2014 21:16:16 GMT
You all love going on about pushing dinners back so you lot, I am officially coming out the closet That's why you visited bumers then
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Post by foxysgloves on Jun 23, 2014 21:29:07 GMT
Scfc2014 I've changed my mind. I really like you.
Chasing the dream, believing in the impossible.
And all Potteries slang that can't even be tamed by t'internet.
Rather than fearing that you're real I'm now hoping you're real.
An all that.
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Post by bmstoke on Jun 23, 2014 21:32:45 GMT
Scfc2014 I've changed my mind. I really like you. Chasing the dream, believing in the impossible. And all Potteries slang that can't even be tamed by t'internet. Rather than fearing that you're real I'm now hoping you're real. An all that. You only like him now you've found out he's a bumder.
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Post by foxysgloves on Jun 23, 2014 21:36:15 GMT
Scfc2014 I've changed my mind. I really like you. Chasing the dream, believing in the impossible. And all Potteries slang that can't even be tamed by t'internet. Rather than fearing that you're real I'm now hoping you're real. An all that. You only like him now you've found out he's a bumder. I've been bumbled. I mean rumbled.
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Post by scfc2014 on Jun 24, 2014 3:49:36 GMT
It's orate foxy no flys on me yoth I'm who I am
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Post by marwood on Jun 24, 2014 8:06:48 GMT
To my knowledge SCFC isn't a gayer and has never been to bumers nightclub. I inadvertently introduced a gay element to the thread when I told a true story about being picked up at Perth airport by a Scottish taxi driver who had connections to Ernie Tappy. As I said at the time, he wasn't a card carrying homosexual, just liked to bob into his wife's underwear now and then when no one was around and show his bits and pieces to other men with beards on the internet. Once he arranged to meet a truck driver at Fremantle fish and chips restaurant by the sea (with the big pirate ship) but I don't know the ins and outs of what went on.
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Post by Deleted on Jun 24, 2014 9:31:52 GMT
To my knowledge SCFC isn't a gayer and has never been to bumers nightclub. I inadvertently introduced a gay element to the thread when I told a true story about being picked up at Perth airport by a Scottish taxi driver who had connections to Ernie Tappy. As I said at the time, he wasn't a card carrying homosexual, just liked to bob into his wife's underwear now and then when no one was around and show his bits and pieces to other men with beards on the internet. Once he arranged to meet a truck driver at Fremantle fish and chips restaurant by the sea (with the big pirate ship) but I don't know the ins and outs of what went on. By the Pirates Ship....Did they have a Jolly Rodger.
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Post by marwood on Jun 24, 2014 10:58:38 GMT
Possibly, not really sure how these things work, he wasn't in there for long, his mate kept the taxi running
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Post by marwood on Jun 24, 2014 11:01:20 GMT
Chugs, I think you would benefit from an agent/impresario/tour manager/publicist / translator before you leave and when you get there. Some of the things you say get lost in translation and you undoubtably have talent but it needs harnessing. Are there any volunteers who can help our starlet?
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Post by scfc2014 on Jun 24, 2014 11:15:51 GMT
Look here marra I dunner need anyone translating for me I let my foot work do the story and keep you buming to your sen
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Post by marwood on Jun 24, 2014 14:13:29 GMT
I've never bumed anyone mate nor I have I ever been bumed. In fact the nearest I came was in 2009 when I bought a full length leather settee off a bloke called Toby Van Twerpen in Telford. It was a big massive settee and hard work so I asked to use his bog. Now normally I would never dream of asking to use a strangers bog, it's just wrong, but it was a hot day and hard work. Anyway as I was walking back from the bog, his bedroom door was slightly ajar and inside I could see whips, chains, gimp masks and jacuzzis. His wife saw me looking and kind of smiled and once downstairs Toby made a big show of telling her off eg " oy don't leave the door open for heavens sake" and so on but they were both kind of half smiling so I got the picture. They asked me to stay for tea and biscuits but I made my excuses and left. In fact There were a couple of clues as to their being sex people when I looked back on the incident. Firstly he was wearing glasses with those bits of string on the side like larry Grayson. Now ask anyone, that's a sure fire sign of a swinger, as it means the glasses stay on when they're in them jacuzzi or tied up hanging from the ceiling, they can still see what's going on and keep abreast of things. Secondly as I was leaving I saw pampas grass growing in the front garden. Nailed on sign to other swingers 100%. The way I understand it they drive or walk past the gaff and clock the pampas grass and say to themselves hello, like minded people, get in, eg knock on mate and we'll do sexy things together and so forth. Bob on certainty. Now as to whether I would have been bumed or not had I stayed, who can say? I didn't really see a menu or anything but as I say it's the closest I've come to it so just thought I would clear that up. Actually on reflection , I'm sure Toby mentioned he was a Stoke fan, so I hope if he's on here or any of his workmates are, I hope I haven't given the game away as to him being a sex man. If so, Toby mate just message me on here and I'll take this message down pronto (or at least use you an alias) so your cover isn't blown
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Post by scfc2014 on Jun 25, 2014 0:24:20 GMT
you seem to be obsessed with bumers yoth are you one yourself???????come on dunner be shy
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Post by marwood on Jun 25, 2014 7:50:36 GMT
No mate, Im obsessed with Vintage Star Wars figures as well but I onner one of them either
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Post by scfc2014 on Jun 26, 2014 22:16:04 GMT
I'm off Melbourne I am first of august question for all you ozzis am thinking getting some new boots an pads should I get em up Hanley for I go cause not sure the sell em down Melbourne what you recon yoth
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Post by Deleted on Jun 26, 2014 22:52:37 GMT
I'm off Melbourne I am first of august question for all you ozzis am thinking getting some new boots an pads should I get em up Hanley for I go cause not sure the sell em down Melbourne what you recon yoth You trust Hanley over Melbourne. You daft sod.
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Post by southcarolinastokie on Jun 26, 2014 23:00:56 GMT
If u go up 'Anley duck, u get bummed yoth, round de back ov JJB
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Post by bolders on Jun 27, 2014 0:21:49 GMT
Buy them off the net it's cheaper
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Post by scfc2014 on Jun 27, 2014 0:52:30 GMT
whats up caroline yer got no mates stop stiring yoth an it inner funny no more cause it wanner in the first place,ta bolders was tinking that me sen yoth
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Post by bolders on Jun 27, 2014 3:40:51 GMT
It's too expensive out here in Aus
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Post by Deleted on Jun 27, 2014 4:06:44 GMT
No mate, Im obsessed with Vintage Star Wars figures as well but I onner one of them either It's only gay if you push back, apparently, allegedly, so they say....
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Post by Deleted on Jun 27, 2014 4:09:53 GMT
I'm off Melbourne I am first of august question for all you ozzis am thinking getting some new boots an pads should I get em up Hanley for I go cause not sure the sell em down Melbourne what you recon yoth Toby Van Twerpen in Telford can fix you up with boots and pads, I reckon you'd look good in some of his special gear.
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Post by bathstoke on Jun 27, 2014 5:57:39 GMT
you seem to be obsessed with bumers yoth are you one yourself???????come on dunner be shy Hast got brown wings!?!
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Post by chigstoke on Jun 27, 2014 8:15:37 GMT
I'm off Melbourne I am first of august question for all you ozzis am thinking getting some new boots an pads should I get em up Hanley for I go cause not sure the sell em down Melbourne what you recon yoth Hold on. You're on about buying boots and Shin pads down Hanley because you think they wouldn't sell them in Melbourne? How people have coped with you for 9 pages I'll never know
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Post by marwood on Jun 27, 2014 9:26:55 GMT
I'm off Melbourne I am first of august question for all you ozzis am thinking getting some new boots an pads should I get em up Hanley for I go cause not sure the sell em down Melbourne what you recon yoth Toby Van Twerpen in Telford can fix you up with boots and pads, I reckon you'd look good in some of his special gear. Indeed, Toby specialises in wipe clean leather gear, but I dont think we should continue to use his full name and location on a public message board, or give any other details out, other than he drove a 1972 brown Vauxhall Viva which was parked outside his garden full of pampas grass
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Post by scfc2014 on Jun 27, 2014 11:09:35 GMT
Ment say get them up Hanley cause mite be a bit deer down Melbourne it come out wrong so dunner start
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Post by Pedropotter on Jun 27, 2014 11:29:54 GMT
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