A frog joke (not THE frog joke)

[JR]

A guy walks into a bar, orders a scotch and soda and puts a frog on the bar. The bartender gives him the drink and asks what the frog's for?
The guy snaps his fingers and the frog jumps down and then blows the man. The bartender is amazed, and asks to see that again.
So the guy a second time snaps his fingers, the frog jumps down, blows the man, and hops back on the bar. The bartender is astounded, he offers the guy £1000 for the frog.
The man of course accepts, and gives the frog to the bartender.
The bartender, after his shift, goes home. he's sitting in his kitchen, calls his wife over, says he has something to show her.
His wife walks in, the bartender takes the frog out of his pocket, puts it on the table, snaps his fingers, the frog jumps down, blows the bartender and hops back on the kitchen table.
The wife asks, "why the hell are you showing me this?"
The bartender says, "cause once to I teach him how to cook and hoover, you're gonna get the fuck outta here."



Apologies again

[Pricey]

Has anyone seen Peter Kay at the Bolton Albert Hall?

'Bit of blue for the dads...he's blue John, he's blue' ;D

JR- missed the original frog joke, can you put it in this thread please?

It's the way ya type 'em!!!

[JR]

The original frog joke has gone into IBPU history as the greatest "gag" ever. I'm sure all who were there to witness the hilarity will confirm this ???


I think after half an hour of telling it, only Hells Bells laughed and I think that was due to the silence.

[Deleted]

it was told by JR late one night in Sangams, going back a few years now, can't remember a word of it, for the best really... it's gone down in the annals of Oatcake message-board urban myth (see in-joke) along with 'Sphex', 'Kenneth A Fransson', 'Mr Anus' etc. Saying it now would be jumping the shark, maybe

[JR]

I take it the frog pic was your doing ???


Gareth, the way i remember it in Sangams was we had to bring you pints of water to stop the convulsions durng your laughing fits.

[Pricey]

;D

[Parksy]

At great risk of personal injury (i.e. anyone reading this joke discovers where I live ;D ), here is my frog joke:-

A drunk is sitting at a bar, and says, "Bartender! Another drink."
The bartender shakes his head and says, "No you've had enough."

"Well," the drunk says. "How about if I show you something really cool? Then will you give me a drink?"

"Sure," the bartender says. "But it's gotta be pretty cool."

The drunk takes a tiny piano and a frog out of his pockets and sets them on the bar. The frog starts banging away, playing a beautiful song.
The bartender gives him a drink. The drunk downs it, and orders another.

"No way," the bartender says. "Now you've really had enough."

"If you give me a drink, I'll show you something even cooler," says the drunk.
The bartender agrees.
The drunk pulls out a rat, and sets it next to the piano. The frog starts banging away again, and the rat starts singing to the music.
The bartender is amazed, and gives him another drink.

A man who had been watching all this comes up to the drunk and says, "You've got a million dollar act there. I'll give you £500,000 for them right now."

"Not for sale," the drunk croaks.

"Ok, £500,000 just for the frog."

"Not for sale."

"Ok, £500,000 just for the rat."

The drunk agrees, and the man pays him and leaves.

The bartender says to the drunk, "What did you do that for? You broke up a million dollar act!"

"Not really," the drunk says. "You see, the frog's a ventriloquist."

[Pricey]

That ones good, so it can't have been JR's.

[hellsbells]

JR

Can't remember the original 'Frog' joke.... only that it was tres funny...or was it everyones' faces once you'd finally finished and delivered the 'punch' line

H xx

[JR]

I think the latter HB, the waiters and kitchen staff came out to listen if you remember?


I think it got too built up. ;D