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Post by bunnyscfc on Dec 31, 2012 15:08:08 GMT
news just in that Miranda is auctioning a picture of her finishing second to Frankel in his final race, to the cause.
Well in Miranda, lad, er, love.
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Post by davejohnno1 on Dec 31, 2012 16:54:15 GMT
I've just booked the day off work so that I can attend his funeral.
You lot telling me that he isn't dead?
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Post by bunnyscfc on Dec 31, 2012 17:01:33 GMT
Christ Dave, he's fighting his little heart out, but the grass burned far worse than at first thought. It seems that only bleach will now get the stain out. The Saints are expected to retire his shorts as a mark of respect.
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Post by wardrobe monster on Dec 31, 2012 17:04:08 GMT
Breaking News from the FA....... In light of this near tragic incident the Fa have confirmed that every football club MUST have a bottle of "Stain Devil" on the touchline so that stains can be treated immediately, before the boil wash.
It is hoped this visionary action will be rolled out further to include public places like shopping centres and libraries.
This is what I love about the football community, it rallies around it's own people. Brings a tear to my eye.
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Post by dozintheseventees on Dec 31, 2012 17:14:06 GMT
If the shorts can't be saved, there will be a minutes silence at all matches around the country as a mark of respect for a brave garment that was an example to sportswear around the world.
I'm filling up.
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Post by murphthesurf on Dec 31, 2012 17:41:01 GMT
Dah-dah-dah - da-dah - da-daaaaaaah……..BONG! BONG! BONG!
Well, I have maintained my all-night vigil outside St. Mary's and can now report back that in this harrowing situation the aforementioned publicity-hungry cardinals, with their printed copies of the words of the Last Rites still clutched in their hot little hands, are now getting fidgety and enormously disappointed that the plucky victim is STILL just about clinging to a thin shred of life after more than 24 hours.
All SCFC supporters say: 'Hang in there, lad. God bless.'
The cardinals say: 'Ah, shaddapa ya face.'
This is murphthesurf, for News at Ten and the Oatcake, outside St. Mary's.
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Post by bunnyscfc on Dec 31, 2012 19:08:17 GMT
sad news folks.
The shorts were officially placed in a bin outside the main reception at St Mary's at 6.44pm tonight. They put up a brave fight, but a bit of the elastic had apparently gone and there was also some minor fraying too.
Can't put into words just how I feel right now. I don't think I'll ever be able to look at a pair of Southampton away shorts again, to be honest. Just want to go away to a land they haven't heard of replica kits.
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Post by thevoid on Dec 31, 2012 19:32:46 GMT
Looking a lot better today:
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Post by Deleted on Dec 31, 2012 20:52:54 GMT
a brilliant thread that i suspect will go on and on and on...
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Post by Deleted on Dec 31, 2012 21:05:24 GMT
It's trending on Twitter now that Led Zep, McCartney and Elton John have agreed to do a special gig. Considering all that guy's been through, it's only fitting really.
Come on Corky!
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Post by Staffsoatcake on Dec 31, 2012 21:06:36 GMT
Hope I'm nor premature,but RIP Jack.
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Post by vinecent on Dec 31, 2012 21:18:42 GMT
News just in; Stoke City have been fined by the FA for the playing field being grass instead of an artificial pitch. Jack Cork hopes this incites a new revelation in Football and produces a change within every football stadium to negate consultations like this one.
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Post by rorymscfc on Dec 31, 2012 22:16:01 GMT
BREAKING NEWS!!!
Tonight's New Years fireworks on the Thames will go head as Jack's family have issued a statement saying that its what Jack would have wanted*
*If he had actually been dead.
Keep fighting lad!
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Post by lennythegoose on Dec 31, 2012 22:42:35 GMT
It's trending on Twitter now that Led Zep, McCartney and Elton John have agreed to do a special gig. Considering all that guy's been through, it's only fitting really. Come on Corky! This is nuts. Emeli Sandé wants a piece of this now. Good work Bunny Geldof.
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Post by barneypcm on Dec 31, 2012 23:12:10 GMT
oh god this more serious than the ramsey incident Nzonzi will be hated for years just like shawcross
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Post by ivan36drago on Dec 31, 2012 23:26:54 GMT
I still blame Shawcross. Crazy fool!!!
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Post by vote for pedro on Dec 31, 2012 23:32:44 GMT
If shawcross had been on the pitch there surely woul have been skid marks as well as grass stains! Thank fuck he'd been banned as the last thing I want is for Ryan to be blamed for poor jacks bottom grapes being ruptured by the poo vacating his bowel!
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Post by blissville on Jan 1, 2013 0:51:15 GMT
Terrible year for Jack + his family. Lets hope 2013 sees a full recovery from his (very) near death experience. Our thoughts are with you Corky lad - I for one did not feel it was appropriate to partake in any kind if celebrations tonight given the grave + serious nature of his current condition. It doesn't feel right to wish fellow Stokies a 'Happy New Year' but I will anyway (no disrespect meant to the Cork family or Southampton football club of course).
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corky
Youth Player
What absolute twaddle.
Posts: 298
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Post by corky on Jan 1, 2013 1:16:54 GMT
Reports of my death have been greatly exagerated.
Although I do feel peculiar.
Do I need to change my user name now?
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Post by Deleted on Jan 1, 2013 1:22:08 GMT
Reports of my death have been greatly exagerated. Although I do feel peculiar. Do I need to change my user name now? Jack, mate, how are the shorts? I hear they've got the top people from Proctor and Gamble on it. Tragic news. Tragic....
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Post by Deleted on Jan 1, 2013 1:24:52 GMT
Wonderful Cork Aid Tribute night on BBC35 Just uploaded this from my phone
Come on Jack lad...we're rooting for you this year, we're all so worried
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corky
Youth Player
What absolute twaddle.
Posts: 298
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Post by corky on Jan 1, 2013 1:46:53 GMT
They've shrunk in the wash. The next 24 hours are crucial. Permanent chafing a real possibility.
When will the courts see sense? Assisted suicide is the only dignified solution.
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Post by thevoid on Jan 1, 2013 1:47:39 GMT
As a mark of respect, Tesco and Asda are only selling wine bottles with screwtops.
Morrisons are still selling corked bottles, but they've promised to give 1% of their takings to the Jack Cork Foundation.
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Post by Deleted on Jan 1, 2013 2:15:33 GMT
Tonight i said a prayer. I was too pre-occupied with the Jack Cork saga to celebrate new year. I said the below prayer:
O Father of mercies and God of all comfort, our only help in time of need: We humbly beseech thee to behold, visit and relieve thy sick servant; Jack Cork, for whom our prayers are desired. Look upon him with the eyes of thy mercy; comfort him with a sense of thy goodness; preserve him from the temptations of the enemy (Steven Nzonzi); harbour him from the occasional gust of wind or earth tremor from the nearby stampeding foe (steven nzonzi) that doth trouble him so, and give him patience under his affliction. In thy good time, restore him to health, and enable him to lead the residue of his life in thy fear, and to thy glory; with no need for recourse to rolling around with clenched teeth and teary eyes, and grant that finally he may dwell with thee in life everlasting; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.
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Post by drfootball on Jan 1, 2013 9:32:02 GMT
Just had it on reasonable authority that following a visit from the new Archbishop of Canterbury and the administration of a gallon of holy water through a rubber tube up his arse brave young Corky will start against the Arse today! The power of prayer and the thoughts of Stokies everywhere has made this happen! It`s a miracle I tells ya!
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Post by Deleted on Jan 1, 2013 12:26:05 GMT
Just had it on reasonable authority that following a visit from the new Archbishop of Canterbury and the administration of a gallon of holy water through a rubber tube up his arse brave young Corky will start against the Arse today! The power of prayer and the thoughts of Stokies everywhere has made this happen! It`s a miracle I tells ya! Rumour on twitter that its actually just a lookalike, they dont want the extents of his horrific injury known to the whole world so are covering it all up. The world deserves to know the truth about England's, nay Europe's most prodigious talent
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Post by Sven on Jan 1, 2013 13:04:29 GMT
Tonight i said a prayer. I was too pre-occupied with the Jack Cork saga to celebrate new year. I said the below prayer: O Father of mercies and God of all comfort, our only help in time of need: We humbly beseech thee to behold, visit and relieve thy sick servant; Jack Cork, for whom our prayers are desired. Look upon him with the eyes of thy mercy; comfort him with a sense of thy goodness; preserve him from the temptations of the enemy (Steven Nzonzi); harbour him from the occasional gust of wind or earth tremor from the nearby stampeding foe (steven nzonzi) that doth trouble him so, and give him patience under his affliction. In thy good time, restore him to health, and enable him to lead the residue of his life in thy fear, and to thy glory; with no need for recourse to rolling around with clenched teeth and teary eyes, and grant that finally he may dwell with thee in life everlasting; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.[/quote ;D ;DPISSER ;D ;D
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Post by 99problems on Jan 1, 2013 13:21:08 GMT
Keep away from the light
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Post by drfootball on Jan 1, 2013 13:43:37 GMT
Just checked brave Corky`s wiki entry and shamefully there`s no mention of his life threatening injury or stirring battle back to health! Disgraceful! He also has one of the most pretenious middle names I`ve ever heard of,anyone else know of a Porteous?
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Post by blissville on Jan 1, 2013 14:12:51 GMT
I must admit to feeling a little guilty after allowing myself a smirk when I saw his middle was Porteous. However, I'm back to filling up + having tears in my eyes again (I know Huthy wouldn't approve but I just can't seem to help it every time I think of poor old Corky's suffering)
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