|
|
Post by Trouserdog on Mar 2, 2013 20:22:00 GMT
Despite today's defeat I still think that Tone should remain in charge until the end of the season. However, although people are correct in saying that he's unlikely to agree to a stage-managed exit, I think I've got the perfect solution for all parties that would save a lot of embarrassment for everyone concerned. Here's how it will work:-
Before the Spurs game, Jonathan Coates and Tony Scholes accompany TP onto the pitch after convincing him that he's going to sign a new contract in front of the Boothen. However, just as Pulis is about to put pen to paper, Scholes suddenly sticks a hood over TP's head before Coates Jr roughly bundles him into some stocks. A line of fireworks shoot into the sky from the side of the pitch as Denise Coates struts out from the tunnel wearing dominatrix gear and a threatening 12-inch strap-on dildo. Tone's tracksuit bottoms are removed and Denise whacks the dildo up Tone's arse as the tannoy blares out "Is This Love" by Whitesnake.
After Pulis has finished screaming in pain and started whimpering, Denise dons her Bet 365 execution mask and lops his head off with an axe, holding it triumphantly aloft to an appreciative Boothen End like Perseus slaying Medusa.
Obviously Peter wouldn't have gone along with "The Family's" plan to execute his favourite football manager, and so comes bumbling onto the pitch holding a scarf for the photo-shoot, not realising that the entire situation was an ingenious ruse dreamt up by his scheming offspring. When he sees the bloody mess that's been made of Tone's arsehole, and his daughter parading around the perimeter track waving a severed head in front of the family stand, the chairman crumples to the ground, realising that his days as the true power behind Stoke City have finally drawn to a close.
The crowd go wild as Denise's stilleto boot sends Tone's head into the top corner of the net, and she celebrates with a Klinsmann-style slide towards the corner flag. At this point Tony Scholes takes the microphone and hollers "And now ladies and gentleman, the NEW manager of Stoke City...Paooooolllloooo Deeeeeeeee caaaaaaaannnniiiioooooo"
The place erupts as the former Swindon manager comes goose-stepping out of the Waddington suite to "Here Comes the Hot Stepper," with Denise and the Hippo doing a sexy little dance behind him.
How's that for a dignified exit?
|
|
|
|
Post by johnsmithsupper on Mar 2, 2013 20:24:30 GMT
you need treatment ;-)
|
|
|
|
Post by whereami on Mar 2, 2013 20:25:04 GMT
Works for me! ;D
|
|
|
|
Post by SCFC92 on Mar 2, 2013 20:25:08 GMT
Wow! ;D ;D
|
|
|
|
Post by FullerMagic on Mar 2, 2013 20:25:34 GMT
Haha. ;D I'm crying with laughter, Trousers.  AXE! AXE! AXE! AXE! |
|
|
|
Post by Deleted on Mar 2, 2013 20:28:10 GMT
Trouser you've got issues!!
Superb
|
|
|
|
Post by Deleted on Mar 2, 2013 20:28:27 GMT
Your fuckin barmy ;D ;D
|
|
|
|
Post by Deleted on Mar 2, 2013 20:31:57 GMT
Fuckin hell Warren, I bloody worry about you.....FANTASTIC!!!!!
|
|
|
|
Post by sjohank on Mar 2, 2013 20:33:20 GMT
This is so brilliant you might need a shrink! ;D
|
|
|
|
Post by whereami on Mar 2, 2013 20:36:51 GMT
One thing though, can we stop with the axe talk? Its making me think of a phrase thats very, very depressing in relation to the current situation  ;D |
|
|
|
Post by Deleted on Mar 2, 2013 20:38:30 GMT
One thing though, can we stop with the axe talk? Its making me think of a phrase thats very, very depressing in relation to the current situation ;D If it was Jonny Walters with the axe he'd have missed the bastard door |
|
|
|
Post by Mint Berry Barks on Mar 2, 2013 20:39:21 GMT
That was unexpected.
;D
|
|
|
|
Post by Trouserdog on Mar 2, 2013 21:05:43 GMT
Haha. ;D I'm crying with laughter, Trousers. AXE! AXE! AXE! AXE! I'm on a mission to make this the new MB catchphrase. ;D |
|
|
|
Post by serpico on Mar 2, 2013 21:07:39 GMT
I was thinking just present him with a painting of a spitfire, but your idea sounds better ;D
|
|
|
|
Post by Pugsley on Mar 2, 2013 21:23:59 GMT
Come on then Trousers, you've obviously got some dildo related secret in the closet. You're facking obsessed mate!!!!!!
|
|
|
|
Post by Deleted on Mar 2, 2013 21:26:17 GMT
Holy shit.
;D
|
|
|
|
Post by ruts66 on Mar 2, 2013 22:25:09 GMT
TD for Supporters Council...
;D
|
|
|
|
Post by Paul Spencer on Mar 2, 2013 22:30:15 GMT
Tears running down my face ... truly the funniest thing I've read on this messageboard in fifteen years!
;D
|
|
|
|
Post by Bojan Mackey on Mar 2, 2013 22:49:41 GMT
That's lifted my mood considerably, what an absolute pisser ;D ;D ;D.
|
|
|
|
Post by bunnyscfc on Mar 2, 2013 22:50:58 GMT
brilliant, just magic stuff.
|
|
|
|
Post by robstokie on Mar 2, 2013 22:54:18 GMT
I m all for that, as long as Walters, Whelan, Kightly and Crouch are all banished to alcatraz or anywhere outside Stoke.
|
|
|
|
Post by Staffsoatcake on Mar 2, 2013 23:03:04 GMT
Cant someone just boot him out the door?
|
|
|
|
Post by BigKahunaBurger on Mar 3, 2013 9:43:08 GMT
It's crazy, but it just might work
|
|
|
|
Post by moult50 on Mar 3, 2013 11:14:19 GMT
Brilliant post!
|
|
|
|
Post by lagwafis on Mar 3, 2013 11:30:09 GMT
Tone's tracksuit bottoms are removed and Denise whacks the dildo up Tone's arse as the tannoy blares out "Is This Love" by Whitesnake. Can we fuck the tannoy off for once and stick with the roar from the crowd |
|
|
|
Post by likelyladgalizmo on Mar 3, 2013 11:37:02 GMT
Brilliant :-)
|
|
|
|
Post by jay1610 on Mar 3, 2013 11:43:35 GMT
That's eased the hangover considerably. Pisser!
|
|
|
|
Post by shiftyfifty on Mar 3, 2013 11:49:33 GMT
What a load of bollocks!!!!!
Anyone who finds that funny should read the latest Beano.
|
|
|
|
Post by iancransonsknees on Mar 3, 2013 12:08:37 GMT
The place erupts as the former Swindon manager comes goose-stepping out of the Waddington suite to "Here Comes the Hot Stepper; with Denise and the Hippo doing a sexy little dance behind him. Always said if I'd been a boxer I'd come out to this: |
|
|
|
Post by Mr_DaftBurger on Mar 3, 2013 13:59:11 GMT
Careful what you wish for. Look what happened at Blackpool when their owner was in prison....... etc What makes you think Tone would scream with a dildo up his arse?  |
|
