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Post by Sfance on Jul 7, 2012 0:25:22 GMT
You have so much to learn. And how many years are we talking here? You better get your skates on. (I think I better get you a book on Merkan English. It is, after all, the Merkan century.)
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Post by mumf on Jul 7, 2012 22:51:08 GMT
Merkan English...Mmmm....
I might have to draw on the resources of that esteemed academic Hudsongod...He's dead clever thee knowst. He got a first at Oxford in English, although rumours persist that he was only awarded it to him to stop him from fucking moaning abite Tony Pulis.
You remember his famous Red Card campaign...? What a man..A bit like Captain Smith (of Titanic fame )...
I'll have to go ...These two Pyryanean Mountain Fuckers keep farting....I think they might need a shit.
Give my best to Daphne ....I've got the first two weeks in March pencilled in , so you'd better decorate the back bedroom with red & white stripes and tastefully adorn it with pictures of the Messiah wearing his baseball cap.
C'mon ...get it sorted , instead of fucking abite with thee train set...
I'll bring the rods...
mumf.
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Post by mumf on Jul 8, 2012 23:07:18 GMT
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Post by Sfance on Jul 16, 2012 22:19:20 GMT
Wow, the transfer wire are really humming down at the Brit, n'est pas? I mean, will Joe Schmo re-sign, will Dave Bloggs go on loan, will the players that were past it last year, be less past it this year? I don't see us winning many games, Mumflestiltskin, no sirree bob. They were falling apart at the end of last season. There's no reason to suppose that's gonna get turned around. Crucifixion staring the Messiah in the face. Good job too, useless excuse for a football manager that he is.
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Post by mumf on Jul 17, 2012 23:13:51 GMT
Joe Schmo....Dave Bloggs....The Crucifixion.... I almost feel like praying....   |
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Post by Sfance on Jul 18, 2012 0:08:32 GMT
Good call, praying is about all that's left. Perhaps you should go up on the Roaches and do it up there - better chance of someone hearing you up there.
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Post by Guest on Jul 19, 2012 22:56:08 GMT
Hi
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Post by Sfance on Jul 20, 2012 0:35:22 GMT
I think he's gone out for a fag. Either that or he's fucked off to Africa again.
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Post by Sfance on Jul 24, 2012 20:59:58 GMT
Just think Pondman, if you had had any gumption at all we could be milling around right now outside the Columbus stadium and you could be picking a fight with any number of other America-based Stokies. Such are the missed opportunites in life.
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Post by mumf on Jul 24, 2012 21:26:06 GMT
Einstein....How fucking dare you...!
When it comes to missed opportunities, how many more fucking go's do you need to beat me...?
Go and get your train set out .....CHOOO ...CHOOO
mumf
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Post by Sfance on Jul 25, 2012 1:23:23 GMT
Good call not coming Mumf. We are AWFUL!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG. ORFULLLLLLL.
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Post by Sfance on Jul 25, 2012 1:23:43 GMT
Not a fucking clue.
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Post by mumf on Jul 28, 2012 21:00:25 GMT
Sicknote....I would like to remind you that this is a Stoke City supporters club website.
All matters apertaining to our great leader and St Peter are welcome...
''NOT A FUCKING CLUE'' is not.
Disgraceful behaviour ...Just fucking typical...a bit like your hero...Hudsondog.
Shame on you...!
I don't know why I fucking bother....It's like trying to knit snot.!
One minute your're standing in 2 foot of frozen ice in Lake Ontario ...and the next minute you're moaning about Tony Pulis...
Fucking crackers...Mad as a box of frogs.!
mumf
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Post by Sfance on Jul 28, 2012 21:30:43 GMT
Does that mean you're settling down to watch another shocking display against Orlando? Mind you, Orlando is a tough fixture, lot of good players. I mean, they even put four past the Rhinos, Rochester's finest, the other day. I cannot tell you Pondman, how bad we looked against Columbus. They should've won by 5. Hope you're ready for the return of the RED CARDS. I predict we'll start off bottom of the table and stay there. Not a fucking clue.
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Post by mumf on Jul 28, 2012 21:46:12 GMT
I PREDICT WE'LL START OFF BOTTOM OF THE TABLE AND STAY THERE'' quote by sfance 10.30 pm 28/07/2012.
SO ....that's another victory for me this season then....?
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Post by Sfance on Jul 28, 2012 21:52:23 GMT
What, you think that won't happen? Have you been into those African drugs again?
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Post by mumf on Jul 28, 2012 21:59:03 GMT
Which reminds me....I need to order a fresh supply...!
I don't know how I'm going to get through another season knowing I'm going to win .
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Post by Sfance on Jul 28, 2012 22:01:29 GMT
I wouldn't fuss too much.
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Post by mumf on Jul 28, 2012 22:06:23 GMT
Einstein....It's not the winning that matters ....Its the gloating afterwards that I enjoy.
Have you prepared the spare room ...?
I'VE BEEN BANNED FROM AFRICA...
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Post by Sfance on Jul 29, 2012 20:33:16 GMT
OK - I've got my prediction all ready for Reading. Wanna start now?
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Post by pittshillplotter on Jul 31, 2012 23:15:45 GMT
OK - I've got my prediction all ready for Reading. Wanna start now? Okay....Defeat...? ...and the score...? |
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Post by Sfance on Aug 1, 2012 0:52:04 GMT
Not sure i can jump the gun on the champ, pittshill. I don't want to offend him. He lives on the edge, y'know. Bit dodgy.
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Post by mumf on Aug 1, 2012 8:16:29 GMT
Einstein....Tell Daphne ...that until I receive a cheque for the mutually agreed amount , then un fortunately I cannot agree to become your 'best man'.
I suppose any fucker would do...why pick on me..?
What have I ever done..?
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Post by Sfance on Aug 1, 2012 11:09:20 GMT
Don't get me wrong Mumf, I appreciate the thought . . . . but. . . . in order to get into this country again, you're gonna need to have someone give you a character reference, and it can't be me because I've already lodged a complaint with the authorities about your last visit.
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Post by Sfance on Aug 1, 2012 11:10:12 GMT
PS . . . . stop skirting round the issue, are you ready to make a prediction about the Reading game or not?
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Post by Guest on Aug 1, 2012 17:40:07 GMT
hi muckas
hows things in the shit bin guys? ;D
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Post by Sfance on Aug 2, 2012 4:02:04 GMT
I see Frasier's scared you off again Mumfles, it's really shameful, y'know, but we all have our demons . . Anyway, since I doubt you watched Charlie's Angels this evening, I thought I'd come on here and give you the benefit of my observations. First of all, the plusses. Well, the major plus was we didn't lose to their reserve team, actually, it may not have been their reserve team, since judging from the commentators some of their players had never played for them before. Now, you realize this was an American reserve team. Y'know, the land of baseball and girls' rugby. To be fair, they did have a couple of English players on their team, but presumably, they were players who couldn't get on a team in England. So, that was the major plus. The other plus was Palacios looked pretty good. Now, I say "looked", because remember, he was playing against an American reserve team, so let's rephrase that, "Palacios looked pretty good compared to the other Angels". Yeah, that sounds a bit more like. Now the negatives. Well, the major one is that it looks like Charlie is still the manager. I was hoping he'd fall off the bus somewhere in East St. Louis and would never be heard of again, but apparently, that didn't happen. The other major negative is that we don't have a Johnny King or an Andy Graver playing for us these days. Y'know, people who score goals. They played in the days before strikers, and they actually succeeded in scoring quite regularly. Did I ever tell you about the time Tim Coleman scored 7 against Lincoln City. Now, THAT was a game worth going to. (King got #8.) Anyway, you probably noticed between genuflections to the "Messiah" that we scored the least number of goals in the WHOLE FUCKING FOOTBALL LEAGUE last year. Now, that is hard to do. I mean, you're up against some really poor teams that I don't even know the names of when you're talking all 92 of them. But, Charlie managed to come out on the bottom of the pile. And how many games did we win after Christmas? Four was it? See, Mumfles, the thing is, football, at least as a spectator sport, is about scoring goals. And we don't do it. And the reason we don't do it i because we don't have any players that can do it. It's a bit of a mystery really. In what other line of work would you get paid £100,000s for not doing what you're hired to do? See what I mean? It really is a mystery. I mean, would those super rich ladies with the pussies continue to hire you if you let their pussies loose on the M6 whenever they dropped them off? I mean, how would that work? You'd have to call the rich ladies up and say, "Sorry, Lady Penelope, but your pussy got taken out by an Eddie Stobart 18-wheeler. Yes, I know that it happened last week with her sister, it's just not so easy looking after pussies these days." See, that really wouldn't cut it for long, would it? Only at the Brit it seems to. Which is why I say that unless Charlie buys himself a Johnny King or an Andy Graver, it's going to be a fucking long season.
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Post by Sfance on Aug 7, 2012 2:11:16 GMT
Are we to assume that you've gone back to supporting Plymouth? Can say I blame you really.
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Post by mumf on Aug 7, 2012 20:34:46 GMT
I see Frasier's scared you off again Mumfles, it's really shameful, y'know, but we all have our demons . . Anyway, since I doubt you watched Charlie's Angels this evening, I thought I'd come on here and give you the benefit of my observations. First of all, the plusses. Well, the major plus was we didn't lose to their reserve team, actually, it may not have been their reserve team, since judging from the commentators some of their players had never played for them before. Now, you realize this was an American reserve team. Y'know, the land of baseball and girls' rugby. To be fair, they did have a couple of English players on their team, but presumably, they were players who couldn't get on a team in England. So, that was the major plus. The other plus was Palacios looked pretty good. Now, I say "looked", because remember, he was playing against an American reserve team, so let's rephrase that, "Palacios looked pretty good compared to the other Angels". Yeah, that sounds a bit more like. Now the negatives. Well, the major one is that it looks like Charlie is still the manager. I was hoping he'd fall off the bus somewhere in East St. Louis and would never be heard of again, but apparently, that didn't happen. The other major negative is that we don't have a Johnny King or an Andy Graver playing for us these days. Y'know, people who score goals. They played in the days before strikers, and they actually succeeded in scoring quite regularly. Did I ever tell you about the time Tim Coleman scored 7 against Lincoln City. Now, THAT was a game worth going to. (King got #8.) Anyway, you probably noticed between genuflections to the "Messiah" that we scored the least number of goals in the WHOLE FUCKING FOOTBALL LEAGUE last year. Now, that is hard to do. I mean, you're up against some really poor teams that I don't even know the names of when you're talking all 92 of them. But, Charlie managed to come out on the bottom of the pile. And how many games did we win after Christmas? Four was it? See, Mumfles, the thing is, football, at least as a spectator sport, is about scoring goals. And we don't do it. And the reason we don't do it i because we don't have any players that can do it. It's a bit of a mystery really. In what other line of work would you get paid £100,000s for not doing what you're hired to do? See what I mean? It really is a mystery. I mean, would those super rich ladies with the pussies continue to hire you if you let their pussies loose on the M6 whenever they dropped them off? I mean, how would that work? You'd have to call the rich ladies up and say, "Sorry, Lady Penelope, but your pussy got taken out by an Eddie Stobart 18-wheeler. Yes, I know that it happened last week with her sister, it's just not so easy looking after pussies these days." See, that really wouldn't cut it for long, would it? Only at the Brit it seems to. Which is why I say that unless Charlie buys himself a Johnny King or an Andy Graver, it's going to be a fucking long season. Einstein.....I don't want to sound harsh or cruel , but one academic once said that there is a very fine line between insanity and genius....  Pulis is slowly grooming our current squad into a well oiled , immaculately engineered top eight side that any Potter would be extremely proud of. Potteries folk don't want to come on here and read your PHW rantings....Oh No....that's why they fucked off Hudsondog. The last I heard he was living in a bedsit at the bottom of Hamil rd, under an assumed name...with 24 hour police protection  Now go away and spend the time constructively reflecting on how lucky we are to have him. Reflect on my genius of being the first man to correctly predict that he would lead us to the promised land...'Mumfs Messiah'. Reflect on why you were never invited for tea and biscuits with St Peter and the great man, like I was... Obviously , I have had to make sacrifices as a result of my association with you and as a result my membership to the 'inner sanctum' has been temporarily suspended...Has it all been worth it ? Has it fuck..! You know, I've tried everything to educate you in the 'beautiful game' but all to no avail . You need to consecrate more.... We are are the verge of something big...something very big ....just wait and see. mumf (Cultural Ambassador for Fegg Hayes & Brindley Ford.) |
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Post by Sfance on Aug 8, 2012 1:56:03 GMT
He took us up, he'll take us down
Pulis the "messiah", Pulis the clown.
No fucking idea how to score goals
But as long as the rimmers pay all their tolls
Charlie's a dork, leading us sraight to demotion
That's all the talk this side of the ocean
And Pondman? As blind as a bat
Doin fuck all but walking Lady P's cat
Never been fussy
Stroking the pussy
Ready for the drop,
Ready for the plop
And as down we go to Division Three
The most extreme rimmers will finally see
That hoofball with his majesty
Is a fucking great travesty
John Ritchie the brave
Turning in his grave
To watch this shite
Not even a fight
Fucking losing wanker Pulis
Totally, I say totally clueless
It's about fucking GOALS
We've all lost our SOULS
It could hardly be sadder
And it's gonna badder
Two more weeks and you'll see
And at last you'll agree
That Charlies the pits
And not worth two shits.
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