Chelsea 'Football' Club

What a sick, tired joke they are. Sky tell us they're the best team in the Premiership, they're likely to win the league. Undoubtedly, they have good players. Sure, they can put together some good moves. But they are the most odious, despicable unbearable collection of the dregs of humanity. They really push Manchester United for the title of the most unbearable club in the world. I don't know who to start on. Maybe Captain John Courageous? The gutless, spineless cheat who supposedly represents us as a nation on the international scene. Went missing whenever the ball was in the air, partly culpable for the goal, seemed to think he was above the game. He was always in the referee's face and there was one notable incident where he received treatment and seemed to think that he didn't have to go off the pitch like everyone else. How about Drogba? I have never seen a worse sportsman than he. That rolling about in the first minute, the constant chatting to the referee, the screaming in the face of the linesman, the constant fouling. Ashley Cole, another of these types who claims that English players don't dive and cheat, and yet he got Shawcross booked when he dived over his challenge and yet another player who thought the game was his to run. Ballack, even worse. That idiot who kept standing in front of Rory and then cried foul when the referee called him back for him. There was an incident in the first half, I think relating to the throw-ins, where EVERY SINGLE CHELSEA PLAYER on the pitch surrounded the referee. That's not football. That is cheating and intimidation.

As for Mike Dean, well I'm sorry Mr Dean, you tried your hardest but they ran the game for you. You tried standing up to them and they surrounded you and harangued you. They started to con you. They tried to take 100 miles so they could get away with stealing a mile out of you. They intimidated you and your officials. There was one incident where the linesman watched Ballack take a free-kick from off the pitch, resulting in a move that led to a string of Chelsea corners. The player who was standing in front of Rory should have been sent off for that incident with a high foot on the halfway line. You do have my sympathy, I've no doubt they tried to get to you at half time. I saw the Chelsea bench gesturing 'five' to your fourth official before he announced the injury time. They got to him too. Come out and say something, be brave.

So you know what Chelsea? Take your three points. Take your League Title, you can have the Champions' League as well. I'm beyond giving a fuck about you because you are slowly killing football for me. You take the game and you strangle out of it all the things that make it good. I hope you set up your own European Super League and take The Shit with you. I hope your owner gets arrested by the Russian government and thrown in prison at the same time the roof blows off your uninsured main stand. I hope that you appeal against FIFA's transfer ban and they finally come down on grotty tin-pot cheats such as yourselves properly and ban you from playing any professional football while freezing movement of players from the club. I hope every single player in that Chelsea squad gets stuck there for life without trophies or medals, because that's what they deserve. Their fans were happily holding up some poxy banner proudly adorned with the words 'since 1905'. 1905? What sort of tin-pot club advertises that against the second oldest league club in the world? Not only do they have 40 years less history than us, but they've spent the last 104 years being completely unnoteworthy, being a team of mavericks and fancy Dans with a following of cocky Southern troglodytes to being universally reviled. You are a stain on football in this country and in the world as a whole. If that's what you have to do to get trophies and medals these days, you can shove them. Give me the Stoke - Sunderland match of a couple of weeks ago any day over any big four encounter. It's not just you, Chelsea, because Liverpool, The Shit and Arsenal are just as bad, but the fact is that you are KILLING THE GAME. I don't use that term lightly, but you destroy the game for the ordinary supporter. Do you know what the worst bit of it all is? Not one TV channel will have the balls to stand up and say "I watched Chelsea today and I was sickened by their antics". They rely on teams like Chelsea to make their money, so they have to crawl on their knees and light candles at the feet of whichever foreigner happens to be managing them this week as he stubs out his expensive cigars on their naked back. Nobody has the courage to stand up to them, nobody speaks out, nobody pays attention to the ordinary people in football who are fed up of them. Nobody will stop them until they have wrenched the last drop of blood from a game, until the soul of football has blackened, festered and descended into Hell where it becomes Satan's tortured plaything.

Chelsea will even ruin international football for me. How can you really get behind Captain John Courageous, Lampard and Cole? They are football's vermin, who have lost their way. Another cowardly, gutless display from all three of them (although Lampard did have a decent game), symptomatic of all England's problems. Do I want these petulant shirkers to represent my country? Do I want the world to look to them as a reflection of our nation? I am ashamed of them.

This isn't about defeat. This isn't about it being a last minute killer. This isn't sour grapes or bitterness. This is a simple lament for the game that I love which has been brutally raped and sodomised by Chelsea. I wouldn't be writing this had they behaved with grace, integrity and dignity.

I apologise that this may have become long, wordy and incoherent, but if anything I had to get this off my chest. Let me put it like this. If Stoke City ever played like Chelsea did today, if we ever resorted to those kind of tactics, scraping the very bottom of the moral barrel, I would sell my season ticket and go to watch Meir KA. I wouldn't care what we won, I could not watch us sell our soul.